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These People Messed Up So Bad, It’s Funny And Sad At The Same Time

Everyone makes mistakes, big or small. After all, we’re only human, and if you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything.

These people, however, screwed up so badly that they never fully recovered from the incident. 

From work incidents to relationship problems, these Reddit stories will send shivers down your spine!

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1. Worst Hookup Ever

This actually happened about a month ago, but I needed to recover mentally first.

I (24) temporarily moved back home for the summer after graduating college.

One night I was bored, and I went on Tinder, I matched with an older guy (37), but he was pretty good-looking, and we actually got along well.

The next day, we decided to meet up. I felt like I recognized him from somewhere, but it’s a fairly small town, so I didn’t think much of it.

We met up at a local bar, and well, one thing led to another, and we ended up hooking up in the back of his car.

I was leaving the next week, so I didn’t really care what happened. The next day is the only Sunday my mom has had off since I’ve been there, and she wants us all to go to church.

Guess who’s doing the sermon that day? He immediately recognizes me, and we make awkward eye contact for a second.

Then it hits me. He. Was. My. Youth. Pastor. I hadn’t seen him in almost a decade. I have no idea if he knew who I was right away or not, and I’d rather not know.

I left in a hurry after the service. Oh, and I found out later he was married. So there’s that.

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2. Book Lover

My dad loves reading books. His love for books is on the same level as his boomerism when it comes to computers and everything to do with them.

I always remember him reading one of his paperbacks. He goes through several books a month.

After he stopped working, the full reading potential became unleashed. It didn’t take him long to notice that digital copies are not really any cheaper than physical ones.

That did not sit well with him. Also, downloading the pdf proved to be difficult for him. I mentioned that there are places on the internet where I get my books from that don’t cost much money.

Actually, they are free. And since my country is dragging its feet, it’s not even illegal.I should’ve known by the happy face of my dad what was going to happen.”Can you download this book for me?” he asked.

I found it and sent it. Remember when I said he is going through a lot of books? It is about one every second day. How do I know? Because now I get bugged every other day, like clockwork, to go find and download yet another story for my lovely dad.

Then, the old man got himself a tablet (because Laptops are too heavy) and realized he could read on that too! And he doesn’t even have to drive to the bookstore or wait for his new fix to be delivered! What a great time we live in.

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3. Naked Woman

When I was in second grade, I came across a picture of a woman that was topless. In my young, adolescent mind, I thought it was a good idea to take it to school and tell all my friends that the woman in the picture topless was my mother.

I realized I had made a huge mistake when I was in the principal’s office shortly after. Still cringe thinking about it to this day. However, my dad gets a good laugh out of it every time.

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4. My Last Day As A Waiter

I worked in a nice steakhouse. The first week, I accidentally put salt in the sugar bowls and sugar in the salt shakers.

Customers started to complain about their sweet steaks and salty coffees. We had to pull all the salt and sugar from each table. My last day as a waiter.

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5. Bad Idea

I skipped class (once) in Grade 10, but I didn’t think through how the spot I was sitting at was entirely visible to my class (the cafeteria was surrounded by huge windows and overlooked several classrooms).

The teacher sent the entire class to corner me in the cafeteria so I couldn’t escape, and he proceeded to humiliate and yell at me. I was absolutely mortified.

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6. I Peed Myself

When I was in elementary school, my friends and I were playing hide and seek at one of their houses. While in my hiding spot, I really had to pee.

The guy who was searching for us must have heard me shaking my legs while trying to hold in my pee and jumped into my hiding spot to scare me. I pissed myself.

I ran home in shame and tears, but no one ever mentioned it again. Thanks, guys.

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7. Left-Handed Vs. Right-Handed

As a kid, I was left-handed. So I tried to deride this kid who was right-handed by saying, “No one writes with their right hand, you’re so weird.”

Turns out, the whole class was right-handed. It was so embarrassing.

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8. $10,000 In Damage

I worked at Aldi and was throwing the truck (stocking) one morning. The night before, I was out late and running on about 4 hours of sleep.

I went into the back room and used the pallet stacker to grab my next pallet. Well, I picked it up and then proceeded to take it to the floor and forgot to lower it.

I hit the door frame pretty hard with the top of the jack. Did about $10,000 in damage and luckily wasn’t fired.

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9. One Gallon Of Apple Juice

Ever since I was a small boy, I have enjoyed the taste of fresh apple juice. Knowing this, my mother bought gallon bottles of it even though she did not enjoy it.

One day, being the big boy (age 6) I thought I was, I decided I was going to have a glass of apple juice without asking her to pour the heavy bottle. Miraculously, I poured myself a glass without incidence and proceeded to imbibe it.

“That was great!” I thought to myself. So I decided to have another…and another…and before I knew it, I had drank an entire gallon of sweet, acidic apple juice. Within 10 minutes, the fire of an entire apple orchard erupted from within my gut.

“I’ve made a huge mistake,” I thought as I collapsed to the floor. I was violently ill for almost three days with severe acidosis. How a small child drank one gallon of apple juice, I will never know.

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10. Wrong Person

I was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn’t get a seat next to me and had to sit directly behind me.

.During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling.

Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, “I just wanted to see how far you’d go.” 

Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. I was so embarrassed.

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11. The Cleaning Lady Caught Me

I thought I was the only one at work one early morning. There was zero chance any other worker would be there for hours. I was listening to loud music on my headphones.

Had to fart. Did it. Loud, vibrating, juicy one. I turned around in my chair to see the overnight cleaning lady standing right behind me. She looked quite ill.

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12. Impersonating My Boss At Work

Doing an impersonation of my boss, and the other employees were cracking up because I was so good at it.

Then, he was suddenly standing behind us. He never liked me after that, and two months later, I was one of four people who got “laid off.

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13. So Embarrassing 

We had a project in 5th grade where we had to present detailed information about anything. I chose Africa for some reason.

After procrastinating up until the night before, I bought the biggest poster board I could find, slapped a map of Africa into the middle of it (white paper on a whiteboard, covering like 5% of the board), and called it a day.

After 15 years, I still think about it every now and then and burn up in shame.

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14. Teamwork

Lost my folder with a group assignment, and I had to redo the work again. We spent almost a month preparing it, lost in a matter of seconds, I did the whole thing in a week and a half.

When I gave my friends their parts, they were like, “WTF, this isn’t my writing, dude, what the hell this is not what I have been studying” kinda stuff. I went full depressed after the whole thing, but we got a solid A.

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15. The Boss Found It Funny

I was a bartender. I knocked down the entire top shelf. Thousands of dollars in liquor. I didn’t get in trouble.

The boss just built a stronger shelf. He found it HILARIOUS that the only thing I saved was a $6 bottle of Sloe Gin that happened to be on the wrong shelf.

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16. My First Period

My first period happened in my first year of middle school. I went to the bathroom and saw all the blood, and I freaked out because I knew what they were, but I didn’t really understand it at the time. Ya know? I stayed in the bathroom crying because I thought I was dying.

My teacher came to get me thinking I was skipping, and I cried to her, saying I was bleeding internally. I don’t know what I said exactly.

She sighed and explained it in layman’s terms for me and escorted me to the nurses to get a new pair of pants and underwear. My classmates bullied me for it for at least three months…

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17. Hunter S. Thompson 

My teachers in high school noticed my writing ability, and one of them called up the local newspaper to suggest I become one of their teen writers.

So, a lady from the paper calls me at home, out of the blue (whichever one of my teachers recommended me didn’t give me any warning), and asks me, “Do you want to write for us?” and I’m like, “Oh, yes, please! This is a miracle. I can’t believe you’re calling me. Yes, yes, by all that is holy, let my resume grow!” and she’s like, “What’s your writing style like?” and because I’d literally just read Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, I said, “Oh, you know, I write like Hunter S. Thompson, very vivid, very descriptive.”

At the time (1995), I was not aware of Thompson’s full bio, nor his well-documented relationship with drugs, and his turbulent relationship with reality.

The lady from the paper instantly says, “Oh no, we can’t have that. Goodbye.” And she hung up on me. Just like that. I’m convinced that in an alternate timeline, I’m a successful writer instead of a career nobody.

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18. “Okay”

Unexpectedly walked past my at-the-time girlfriend, who kissed me on the cheek and said. “I love you!” I was taken by surprise, not expecting to see her that early in the morning, and said, “Okay.” What I meant to say was, “I love you too!”

Needless to say, she was pissed and stormed off. Her friend just stood there and looked at me like I was the dumbest man alive, which I was. After realizing what I had done, I had to chase her down the hall and apologize profusely.

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19. I’ll Never Forget This Day

I was waiting for a friend to arrive at my home. Said friend was having a severe cold, so when the doorbell rang, I ran to open the door and jokingly pulled my shirt up so it would cover my nose and mouth to prevent infection.

I pulled a little too high. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I opened the door to a baffled salesman with my boobs hanging out.

He blushed. I blushed. We stared at each other for a second before I closed the door and hid in the darkest corner of my house.

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20. Cat Allergy

So I always wanted a cat, and I wanted this specific breed. I really liked how the purebred ones looked, so for like 3 years, I begged and begged my mom for a cat. She said yes earlier this year, and I was so happy!

 I remember at one point, I was talking to my mom’s boyfriend about cats and how he would react if we ever got one, and he mentioned how he was allergic to cats and really hated them.

I didn’t think it would be a big deal that we were getting a cat, so I didn’t mention it to him that we were actually getting one. He doesn’t live in our house, so I didn’t really care.

