Caught Pants Down: These Cheaters Did Not Expect to be Caught the Way They Were

1. At the front of my door

June 1, 2018. It was a normal Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for a company that was coming to stay the weekend before the doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair.

He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd done.

On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.

So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was on December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.


2. The Betrayal I Caught on My Wife's Phone

I caught my wife after she passed away from cancer. It was the worst feeling ever. I was caught between unending love, mourning and absolute anger. Her phone that she was overly protective of is how I found out. 

A week before she passed, I took the passwords off her phone so I could respond to her texts and take care of her business. After she passed maybe a week or two after I explored her phone and found numerous texts, emails and sexting.


3. My husband and his nanny

My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, they still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex mother-in-law’s house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly, I agreed. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. 

To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.


4. Betrayed on my Birthday

I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday. I was young at the time and reacted with crying and yelling. 

If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave. No point in trying to mend the relationship because it's near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.


5. The Betrayal That Slowly Unfolded

It wasn’t a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she’d cancel plans at the last second or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she’d get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic) or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her.

I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her.

I confronted her the next day. She denied it with tears and begging. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. He had no idea I existed so he dumped her too.

Last I heard she’s an EMT in Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.


6. Caught at Night

I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in... I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room... literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. 

I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying with his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later… it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.


7. Permission to commit adultery

My Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man.  She was shocked when I said I don't support it, and she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues). She did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. Because of this, two marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged.

Little devastated at first.  Blessing in disguise.


8. Husband’s manipulation and infidelity

My (now ex) husband demanded constant access to all of my social media and cell phone messages and was constantly accusing me of cheating even though he had no reason to think I would do that. I had nothing to hide. I never even thought of cheating. I was watching our young kids 24-7 and didn't even have transportation since he "accidentally" totalled my car. One day I handed over my phone for him to check for other men and asked to see his. He hesitated but then handed it over. 

There was a long, sexual, text history with one of the teenage girls who work for him. He tells me he's in love with her and wants her to move in with us. I was in total shock and dropped his phone cracking it. He retaliated by breaking my laptop. He's a wonderful man and I miss him every day, sarcasm.


9. I wasn’t a real man to her

I didn't catch her, she told me she cheated. She also told me I wasn't a real man, and that was why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, and went on to why I'm worthless. She pulled over, kicked me out of the car and I had to walk back to my place.

As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things. This was a while ago now and I'm definitely in a much better place in my life.


10. Friends hurt you the most

I went to bed and left my husband and a mutual (female) friend downstairs drinking. I then went down to say one last goodnight, and they were out at the back smoking. 

I opened the back door, and they fell on top of me, clothes in the process of being removed, her lipstick all over his face and neck. We’re mid-divorce now.


11. Discovering My Partner's Double Life

I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “handsome husband and cute baby, I’m so proud”. We’d been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8. I confronted him over the phone. I had found an email from her to him 6 months before and was already suspicious, so I was digging. The other woman is 10 years younger than me and a home wrecker. When he chose me over her (I was dumb enough to try to make it work for the kids), she lost her marbles and became boil a bunny crazy, stalked my kids and me, made stuff up about me online, and called my kids rats using their full names.

Then he knocked her up a second time and I left. We had nothing but the kids, literally. He had blown through all our money, we didn’t even have a home. We left 4 years ago and the kids and I are a tight little posse. The best part is, I have them 100% and don’t need to share them on holidays.

This is the very very shortened version. Police were involved, lots of lawyers, and so on. I survived it yet, but I am not yet thriving. It takes a long time to recover from narcissistic abuse, and my focus has been on my kids (8 &10 years when we left). It’s been a long road for them as well.


12. Everyone knew the truth except me

I was in the Navy and was out on deployment for 6 months after just recently getting engaged (it's one of those stupid things that young military guys do). One day i get a letter from my fiance's best friend telling me that she caught my fiancee and her BF together (this was years before email and smartphones were common). We write back and forth several times and eventually it comes out how she caught them, how my fiancee begged her not to tell me, and that the fiancee didn't know that we were corresponding.

I eventually got back to the States and planned to play it off as though I didn't know, but too many of my friends intercepted me with the news that it wasn't just the one guy, but several, and let me know that she knew that I was aware. Eventually we met, and the confrontation was minimal and tame. We broke off the engagement without a lot of drama, but she kept the ring.

