1. Nowhere To Be Found
Every professional was once a student until they got their license. Those professionals studied hard for several years to ensure they could provide a secure and safe service. Every professional in the medical field knows about this.
However, imagine you are one of those practitioners. When a patient walks in, state their concern to ask for help. But when you provided a resolution after careful observations and tests, they ended up not believing you.
A patient comes in with abdominal pain. "I think it's my gallbladder," they say. Looking over their chart, I saw their gallbladder was removed 20 years ago, so that is impossible.
I mentioned this, and they replied, "Yeah, but it grew back."
I know there are a number of other things it could've been. A retained stone crossed my mind, but after 20+ years, I found this unlikely. He/she also had the scar to vouch for the surgery. There was definitely a psychosocial element to this case.
feeder_bands
2. Dodged A Cure
I took care of a child that got chicken pox. The mother was strongly anti-vax but was yelling at me, "How can modern medicine not have a treatment for chicken pox?"
And we were so dumbfounded by that statement. We don’t even know if she was serious or nah.
She couldn't grasp the concept we do; she just refused it for her child.
smackey
3. Unprofessional Advice
So here’s what happened.
Me: Sir, I need to know why you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your HIV.
Him: Well, I met this witch online that–
Me: Wait, did you just say, "Witch"?
Him: Yeah, she sent me a bunch of herbs every month to cure my HIV, and they worked. The last time I checked, I was cured.
Me: Where and what tests did you do to know you were cured?
Him: I made an online test that the witch told me to. There were a lot of random questions, but in the end, it said that I was free of HIV.
Me: Ooook, we will need to do a blood test to confirm that. Now, can you tell me which herbs you were consuming?
Him: I don't know the name, but I have them right here [points at his backpack]
Me: May I take a look?
Him: Sure!
I opened the bag, and what I saw was nothing but ground oregano with something that smelled like chlorine... The patient, sadly, died from severe sepsis a month later with a highly resistant microorganism. Just because a "witch" on a website told him to stop taking his meds...
Temuyin
4. Mom Indenial
A mother brought her 14-year-old daughter to the ER due to hypogastric pain and spotting. We asked the daughter when her last period was.
She said it 2 months ago.
We asked her for her sexual history, thinking this might be an ectopic pregnancy. The mother kept butting in, saying that she was still a virgin and she had no boyfriend. We left it at that until her mother went out to go to the bathroom.
The patient admitted that she had physical relations with a classmate of hers. We requested a pregnancy test and hCG titers... It really looks like an ectopic pregnancy. We advised the mother that her daughter needs immediate surgical intervention.
She refused to believe us, saying the lab results were unreliable and untrue. She keeps on saying that her daughter is a virgin.
She stormed out of the ER with her daughter, who looked really in pain.
IAMAllama_AMA
5. Family Statements
I had a patient once with family members who were some of the most frustrating people I've ever dealt with. The patient was obese and had open sores and wounds in all her skin folds.
Cleaning her when she was first admitted was like a dirty clown car. We found a floral pillowcase shoved under one fold and what we thought was a smashed bread crust in a fold near her groin.
Anyway, because of her weight, she wasn't a candidate for surgery, so our team could do nothing for her. I think about 5 or 6 different meetings were held with her family to discuss her prognosis.
Her daughter told the attending physician he didn't know what he was talking about and that she had been this sick before and pulled through. Her pH was so low it read as "<6.8," her blood pressure was a solid 60/25 despite every vasopressor under the sun running at three times the maximum doses.
When the charge nurse pointed out her blood pressure on the monitor, the daughter said, "Psh, I've seen lower."
When she finally died, her family was livid that we didn't save her. We coded her for 20 minutes, and they told us we should have continued for "at least an hour." I felt terrible that her last days were spent in such torture, all because her family was in such denial about her condition.
DarwinTheIkeaMonkey
6. No Trust
Lady comes in with shortness of breath.
We checked her troponin levels, and they're elevated.
Me: Ma'am, you're having a heart attack.
Her: No, I'm not.
Me: Uh... yes, you are.
Her: No, I'm not.
