1. Wait Till The Body's Cold
I usually like living in HOAs and the ones I’ve lived in have been decent but my parents HOA is insane. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer and began his chemo, he became too weak to walk. My parents installed a ramp at the front door so he could get his wheelchair into the house.
Their neighbor, the HOA president, went crazy. She demanded doctor’s notes, appointment slips, and that my dad prove to the neighborhood that he could walk and was lying.
My dad was too weak to do anything and mom is too passive so I had to step in. I threatened to lawyer up and sue her personally. She eventually backed down.
My dad passed away in April and a week after, she came banging at our door saying she saw the funeral home come and pick my dad up and that we need to take the ramp down now “that he’s finally dead.” (Her exact words.) At that point, I called the police right in front of her to report her for stalking and harassment.
I moved in with my mom and now every time this woman sees me, she runs back into her house. On another note, she follows neighborhood kids home from school asking their names and where they live because she wants to know if “they really live there” and my neighbors and I have caught her many times looking into our backyards.
mshistories
2. My Property
My parents live in an HOA neighborhood. It didn't have a ton of rules or restrictions so they moved in. One of their main rules is you can't have a camper visible from the street. In the county they live in you can't have a camper parked in front of the house (basically the front door is considered the front of the house).
They knew this going into the house, so first month they had poured a driveway addition that ran to the side of their house and into the back yard.
Their house is at the end of the street so you can only see this camper I'd you walk into their side yard.
Once HOA sent my dad a pic that someone took standing in his yard. He copied the county's trespassing laws and gun defense laws to a letter and forwarded it to the HOA. He hasn't heard from them since then.
WillieMunchright
3. Wrong Color
We had a cookie-cutter house built. One of the color palettes we could choose from included an accent color for the door/shutters that was a dark purple. The hubs and I are a little kooky so we selected it.
At our final walkthrough, our door and shutters are brown. I tell the general that it’s wrong and show him my contract. We were the only homeowners in the subdivision that selected that color, so the HOA decided to not offer it anymore.
We said fine, that puts you in breach of contract and we want to be released. A few phone calls later, my door and shutters are purple and I’m happy.
We purchased the house. At least once a year we got a nasty letter from the HOA about our “unapproved door color.”
Every time I sent them a copy of my contract and their bylaws stating that the colors from the builder are allowed. Not my problem, you guys discontinued it after I picked it.
BlondieeAggiee
4. HOA Emergency
I work in emergency services. I’ve had HOA board members try telling me we could idle our fire engine or park our ambulance “there” as if I’d know the rules. I don’t understand how they fret over these kinds of things when people’s lives are in danger.
I’m usually professional but the second time they tried to complain about the fire engine idling I responded along the lines of “Go screw yourself. I don’t care what your bylaws say. Article 300 of Michigan traffic code says I can park wherever the heck I want.”
We were there for a family with carbon monoxide poisoning and I truly didn’t care about anything else at that moment. We had crews up and down the road to treat and transport the entire family. Luckily, everyone got out alive and well.
pokemon-gangbang
5. Forgery
When my parents bought the house I grew up in during the early 90's, they got a letter in the mail saying that they hadn't paid their dues for the HOA. They took the letter into the office and asked what fees they were referring to.
The office lady was really rude and pulled out a piece of paper saying that my parents had signed a contract and they were legally obligated to pay their monthly dues and follow the rules blah blah Karen Karen blah.
Well, when my parents looked at the sheet they supposedly signed, it wasn't their signatures. Their names, not their signatures.
Someone at the HOA had forged the paperwork, presumably because they'd forgotten to get it signed. Needless to say, the contract was void and my parents refused to sign a new one.
They were one of about 5 houses that they'd done this to in the neighborhood, one of which was our nextdoor neighbors. About 3 houses to this day still don't have signed contracts including theirs, and they get to do whatever the heck they want with their house, to the immense frustration of the HOA.
puff_pastry_1307
6. Just Some Repairs
When I was a kid my parents had a house in a nice cul-de-sac, but it was a working class neighborhood. The transmission in my truck took a doo doo so I replaced it in our driveway. I didn’t even think that this could be a problem, but I guess HOA thought differently.
A few days later we got a letter citing a clause stating all improvements done on property must be done by a licensed contractor.
It was a far reach but they stood by it as there was nothing in the CC&Rs against working on personal vehicles.