The best friend and I ended up hooking up, at first as sort of a revenge kinda thing, but turned serious.


13. The Betrayal that Haunted Me for Years

I was at work and tried to call my boyfriend, but he wasn’t answering even after a few hours, and I just got a horrible feeling. It stressed me out so badly for some reason that I started to cry and my boss let me go home. The whole way home I just kept feeling serious dread. I walked into the house and my bedroom, and he was laying in bed half-clothed with some naked chick.

A huge blowup went down, and after everything settled, this jerk tried to tell me that he went to the movies alone and met her there and she “followed him home.” Like, even if I believe that this person just followed you home and got naked, you let her do it, so what’s the purpose of saying that to me?  It was a terrible abusive relationship, and it didn’t even end then. I eventually broke up with him but not on the spot as I should have. If I could change anything about my life, it would be that I wish I broke up with that guy sooner. That was over ten years ago though!


14. Heartbreak at the Beach

I was dating a girl during college. Took her on a vacation to the beach where I had planned on proposing to her as we had been together 4+ years. While she was in the shower, I checked her phone looking for something. I saw several pictures of her making out with someone from her college. It had apparently been happening for several months.

It was an awkward drive home for sure. I dropped her off at the airport the day after ending things. She ended up becoming an anti-vax and essential oils believer so I dodged a bullet there.


15. The Ex Who Led Me to My Blessings

My ex thought he had deleted the texts. I didn’t usually go through his phone at all, but I had this suspicion that he was seeing someone else based on his behaviour, hiding his phone, and staying later at work. I was really hurt, but mostly angry at myself for being stupid enough to date him. I had been warned he was no good but I wanted to fix him, and I ended up getting hurt just like all the others.

My reaction was initially asking him for an explanation. He tried to cover it and lied to my face. I immediately told him to get the heck out of my house and so he did. He responded to this by saying some very personal things about me on Twitter. It was a really bad time for me, and I hadn’t done anything wrong.

But I picked myself up, got the courage to apply for a job at a larger company a few hours away, and ended up moving to a bigger city. It was there that I met my now husband.

A couple of years later, when I was first dating my now husband, he messaged me trying to make amends and said he missed me. I ignored it, and honestly, it felt so good to be able to say no to him.

I’m blessed actually, he sprung me forward and helped me more than he knows. Because if that hadn’t happened, I don’t think I would have applied for that job, would not have left my hometown, and I don’t think I would have met my husband. Universe has a funny way of making things work out, in the end.


16. My Journey of Betrayal and Healing

It was a long-term relationship for 3 years. I took him to the hospital because he had unknown rashes on him. Long story short, he was diagnosed with syphilis. 

I was tested and was not positive (I have no idea how I dodged that). I got treated anyway. I was so stupid in my early twenties.


17. The Painful Truth

My first long-term girlfriend and I were going to go to the same college. I got accepted but had to start the semester after she did, meaning we would be slightly long-distance for a few months.

It wasn't too bad because we were only about 2 hours apart so it was pretty easy to visit, but our relationship did struggle a bit. I remember one night I got a phone call from her and when I picked up it was obvious it was a butt dial. I could hear her talking to some guy, but couldn't make out what they were saying. I called her, she picked up and I asked what was up. She said she was in bed and about to go to sleep. I told her about the butt dial and she said it was her friend Jack, who I had met, asking to borrow something. I thought it was odd but brushed it off.

A couple of weeks later I was up there visiting her and I met a bunch of cool people, including this guy Luke. After I got back from visiting I get a Facebook message from him saying, "Look man I hate to be the one to say this, but I think you're an awesome guy and you don't deserve this to be happening to you. She's been cheating on you with this guy pretty soon after she started here."

I was devastated, but I had to hear it from her, so I called her and said, "Are you cheating on me?" She gave a heavy sigh and said, "Well, at least I don't have to lie anymore." That guy's voice I had heard wasn't Jack, it was the guy she was cheating on me with, I just trusted her so much that I took her word for it.