So yaddah yaddah, I found a breeder, got in contact with them, got my mom to pay the $100 deposit, and we waited until August to pick up the kitten.

She cost $2000, so my mom had to save up for like 2 months for her, and we drove to Canada to pick her up, so it was an awesome road trip (16 hours in total over the span of 4 days).

So my mom’s boyfriend recently found out that we got a kitten, and he got super upset and started arguing with my mom asking to get rid of it and how he thought she knew he was allergic because of the conversation we had, and then now my mom is upset at me for not mentioning it to her.

So now my mom is threatening to get rid of the kitten because of how upset her boyfriend is getting over it. Like he’s literally throwing a big fit he isn’t even that allergic.

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21. Once At The Movie Theater 

Concessions at a movie theater. I was making popcorn, but I had learned that if we used a bit more seasoning and oil, the popcorn tasted insanely better.

What I didn’t know was the popcorn machine had broken earlier and wasn’t stirring the popcorn anymore. 

So after I had made a new batch, and no popcorn was coming out, I decided to check on the machine, and a hot glob of oil flew into my eye.

Started cussing and screaming in front of a whole bunch of customers and got rushed into the back to wash my eye out.

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22. Wrong Location

So two weeks ago, my boss called me at my desk. And it went like this:Boss: “So, Mike, I’m in Greenville, NC.”Me: “Yes.”Boss: “You were supposed to send me to Greenville, SC.”Me: “Uhhhh…I don’t know what to say right now except sorry.”I sent my boss to the wrong state because I didn’t realize there was a Greenville, NC, and a Greenville, SC.

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23. Fun Car Ride With The Boss

I had a temporary moment of insanity and jumped out of my boss’ work van while he was driving it.

Smashed my head on the road and nearly bled out. The ambulance drove me to the hospital. We’re still good friends. Basically, what caused the temporary insanity is that it was really cold out, and he had the heat up insanely high in the van to the point where the air quality was bad and hot, and I basically couldn’t breathe.

We were both wearing heavy coats too. I wanted to open the windows to get some fresh air, and he wouldn’t let me. I told him I needed to get out of the van, and he didn’t care.

He told me we were heading to the job site. I warned him three times that if he didn’t park the van, I was going to jump out. He continued to refuse to park. So I kept my word, and I jumped.

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24. Hula Girl

One time in grade school, we had to wear Halloween costumes for a school play. I didn’t get the memo that it had to be a scary costume, and I showed up as a hula girl (grass shirt, coconut bra, and a lei.

I had a long-sleeved onesie on underneath). My crush took one look at me and went, “Oh my god, EW,” and the whole classroom erupted in laughter.

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25. Lighting Toilet Paper On Fire

I was using the restroom back before the “take your phone to keep you entertained” era we currently live in. yolacey

Both of my parents smoke, so there was a lighter laying on the counter. For some reason, I thought, “Well, let’s burn some stuff.”

Harmless, except for when I got the brilliant idea to just light a little bit of the dangling toilet paper on fire. Then came the moment, “I have made a severe mistake!

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26. Gravy Cake

Came home drunk and decided to make myself a nice cheese omelet once. It tasted pretty bad, and I realized I forgot to take the plastic wrapping off the cheese before I grated it.

Also once made a chocolate cake, but instead of using cocoa powder, I used gravy powder. 0/10 would do it again.

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27. I Fell In The Ice Maker

I worked at a McDonald’s and accidentally fell in the ice maker right at the beginning of my shift. They had to close the restaurant for the rest of the day to dump out and sanitize the machine.

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28. Saying Sorry To The Pole

Walked into a pole, hard, with all my school nearby (it was the end of school). I was by myself and felt awkward already and felt the need to say, “Sorry” to the pole, and then I realized and then proceeded to say, “Wait, you’re a pole.”

Just kept my head down and walked swiftly on after that.

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29. Panic Mode

I was a nanny. A little 2-year-old I was watching fell down and hit the back of her head on the concrete. I rushed over to her, but she didn’t move or blink, just laid on her back motionless.

I tried to check for breathing and pulse and pretty much blanked on everything I’d ever learned in CPR/first aid training in my panic.She seriously looked dead. I screamed for help, the neighbors came running, and I told them to call an ambulance.

The police, fire department, and ambulance showed up within minutes. She was rushed to the hospital, and a million tests were run.

Turns out she barely even had a bruise, no concussion, no seizure, no injury, nothing. The doctor said she probably just got scared and froze for just long enough for me to lose it. Her parents were charged 5,000 dollars to tell them their child got surprised.

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30. I Caused A Fire

I used to work prep at a fairly large chain restaurant. One day, nearing lunch, I decided it would be funny to play a prank on the line cook, who was by himself for the next thirty minutes.

I set all five of our microwaves to go off at the same time. The only problem is they were empty, and I set them all for a minute each. They all caught fire. It was the first of the month Saturday.

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31. Stabbing Myself On My First Day

I was 19, and it was my first day at work as a dishwasher. They gave me the grill, which was entirely encrusted in nasty burned-on carbon, and told me to take it out back and clean it.

For about an hour, I chiseled the carbon off it with a screwdriver and a butterknife. I was almost done, but there was one bit stuck in the corner, and because I’m an idiot, I tried to get it out by chipping upward with the screwdriver.

The screwdriver slipped and continued upwards right into the tip of my nose. So I ran back into the kitchen, completely filthy and bleeding profusely from the face, and yelled, “I’M SORRY, PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME!” They were very understanding and did not fire me.

And once I got cleaned up and stopped the bleeding, it turned out I didn’t even need stitches. I ended up working there for several summers and eventually made it up to line cook.

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32. Faking Accents

I worked in a call center where I’d grow really bored of the same angry customers again and again.

So I started using accents to liven things up. Well, one day, I was sporting a rather decent Scottish accent for a string of calls when I got a little old, you guessed it, Scottish lady on the line. I panicked, and over the next 5 minutes, I slowly phased out my “t’ere’s nuthin we cahn do for yeou” into my normal, east coast USA accent.

I thought she didn’t notice, but I guess she called back and complained about how I was offensive and how I had such a terrible grasp on how to maintain a consistent accent. 

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33. Costly Mistake

Measured something on a construction site off by a foot. It wasn’t discovered until it cost $150,000 to remedy the mistake. Nothing happened to me because it was a 10 million-dollar job.

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34. Got Caught Eating Olives

I worked in a pizza place, and they caught me eating olives on camera. It wasn’t 2-3 olives, I could eat like a thousand in a shift. I really don’t know why and it’s a time in my life I want to forget.

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35. I Failed The Course

Was having a tough time trying to de-bug some coding I had in college, whatever I did, nothing seemed to work.

So I asked a buddy who took the course two years before me if I could look at his code to compare. Technically cheating, yes, I know, but I thought maybe I could learn something from it.

The thing is, I accidentally submitted HIS code, not mine. His code had notes saying his name and year…Colleges don’t like plagiarism, so I failed the course.

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36. Oops!

When I was a super shy kid in first grade, the teacher had to go to the office one time and asked the class, “Who can’t control themselves while I’m out?”.

Only I heard, “Who can control themselves,” so I immediately raised my hand. And immediately, everyone in the class and the teacher were staring at me as I realized my mistake.

“Come along with me then,” the teacher said, and I had to follow her to the office and sit there, then follow her back. I just wanted to shrink to nothing.

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37. Just Your Ordinary Work Day

I briefly worked for the city zoo. We used “carts” that were basically an ATV with a dumpable bed on them for cleaning enclosures.

Zoos are large, so we also use them just as transport. We had one with a known wonky parking brake. Maintenance had refused to replace it for months.

One day I had to park it on an incline. I kicked it after parking, didn’t budge. I turned around at least 3 times as I walked away to make sure it was still not going anywhere.

Five minutes later, I come back to hysteria. Naturally, as soon as I was gone, it had rolled down the hill and taken out half the fence to the camel ride area. Knocked some lady over (she was fine, I think she had just been knocked off balance versus full-on hit by it).

My manager wasn’t mad at all, maintenance finally gave us a new cart, but I still got written up because of the protocol.

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38. I Don’t Know How I’m Still Alive

The chef was angry that day. I was advised by my coworkers to do whatever it takes to get on his good side. I thought, “eh, I’ll just try to avoid him.”

He was standing in the cooler, taking inventory. Beside him were the 5-gallon containers of prepped food. I sneaked in and tried to quickly grab the ranch container, but in my haste, I nudged another. 

It was french onion soup. All 5 gallons of it. On his pants and shoes. Yes, he was upset. The prep girl was upset. I had 10 minutes till lunch service started. I have no idea how I’m still alive.

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39. The Pizza That Got Away

I ordered a pizza at 5 pm for it to arrive at 8 pm. The pizza arrived at 6 pm, and I was very surprised since I was wanting to delay it. But I happily ate it anyway.

8 pm came, and ANOTHER pizza guy turned up, and stupidly I told him I’d already had the delivery, so he left with a potential free pizza. I realized what I’d done as I closed the front door, but it was too late.

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40. The Cops

I was at a party, and someone said, “The cops are here!” my first reaction is to fling the second-story window open (breaking it in the process) and jump out of the window.

The inside of the house was packed, so there were dozens of people outside the house, too, so they all had a great view of me hitting the ground. There were no cops.

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41. I Pretended It Wasn’t Me

I forgot to put water in my instant macaroni, and it caught on fire in the microwave.

Orange smoke was everywhere, and the fire alarm went off. I pretended that it wasn’t me and then secretly cleaned it up when everyone had gone home.

