1. Worst Allergy
Most people probably believe that not everyone trusts professionals in the medical field. They usually believe what they feel because their logic is, ‘This is my body.’ Still, they choose to visit the hospital.
These medical professionals from the Reddit Community shared their ‘I am very smart’ patients, who thought they outsmarted their doctors. Scrolling through this compilation might make you think, ‘Why do these people ask for a medical professional if they wouldn’t believe them?’
Well, these people probably thought the same. Check these out!
RN here. I see some crazy stuff, but one thing that stands out is the time I was admitting a guy to the hospital. I can't really remember what for, but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it.
Anyhow, I'm at the computer going over some admission questions with him and his 10 family members who are crowded in the room with him. A few minutes in, he starts complaining that he's thirsty.
He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. So I got on my phone, called the nurse assistant, and asked her to bring in some ice water.
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the whole family screams, "NOOOO! NO WATER! HE IS ALLERGIC TO WATER!"
Well, this is going to be a problem. It turns out the guy had been drinking nothing but Sprite and sweet tea for years because of his "water allergy."
The next question the wife had was, "Where are we all supposed to sleep?" The whole family, 10 people, were planning to stay at the hospital with him.
You can't make this up.
jsellars8
2. Wrong Strategy
I work in the ER. We had a very pregnant patient come in needing stitches in her private part.
Turns out she was a realtor and didn’t want her water to break while she was showing a house, so she put a glass cup in her pants to catch the water.
Instead of using a pad or an adult diaper, she went for a GLASS CUP.
She sat down while showing a house, and sure enough, it broke and cut her up pretty badly.
lmao_turkey
3. Unwanted Suggestion
I have had several arguments with diabetics about Coke/Kool-Aid/Sweet Tea vs those made with artificial sugar.
I tell them, look, don't drink sugar. If you have to have something like that, use an artificial sweetener.
Patient: No way! That stuff is poison! It will kill me!
Me: Ma'am, your A1c is 14. Sugar is already killing you.
I just don’t get these people.
GrumpyDietitian
4. Hot Ineffective Ways
I had a patient who was a completely non-compliant diabetic, smoker, morbidly, who had his first heart attack at 45.
His blood pressure was also super high.
And instead of taking his anti-hypertensive medications, he went to the gym.
In the gym, he would sit in the sauna for a very long time, sweat a lot, and lower his blood pressure by dehydrating.
bitbitch6969
5. Poor Kid
I have one. I got this from my friend, who is a doctor on the children's ward in a rural hospital.
These parents bring in their child whose hair is infested with lice.
The lice were visible to the naked eye and could be seen crawling on the child's clothing. While the medical staff examined the child in order to determine a course of action, they discovered the child was covered in a white powder and smelled heavily of chemicals.
They asked the parents what substances and smells emanated from the child. The parents said, quite a matter of fact, it was a powder and flea and tick spray they used on their dogs on the family's farm.
Needless to say, social workers were notified about this case.
habitual_wanderer
6. Blame On Professionals
70-year-old female tripped and fell 2 days ago. She came in with hip pain but reported after the fall, and her nose was bleeding - she had landed on her nose.
About a year prior, her dentist had messed up an infraorbital nerve block and caused some swelling in that region, but that all was resolved.
This old lady is now convinced her nosebleed after falling on her face is related to an "infection" from a dental issue a year ago.
After multiple back-and-forths on the etiology of the nosebleed, she became the first patient. I raised my voice and put down an authoritative "No, you are wrong, just stop it."
detdox
7. Indenial Mom
I work for an optometrist, it was the month before school started, and a woman brought in her son to have his eyes checked for the first time. Seems like a pretty reasonable thing for any parent, even if he was a little older than usual, for a first eye exam.
Better late than never, I guess.
The mom was well-spoken and appeared fairly intelligent. Everything went as normal. The doctor examined the boy and ended up prescribing glasses.
The doctor explained to the mom that her son had to wear his glasses all the time since he's nearsighted and can't see clearly past 5' in front of him and that he’d definitely need glasses for school.
For some reason, this caused a switch to flip in the mom, and she spazzed out on the doctor, saying that her son doesn't need glasses and that the doctor is only saying that he does because he wants to sell glasses.
She says that she only brought her son in because there was some form for school that needed to be filled out and that doctors are all con artists trying to push unnecessary medications and interventions.