Her PCP came into the ER and fired her as his patient. She signed a against medical advice and left.
She died the next day. Of a freaking heart attack. Yeah.
elaerna
7. Full Of Doubts
I introduced myself to a patient as Doctor... your anesthetist.
The patient said I could not be a doctor as anesthetists aren't doctors. Not long after, another patient asked me if I had to go to uni to be an anesthetist.
Still, another asked me if I had to know as much as a pharmacist.
cookie5427
8. Wrong Comparison
Ophthalmologist here.
I told the patient he needed reading glasses, which he didn't believe. I explained that everyone develops presbyopia eventually.
Him: Come on, George Clooney doesn't wear reading glasses!
I just thought about these two, “Yes, he does & I'm not sure why you are comparing yourself with him.”
aworkingmom
9. Impossible Request
Had a female patient. Her mom asked me to adjust her scrotum. Trying not to burst out laughing, I said, "Your daughter's scrotum?"
She acted like I was stupid and pointed to the back of her neck.
I knew she wouldn't listen because she was so convinced, so I stopped arguing. And I also wanted her to go around saying it to other people.
Laceface_12
10. Homemade Remedy
The time I was telling the family that the patient was going to die.
Her lab results (pH 6.6, lactic acid 25) were incompatible with life, and they said they were sure she would wake up if I put ice in her underpants.
Well. Yeah, we are not going to do that. She died, and they still didn't believe me she was dead.
They kept trying to wake her up.
Medcait
11. Sister Knows Best
20 year old girl and her fiancé find out that she's pregnant
Me: (part way through taking her history) Do you smoke cigarettes
Her: Yeah, about a pack a day
Me: You should definitely stop that
Her: Well, my sister told me that if I stopped smoking, the baby would go into withdrawal and die
Me: wut
DON'T SMOKE IF YOU'RE PREGNANT OR PLANNING ON BECOMING PREGNANT. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO QUIT
adipds
12. Instant Lecture
Had a patient come into the ED for what was essentially a cold. Kept requesting antibiotics and kept explaining that they wouldn't help her viral symptoms.
I then sat down and gave her a basic tutorial on the differences between bacteria and viruses, antibiotics, and antivirals. Hopefully, it will be enough to help her in medical school finals next week!
candy4tartarus
13. Coffee Lover No More
I am a Doctor, but this was my Nonna, not a patient. She was drinking 11 cups of coffee a day, which was too much. We held an intervention while visiting for dinner, and when we told her she was addicted, she responded...
"No, no, the coffee is good for me. It helps me with my shaking."
She cut down once we explained to her what drug withdrawal was.
sam_galactic
14. Your Call, Miss
Might be late to this, but a 17-year-old girl who was pregnant came into the emergency department to get checked as she was punched in the stomach.
She wanted to go out for a smoke.
So I did the whole pregnancy and smoking spiel. She stopped me and told me I knew nothing, as the baby would be harmed if she stopped smoking straight away.
wztnaes
15. Not Funny, Mister
When I was a medical student, this middle-aged male patient from a rural area got it in his head that I knew absolutely nothing, and he was doing me a service teaching/talking to me. He was in the colorectal clinic for something unrelated.
He started telling me about the "gland" on the back of his neck that would drain every so often. When he saw that I was unfamiliar with this particular "gland," he gave me this knowing look, laughed, and started instructing me (the dumb little medical student) about this "gland."
Apparently, everybody has this gland for the immune system, but his would drain when he was "stressed."
No, sir, I was being polite, but you have a nasty freaking abscess on the back of your neck.
I hoped the patient would try to explain this medical wonder to my attending when he came in, but he didn't.
VampireDonuts
16. Two Odd Patients
Med student here, but I have had two winners.
When discussing a precancerous skin lesion on a patient, they opted to use their "laser ray" instead of classic treatment. It was a cancer laser ray that was bought online. It also apparently had "frequencies for arthritis."
They insisted that the vibratory frequency can be tuned to destroy cancer cells, just like a trained singer can use her voice to break a crystal glass. The patient did not believe that cancer cells and regular cells would have the same frequency.