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42. I Threw A Tantrum

I was around 7 or 8 and went to the doctor for a checkup. Then a nurse proceeded to prepare a needle to vaccinate me, which prompted me to bawl like a baby and try to storm out of the room.

They had to restrain me as I kicked my legs and flailed my arms. Turns out the shot was for a little girl younger than me sitting just nearby, as she was cracking up at me, watching me throw my tantrum.

She took the shot like it was nothing as she was still laughing while I was sniffling in shame.

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43. I Almost Died

I almost died of hypothermia. I was a bartender, and we kept a lot of drinks the guests wanted ice cold in a walk-in freezer.

So I went inside the first freezer, drinks aren’t there. Then from that first freezer, you walk into the second one. I forgot to put a stopper so the door won’t close.

I was freaking out, getting colder by the minute. I screamed, but no one could hear me. A co-worker came in to check on me, he thankfully knew where I was.

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44. Sleeping In Class

It was my senior year, and I was taking calculus. We were learning about derivatives, and when we first started, I accidentally zoned out and napped a little.

I accepted that I would be behind for the unit, so I was just going to make sure that I’m fully awake and focused for the next unit. Every lesson for the rest of the year involved derivatives.

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45. Not My Proudest Moment

I don’t know if it’s like this in other countries, but in Norway, the buses have two groups of four seats that face each other in addition to regular bus seats.

So I was getting on the bus, and because I was in a rush to find a seat before the bus started to move, I headed to one of the four-seat groups with an old lady sitting across from me (the bus was very full, so this was the only seat available), but before I got the chance to put my belt on, the bus had started to move but came to a sudden stop.

I plunged forward and accidentally face-planted into the poor old woman’s sizable bosoms.

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46. Quick Joy Ride

When I was in college, my buddies and I came out of a bar one night and saw a police officer ride up on his bicycle.

He parked his bike outside the bar and went in to break up a fight or something. Without thinking, I jumped on the bicycle just to take it on a quick joy ride.

I didn’t make it 100 feet before I had another officer spear-tackle me off the bike. As I was face down in the parking lot with handcuffs on, I vividly remember thinking, “I’ve made a huge mistake.

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47. My First Time On A Skateboard

Hungover after a party at a friend’s house – barefoot and shirtless. Nobody else was up yet, so I hopped on a skateboard and started absentmindedly rolling down the street.

I had never really skateboarderded before. When the street turned into a hill, it dawned on me that I had made a huge mistake.

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48. I Was Lucky

Was working on building a new patio cover with my dad. We had laid sheets of plywood out that we were nailing to the wood beams on the roof.

The sheets of plywood were just strewn about on the top of the wooden beams and were not secured yet. But to get around on the top of the overhead patio cover, we had to walk on the beams.

Well, we had completed about half of the patio cover where I made a mistake. Either I wasn’t paying attention, or I wasn’t paying attention, but then I stepped onto a piece of plywood I thought was already nailed to the top of the patio cover already.

It wasn’t. I made a huge mistake. I tried to correct myself by stepping elsewhere, but that patio cover was just as not nailed down.

Needless to say, I fell in between the wood beams, and 10 feet later, I landed straight on my back, facing up. If that wasn’t bad enough, one of the giant sheets of plywood I had disturbed landed straight on my head – edge first.

Surprisingly I did not break anything and had a pretty nasty mark on my forehead. However, my glasses were tweaked pretty badly. Apart from the shock of everything that happened, I came out pretty unscathed.

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49. I Ran Into The Principal

I ran down the stairs, burst through the swinging door at the bottom, and ran right into the principal. I literally ran into her.

I didn’t get into trouble, just told to slow down. But at the moment, my heart hit my gut when I realized who I had just run into.

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50. Cemented Cars

We were mixing concrete in a portable mixer because we were making a ramp for our disabled neighbor. Ramp was created, and everything was good except that we had way too much leftover concrete.

Somehow we made about 10 times as much as we needed. We filled the mixer with water to dilute the concrete and then poured it into a ditch in her yard.

It completely overflowed, flowing down her driveway, down the suburban streets, into drain pipes, onto the tires of cars parked on the curb, and eventually into the person at the bottom of the hill front yard.

There was nothing we could do but watch it all flow. All in all, we basically cemented 4 cars in place and created a new patio for some guy. And the evidence all pointed to our disabled neighbor’s house.

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51. I Ruined My Customer’s Hair

I’m a hairdresser. I had a very wealthy woman as a client who had a LOT of thick hair and wanted to balayage (painted on highlights) her hair and make it a vivid color. Cool.

So, we went through the process, and I’m noticing that her hair was really dry and delicate despite it being really long and thick, so I made sure to rinse her bleach out a little earlier than planned…except the mass of hair kept the water from getting to the highlights on the very bottom.

I start blowing her out, and I notice there’s an entire section where it matters if you have long hair and like to put it up, i.e., the section at the very bottom that has broken off to shoulder length (her hair was to her waist).

I was sweating bullets, watching this short hair flapping in the wind, and I nearly cried when I had to tell her what had happened. She got a small undercut at her request and was really nice about it, but it scarred me for a while.

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52. Never Again

I had a midterm worth 35% of our total grade in a class I wasn’t particularly good in but needed to graduate. I stayed up really late studying and ended up being so tired I forgot to set the alarm, so I slept through the test.

I’ll never forget the panic I felt when I woke up and realized I’d missed it. I failed the class and had to retake it. Not fun.

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53. Two Heavy-Set Women

I worked at a retail store when two women walked by me and said, “Tell (coworker) that she gave us excellent service” on their way out of the store.

I told my coworker about it afterward, and she said, “Who were they?” And for some reason, my dumb*ss said, “Umm, I’m not sure, but they were two heavy-set women,” and then described what they were wearing.

And my coworker said, “Oh, that was my mom and my aunt.” I have never been more embarrassed in my life.

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54. Cutting Freshman’s Hair

As a senior, I jokingly went up behind a freshman with scissors as if I was gonna cut a chunk of hair off.

Fingers slipped. I actually did it. Immediately walked out of the room. Felt so bad. I went to my principal about the same time he was hearing about it.

He was nonchalantly eating yogurt. He asked if I did it. I said, “Yeah, detention, right?” He said yeah. He wasn’t even mad. Just enjoying his yogurt. Funniest interaction I can think of between him and me.

I also wrote the kid an apology letter. I felt so bad. 9th grade is already hard enough without feeling like a senior is bullying you.

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55. Pancakes Gone Wrong

Today, I fed up by wanting crisp cinnamon pancakes for breakfast. I woke up, and my first thought was cinnamon pancakes.

I couldn’t find the pre-made mix, so I, in my idiocy, decided I would make them from scratch. My recipe called for milk, as it should, but here’s where everything goes wrong.

I initially thought it looked way too chunky, but oh, it’s probably because I mixed it wrong. It smells weird. That’s because I just need to cook it, right? They won’t cook correctly? Oh, it’s fine! I mean, what do I know? I’ve never done this before. Why did I ignore the signs?

Time skip to 2 consumed pancakes later. I thought they tasted off, so my initial thought was I did something wrong, But then I noticed the milk had gone bad about a week ago. Kicker?

I found the premade mix in the cupboard. I can already feel my stomach doing cartwheels. I am currently writing this in terror for my bathroom and stomach.

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56. I Started My Career With A Bang

Chemistry teacher here, on my first day of teaching, I set my classroom on fire after some unfortunate incidents involving sodium, water, and a glass tank.

The problem was that the glass tank was too big, so the hydrogen gas got to build up to a decent amount. Then suddenly, kaboom! The glass tank exploded, there was shattered glass everywhere, and it hit the students, who were all wearing safety glasses.

A column of water grew from the glass tank to the ceiling, and the ceiling started to burn.

After a few moments, the fire died out, and the fire alarm was loud, and I had to make sure all of the students were ok. Which they were.

It ended up being one of the funniest classes to teach for many years. The students absolutely loved it. I was a bit of a nervous wreck for a few hours.

The worst thing in hindsight is all of the comments saying things like, “you started your career with a bang” and stuff like that.

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57. The Backpack Took Me Down

When I was like 14, I got so mad and threw my backpack on the ground.

The backpack got caught on some sort of body part and brought me down with it, and slammed me on the ground in front of hundreds of people. Toned down the anger after that one. Never felt more embarrassed in my whole life.

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58. Work Disaster 

I worked at a car detailing place. We had enormous buckets with taps on the end of them for all of the chemicals we would use to clean the cars.

One day before we closed up for the weekend, I decided to do an acid wash on my car to get all of the tar off of my bumper and wheels and such.

Turns out that when I came in on Monday, I forgot to turn the tap off to the acid. Everyone had to wear a mask in the place for a couple of days because of the smell.

With the hole in the ground, I evaporated, and the cost of all of the acid I wasted took a few paychecks to replace.

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59. My Mom’s Wand Shaver

My mom got one of those little wand shavers that you use to trim pubes and facial hair, and she said, “Don’t use it on your eyebrows.”

Well, guess what I did? And when I had shaved off the first one, I thought, “Oh god, what have I done…and promptly shaved off the other one.” Can’t have just one eyebrow, you know?

I wanted to stay home from school, but my mom’s logic was that I couldn’t stay home till they grew back.

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60. Daddy

Years ago, I worked as a host/takeout cashier at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was pretty dead one day, so I didn’t have much to do. This man came in with his son to pick up their food, but it wasn’t ready yet, so I talked to them for a few minutes. They were pretty chill, and the kid was super talkative.

