People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome

By liza / Apr 15, 2024

"I was visiting my baby cousin for the first time since four years ago when he was still a baby. He was excited about his toy cars and wanted to show my brother something.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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He didn't know our names, so he goes, "Hey, black guy!" and everyone lols their asses off. My brother isn't black, and it was the cutest almost racist thing I heard." -Reddit user Lt_Shniz

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"At age 4, my nephew asked my sister, "When are you going to poop out another baby?" -Reddit user Bones_Jones

"You know why you can't break shirts? Because they have rocks and snakes and bones in 'em.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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If you break it, snakes come out. I don't want snakes coming out of my shirt, that would be crazy."

-Reddit user Chubrob

"I once heard a child say "I'm gonna get my poop on" in the next stall in a public restroom.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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I giggled." -Reddit user (deleted)

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"My nephew was riding in a car with me, and we drove past a friend of his on the side of the road, he waved but then proclaimed that so and so couldn't see him waving because he was color blind, and we were in a red car." -Reddit user (deleted)

"I'm pregnant, and my brother asked me if the baby is here yet, and I told him no. He said: "because you're not pregnant.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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You're just fat!" -Reddit user thekamil261

"A couple of weeks ago, my 4-year-old heard my 1-year-old spout some gibberish.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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The 4-year-old laughed and said, "she's speaking baby Spanish." -Reddit user hipsterdoofus

"My 4-year-old son was taking a bath, just splashing around, and casually asked, "Mom, have you ever put a rock in your butt?" I calmly answer, "No, why, have you?" He says, "Yeah." I then proceed to explain why it's not a good idea to put rocks in our butts.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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I died laughing as soon as I left the room." -Reddit user sarahforsale

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"After my brother handed my niece a water gun, she said, "Thanks, daddy, I'm gonna go kill everybody." -Reddit user (deleted)

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"Seven-year-old: "This is stupid" after learning about the Jesus story." -Reddit user elvisliveson

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"My friend's father as a child called a black guy "Chocolate Bar Man!" The dude just laughed, apparently, so it's alright." -Reddit user (deleted)

"I was asking my 5-year-old cousin how school was. He looked at me and said, "They wouldn't let us go outside for recess cause of the black guys." "The what?" I asked him. "There were black guys on the playground, so they made us play inside."Confused, I asked my aunt what he was talking about.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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"Black ice, they couldn't go out because of the black ice." -Reddit user boblahblah101

"Uncle (to cousin): "You need to eat more meat and veggies so you can be tall like the other kids in your grade!

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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You're so short!" Cousin: "WELL, they all have tall parents." -Reddit user leahlo

"My boyfriend's four-year-old niece picks up a lot of things from her parents. One morning when I was visiting, she said, "I'm tired!

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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I was so drunk last night!" -Reddit user Sheku

"My five years old cousin, after being explained about the meaning of Christmas.

People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome People Are Sharing The Funniest Things They've Heard A Child Say, And The Quotes Are Almost Too Wholesome
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He said, "So, is baby Jesus dead?" Replied, "Yes, indeed he was." His tearful response, "Well, I'm sure gonna miss him." -Reddit user blonde_awesome