Another patient insisted that his cancer had been properly treated at home with baking soda (he gave me a website like phkillscancer.com or something).
The patient also had with them a surgery report in which it appears their baking soda consumption resulted in a buildup of abnormal calcium in the wall of the stomach, which had to be removed.
LatrodectusGeometric
17. Anti Vax Flu
Veterinarian here. The anti-vax movement has been slowly seeping into my profession for years.
Still, in my area, it's gotten much worse recently. Almost every day, I have a client inform me about how toxic vaccines are and that I should talk to their dog breeder because he/she is very informed.
Most of the time, I can convince them that this is incorrect. However, some are still quite resistant.
Vaccinating for rabies is not just a suggestion; it is the law, and my clinic has a policy that we don't let any of our healthy animals be "vaccine-free." I've had a few clients walk out over this policy.
I feel bad for their animals.
These are the same kinds of clients that won't use flea and tick prevention on their obviously flea-infested dog but will use lemongrass and peppermint instead. Spoiler: it doesn't work.
Friedzilla72
18. Sudden Realization
Woman with this weird abdominal cramping, twitching presentation. I won't say stupid because she probably had some kind of undiagnosed dementia, but definitely the most bizarre.
Ask her what she is feeling and why she's twitching her abdomen.
Her: It's like it's trying to get out!
Me: Like, what's trying to get out, ma'am?
Her: My.... my.... my SPERM!
Me: Um, ma'am... you don't have sperm.
Her: Oh
For those of you curious, by the time I saw her last official diagnosis, it was pseudoseizures. She tended to start twitching parts of her body whenever we asked whether she had twitching in those areas. "Ma'am, have you had any twitching in your legs?" *She looks at her leg, and it starts twitching." "Yeah, I have."
ponderousoatmeal
19. Should Know Better
Woman with breast cancer. She was in the medical field, too, so I am unsure why she said the things she did.. perhaps she was still in denial? Idk...
Anyhow, I was the intern when she came in for a chest tube insertion to drain her pleural effusion (it was obviously suspected to be malignant).
After the procedure, I went home, and the resident on-call had to deal with multiple calls from the distraught staff in her ward for reasons I shall explain below. The following day, I was told by said resident -sporting a haggard appearance and blood-shot eyes from a busy shift - that she was my problem now. With that, the poor man left for home.
I go in to see her and first get accosted by ward staff, who tell me she legit refused all pain meds. Right after the procedure. Which entailed a tube scratching against her parietal pleura. Ow.
So I go in and am told by this woman, who, let me remind you, was employed in the healthcare sector, that the tube has been "pushed in far too much" and is "stabbing" her and that I need to undo the stitch and pull it out a few centimeters.
Um, no, lady, I'm not authorized to do that.
The X-ray was exemplary, and no intervention was necessary.
I told her she needed to take her meds if she wanted the pain to get better, and she said, no joke, that "pain meds will further spread cancer" and that I "should know that, being a student of medicine."
And she further said, "Look, no need to tell anybody, you're a doctor, use your own judgment and pull the tube out." o.O
Sigh. She was adamant. My professor would be late that day, and I obviously wouldn't do anything without his permission. I documented her refusal and went on my way. She left by the afternoon, against medical advice.
I feel bad for her, but she wants to let me help, so yeah.
Bird_That_Flies
20. Own Body
Doctor here. One we commonly get is "I know my body." I scored a guy with knee pain - the joint looked perfect.
Told him after the surgery, and he told us, "No, my tendons are all torn. I know my body."
Told a lady she was pregnant. "No, I'm not. I just had a big lunch. I know my body."
I just don’t get these people tho.
IAMA_Proctologist
21. Trying Not To Cringe
Probably the legions of women who seemingly don't know how long it can take for an IUD to work and want it taken out cause it didn't instantly stop their periods within a month.
Also, the women who come in with chlamydia deny making out with someone. Like, come on, I'm not your boyfriend.
You don't need to lie to me.
Everyones__Grudge
22. Definitely JUST a Doctor
A woman had a BAD yeast infection. Besides that smell, I also smelled feces. I asked if she wiped back to front.