Finally, their food is ready, and the policy is to show them all their food to make sure it’s all right. So I pull out the kid’s food, and I’m like, “Alright, this is for (insert kids name that I can’t remember),” and then the dad’s food, and I’m still kinda talking to the kid, and I say, “And this is for daddy” and then me and the dad both stared at each other because I literally just called this man daddy.

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61. Not That Number

While waiting for my number to get called to receive my driver’s license. This girl leans over and asks what my number was.

My dumbass gives my phone number. She just looks at me and politely goes, “I meant your number in line.” I sat back after telling her and looked at my Dad, who is smirking his ass off.

I just told him to not say a word. To this day, I still cringe at the thought of that moment, but at least my Dad has never brought it up.

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62. Our African American Friend

So my freshman year in college, my roommate and I were having a few drinks in our room, hanging out, and getting ready for the night. We invited our friend down to join us, who was African American.

While continuing to drink and joke around, we hear a knock on our door, and we both assume it’s our friend coming down, but I look through the peephole just to be sure. Seeing nobody, I assume he was just playing a joke waiting to jump out and scare us or something.

My dumbass proceeded to say, “We have an unidentified black male attempting to enter our room,” and boy, I have never regretted that decision more.

I opened the door expecting a jump scare from our friend, but it ended up being city police officers responding to a call that somebody had been smoking on our floor, and on top of that, the police officer just happened to be black.

I am pretty sure he saw the pure look of terror in my eyes and gave a quick laugh as my friend, who was coming, walked down the hallway toward our room.

He took a peek inside our room to see my laptop open to video games and my roommate playing his PlayStation, but also a couple of beer cans on my desk.

He explained the situation about what they were looking for and asked if either of us smoked, which neither of us did. He gave one more laugh and went to the next room. That had to be the most embarrassing/scary moment of my freshman year.

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63. I Locked Everyone Out

This was my first real job out of uni, so I was in my early twenties. I had been working at a pharma company for a few months and a guy, Andy, set me up on a system that the whole company (100k+) used to catalog documents and updates on drugs we sold.

My only job was to go through and find old drugs that we didn’t sell anymore and change their settings to that they were invisible to everyone, just to make everything a bit tidier.

I had been doing this for two days when, somehow, I managed to set it so that the entire database was locked out to everyone in the company, and I was the only person with access. Within minutes I was getting calls from people all over the world. All very polite “Hi there, I’m trying to add a record to Drug A, and I can’t make changes. I can see you’re the admin. Can you give me access rights?”

I was frantically trying to add people on, one by one, whilst screening my calls and watching as emails started flooding my inbox. I was panicking so hard, and just as I realized this was not going to work, I was added to a meeting about the system. It was literally me, Andy, and three senior managers. I was FREAKING OUT.

I decided to just ignore the call. Stupid, I know, but I was like 21 and terrified. About three minutes in, Andy arrives at my desk. “Grey, we’re on a call! Did you see my invite?” I act dumb and tell him I’m just dialing in, but he was very chipper, which made me suspicious.

Anyway, I dial in, and the head of the tech is monologuing about how he has been saying for months that this software is overloaded, and how any minute it’s going to implode on itself, etc., and Andy is agreeing with them; that this is the very reason he asked me to remove the listings in the first place.

I listen quietly, and it turns out that they are all convinced the software did this to itself, and the only people who still have access rights are the people who were logged in at the time it ‘freaked out.’ (As opposed to it being just me and the people I had manually added in.)

As time goes on, it becomes apparent that they all think I’m some kind of specialist on the system. Andy keeps mentioning that I was working on a project for him, and they keep saying, “Grey can take care of this bit?” “We’ll flag this for Grey.'”

Fortunately for me, I knew what they meant each time; it was like I was listening to a foreign language, and then just when they spoke English, they assigned that ‘bit’ to me. Three days later, they had fixed the system, and in that time, I had removed old users and finished removing the unused drugs, which they were still convinced was the reason it shut down, to begin with. 

As a result, I got a BONUS, I got a mention in the CEO email for assisting with the crisis, and at my end-of-year meeting, they added the fact that I was an ‘expert’ in this system to my job description.

Not bad for a 21-year-old who was too dumb to process that clicking ‘yes’ on a box marked ‘do you want to remove all access rights for 100+ users?’ was a terrible idea.

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64. Birthday Party

I was at my friend’s birthday party in high school and was super drunk. Ran up to a group of people and said, “Watch this! I then proceeded to run and dive into a bounce house, only for the Velcro-lined entrance to grab my sweats/boxers and pull them down to my ankles. 

I’ll never forget the looks of horror on their faces while I laid there on my back with my legs in the air showing off all my goodies.

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65. Awkward Moment

I was at my school’s basketball tournament, and the game was neck and neck. The opposing coach was so angry when things didn’t go his way he would toss chairs on the court, yell at the referees, fight with parents, etc…

At the end of the game, one of the players I have almost every class with at school approaches my direction, and I stop him to ask him about the coach’s behavior. I go on insulting the coach and mocking him for a good 5-10 minutes, and at the end, I say, “Is he on his period or something?” the player responds with, “Yeah, that’s my dad.”

Not only was THAT day awkward, every other day that followed in the school was awkward. Every time we passed each other in the halls, made eye contact, and got assigned group projects together. So happy I graduated and got away from that.

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66. I Flashed My Neighbors 

I like walking around my apartment almost naked. I’m at least in my undies and sometimes leave them off for a bit as well after taking a shower.

My old apartment was on the third floor with no clear view inside any of my windows. So not that big of a deal. My new apartment is on the first floor with floor deep windows on all sides.

I guess you know where this is going. I flashed my new neighbors two weeks after moving in because I simply forgot. Luckily they took it well and had no issue at all with nudity.

But it was really embarrassing when it happened. Not because I’m uncomfy being naked, but more because I was new there and this was basically my introduction to them.

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67. “Dude…”

In high school, I was hanging out with my group of friends at lunch. One of our friends walked up wearing a suit and started talking to one of my other friends. A few moments later, he says, “Ok, guys, I’m heading out now. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

So I replied excitedly, “Alright, man, have fun!!”He gave me the weird scowl/look of betrayal I’ve ever seen. Somehow it slipped past my radar that his girlfriend had developed a super rare disease and died inside the time span of a week.

All my friends were looking at me with the widest eyes as he walked away, and in a chorus, everyone was like, “DUUUUUUUUUDE.”

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68. Chocolate Milk

When I was in kindergarten, I had a teacher who was black. She had twins. One day she brought them in and had a little show and tell, and she talked about how she took care of them.

Fine, whatever keeps the kids entertained, right When she got done, she asked if there were any questions, so I raised my hand.

“Since you’re brown, do you make chocolate milk?” The white teacher was mortified. I can still see her face. Mrs. Thompson, on the other hand, thought it was the funniest thing she has ever heard.

She called a parent meeting and told both my parents about what was said. My mom apologized profusely while slapping at my dad, who had to walk out of the room because he was laughing so hard. My parents still won’t let me live it down.

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69. I Almost Burned My Apartment Down

I was making a croquembouche, AKA cream puff tower, for a friend’s potluck. We live in the same apartment building, so I was to bring my dessert downstairs.

I had a longer day than I normally do during the week; after the 7:30 AM lecture, I went to play tennis for a couple of hours, club meeting at noon, and trained a friend at my gym at 2:00.

I didn’t really get to start working on my croquembouche until around 5:00. By this time, I am rushing quite a bit.

Eventually, at 9:30, I finished gluing all the cream puffs together with hot caramel into a tower and proceeded to move downstairs to the potluck.

I was greeted amicably and in amazement by all my friends and hung out for a bit. I get a frantic call from my roommate asking where I am I and if I forgot something on the stove.

I rushed upstairs, and there it was – my pot of sugar turned into a fossil and apartment in the post-smoke apocalypse. 

I felt so bad that I spent six hours today cleaning it, but it still has a lot of burnt gunk on it, so I decided to buy him a new one. He was definitely mad initially, but he seems understanding.

I was so tired from the day’s event that I completely forgot to simply turn off the stove. I’m still beating myself up over this, but I’m glad I’m in the end. No one was hurt, and that I replaced his pot.

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70. The Security System

I saw a piece of paper taped on what I thought was a security camera, and being 6’3 decided I would help out my janitor by jumping and grabbing it for him.

For reference, the sticker is 10 feet in the air. After not getting it the first day, I decided I would do it once every day during passing period, and my entire class, who has to go down the same hallway, would cheer me on to get it.

Well, today for some reason, I was really hyped up, and I fully sprinted and got the piece of paper in between my index finger and thumb, and I took the “camera” down with it.

Well after I got it off the ceiling, I put it down to go tell my favorite (shout-out, big Sean) security guard because I was definitely seen, and a snitch took the camera.

After the guard and I got the camera from the snitch and walked to the office, I found out that the camera is a motion sensor that is close to $1000 to repair.

But what I also found out is that the security system is like Christmas lights meaning that if one goes down in a building, ALL GO DOWN IN THE BUILDING.

But let me say my school is separated into five huge buildings, and the performing arts is the biggest (the one I accidentally took down).

While in the office, my counselor asked if I was OK, and I told her, “No, when I get home, either my mom is killing me, or I’m killing myself,” and then I realized I shouldn’t make those jokes to the person who has the power to give me manual counseling and I jokingly said, “Wait redact that statement.”