The doctor tried to calm her down and explain that he was only trying to help them but that she was free to get a second opinion. The doctor gave her a copy of the kid's prescription and sent them on their way.
About four months later, the lady is back, asking for another copy of her son's prescription. Apparently, the first-semester midterm results were in, and her son failed them all because he couldn't see the board in his classes and needed glasses!
sosanostra
8. Baffling Statements
Any variation of this...Which I get all the freaking time.
Me: So, how are things going with your diabetes?
Them: I don't have diabetes
Me: Then why are you talking metformin/Victoza/whatever
Them: I USED to have diabetes.
Then, replace diabetes with hypertension/antihypertensives, etc. Or when I ask them what medical diagnosis they have, they say none while taking a ton of meds.
OR when they misname a body part... Prostrate, tendant, neuterus.
seawolfie
9. Didn’t Say a Word
Patient has a hard time getting pregnant. Finally conceives but miscarried. The patient has a D&C so that she can try again, this time with medical intervention. We monitor her blood to ensure the pregnancy hormone is gone before beginning treatment.
However, she keeps coming back with high levels of hormones. Docs are worried because she might have some retained placenta or pituitary disorder, and this could be super bad for future fertility.
We call her in for a conversation about the hormone levels not going away. After talking together about what might be wrong, they will go home and think about further tests. She says, "I need to go. I have an appointment at the weight-loss center for an HCG shot."
Turns out that she is on the HCG diet. HCG IS the pregnancy hormone. And this was after an hour of the docs saying, "We don't know why you have these constant high levels of HCG in your blood, and we are worried."
KaylaChinga
10. Wrong Product
Had a young woman with recurring UTIs that began after a recent partner and with no STDs; I went through the standard questions trying to figure out what could be causing them and eventually found out she had been lubricating with jelly.
Not KY jelly.
The mix-up had literally been a joke on House. It took me some effort to keep a straight face, but we eventually resolved the problem, and she stopped getting UTIs.
rawrthesaurus
11. Strict Diet
80+-year-old patient who was declining with multiple diagnoses and about 3 decubitus ulcers. The daughter was adamant that her father be kept on his strict "paleo" diet because that would "supercharge" his healing.
She had a stack of diet books.
He simply wasn't getting enough nutrition to heal the ulcers. He didn't like the diet at all, by the way. At some point, you kind of have to stop being polite and just tell patients/ family members bluntly that you don't have time for this crap and what you recommend, and they can do what they want and just document everything.
It happens a lot, but she sticks out.
jdubs333
12. Improper Diet It Is
Oh yes, we had an elderly woman with severe malnutrition, and her hippie daughter wanted us only to give her raw, unpasteurized goat's milk.
We did everything we could to convince her that her mother wasn't getting enough nutrition. We even tried to allow her to bring in the raw, unpasteurized goat's milk that we would supplement with the FDA-approved formula we wanted to give her mother through the feeding tube.
We finally had to become pretty blunt with the daughter and let her know that her mother was going to die due to malnutrition due to the daughter's unique views on what was a proper diet for her mother.
nellirn
13. Poor Pets
I'm a veterinarian, and I can't tell you how many clients want to explain to me that their pets' illnesses can be fixed if they are fed a raw diet/grain-free diet/ fish oil supplement/ etc.
Sure, whatever.
Come back to me when your dog's huge mammary mass ulcerates and starts leaking pus everywhere, and we can re-evaluate how well her raw diet is working to fix that.
PrettyButEmpty
14. Multiple Degrees
I am a dental student. One patient in particular is a pathological liar. During one visit, they claimed to have gone to medical school. The next visit was that they did a dental Army. The last visit was when they had a Ph.D.
The patient will say things like,
Patient: Hey doc, do you need me to move my head mesial or distal?
Me: No. I need you to move your head right.
Patient: Hey doc, are these cavities being caused by the anaerobic pathology microbes?
Me: No. They are caused by you eating snacks all day and not brushing.
Macabalony
15. A Pathological Liar
I’m an OR nurse, and I had an oral surgery patient who had a self-reported history of 250+ various surgical procedures, a list of 20 allergies, tons of reported health issues, plus her pre-teen son supposedly had dozens of health issues as well.