She said, "Yeah, but that's not why I have this. It's from drinking pop."
Despite my assurances that it was not from drinking Pop, she wouldn't believe me. I said, "Ok, you must be right. I'm just a Doctor," and prescribed the same thing I would have if she was intelligent.
KravMaga16
23. Doesn’t Make Sense
Paramedic Student here:
It is not the most stupid thing I've encountered, but the most common stupid thing;
Me: Do you have any pain anywhere else?
Patient: Nah, all good.
Me: Then what do you take this specific medication for?
Patient: Oh, that's for my back pain.
OR
Me: Any past medical history?
Patient: Nah.
Me: Ever been to a hospital?
Patient: Nah.
Me: Have you had a heart attack before?
Patient: Yeah, how do you know?
Has a massive personal medication bag todo with cardiac meds
[deleted]
24. Far From The Issue
A radiographer here, I had the ED doctor request soft tissue neck X-rays, and the doctor was very much like, "Don't question it, just do it."
Anyway, after that patient left the ED, the doctor came and told me that the gentleman came to the ED at 3 am because he had hot milk three days ago. His tongue has been hurting ever since.
The patient burnt his tongue but insisted on an X-ray to ensure nothing was wrong.
agonz18
25. Finally Snapped Back
I'm a registered dietician/nutritionist.
I was counseling a patient who was obese, diabetic, and had severe peripheral neuropathy.
He was also a chiropractor who had a hard-on for homeopathic remedies.
I couldn't get out a full sentence without this guy trying to tell me that "a dilution of whatever the fudge" would do the exact same thing.
Finally, I just said, "Look, Doctor. You need to cut the sugar and eat something in the vegetable family with every meal. You can drink whatever potions you want on top of that. But 30 years of drinking your distilled water has landed you here, in my office, with a broken pancreas and no feeling in your feet. So let's give this a serious try unless you want to take a chance with your flower remedies when the heart attack or stroke hits."
ThatsNotHowYouEat
26. Shoulder Lady
A woman in her 60's came in to see me for shoulder pain and was adamant that a chiropractor had flipped her clavicle around using his clicker.
By her description, she thought it had rotated 180 degrees around its long axis, and she wanted me to flip it back. She had rotator cuff disease but would not believe me.
After three visits, I finally told her that there was nothing I could do for her. My office manager called her "crazy shoulder lady."
monkeyselbo
27. Magical Honey
During residency, when I was working in the ICU, a patient was dying of end-stage hematological cancer (I can't recall which type exactly now) with ARDS, renal failure, and sepsis.
The patient had very clear goals of care and did not want CPR.
When I called the family to come in very early one morning as we felt the patient would die imminently, they proceeded to insist that if I just let them put Manuka honey through the patient's G-tube, then she would get better.
I had to repeatedly tell them that all of the patient's organs had failed despite all the treatments they had been willing to undergo. Still, they were fixated on this magical honey cure.
Very sad.
catsnpole
28. Hard To Keep Cool
I had an extremely frustrating dialogue with one, took about 45 minutes, and got nowhere.
The gist:
Patient: I keep gaining weight even though I don't eat anything.
Me: That's against the laws of physics.
Patient: But it's happening to me. I tried a diet where I ate 800 calories per day for 2 weeks and gained 5kg. So, those laws don't apply to me.
Me: I don't believe you.
Patient: So you're calling me a liar!?
I eventually told the person that if they were really generating mass out of thin air, scientists worldwide would want to study the phenomenon. This is the only time I have ever almost lost my temper with a patient.
KamahlYrgybly
29. Preservatives Added
When I was shadowing in a peds unit, a doctor told me how the father of a newborn was against vaccines, even vitamin K.
All because he thought the preservatives in them were harmful, AS HE WAS EATING A BAG OF FREAKING DORITOS.
A family came in like a day later because the kid was about to bleed out.
[deleted]
30. Benefits of Walking
Had a patient with raging diabetes who kept refusing insulin. Anyway, once her other ailments resolved, her high blood glucose (300s) was the only thing holding up her discharge home.