After all was said and done, my vice principal said “that I was funny while telling the story” and that I didn’t have to be suspended.

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71. Chicken Head Barbie

Ok, so (weird) backstory is when I and my sister were little, we had this Barbie doll that we ripped the head off and replaced it with this rubber realistic chicken head that was originally part of a puppet.

So we had “chicken head Barbie,” and we played with it all the time. Chicken Head Barbie goes to the mall, Chicken Head Barbie goes to the prom, etc. My parents thought it was super weird and funny, so that probably encouraged us to keep it up.

So flash forward, I’m like 25 at Starbucks with my boyfriend, and I realize I have never told him about Chicken Head Barbie! “Omg, I never told you about Chicken Head Barbie??! Well, —-“ we get cut off at the point when we order our drinks.

So there, I go over to the drink pickup area, and I continue the story with a level of physical closeness and familiarity you only have with a lover.

I put my hand on his shoulder and say close to his ear so he can hear me in the crowded coffee shop, “Ok, so we had this Barbie doll and this realistic chicken head—“ and that’s when I glance over and see that my boyfriend is on the other side of the shop and I am whispering this creepy ass nonsense to some poor unsuspecting gentleman.

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72. Parent-Teacher Conference

My very first-ever parent-teacher conference for my daughter. My wife and I sat at one of the little tables the kids sit at with the teacher going over grades.

She proceeds to tell us how well-mannered and polite our child is. She’s a pleasure to teach, always helps the kids with no friends.

As she was telling us this stuff, I sneezed. And since we were at the little tables we were in the perfect squatty potty position. I sneezed, and a toot came out. Little but loud cause of the hard plastic seat I was in.

I looked at the teacher, and she tried to act like she didn’t hear it. I looked at my wife, and she was beet red. I lost it. I asked to be excused so I could contain myself.

After a couple of seconds, I came back into the classroom, made eye contact with my wife, and fell out laughing again so hard that I went straight to the car and waited.

It was quite embarrassing more because it was a catholic school, and they get pretty strict on behavior. And here I am, acting like a damn child who heard a fart for the first time.

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73. Whipped Cream In My Crotch

I used to wait tables. During a busy Sunday post-church lunch rush, I had to make a sundae for a table in the very back corner of the restaurant.

I get to the table, and the entire party starts laughing. I’m standing there holding the sundae, super confused. I look down and realize that I had somehow managed to get a large amount of whipped cream directly over my crotch while preparing the sundae. It was nowhere else on me. Just my crotch.

All I could do was put the sundae down, say, “Oh my gosh,” and speed walk back through the entire restaurant to clean myself up.

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74. Dead Children

I was talking to my new supervisor when she told me it was her third time taking her role at the troubled children program we worked at.

She said, “These kids are what always brings me back.” 17-year-old me smiles and jokingly says, “Why don’t you just have your own?!” Her smile and jovial spirit quickly turned to a dark, blank, empty stare.

“I did. Two of them. They died six months ago. Both of them.” Worst moment of my adolescent life.

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75. The Person With The Purple Hair

Back when I was in college, I had dyed my hair a very nice purple. I was at orientation for a school I was studying abroad at and then heard a speech about how there’s someone at orientation that shows a lot of school pride, and it’s an honor to have them here and for them to represent the school.

I was excited, thinking that it would be some celebrity, but it turned out the school color was the same color as my hair.

The person who was giving us the speech made me stand up and had EVERYONE applaud and cheer for me. I was so embarrassed because I don’t like to stand out (I know what you’re thinking.

Why did you dye your hair if you didn’t like to stand out? And I did it because I felt more like myself when I had my hair dyed back then). There were about 500+ people in that place, and after that, everyone knew me as the person with the purple hair.

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76. Shoplifting 

For my last four semesters of uni, I was shoplifting at a supermarket chain here in Germany. I felt bad for doing so. That’s why I always wrote up what I stole in my Google Keep app.

Last Sunday, I spent the whole day putting it all together in a huge excel file and thought to myself that, now that I have a good-paying job (since august) – I can pay it back! I even stayed at the little apartment I’m in so I can put the money aside faster than if I had moved.

So today, I went to an ATM and got the cash I needed (only 971 euros, I was surprised how low the amount was) and went to the supermarket where I stole from. I told a woman who was putting stuff up the shelves if I could see the manager.

She asked why and I said I had shoplifted. She got me into this room and asked me to wait and that he’ll be there. When he got here, I told him about everything, with the printed-out excel and the money.

He told me that he didn’t realize that it was me who was stealing it. They had caught some shoplifters but still saw the inventory not adding up. He was thankful and asked me to wait. I waited for like half an hour, kind of anxiously but also relieved.

He came back with two policemen who repeated my story and asked me if it was true. I was a bit hesitant, but the manager said that the conversation had been recorded.

I said yes, and basically, they made me sign all these forms acknowledging what I did. Now I’m looking towards jail time and losing my job.

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77. Shoeless

I had made a short film that had gotten into a festival, and I had to travel down to Busan from Seoul on the fast train. Super expensive. I was looking good, wearing cool clothes, including a pair of leather shoes I had thrifted.

Bad mistake. By the time I left the subway in Busan and walked 100 meters towards the theatre (where I was due to give a speech), the top of one of my shoes was starting to flap.

I managed to hook my big toe over it to hold it down, but the sides were now lifting up. People I was passing were starting to notice as it looked like I had a club foot. In the end, I had to take the shoe off and throw it away.

I now had one shoe and a limp. This was in an area full of apartments. NO SHOPS, not even a convenience store. I hopped along, then the other shoe came apart, and I had to throw that away.

What should I do? I’m in an unfamiliar city, shoeless, and on top of that, the glue had left big black oily patches on my feet.

I walked shoeless to the theatre (if you know Korea at all, you know how well-dressed people are). I honestly didn’t know what I should do. Not go? Even though I was expected, and it would ruin my reputation?

I honestly felt like crying. I made it to the theatre and was ushered to the front before I could explain my situation to my co-director. I had to give a speech shoeless and with oily feet, to people I was trying to impress. Then I had to walk to find a store shoeless.

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78. Wrong Location

I started talking to this girl, and I really like her. She and I are big runners, and we were starting to run with each other in the morning once a week.

Well, one week, I told her it looked like we were going to have to cancel since the weather said it was going to rain. She was bummed but understood how miserable running in the rain was.

Well, the next morning, the skies are clear as ever and even warm for Colorado in November. I go to check the weather only to find I looked up the weather in Washington, D.C. I have no family there, haven’t been there, basically no reason to look up the weather there. We haven’t run since.

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79. Mom To The Rescue

This happened about four years ago, but my sister, mother, and I (male) were at an airport waiting for our plane to come. It was gonna be approaching soon, so I decided to use the restroom.

On the way to the restroom, some dude bumped into my shoulder and kept on walking, so my immediate reaction, trying to be tough, and all was to look back and stare at him.

 After about 10 seconds, I proceeded to get water, and then walk into the restroom. I sat down on the toilet and began to check my phone. I heard someone say, “It’s gonna be one of those days today,” but that didn’t mean anything.

As I was using the restroom, I saw the person next to me wearing pink shoes, so I asked myself, “What kind of dude wears pink shoes?” And then I looked to the stall next to me… and saw high heels.

I went into the girls’ restroom. I panicked, I didn’t know what else to do, so I texted my mother and told her I accidentally walked into the girls’ restroom. She told me to just walk out and say it was an accident, but my pride and I wouldn’t allow that to happen.

She asked if I wanted her to come get me and pretend like I’m mentally challenged, and I thought, “Dead God, no, I’ll go to hell for that.”

 Since I said no to that option, she said that she would come and get me and pretend like I was a transgender teen, which I said no to as well. Next thing I know, she is knocking on the stall door, saying, “Come out mamas, it’s okay!”

And I don’t know if we’re going with me pretending to be transgender or mentally challenged. So I went out pretending to be both. Needless to say, that story is told literally anytime I go anywhere with my family.

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80. It Was Worth It

I was helping a friend in a custody case for his infant daughter. The ex was a completely negligent parent – not feeding her appropriate food, not changing diapers enough, loud parties on overnight visits, random shady babysitters, and even leaving the baby to be cared for by her 9-year-old overnight a few times.

She had blocked him but not me on Facebook. I took a bunch of screenshots of some pretty damning stuff and sent them to my friend so he could share them with his lawyer and the guardian ad litem.

Except I didn’t send it to my friend. I sent it to a GROUP text for an event coming up, which included mutual friends with the guy’s ex. I threw myself on my sword and said I was trying to send them to my sister and was just being petty, and I’m an asshole, etc.

My friend got the primary placement of his daughter, so it was totally worth it.

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81. ‘DTA’

I worked in a hotel for a few years where everyone was required to take a practical manual handling course where we learned to lift things without injuring ourselves.

I had missed the course with all of the people in the department I actually worked in and had to do mine on the final day for all the people in the hotel who missed their departments day.

Sat in a room with lots of people I know but don’t really know, and it was my turn to lift the box ‘using my knees and not my back’.

I stepped up, squatted, picked up the box, squatted to put it back down, and my pants ripped clean from front to back, exposing my almost bare butt to both the oldest member of staff, a quiet man who had never seen such a display and the youngest member of staff who did not know where to divert his eyes.

The instructor running the course and the people standing in front of me hadn’t noticed, and the instructor said, “Oh, that wasn’t really right, can you do it again” to which I calmly replied, “I’m afraid I’ve just ripped my pants so I think I might have to go,” reversed to the nearest wall and shuffled along it to the door, ran to the staff cupboard and tied a jumper round my waist so I could go to my car where I had a spare pair of pants.