Even though it was painful, I was grateful for Luke sending me that message. What's funny is that most of the people I met up there that were her friends and they sided with me after the breakup, so when I started going there that next semester I had a group of friends to support me and most of them are still very close friends of mine to this day.


18. Betrayal at the Birthday Dinner

He had the audacity to sext this woman at my dad's birthday dinner at the table. He had her name saved as "Sam", which was a work friend of his. I assumed he and Sam weren't texting this way. I made him come talk to me outside and he lied saying it was an old girlfriend from high school who was going through a divorce and needed comfort. I knew this was a lie because he had no girlfriends in high school. I started crying and he told me to stop crying. 

That was when I knew our marriage was over. How dare he be so callous to me when I just found out that he was cheating on me? Come to find out he had been sexting random women and hiring prostitutes. We've been officially divorced for about 2.5 months now and today would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. Today sucks.


19. Finding out in My Third Trimester

I found out when I was in my third trimester with our son. I had a weird feeling about how he had been acting lately, nothing that stood out, just a feeling. We were getting ready to go on a date. He was getting in the shower and hesitated to put his phone down in front of me, I instantly knew.

In all of our years together I had never looked through his phone or I would have found out much sooner. He had a friends-with-benefit situation for ten years with a married woman whom he had known since high school. 


20. A Satisfying Revenge

He was overcompensating when we were having sex with new styles and adventures in the bedroom. One day he slipped up by connecting my laptop to his phone and I saw the text messages. I hired a private investigator to get pictures and consulted a lawyer.

When I confronted him with the evidence, He was shellshocked. We had an at-fault divorce. He lost almost everything, the cars, houses and joint accounts. We don't talk unless my alimony is late. I moved to a different state in case he becomes vengeful and decides to hurt me.


21. The Truth Uncovered

My wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone.

I'm not dumb. I bought a voice-activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.


22. The shock when I was told alpha males don’t apologize

I looked at his phone when it went off and saw it was a young girl. A typical conversation like “hey how was your day? Haven’t seen you in a while” sort of stuff. When he came back and I asked him, he blew up and began yelling at me that I was invading his space and he has a right to talk to whomever he wants. He ran out and deleted the messages. I followed and asked if that was his dealer since I thought he was planning to relapse into heroin. He was still super defensive and began arguing with me in front of his sister and her boyfriend so I got up and left.

This went on for a few weeks and I just wanted us to go back to normal. He admitted he cheated and all I wanted was an apology. Our final phone conversation was me saying, “Please just apologize. You don’t even have to mean it, I just want us back together again!” (Mind you, I was not in a good place emotionally and self-esteem-wise). Divine intervention must have struck me because his response was, “I’m an alpha male, and alpha males do what they want.” And I was so blown away by how far I’d fallen in respecting myself that my first thought was, “Well you alpha single now.”

I do regret looking at his phone, but I don’t regret that it pushed me out of a failing relationship.


23. Betrayal Unleashed My Fury

I caught my ex cheating with our neighbour about 5 years ago. He had been hiding his phone screen when I would walk by. She even had the nerve to knock on our door once and ask if she could borrow him for some construction work she couldn’t finish. He was gone for like an hour. Then he forgot his phone at home one day so I checked it out. He had been sending her “good morning beautiful” and “good night” texts every day for months. When I’d go to work he would text and say I was gone and they needed a “Jeep date” which was code for “let’s go screw in your Jeep”

I went outside and waited for her to get home where I was ready to drown her in a freaking puddle, unfortunately for me, she had her twin boys with her. I never exacted my revenge on that woman. I just told her she’s lucky her kids are stopping me from curb-stomping mommy. He sped home when he realized his phone was with me, ran up to the front door where I was waiting, and I used his forward momentum to help me break his nose.


24. The Cowardly Boyfriend

He brought a girl to my work, while I was working. He was a person who had a hard time being physical with others, but his hand was on her lower back and he was rubbing it. He kept pulling her close in a type of side-hug. He'd been ghosting me for about two weeks at that time, and he knew my work schedule. After two weeks of no contact, but the second I texted him to go off about what he'd just done, he learned how to use his phone again.

I honestly think he was too much of a coward to break up with me, which was incredibly insulting since we were both coming from long-term relationships where our exes had cheated on us.