Got screamed at by the patient's sister, like, "Didn't u know that the only thing that works to get the patient's blood sugar down is walking around? You're supposed to be a doctor, right?"
Right on, lady! Forget the insulin! Why would that work?!
[deleted]
31. Tough Mom
Had a two-year-old boy crying in pain in the ER. Mom says he's having trouble learning to use the toilet. During the exam, I noticed his foreskin ballooned out, and the opening at the end was dripping a little urine at a time.
Felt his bladder, and it was full. Diagnosis: The kid was full of urine and had phimosis so bad that it was preventing the urine from coming out. I said that he needed an emergency circumcision.
The mom, the closest thing to a modern Flower Child I'd ever seen, tried to tell me I was wrong. "He'll grow out of it," she said. All this time, the kid is screaming in pain. I eventually got the grandmother involved and called the kid's father.
After three hours, the mom finally gave in.
markko79
32. Worst Karen
Last week, I had a patient with Hepatitis B, and the mother was screaming at me how stupid I was for not being able to prevent that kind of thing.
I told her about vaccines, and she said, and I quote, "Vaccines cause autism, you freaking fool. What university did you get your medical degree at?"
I told her I went to the University of Chicago, and here's her reply: "Oh please. They let anyone get into there. Go to a real university like Harvard or Yale, and then you can make a case for Autim-Causing vaccines."
I called my co-worker, who went to Harvard and gave the same diagnosis. The mother walked out and is currently compiling a case for a lawsuit.
Skitty1558
33. Human Temperature
I had a father bring in his 8-year-old son, who had a bit of a cough. I checked the boys, and the temperature was 36.9 degrees Celsius.
This is a perfectly normal temp. Father argued with me for 10 stating his son usually ran at 36.5, so this was apparently a fever, and he needed to go to the hospital.
Tried my best to educate but ended up asking him to leave as he wasted 25mins of my time
Hus001
34. Wrong Move
A homeless guy wrapped his leg with a trash bag when it's 80 outside and humid. Ended up growing maggots over his leg wounds under the bag. I asked him why he did that.
Him: To keep the flies out.
Well, clearly, it didn't work...
Oh man, where do I begin? One guy needed to have his leg amputated due to an infected foot wound that failed after a foot amputation and poor circulation. He would go out to smoke in his wheelchair every night and come back around 5-6am (this is at the hospital).
Where did he go? Who knows. On top of that, we told him not to walk on his foot because it would get worse. He doesn't have any feelings due to diabetic neuropathy. He tells us, 'I know I have good circulation in this leg..' We ask him how he knows.
He says, 'I have a slightly better feeling'. Circulation = sensation? Ok.. I guess I'll go back to medical school.
Sooooowhat
35. Part of a Conspiracy
I once gave a friendly warning that taking testosterone shots without a prescription or a real indication for it (like measurably low testosterone) increased the risk of heart attacks and such. These hormones influence our good and bad cholesterol, among other things like the risk of cardiomyopathy.
The response was, "If it's made in your body, it can't hurt you." Then he went on to passive-aggressively say I was part of a pharmaceutical company conspiracy.
Cancer is made by your body, and so is acid... I wish I could have just done a little explanatory experiment where I gave him the same exact overdose of stomach acid as the overdose of testosterone he was asking for, just for a few seconds to let the idea sink in.
this_will_go_poorly
36. The Daughter
90+ year old man in the neuro ICU after debulking (partial resection) of a very bad glioblastoma (brain tumor, the kind John McCain has). The cancer was a terminal diagnosis; despite the surgery, there was still cancer left, and it was a very bad cancer.
Unfortunately, the old guy ended up with pretty bad delirium (likely from a combo of being super old, having brain surgery, being on steroids, getting opioid pain medicines, being in an ICU, and oh yeah having terminal brain cancer).
I was explaining to his family what was going on with his delirium and why he was so high risk, and I listed the risk factors. When I got to the "brain tumor" part, his daughter (who claimed to be an MD) said, "Oh no, the cancer was removed, so I don't think that has anything to do with it."