I went back in to complete the course too. Couldn’t look anyone in the eye, but the instructor made a joke about it which relieved some of the tension. Really, it was embarrassing, but it was also so so funny.

The people there didn’t know me well enough to feel like they could laugh, but luckily everyone else in the hotel laughed about it for weeks.

To this day one of the chefs still calls me ‘DTA’ (short for ‘drop that arse’ which is what the instructor would say to everyone to remind you to bend your knees when lifting) whenever he sees me.

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82. In The Women’s Bathroom

I once walked into a women’s bathroom. Except I didn’t notice it at the time. Just thought it was a weird bathroom that had no urinals.

I had to drop a duece anyways, so it wasn’t a big deal. I was really confused about why they had little trash cans next to the toilet paper dispenser.

Finally, it hit me that I was in the women’s bathroom. I finished up my business and could tell I was the only person in the bathroom. I thought I was about to get away with it.

There were two entrances to the bathroom. I opened the stall and headed for the entrance I had used originally. I had taken only a step or two when the other entrance opened.

I froze and made eye contact with a 60-year-old woman. She had a look of shock and disgust on her face. I pretty much ran out of the bathroom and rejoined my group, and we left the building.

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83. Auto Responder

So here’s my story. It happened about six years ago. I was about eight months pregnant and prepping work for me to go on maternity leave. 

I work in a busy sign shop and handle the majority of artwork and client relations. So as you would expect, you set up an auto-responder on your email stating that you’re going on maternity leave, right? (I live in Canada, so this is a year-long leave) I wanted to make sure the clients weren’t emailing me and wondering why they weren’t getting an answer. 

Well, in my not quite there brain set, I somehow messed up the auto respond. I instantly started to go through each and every email I had received in my inbox and responded with my canned message that I was leaving.

The scale of this doesn’t seem so bad until you realize I get upwards of 1000 emails a week. I have worked there since 2007. If I didn’t turn it off soon, it was going to hurt business.

My pregnant, confused ass was so mortified I immediately turned off my email, but the phone calls started. Well, let’s just say once I managed to stop it, one client had at least 30 emails in the 10 minutes it was on for.

It turned out to be more of a joke, thankfully. Most clients understood the mistake and knew me well enough that it was not intentional. I now have a fear of autoresponders and now refuse to use them.

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84. A Special Photo

There was this girl in high school that I had a huge crush on. She was my close friend, but definitely out of my league. She was very beautiful and popular and people always asked her why she hung out with me.

I never made a move because I was certain she’d reject me. At graduation, she gave me a nice card and a box of assorted chocolates. I’m allergic to nuts, so I couldn’t eat any, but I really appreciated the gesture. To thank her, I bought her some socks that said “best friend” all over them.

After that, she acted very strangely to me. I thought maybe she didn’t like my gift or that she wanted to focus on college or something. Eventually, we just drifted apart. Since I couldn’t risk eating any of the chocolates, I left them in my parent’s fridge. About six months later, my mom texted me asking if they could eat them. I say sure. Then she sends me a picture.

“This was underneath the chocolates. I think it was meant for you.” It was a photo of the girl and me, cut into the shape of a heart. On the back of the photo was a message from her, professing her secret feelings for me. By this time, she had a boyfriend who she’s now married. I had a shot, and I blew it, and I’ve thought about it every day since.

Win_in_Roam 

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85. Thumbs-Up

I flashed my boobs at a cop once. That was pretty mortifying. They lived on my street and were driving by while I was outside. I went to give them a thumbs-up signal, and my thumb got stuck on the hem of my shirt on the way up, and there were my boobs. This was the second time I’ve flashed someone while trying to give a thumbs-up. I don’t do that signal anymore.

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86. Eyelash Curler

I was getting ready for homecoming when I was a junior in high school. It was almost time to go, and I was searching for my eyelash curler. I went and looked for it in my car, couldn’t find it initially, but then spotted it laying in my driveway.

I clamped that bad boy down on my lashes as I walked back into the house to check my hair/makeup/outfit one last time before heading out. I was horrified when I looked in the mirror and realized that I had NO EYELASHES.

Apparently, at some point, after that eyelash curler had fallen into the driveway, someone had stepped on it or run it over with a car…bending part of it just enough to turn it into scissors. And I had cut off my own eyelashes.

Despite this, I went to my homecoming dance. I was just super embarrassed the entire time. Plus, the month or so after a while, I waited for my eyelashes to grow back.

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87. “You too!”

This happened in college. During the semester, we had a professor who lost her mother during the year. The whole class knew about it. Well, the next semester, I see her while walking to the parking lot and said, “Happy holidays.” She replied with, “Have fun with your parents.”

I ineptly and automatically replied with, “You too!” Right afterward, I knew what I did, after I got in my car, I saw her in front and just waved and said, “Have a good break.”

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88. Agreeing To Be My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

My best friend and I have been friends for almost a year. We met each other online, and we tell each other everything. She is a lesbian, and I’m bisexual.

Today she confessed to me that she has a crush on me and asked me to be her girlfriend. I said yes because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings because I know she is afraid of rejection.

Honestly don’t have feelings for her, and I only like her as a friend, and her friendship means the world to me, but I don’t want a relationship.

She also told all of her IRL friends and her parents that I’m her girlfriend now, and they congratulated her. Her parents even want to visit my country now since we’re dating.

I know I sound like a terrible person, and you guys would hate me for what I did. I want to break up with her and be honest with her, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings since I want us to continue being friends.

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89. Bloody Face

I think I was in grade 10 when this happened. I had just moved with my family from a small African country where I grew up back to where we are actually from and started as the new kid at this high school.

I had been suffering from really horrible acne that surpassed your typical and expected pimples from puberty and turned into very big cysts that lasted for a long time and wouldn’t stop cropping up after one would finally subside.

It was lunch break, and I was in the gym playing some soccer with people I barely knew when this popular guy kicked the ball, and it hit me square in the face. After the initial shock, he had come over to ask if I was alright and that he was really sorry because my nose was bleeding.

I touched my nose but quickly realized it wasn’t a bloody nose, the ball had popped one of these nasty cysts that I was already very self-conscious about, and it was bleeding add probably has puss coming out. He kind of cut short his sentence when he realized it, and I was so embarrassed.

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90. Holland

I was boarding an overnight flight to Amsterdam from New Jersey. It was my first time going overseas. My seat was next to this really tall dude.

He was cool, so we made some small talk while waiting for the plane to take off. I said how I was looking forward to spending New Year in a new city, and he mentioned how he was excited to visit family in Holland.

Being the oblivious dumbass American that I am, I said, “Oh, that’s cool, Holland is actually on my list of places to visit.” The man just gave me a blank stare of “Are you serious?” I was confused by his look, and it took me two minutes to realize Holland was just another name for the Netherlands. The plane didn’t take off for another 20 minutes. I went to sleep immediately after.

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91. Tic-Tac

I was interning at a law firm. I was called into a conference room to discuss a case with a partner and two associates. After some discussion, the partner left, and there were just the two associates and me.

One of the associates took out a box of tic-tac and offered some to me. I took some. He kept it on the table and, after a while, left. The tic-tac is still on the table. Now it was just me and the other associate. Soon, the associate left the room to go to the loo or something. I felt like taking another tic-tac.

As soon as I picked up the box, the guy returned from the loo, and I don’t know why, but I hid it in my palm under the table. Now I knew that I could not put it back on the table with him watching (IDK why I thought that).

So I carefully put the tic-tac in my pocket and, hoping to put it in my bag which was lying on my table outside, got up and started walking, only to realise that the tic-tacs were making a lot of noise due to the movement. Still, I walked out of the room awkwardly.

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92. Peeing Myself In Class

This happened a couple of years ago when I was in college. I had gotten a large drink from Starbucks before my morning math class started, and I was still a bit early to class, so naturally, I drank the entire thing before class had even begun.

About 10 minutes into class, I felt the urge to pee, so I excused myself and went. No big deal. Not even 5 minutes after I got back into my seat, I had to pee again.

I struggle with social anxiety, so I was absolutely mortified to get back up and go out again, so I tried to hold it in. Big mistake. HUGE! I held it for maybe 2 minutes before I felt the first drop hit my chair, and then it just gushed out like Niagara Falls.

I quickly grabbed my things and waddled out before I thought anybody could notice what happened, though I’m certain they did. I didn’t go back to that class for a week straight.

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93. Bad Idea

When I was in the 7th grade, I got assigned a project with the most popular girl in school. This was my chance to become her best friend. I invited her over to my house, and I thought we could chill before jumping into the project.

I thought the best way to impress her would be to show her the dance I made to a song from the new J.Lo album. She sat on the couch while I performed. We did not become best friends.

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94. Ladybug Ring

When I was about eight years old, we took a field trip to the Field Museum here in Chicago. We had a lunch break, and I wandered off to the gift shop to see what they had. I had a massive crush on this girl named Victoria in my class, and I saw this ladybug ring for a couple of dollars.

I knew she liked ladybugs and I had money my parents gave me to buy something at the shop, so I decided to buy the ring and give it to her.

I was really nervous and kept waiting for the right time to do it. I eventually decided to just go for it and walked up to her near the end of the trip. She was with some of her friends, which made me more nervous, but I found the courage to do it.

She looked at the ring and laughed. Her friends joined her, and she then tossed the ring in the trash.