25. Cheated on in Nebraska

I visited my long-distance boyfriend over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends. I hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn’t like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he’d called her the same pet names he called me and he’d call her the most beautiful woman after she’d send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me.

He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, and he continued seeing her and having sex, gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him. After 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him. No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.


26. Betrayal in the Aftermath of Heartbreak

I didn’t find out till after we broke up, but it’ll feel good to get this out. We were on the rocks after four years together. Mostly because he was a lazy piece of crap who couldn’t hold down a job. We finally got sick of each other, broke it off, and he was FINALLY gonna move out. I relied heavily on our (previously) mutual friend, who “took my side” in the breakup. That is, she took me out for drinks, we were working out together, and basically doing the post-breakup girl stuff.

He finally had the guts to tell me to stop hanging out with her because they had slept together. Multiple times over a few months, while we were still dating and “working on things”. Not great to have my trust betrayed by two people. But, I was honestly more upset at her being two-faced because I had already decided that he was garbage and wouldn’t waste any more tears on him.


27. Overprotective Phone

He wouldn’t let me do anything on his phone without him pulling up whatever I needed for me. If I needed a flashlight, he made sure to pull it up for me first. He also would angle his phone away from me while using it. So one night while he was sleeping, as invasive as it is, I went through his phone. 

He had been sending nudes to random people. My heart immediately dropped and I couldn’t breathe. I woke him up and I think I screamed at him. I don’t remember much of anything between waking him up and crying myself to sleep.


28. My Revenge on the Cheater

I had told him I’d be at his place at noon to do laundry (in my machines). I got there, unlock the door, and the chain was latched. I called and texted several times before getting fed up. I guess he never realized that the chain was useless because all I had to do was slide it up to unhook it.

Walked into his dark apartment and saw a purple water bottle and her purse on the couch. I knew instantly what I was going to find in his bedroom. I’d had a feeling for months that something was going on and this was the proof I needed. I felt overwhelming relief. I started recording on my phone as I walked down the hall, opened the bedroom door, and flipped on the lights. They were snuggled together under my blanket, asleep. They woke up and she smiled at me like a cat that had caught the canary before covering her head with the blanket. He glared at me and rolled over.

I shut the lights off, grabbed my stuff, and went back to my car. The three of us worked together (they’re night shift) and I sent the video to everyone in our department before I left the parking lot. He assumed I was too meek to retaliate so he had one hell of a surprise Monday afternoon when he strolled into work.

I found out that day, from his mother, that I was not the first woman he’s done this to. It was actually so bad in his hometown, that he had been forced to move across the state to get away from the death threats and angry husbands. It would have been nice if she had warned me before it happened to me too.


29. A video game made him forget

This happened a few years ago. I was hanging out with my boyfriend at the time and he had gotten a text while he was playing a video game and asked me to check it. 

When I opened up his messages, I saw a few messages from other girls he was messaging. My only regret was wasting a year of my youth with him.


30. A Fresh Start Gone Wrong

I moved across the country with my girlfriend to start anew. New job, new city, a fresh beginning since we hadn’t been getting along for some time. On the first full day we were there, I was getting ready for my first day and my new job. Her phone was vibrating a ton on the bed and she was downstairs. I looked to see if it was her mom and if everything was okay. It was a text from someone named “Birdie” who I’d never heard of. I opened it up and found she was sexting with some dude she met in a bird-watching class. I had to pull myself together, go to work (I didn’t have time to deal with this before work started) and then have this sitting on my head all day. Finally, I texted her and told her, I saw your texts, we are through, pack all of your stuff, I’m flying you back home tonight. My phone rang constantly for the next 45 mins. Finally, I excused myself for an early lunch and went back to the place we were staying to pick her up. She was a mess but her bags were packed. She pleaded. I drove us to the airport. 

$750 on a one-way ticket back home, which would also be followed up by shipping her car home as well as a bunch of her stuff that was being shipped. She pleaded at the airport. I held my ground and she got on the plane. She called me 2 hours later from a connecting flight telling me that it got cancelled and she was stuck. I checked the airline and the flight was on time as scheduled. It was good riddance. I’m pretty sure she never told her family the truth so I’m sure they hate me and think I did this on purpose. Either way, I met the girl of my dreams and it all worked out.