Then she tried to get me to give him some BS homeopathic medication that she swore they used all the time at the hospital where she worked in Boston.
I had to tell her that we don't give patients non-FDA-approved outside medications in the neuro ICU or in our hospital in general.
[deleted]
37. Self Diagnosis
Fourth-year medical student here.
Had a patient on my EM rotation who came in convinced he was withdrawing from Benadryl (he wasn't, and it is very rare to experience dependence on Benadryl).
When I asked him why he felt that way, he said his throat felt funny. He demanded that we take his vital signs to make sure he was ok but refused any labs, no matter how many times I tried to reassure him.
So we did his vitals and sent him home.
[deleted]
38. Definitely Not Like Others
'I don't know why I'm fat. I eat just the same as anyone else.' The woman was 400 pound.
Me: Ok, so if yesterday was a typical day, what did you eat?
Her: Oh, just some cereal.
Me: Can you be more specific, please?
Her: 4 bowls of frosties (later found out that equaled an entire 1kg box).
Me: And what kind of liquid was that with?
Her: A pot (500ml) of double cream with each bowl.
She genuinely didn't see anything odd with that breakfast, and to describe the rest of that day's food would be an essay, not to mention that it was only part 1 of her breakfast!
X0AN
39. Drown In Jello
Was a CNA for a while. Had a resident who had very late-stage dementia, and was clearly going to die very soon from it.
She hadn't eaten that day for obvious reasons, and her family came to visit. They tried to convince us the reason she wasn't feeling good was because she hasn't eaten (you know, nothing to do with the late-stage dementia or anything).
So, the family insisted that they feed her. They then shoved Jello down her throat, and she drowned in it and died very quickly.
Cesder
40. Not The Baby
Telling an expectant mother she is not, in fact, eating for two grown adults and should not be doubling her meal size because she is pregnant. Especially when her BMI is already about 40.
She responded, "I'm eating one for myself and one for my baby because it's growing."
Sorry honey, you're eating one for yourself and one for your enormous dump truck ass, and the baby is just on the ride - getting poisoned by gestational diabetes
this_will_go_poorly
41. Pig’s Part
I had a patient once for whom I was taking a medical history. He told me he had undergone bladder surgery as a teenager.
Me: What was the operation?
Patient: I had a pig's bladder transplanted into me.
Me: That's not medically possible.
Patient: Then why have I got a pig's bladder?
Me: You haven't, I said. 'Where are the scars?
Patient: They didn't leave any.
Me: How did they get the pig bladder in then?
Patient: I don't know.' he says, 'How do you normally put them in?
Me: Oh dear
PicaTron
42. Reflection of Your Actions
I had a patient complaining of numbness in his left arm. When I asked about the frequency of his symptoms, he told me it only happened when he read at night while leaning heavily on his left elbow in his chair.
He argued with me that it couldn't be because he was leaning on it and that there had to be something wrong with his neck or shoulder. It's amazing how in denial people can be that their actions can cause their symptoms.
SMH
Chiromaniac
43. The Supplement
One of the things that bothers me is when a patient comes over for our ‘help’ but doesn’t want to be helped.
"I'm going to be fine. All I need is my cinnamon supplement."
If the cinnamon supplement didn't prevent you from getting a massive brain tumor, it's not going to cure it. Perhaps you should stop refusing the dexamethasone that helped you regain some use of the left side of your body.
Sekmet19
44. Wrong Word
Not a doctor, but...
My mom took me and my best friend to lunch. We were maybe 14. I suggested this local pizza place, and my friend says, "I can't eat there. I got gonorrhea last time."
My mom, who is a doctor, tried explaining it to him, but he insisted that he was not trying to say diarrhea, but that he definitely had contracted gonorrhea from pizza.
[deleted]
45. New Test Unlocked
Nurse here: a patient called asking for a blood test that their naturopath had recommended.
I said the particular test did not exist, but she was adamant we should give her the form. 20 minutes later, we got a call from the lab in hysterics telling us that the test did not exist.
The patient lodged a formal complaint. It was not upheld.
jenitlz