My dad made me pay him back for the fine but for a while afterwards I’d go put some oil or coolant under the HOA president's cars and hope he was wasting money chasing a nonexistent problem.
cantuseasingleone
7. Engineers, Can’t Mess With Them
We had this one strange guy in our neighborhood who liked to build strange things in his house. Well I guess one day he decided to take his hobby outside and build a tree house in his backyard. Our HOA president was a city councilman at the time, and he was not happy in the slightest.
This literally turned into a two year dispute where the HOA would keep asking him to add safety measures to the structure in hopes that he would eventually give up, and dismantle the tree house.
Eventually, the HOA told him that he would have to have the plans signed and stamped by a qualified engineer saying that the structure was safe.
At the next meeting, he handed in the blueprints signed and stamped by no other than himself. That was a great meeting. It turns out that he had a PhD in civil engineering, and there was only one guy in the room that didn't find it funny.
Furlessxp
8. Payment Dispute
A few months after buying my home, I received a snotty letter from the property manager stating that I hadn't been paying my fees and that they were going to take legal action. I checked my bank statement, and the cheques had cleared.
I wrote back to the property manager, told him that the tone of his letter was extreme for a first letter for a minor issue and not appreciated.
I also included duplicate copies of the cheques and stated that I had verified with my bank that they had all cleared. I also copied the 8 board members (and included the snotty letter from the property manager).
The next evening, the board president stopped by and apologized. The board agreed that the property manager's letter was inappropriate and that they would speak with him. Two weeks later, a notice was posted in the community building that the property management company had been dismissed and that the board had selected a new one.
Apart from that, nothing much exciting. They didn't like how I had run an antenna cable up the back of the house (admittedly it was a bit sloppy), so they sent the maintenance guy over to offer me guidance on their standards and he helped me clean it up.
outbound
9. You Can’t Park Here
The HOA at my parents' old condo decided to ban the use of parking spaces indefinitely. People assumed they were being repainted or something, but eventually it was discovered that the jerks on the board thought the complex would "look nicer" if everyone parked on the road.
But of course, the two parking lots next to the board members house weren't closed.
Changing the HOA rules was intentionally set up to be difficult. Meetings could only be held at 11:00AM on workdays, all adult residents of a house had to be present or that house's vote/input was invalid, stuff like that.
In protest, people made sure the lots by the board members were constantly filled with cars so they would have to park on the road too.
Eventually it culminated with the board illegally towing a bunch of cars. They wrote a new rule about how long cars could be parked in spaces and posted a notice on every door in the complex.
The new rule was no car could be parked in the same spot for more than 48 hours, but they decided that the timer was retroactive, and on the very morning the rule was made and immediately started towing any car that had been in a space for the previous two days.
The condo complex where I grew up was composed almost entirely of low income Mexican immigrants/illegals, and low income white trash meth heads. Half the cars towed were either custom lowriders or custom trucks/jeeps.
A bunch of the lowriders were damaged in the process of towing, and one of the jeeps straight up went missing, apparently stolen by or from the tow company. A tow company, incidentally, later found out to be owned by a board member's brother…
I was just a kid, and only got the full story much later in life, but all the members of the HOA board got the crap beaten out of them, and had their cars stolen and intentionally wrecked. The way it was explained to me was that they were left on the board, but told their rule-making days were done.
But hey, silver lining, the racial divide that used to split the complex in two basically disappeared after that. The Mexicans started inviting us to their giant picnics and the whites started inviting them to game night keggers.
Apparently the secret to race relations is forming a biracial mob and beating people up.
Null_Reference_
10. Run From HOA
I live in a neighborhood that has a $1 / month HOA because we have a shared drive with an area drain. That money goes to emptying the area drain every couple of years. The CC&Rs are very laid back / there are no rules so I [wrongfully] assumed that would be the experience living here.
The HOA president (the guy who schedules the area drains being emptied) is a Boomer on a power trip. He is in my business about everything. I got a new furnace and he threatened to sue me because the utility company had to use the driveway.
I scheduled a specialty garbage pickup with my garbage company and he called me screaming that I put garbage out in front of my house that morning.
I have a retaining wall in front of my house and he came by and yelled at me for cleaning it. The list goes on and on. Total nightmare experience and I will never live somewhere with an HOA of any kind ever again.
Inconspicuousness
11. Bend The Rules
When I was younger, my dad started a limousine service. