Just like anything else, friendship is not a fixed phenomenon. Try as we might to halt it, the dynamics of a friendship continue to evolve. Sometimes, this evolution is positive and necessary, but other times, you may notice that the quality of the friendship just isn't the same anymore. It’s important to recognize when it’s time to step back and accept that you've outgrown the friendship when the purpose it once served in your life has reached its course. If you’re not quite sure what outgrowing a friendship looks like, then here are points for you to reflect on.
The Friendship Feels Stagnant
Initially, when a friendship starts, both of you will flourish together in terms of personal or even professional growth due to the advice that you would have shared among yourself. This will help give the friendship a purpose, making it sustainable. However, if you now notice that instead of moving towards any direction in the friendship, you now feel stuck, it may be that you have outgrown the friendship. If your conversations, interactions or the activities you did together are now monotonous then it may be a cause for concern. When the interactions between you and your friend now lack depth, your friendship may have run its course and it may be time for you to make changes respectfully ( even if it means waving goodbye at your friendship).
You Start Avoiding Them
Friendship is supposed to be a beautiful phenomenon that gets you excited every time you make plans to spend time together. However, if you find yourself not looking forward to spending time with your friends anymore, there's a problem. This is because when you start avoiding someone you once enjoyed spending time with, it can be a clear indicator that something has shifted in terms of how you feel about them. So if you start cancelling plans with your friends continuously, mainly because you don't enjoy their company as much, it may just be your brain registering that you are not as happy as you used to be in the friendship or that the friendship no longer serves you and as such, it is time to move on.
You Feel Exhausted By Them
It’s one thing to have arguments with your friends once in a while and feel like you don't want to see them or even be annoyed with them for some time. However, if you reach a point where they now exhaust you and you feel completely drained by them, it may be worth your time to look into the situation. You should not feel like you have to put on an act when you are spending time with your friends. You should enjoy it and if you find that you don't enjoy it anymore, then it may be time for you to let go of the friendship for your own sanity and mental health.
Your Values Aren't Aligned Anymore
As people grow, so do their values and beliefs. If you find that your core values no longer align with those of your friend, it can be a very big problem. For instance, if you used to be addicted to drugs or other substances, then work on yourself and aren't in the same space of mind anymore, do you think if you maintain the same friends you used to indulge the habit with, you will yield any good results? Chances are, it probably won't. This is because your perspectives and priorities have shifted and this will cause a disconnect in your friendship, making it wiser for you to let go of that friendship as you have outgrown it.
You Are Now Uncomfortable
Your friendships should make you feel at peace and comfortable. This is to say that every activity you do together, even if it may just be watching a movie in silence, won't feel tense but it will feel fulfilling. So, when you feel like you now have to walk around eggshells with your friends, and if you now hold back on telling them the things that are going on in your life, it may be a clear sign that you have outgrown the friendship. If you don't feel safe and free anymore, it’s worth reflecting on whether this friendship is still beneficial to your well-being.
The Friendship Gives You Negative Vibes
One thing about people is that we assimilate the traits of the people that we keep around us and other energy can easily become ourThisgy as well. This is why you need to stay away from negativity, as it is contagious and will engulf you. If your friend now gives you negative vibes and instead of being optimistic about life, you start having a negative outlook on it, then you may have to stay for your benefit. Furthermore, if they bring you down and demean your access, that environment is not one you should stay in anymore. You need to move away from that friendship, to make room for your growth because it will not be able to contain it.
Unresolved Tensions
It's an inevitable fact that you and your friend will find yourselves in conflicts once in a while. However, a lucrative friendship will address and resolve the issues, so that you can get over things more healthily. If, in contrast, your friendship is built on tones of unresolved feelings, you need to pull yourself out of this toxicity and reevaluate whether this is a healthy friendship for you. Sometimes, if you can't fix things, then letting go might be the best thing for that friendship.