She refused to remove her glasses during induction and started screaming and crying about claustrophobia when we put the mask on her face. She also insisted on taking a stuffed animal to the OR.
Anyway, I'm getting to the point. She was having oral surgery because she told us, insisted, that the last time she went to the dentist, they told her not to brush her teeth for at least a year.
So she hadn’t brushed her teeth in like a year and a half.
That was one for the books.
rostinze
16. Taking Things Too Literally
Pediatric dental is a minefield for “I am very smart” material.
Patient/Parent: But why does my child have 17 cavities?? We don't drink soda or eat processed sugars. All we drink is organic juice and eat those real fruit gummies!!
Me: Well, fruit has a lot of sugar in it.
Patient/Parent: BUT THE BOTTLE SAYS NO SUGAR ADDED!!
Me: Right, there's no additional sugar added, but there's already a lot in there naturally.
Patient/Parent: Oh, and we're an all-natural household, so we don't use fluoride toothpaste. And we don't floss because the material the floss is made out of is toxic. Oh, and a lot of times, we don't brush our kid’s teeth before bed because we're too tired.
My favorite excuse for not flossing their child's teeth is, "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FLOSS A KIDS TEETH??"
I mean, I'm a pediatric dental hygienist, so... yeah?
alison_bee
17. Not Here For Cure
It's not my story but rather my colleagues. A patient was admitted for anemia, and a localized cancer was found.
She was referred to surgery so she could get cured of her local cancer, and she started telling everyone that it was the doctors who caused the cancer and that she was doing just fine before coming to the hospital.
She lectured the surgeon and my colleague, who pleaded with her to get her surgery(so that the cancer doesn’t advance), and yet she refused, saying she knew better and probably didn’t even have cancer.
Gastro_dude
18. Second Opinion No More
I didn't treat this patient, but I was on shift when this guy came in with tombstones on his EKG in the setting of chest pain.
He told the ED doc, "I want a second opinion before going to the cath lab."
This EKG is unmistakable. The interventionalist had to come down to the emergency department to tell him he was having a heart attack.
Dyspaereunia
19. Too Much Thinking
ER RN here, not a physician, but you may find this interesting.
The young adult male presents with multiple abscesses on various parts of his body. States he injected his boyfriend's semen into himself trying to get pregnant.
He tells one of the APCs he should have gone with his original plan and tried on his dog first. Psych clears him. He’s admitted to the floor and gets IV antibiotics.
What.
MedicalPartisan
20. Wrong Profession
I'm not a doctor; I'm an optician, and at this point, I was a young lady in my mid-twenties. I had a guy come in saying he was a doctor, wrote himself an RX for glasses, and brought frames.
A few days later, his lenses return, and he puts on his glasses but can't see.
I started going through the possibilities. Usually, with progressive lenses, it's an adjustment issue, and they need to sit differently on his face. He completely refuses to let me adjust them. So, I checked the lenses, and the RX matched what he wrote. I try to explain that there are only two options: either they need to sit differently on his face, or the RX isn't good.
He tells me, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'VE HAD EYE SURGERY FOR A DISEASE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF."
I offer to remake his lenses to prove a point. His new lenses came in a few days later, and an older coworker is helping him. I told her everything. Again, he can't see.
She tells him, "The young girl who tried to help you last time was trying to explain that if we adjust your glasses, you might be able to see out of them. Will you please let me try?"
He lets her, and suddenly, he can see (granted, not perfectly because he wrote his own RX, and the bottom sentence will explain more)
It turns out that jerkward was a lung doctor and not even an eye doctor.
smokesmagoats
21. Dealt With Worst Ones
Where to start!
Picture a middle-aged man; his index finger is 5 times the size of the rest of his fingers. It smells, it’s leaking pus, there’s necrotic tissue. Basically, it is one huge infected cancerous finger. He was a firm believer in not taking any sort of medication, including antibiotics or chemo. Died a few weeks later, but he did manage to tell us we were all idiots before he passed away.
Another patient was a young child who came in with an extremely high Blood Glucose level. Once she was stable, we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. For some reason, every time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high, although we were appropriately treating her. Her family would bring her fast food for every meal and hide it on the side table.
More teaching and resources were put into place.
Also had a mom in hysterics because she was convinced that her neighbor’s, friend’s, stepson’s, and teacher’s dog had MRSA, so her baby was going to die. It took everything within me not to tell her that most of the hospital staff have MRSA.
But it took 3 hours for me to finally calm her down after I called infectious control, her pediatrician, gynecologist, and family doctor. Yes, I had to contact all these people; yes, they laughed at me; yes, she was beside me the whole time, questioning their judgment.
I love my job, but at times it makes me crazy!
xxsheaxx
22. Completely Clueless
Nurse here. The number of American 20-something males who don't know what circumcision is is ridiculously high. They think that boys are "born circumcised."
Evidence: New fathers (and mothers) asking me what's wrong with their newborn son's private parts.
Me: Ummm. He still has his foreskin. Many parents choose to have it removed when the baby is a couple of days old. It's called circumcision.
Often followed by a parent's question: "What's circumcision?" That's when I facepalm.
markko79
23. Too Independent
Not a doctor but a gastro nurse. We had a recurring patient who was just a really, very strange lady. She had a stoma that absolutely stunk to high heavens because, for the last 20 years, she has not been cleaning it properly. Every single day, her stoma would come off because she was twisting the drain tube and wouldn't allow us to change it.
So this lady was really rude and would shout at us too, and one night shift, I couldn't take it anymore, and I snapped at her. I didn't yell, but I was overly stern about the fact that if she did not let me clean and treat her stoma, then the MRSA that she wasn't able to get rid of because she refused washes would eat her alive.
I didn't handle that very well in hindsight, but she let me change the stoma.
So, this entire ordeal, she's yelling at me that her stoma bags are not cut to fit her stoma, that they are too small because her stoma is "50cm by 50cm," to which I corrected her, saying that's impossible.
She was adamant that's how big her stoma was (it was a 30mm diameter). When I was cleaning the stoma, she yelled at me because it hurt, so she just wanted to pop the new one on.
I explained it was hurting because of infection as she never cleans it. She proceeds to tell me that she knows better because she has had the stoma for nearly as long as I've been alive. I eventually ended up telling her to shut up and let me do my job, which seemed to work, and the stoma did not come off again that shift.
When she was eventually discharged (she refused every placement to the point where we almost considered a court order to evict her), one of our F1s nearly cried with relief.
ecnalubma
24. Neglected Illnesses
My aunt (who has varicose veins, pretty obvious to anyone who sees it) once asked me why her legs hurt and what those bluish lines under her skin were. I almost went on to explain to her about dilated veins when she interrupted and decides for herself that those were her nerves. Dying nerves. And the blue stuff was blood clots inside the nerves. I’m a medical student.
I was doing a respiratory system examination on this guy who frequently(about once a month) gets admitted to the general ward with complaints of breathlessness. He’s had COPD for a couple of years.
Quite bad.
And he tells me that he isn’t going to quit smoking because ‘God’ told him not to. When asked why, he tells me that the people who are relying on him for their daily livelihood won’t survive if he stops. I went on to ask him if he meant the people at the cigarette factory or the health industry. He didn’t get the sarcasm, though.
A patient comes to the surgery clinic with complaints of mass per rectum. (Now, I wasn’t there the first time he came). However, the surgeon wanted to do a couple of investigations and advised him to get admitted. The guy decided he didn’t want to. A couple of months later, he came back to the clinic.
Apparently, he went to one of these alternative medicine places or whatever, and they had tied this metal wire(not exactly sure why) around the mass. By then, this mass had eroded through it and was bleeding, and had gotten much bigger.
Turned out to be a cancerous growth.
SomeYorktown
25. Positive Tests
Not a doctor, but I am a medical technologist. There are plenty of “I am very smart” moments, but this one was recent.
Did a fingerstick for a patient, ensured the little cut stopped bleeding, and then put a band-aid on it. Told her to collect a urine sample for testing. The test came back strongly positive (4+ reading) for blood.
She complained to the doctor that there was NO WAY she had blood in her urine and that the blood from her fingerstick must have entered the urine, throwing off her reading. She said it was my fault that I did her blood test before her urine test, and I obviously made a mistake.
She repeated the test later in the afternoon, still at 4+. Came back a week later, still at 4+. The look on her face when I told her, "Sorry, ma'am, your result is still positive," was priceless.
EarthwormJane
26. The Smartypants
I had a patient come in with several pages he printed off the internet. He kinda slammed them down and said, “This is what I have.”
He had bloating, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, bloody stool, and fever, among other things. He insisted he had Schistosomiasis. He was a real jerkward about it, like we’re wasting time since he already knew what he had.
So, I asked when he got back from Africa. And he said, “Africa? I’ve never been to Africa. What the heck would I be doing in Africa?”
I proceeded to tell him that Schistosomiasis is a parasitic disease one gets while swimming in the Nile River or other rivers in developing countries like Southeast Asia.
He got pissed off at me because he thought I was being a smart ass. He was seen and diagnosed with gastroenteritis (the stomach flu). The bloody stool? He had hemorrhoids.
cazman123
27. Leech Dad
We had a patient come into our hospital with anorexia requiring treatment, which, as usual, she didn't want. However, she appeared to be eating her prescribed meals. After a few days, it becomes clear she's not putting on any weight, but the room is clean, and she's supervised for her bathroom visits, so we know she's not flushing it away.
It turns out her family is going through some tough times, and her dad's down on his luck and out of money. So when he's coming to visit his anorexic daughter in the hospital every day, he's eating the food prescribed to her because he can't afford to feed himself.
Meal time is unsupervised if there's a family member there. Dad was blocked from visiting when the daughter fessed up.
talon03
28. Zero Damn
I'm not an MD. I’m an RN who works with oncology (cancer) patients, some of whom are on clinical trials.
I got a patient and, before starting his chemotherapy, reviewed some of his lab work with him. I told him his glucose level was 73, which showed normal. The normal range is usually between 70-100.
He got really upset at this point and asked him,
Me: What’s wrong? Your labs are within range!
Him: I need it to be zero.
Me: What? Why would you want your glucose to be zero?
He said he’s trying to meet requirements for a new clinical trial requiring zero glucose.
Me: I don’t know what clinical trial you’re trying to get into, but if your blood glucose was zero, you’d be dead or dying.
He was not convinced because I’m “just a nurse,” so I sent a message to his MD asking them to educate their patients better.
brownskinned
29. Too Much Refusing
Paramedic here. Transported a guy who was adamant about only using homeopathic medicine, natural/healthy living, etc, and refusing meds/interventions/x-rays on this basis.
He also smoked a pack a day.
The ED doc called him on this nonsense with something along the lines of "You smoke, so you're not that homeopathic. You're getting a chest x-ray."
malibooootay
30. Low-tide IQ
I had a 350 lb patient in his late 30s, brought in by his sweet old mother because she was concerned about his recent sweats and shakes. Tell me about his high IQ of over 140. I just nodded and ordered a blood panel.
When I got back in the room with the results, he was trying to tell me how he knew more than me about everything to do with medicine. I told him I was diagnosing him with new-onset diabetes. He couldn’t tell me anything about the pathophysiology of diabetes.
Then I asked him which IQ test he had taken and how old he was when he had taken it. He said the IQ test was online a few years ago, like on Facebook. He didn’t know what a Stanford-Binet test was.
reddysettygo
31. Overly Panicking
I was treating cavities on a very nervous 4-year-old. Had finally gotten into a cooperative groove when his genius mother looked up from her phone and noticed that I was drilling teeth (she was in the room the whole time - I had reviewed treatment with her, and she knew we were fixing cavities). Proceeds to curse me out under her breath.
Mother: You're drilling holes in her teeth! This is freaking ridiculous, you people are scammers making holes in people's teeth!
Me: [trying to keep calm] Ma'am, if you have questions, I will be happy to answer after I'm finished.
I was shaking with rage at this point because she was 20 minutes late to her appointment, and I was bending over backward to make sure her kid had a good visit and didn't end up scared of the dentist.
The appointment is over. The kid jumped down high fives and gave me a big hug, and I turned to the kid’s mom and asked her how exactly she thought cavities were fixed.
She said, ‘You don't drill. My mother is a dental assistant."
I then proceeded to explain in excruciating detail the scientific process of how we remove decay. She said, "That's not true." I then told her that she could go ask her mom, ask Google, or go to dental school if she wanted to know more, but I wouldn't be treating her child anymore.
pheebers
32. Weird Hobby
I don't know if this fits perfectly, but a while back, I helped open an urgent care for the first 2 years. When we first opened the doors, one of our first customers was an 85-year-old adorable Asian lady who was really hard to understand but talked a lot.
Anyway, this lady came in for the first time complaining of stomach pain. We attempted to diagnose her with something, but nothing added up for about 30 minutes to an hour of her talking until she finally told us she just felt better... okay.
So we don't really mind it until next week around the same time she shows up again with the same problem. And guess what the solution was: about 45 minutes of listening to what she ate for dinner the last few nights.
We eventually figured out corn was messing with her, but this never deterred her from coming in more. This eventually became a once-a-week occurrence, then a once-everyday thing, until we finally started becoming a busy urgent care, and we couldn't really fit her into our schedule.
I swear this lady actually came in every day thinking she was on the verge of death until we had convinced her she was okay. In case you're wondering, I'm almost certain she's well over 90 now and still going.
squanto420sqanching
33. Felt Sketchy
Any time a patient comes in who is deathly ill and upon diagnosis, clearly needs antibiotics/cholesterol/blood pressure/etc... meds to get better, they tell me the same thing.
Patient: I'm NOT taking medicine! I know you just prescribe those because the medicine companies pay you."
Yes, sir/lady. All of these medicine companies are giving me dollar bills to put you on an antibiotic/cholesterol/blood pressure medicine, etc.
Right.
altiif
34. People Superstitions
I'm still just a medical student. Still, our hospital sees many poor and poorly educated patients since we're a big tertiary hospital in a developing country. The worst I've seen so far is the old ladies whom everyone in the family turns to for health advice, their only qualification being seniority. They usually have a bunch of superstitions that end up contributing to the patient's condition in the first place.
I once saw a neonate brought to the ER for a really bad oral infection.
The mother clearly hadn't taken a bath since the delivery (it's a common superstition here that mothers shouldn't take a bath a week or so postpartum), so we figured that was the source of the infection.
While assessing the patient, the doting grandmother in the background decides she has to comment on everything we're doing (remember, she's probably the one who advised her daughter not to bathe).
I just had to shut her down because A) It was late, and people were running out of patience in our understaffed, under-equipped ER; B) They're more worried that pulse oximetry is hurting the baby's tiny widdle toes when there's freaking pus leaking out of the baby's very inflamed salivary glands.
Doctor_Doo
35. A ‘Smart’ Lady
Poor old man with an unresectable brain tumor (glioblastoma) was in the ICU after surgery to debulk the tumor. His family included a pediatrician and a cath lab technician.
The pediatrician's daughter kept trying to get us to give the patient some homeopathic BS "medicine" that she brought with her.
Daughter: I work at Harvard, and we use it all the time there. I'm surprised you don't have it here.
I seriously doubted she was truthful about where she worked, and I 100% guarantee that if she worked at any reputable practice, they were not treating kids with whatever crock homeopathic BS she was pushing on us.
[deleted]
36. Patient Theory
A patient with HIV verging on AIDS who did not want to take medications for it.
Instead, he insisted that an alkaline diet and antioxidants would cure him because he believed "germs can't live in the presence of oxygen."
What antioxidants and alkalinity have to do with increasing the oxygen in his body? Can someone explain it? Lol, I don't understand.
BetelguesePDX
37. Test Says It All
Physical therapist here. I love the macho Hulkians who come in for shoulder pain with giant pecs and arms.
NO back muscles.
Hand them our pink one-pound weights, and they laugh and think I'm an idiot. Make them hold this position for one minute with the weights.
They want to cry because it's so hard.
BagelsToGo
38. Drunk Babies
Not a "doctor"; I'm a doctor of pharmacy, and sometimes it can confuse people who may think I'm a medical doctor. Anyway, this story happened a few weeks ago.
Had an OB nurse call me to talk to a family about vitamin K shots. These are given to newborns to prevent hemorrhages and excess bleeding. Now, there is some controversy regarding the practice of giving vitK, and it is kinda similar to the anti-vax movement.
That's not why the parents were concerned. They read online the shot contains benzyl alcohol. Benzyl alcohol is not uncommon to have in some injections because it inhibits microbial growth to keep it sterile. It is very dangerous for newborns and is never in injections meant for them.
The parents didn't know that part. They were upset because they thought that the alcohol was equivalent to giving the baby a full beer and would make it drunk.
The parents were in their 40's.
PhairPharmer
39. Worst Alternative
I had a morbidly obese patient referred to me for back pain. His MRI showed mostly degenerative changes and nothing yet surgical. I told him he needed to lose weight.
Patient: My regular doctor told me the same thing. Really got on me for my drinking, too! Said I couldn't be going out every night after work with my friends for beer cuz it was gonna kill my liver and keep me fat.
Me: Oh? So, did you follow his advice?
Patient: Yup! Stopped drinking beer altogether. Now I bring myself a 6 pack of that Ensure stuff when we go out. My buddies gave me a hard time about it, but I told them I had to do it to lose some weight!
Yeah, a six-pack of Ensure every night is much better for your weight than a few cans of Bud Light/facepalm.
CutthroatTeaser
40. Must Change Remedy
Late to the party, but a 63-year-old Asian woman came in with a lump on her chest.
She said it had been there for 6 months, but she was treating it with Chinese medicine. She had meat 2 weeks before the visit, 'and that's why it's getting worse'...
I ask her to put on a gown, thinking I will have to examine the chest to find the lump. The lump found me. 7x 9 cm, black, red, inward nipple and raging eczema-like.
Sent her to the breast clinic urgently.
coffeeonsunday
41. Unknown Holes
911 dispatch call was transferred to EMS service.
Patient: I need an ambulance.
Me: Ok. What's the problem?
Patient: I think I have the flesh-eating bacteria.
Me: What makes you say that? Do you have any sores or anything?
Patient: I went to sleep and woke up with holes in my underwear that weren't there last night.
I'm honestly not sure how the EMT operator kept it together on that one.
squeakylittlecat
42. King of Tantrums
It happened almost a year ago. I just finished my MBBS, and I was interning at the same hospital from which I graduated. As a part of our internship program, I was posted in a small clinic dealing with minor medical issues that don't require major investigations.
So, one evening, this guy walks in with a complaint of neck pain from the morning of that day. After asking a few questions, it was clear that he slept in a weird position, which was the cause of the pain.
I tried to explain to him that the pain was temporary and there really was no need for him to take any medication (It was a govt. clinic, and we were running short of supplies). But the guy was adamant on getting a medication. So, I prescribed a painkiller, and since this particular painkiller was known to cause gastritis, I also prescribed ranitidine (sold by a popular brand name called Rantac in India) as well.
This guy knew that rantac was something that doctors prescribe for stomach pain. And he had no idea what the other medicine did. But once he saw that I had prescribed it rantac, he threw the prescription literally on the floor and started to complain to the nurse that we (my friend and I) didn't know anything and that we had been prescribed medicine for stomach pain when his complaint was neck pain.
I turned to the nurse and just explained to her why I did what I did, and once he heard that he silently took his prescription and walked away from there.
Anudeep_C_Kode
43. Might Change Methods
Not a doctor, but I work in pharmacy. An old guy who had gotten an inhaler prescribed by his GP because he was allergic to his new dog. He came back to the pharmacy and said he was still completely breathless around the dog despite using the inhaler four times a day.
On further question, it transpired that four times a day, he was spraying the dog's coat with the ventolin inhaler four times a day.
Another gentleman complained that he was in excruciating pain when inserting his suppositories and physically couldn't get them into his back.
It turned out he wasn't taking them out of the wrapper, which is normally made from really tough foil or plastic.
Ouch!
Fudball1
44. Just Accept The Fact
A 60-some y/o pancreatic cancer patient wanted to be treated with herbs and natural medicine instead of having the Whipple surgery she needed that could save her life.
She let it progress while continuing to have it "treated" by her natural medicine doctor.
Finally, she came around after a few months (she's lucky she survived) and went to the operating room. Still, immediately after surgery and through discharge from the hospital, she was trying to stay off the bowel regimen and other medications usually given after this type of surgery.
[deleted]
45. Not Much Time To Blame
Medical student here.
I was clerking a patient who told me her lung cancer wasn’t due to the 60+ cigarettes she had been smoking since adolescence. Rather, it was due to a knock she received by stumbling into her car door.
Her logic was that the tumor was at the same corresponding spot in her lung to where she bumped her chest.
She was convinced we were wrong about the cause.
sksol