I was completely devastated and tried hard to hold back my tears. Even though I’m over it now, that completely ruined my confidence with girls for a long time.

Looking back, I may have embarrassed her too by giving it to her in front of her friends, which was why she reacted that way, but whatever the case, it’s probably the most embarrassed I have been in my life.

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95. Tinder Date

I was on a tinder date (first date). I was to meet her at the local cinema after we had finished work, watch a film and go back to hers after for dinner she insisted on preparing.

It was all going amazingly. We sat through it all holding hands and eventually made it back to hers in shape. She started preparing dinner and left me on the couch nursing a beer, which is when I really how much I needed to go to the toilet (my pre-date nerves distracted my bowel movements).

I excused myself and went and did my business. I stand up, flush and spray and then my heart stops. The poo won’t flush!

I flush again and again, and it’s not going down! So I look around, and due to the extreme circumstance, I lock eyes with the window. I pick up my poo with toilet paper, open the window and throw it.

THERE WAS A FLYWIRE! And the poo splattered everywhere and down her window. I was in there for another 30 minutes scrubbing without much success. I eventually approach her with my tail in between my legs and explain to her what had happened. There was no second date.

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96. Five Euro Bill

I was in a little coffee shop in Italy, buying an espresso. Fumbled around for my purse and went to the counter to pay. A good-looking Italian taps me on the shoulder from behind and hands me a five euro note.

I blush, twittering like a tipsy budgerigar, and graciously refuse his offer to buy my drink. There is a bit of a language barrier, and he seems more irritated than flirty, gesticulating wildly and insisting that I take the money. Three other men in the café get involved.

I am overwhelmed, giggling like a schoolgirl and bashfully shaking my head, thanking him and handing him back the money – whilst feeling like the belle of the ball, what with my dirty jeans, hair scraped back in a ponytail, and no make-up.

After this has gone on for far too long, he sighs, slams the money on the counter, and stalks out, complaining loudly to the other patrons present. I opened my purse and only now realised that he was trying to return my money which had fallen out. I will never go back to Italy for fear of running into him.

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97. “Hearts Here”

One day when I was in 8th grade, my friends suddenly decided to avoid me. I tried to talk to them and even sit around with them, but they were acting like I was a ghost.

They go like, “Did you hear that?” “Feels like someone is here,” “Scary.” It was hilarious and funny. I know they’re just trying to annoy me, sigh.

There wasn’t a teacher, so I roamed around singing “Hearts here, hearts here” and drawing hearts on the board. I don’t know why I was doing that. I went outside alone. I saw a guy sitting on the floor. It was my classmate, who I am pretty close with because we were classmates since 7th grade.

I sit beside him and grab his notebook. Sang “Hearts here, I will put some hearts here, hearts here.” SO SILLY OF ME THAT I EVEN DRAW HEARTS ALL AROUND HIS NOTEBOOK. I was wondering why he was quiet.

I looked at him and saw IT WASN’T MY CLASSMATE I KNEW. He was from the other section, which was kind of famous in our school. I stand up quickly so aware of what has happened. I ran back to my classroom, can’t handle my embarrassment, and had no one to share my agony with because my friends were trying to annoy me. I heard he called me crazy, which is true at that time. I can’t argue.

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98. Happy Hour Talks

I was at happy hour with some new coworkers, and I swear I thought I heard one guy mention that the friend who tagged along was his boyfriend. It wasn’t.

They were very hetero-military buddies. One of them was telling me how they were both from the same state in the U.S., so I was in the middle of saying something like, “Oh, it must be nice to have both your parents near each other,” when the guy went blank and was like, “Wait what?”

So, rather than take cues, tipsy me goes, “Didn’t you say y’all are dating?” When this guy says no and starts laughing and texting his army buddies, tipsy me doesn’t let it go gracefully.

I dug in and went off about how, well, I didn’t really know them, so how could I know that it wasn’t my job to know their personal lives, how it was a normal assumption, blah blah. I thoroughly embarrassed them and myself,

Basically, there were multiple points where I should have shrugged, but I just kept talking. Could not bring myself to talk to that coworker for the rest of my time at the job because even after all that, I STILL WANTED TO BRING IT UP AND KEEP APOLOGIZING.

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99. My Terrible Depth Perception

I’ve awful depth perception. And this one time, my friend and I were waiting to cross the road, and a bus was turning, and for some reason, I was convinced that it was gonna hit us.

So I grabbed my friend to try and save her but ended up just cupping her boob. While the bus didn’t hit us and all the passengers just stared at this weird kid cupping this girl’s boob. Who then started beating on me with her backpack once she got over the shock. I still think I saved her life, though.

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100. The Nice Guy

I ran into an old co-worker at McDonald’s, our tenures had overlapped by about a month, and that was several years ago. He recognizes me and calls me over to his friends, and tells them, “This is the nicest guy I have ever met”.

In the next three minutes, I called him by the wrong name and asked him how he liked a job he’d never worked at. It was pretty clear that I hardly remembered him.

I was so embarrassed that I got my McDonald’s and ate it in my car. I’m midway through my burger when him and his friends walk up and get into the car directly facing mine. We made awkward eye contact while I had my food in my hand, and then they drove off.

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101. Long Hair Problems

When I was younger, I grew my hair out longer and didn’t really do anything with it. Because of this and my name, I would get mistaken for a girl when people first meet me and/or in public spaces.

One time, my family and I went out to lunch when I was, say, maybe, 8. We go to this local place, somewhere that we haven’t been to before, though. At one point, I have to go use the bathroom.

Ask my dad where it is, he points to it as we were pretty close, and I go wait outside of it (they were single-person bathrooms). About 30 seconds after, some big old guy (maybe 50s) comes up and stands behind me, to stand in line for the bathroom.

A few seconds later, he taps me on the shoulder and says to me, “This is the boys’ bathroom. The girls’ is over there.” My dad saw/heard him say this and told him that I was a guy. I wanted to die.

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102. No Underwear

When I was around 13 or 14 years old, I got invited over to a friend’s house to play on their trampoline. I made the very poor choice of wearing a tight pair of dress pants.

I and three others spent the better part of the afternoon jumping on that trampoline. I remember at one point doing a perfect air split and getting a weird face from one of the other girls that came over. Didn’t think anything of it at the time.

Later, we were all sitting criss-cross style on the trampoline and chatting. That same girl from before turned to me and said, “Um… are you wearing underwear?”

I forgot to mention that I was going through a weird stage where I didn’t wear underwear unless I had a dress or skirt on. So there I was, with a HUGE split in my dress pants from jumping on the trampoline and no underwear to cover up… basically spread eagle for all to see.

Everyone laughed at me, and I was never invited over again. I remember leaving with a beach towel wrapped around my waist. Thankfully no one really teased me about it at school, but I still think about it every time I put underwear on.

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103. Wrong Woman

I’m a reserved and quiet guy. Occasionally I do something silly, which is out of character for me because it makes my wife laugh. So we’re at a huge bookstore, we split up, and I’m looking at a shelf of books.

Through a gap in the shelf, I recognize my wife’s outfit on the other side. Just then, the overhead music launched into a wailing guitar solo, so I decided to be funny: I jumped out from behind the shelf, eyes clamped shut, face screwed up in an impression of concentration, one hand up by my face, the other by my waist, fingers wiggling as I pulled the fiercest air guitar I could manage.

I let it go on for a few seconds before I realized I wasn’t getting a laugh. I opened my eyes, and it wasn’t my wife, just a similarly-dressed woman staring at me in horror and clutching her purse as if this was the prelude to some new type of mugging.

I turned around and walked out of the store immediately, my entire face red and burning. I got to the car and texted the wife, “I’ll be waiting at the car, come out whenever, I’ll explain later.” I have not been back to that bookstore since.

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104. The Naked Guy

When I was 11 or 12, I accidentally walked into the public swimming pool house completely naked. I had just left the pool to go take a shower and forgot to tell my friend something.

So after dropping my shorts and stepping under the shower, I decided to run back and tell him, utterly oblivious to the fact that I was now naked. There must have been 30-40 people staring and laughing at me. I wanted to die. Today it’s a funny story, lol.

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105. The Server Wasn’t Impressed

I was having weekend lunch with my boyfriend at a little restaurant several years ago. The happy hour special was buy one get one, so I ordered a rum and coke and a whiskey and coke.

We were seated at a high, round table next to a window and had been kind of joking around with the server. We had a nice rapport going. I drank about half of the first beverage, with the second sitting next to it. It’s important to note that I was not tipsy whatsoever.

I happened to gesticulate a lot while talking and was in the midst of an animated conversation with my boyfriend when I flailed the full glass of whiskey and coke right into the windowsill, where it shattered all over us.

We tried to help clean up, and I apologized profusely, but the server was suddenly (and understandably) very grim. I’m certain she thought that half of one drink had done me in, and I was incapable of holding my liquor. We left rather quickly, and I feel that I disappointed her more than anything.

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106. Poor Lady

I had just got off the train to work and was strolling up the hill to the office when I felt a pressing urge to let one fly.

There was no one around, so I let ‘er rip figuring it wouldn’t be anything too out of the ordinary. But I miscalculated badly. It was a much bigger proposition than I’d thought it’d be. It was enormous. Loud, raucous, a true dog-frightener.

I was just in the process of congratulating myself on birthing such a monster without even breaking stride when a small woman, all dressed for the office, went hurrying by, her stilettos tack-tack-tacking on the concrete path.

The realization didn’t really hit me for about five seconds, but she would have been only a pace or two behind me when I let fly, and she was obviously hurrying to put as much distance between me and her as humanly possible.

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107. I Embarrassed Myself 

I was on a meet-up with some friends, and we were planning on drinking. As soon as I arrived, I started drinking. I have a really bad tolerance for alcohol, so I got drunk really fast, I wasn’t the only one drunk there, but I was the drunkest.

We went out to the park, and there I drank more and got really drunk. There I kissed my (16F) friend. We went back to the house of one of the groups, and while going there, I fell to the ground. I was very unconscious.

An hour later, after arriving, I was still very drunk and I tried to kiss almost everyone, but asking for consent, not just doing it. Some minutes later, I choked someone (not really trying to kill them or anything like that) for recording me.

I also cut myself playing with a knife some minutes after that. I don’t remember much of what happened though. My friends don’t talk to me anymore and ignore me, even the friends that weren’t there. 

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108. Great Night For Coming

My parents owned a really cool company where we went to different park districts in the Midwest and set up inflatable drive-in movie theatre screens and put on movies for local communities! It was super amazing.

One of my responsibilities as a manager was to make announcements over the PA system (movie starting in a few minutes, intermission, thank the sponsors, and of course, the thank you).

One night, I was doing the thank you. Before I tell the end of the story, please remember that I was surrounded by young families with their young children.

And you know how sometimes you debate between what to say in your head? I was debating between “Thanks for coming!” and “Have a great night!”Instead, in front of 3,000 people, I announced, “It’s a great night for coming!” Hopefully, someone did.

But I’ve never heard so many people laugh so hard at my expense since my birth.

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109. Snapchat Story

Junior year in HS, I had a girlfriend, was on vacation in Hawaii over spring break, and we were sending some not totally appropriate pics/vids over Snapchat.

The button to post to your story and the button to send to your top friend were right next to each other, and I accidentally hit my story instead of sending it to my girl.

Didn’t notice for 15 minutes until one of my guy friends responded to it, “Whatcha doin there, buddy?” and then I got teased in the group chat for a couple of days straight. I decided to never use Snapchat for that again and it ruined the whole day of my vacation.

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110. Horror Story

In middle school, I won a writing competition, and the second-place guy came up to me, and I saw that he was trying to shake my hand.

Unfortunately, all I was mentally prepared for was a high five, so I ended up slapping his hand sideways. At that moment, I realized what I did, so I gave a quick bye and high-tailed it out of the classroom.

A good addition to this is that the competition was for a scary story. The teacher said that it was fine to use gore and that we wouldn’t get in trouble. I took this as a challenge. I thought everyone else would too.

No one else did. So there I am in class, reading the part describing the scraps of flesh when I felt the need to look up. Bad idea, all of my classmates were staring at me slackjawed in silence. 

Wide eyes and everything. Their expressions were so funny that I couldn’t help myself when I started laughing. I still can’t believe that I giggled in class while reading about a dismembered body.

They must have thought I was really crazy. I still don’t think the story was bad enough to deserve that reaction, but I think it might have been the clash with my personality that did it.

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111. My Aunt

I was walking to school (I was in second grade) with my mother one day, and a woman who I thought was my aunt started walking towards us, so I shouted her name, ran over to her, and gave her a hug.

It turns out it wasn’t actually my aunt but some random woman. I didn’t know what to do in that situation, so I just said nothing and awkwardly walked away.

A few weeks later, I made a new best friend, and I wanted to go over to his house to play. When we arrived, we knocked on the door, and my heart sank when I saw who opened it.

Turns out my best friend’s mother is the woman who I had mistaken for my aunt. I had to live with that embarrassment for the next few months.

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112. I Wanted To Die

I was enlisting in the Navy, I had to go for a drug test, the lady comes into the bathroom with you and watches you pee.

I pulled down my pants, and I had gotten my period. Bad, it was all over. I was mortified, I asked the lady if she had a pad or tampon, and she said no. I rolled up some toilet paper and stuck it in my underwear.

The next thing we had to do was strip down to our bras and underwear (15 females in the room) and do stretches, bends, and duck walks (look it up). I had on bloody underwear with toilet paper stuffed in them. Everyone saw. Everyone thought I was gross. I wanted to die.

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113. When I Was In College

So while I’m at college, we are all they’re watching TV, playing video games, and such.

When my suite mate gets a phone call from his GF, and she says that she needs to be let into our building, but he’s in the middle of a game, so we can’t go get her, so I instead offer, good guy idea, right?

Well, I get up to the door, and she’s with this other guy who is her friend and that she’s introducing to us! So I let her in, and she introduces me to her friend, so, of course, I am polite, and I go, “Hey man, nice to meet you!” And reach out to shake his hand.

He just stares at me, confused and kind of in shock. It was at this moment that I looked down and realized he has some type of deformity, and his hands are basically knobs with skeleton fleshy zombie fingers.

I just kinda looked back up at him with an “Oh, oops” look. Before I could say anything, he reaches one of his little arms out, shakes my hand, and places it in the center of my left palm.

Being a man of rational thought, I wrapped my first and second finger along with my thumb and proceeded to give the worst handshake in the history of mankind.

Then I showed them the room. Turning my back and just dying inside with guilt and regret. Afterwards when my buddy’s girlfriend and I were alone, I rented to her about not letting me know beforehand (no pun intended).

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114. My Skirt Got Stuck

On a hot summer day, I got all dressed up to meet my SO at their work downtown to go out and eat a nice dinner. I don’t drive, so to get downtown involved 1.5 hours of walking and several transit transfers. It was the height of tourist season, and lots of people were everywhere.

I finally get downtown and, after another 15 minutes of walking, was just rounding the bend to my SO’s work when an elderly man caught my attention. “Miss, I think your skirt is stuck.”

I didn’t know what he meant as I was in the middle of a sidewalk, but I reached behind and was instantly mortified. The whole back of my dress was caught in my underwear the entire trip!

That is 1.5 hours of flashing a full view of my ass in date night undies to everyone on the street and in transit. The weather was so hot I didn’t notice. I’m pissed no one bothered to tell me, and so thankful that little old chap let me know.

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115. Toilet Paper 

When I was 16, I went to a waterpark with slides and pools and all with my uncle and two younger cousins. I wore a regular bikini and went swimming in some pools with my cousins for about 40 minutes.

We then went to this big slide thing, and after that, we got in line to do an even bigger one with my uncle too. As I’m standing in line, I hear some teenagers laugh behind me, and I turned around to see one of them pointing at me and quickly stop as they saw me stare back.

I then looked down. I had bits of wet, white toilet paper all down my legs. When I was a teenager, I used to always fold toilet paper and put it in my underwear to prevent discharge from staining them.

I must have done it automatically and forgot I was wearing a bathing suit. I have never felt so exposed and ashamed in my life. There wasn’t just a little bit. I started trying to get it off, but there was always more.

I tried to play it cool as I was chatting to my uncle, and I know for a fact he noticed because he always notices little things, but thankfully he never said a word.

We are not that close, which made it all the more awkward, along with the fact I was touching my crotch way too much. I was paranoid for the rest of the day for there to be more.

Content BelowWords Count:253Grade Level:BADSentence Count:15

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116. The Worst Moment Of My Life

Worked as a receptionist. Part of the job was making tea and coffee for meetings. One day a meeting started much earlier than expected, with the guests already starting before the tea and coffee were on the table.

I was crazy busy, so I was super late bringing the refreshments. Two gallons of coffee, sorted. Two gallons of tea, sorted. The final step was to bring the milk, sugar, and biscuits. Still rushing, I brought it all on one tray…

At the last second, I accidentally tipped the milk jug off the tray, upside down, directly into a manager’s expensive handbag (or ‘purse’ if you’re American). Drowned her iPhone, iPad Mini, and god knows how much work in half a gallon of milk. Felt like shooting myself immediately.

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117. On The Plane

Fell asleep on a plane one time, and I had the aisle seat. I did that thing where you jump into your dream and jerked myself awake.

Only when I jumped my legs flew out, and one of them flew into the aisle. I tripped the flight attendant, and she went down like a ton of bricks. I sheepishly apologized to her, but she was not happy at all.

Everyone on the flight looked at me like I was the biggest bitch on earth. The rest of the flight was terrible. I kept my head down and didn’t make a peep.

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118. Happy Birthday Julie

I was rehired at a job after six years, and most people still there remembered me and were happy to see me back. Friday rolls around, and someone goes, “Dave…come by the break room!”

I wander in, and there’s this cake at the end of the table, and everyone is standing there. So I said, “You guys!” and blew out the candle, not noticing it said, “Happy Birthday Julie.”

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119. Father And Son

When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I used to work at a movie theater, serving popcorn behind the counter.

I often made small talk with customers, asking what movie they were seeing and chatting about their dinner, etc. Well, this one time, two men came in together, and they looked really similar, only one was clearly much older than the other.

So, making small talk, and I’m still not sure why I thought this was even good small talk, I asked them in a friendly way, “Are you guys father and son?”

Their smiles instantly faded, and they looked really embarrassed and gave me a short “Uh, no..” As I was scooping their popcorn. I could see that they were actually on a date, and I was mortified for calling attention to the age difference (which, to me, isn’t even a big deal anyway, but I didn’t mean to make them uncomfortable about it).

I tried to explain myself, like, “I’m so sorry, you guys just looked like the spitting image of each other…” but the damage was done. Never have I wanted to cram my foot farther into my mouth. I still think about it sometimes and feel embarrassed and guilty.

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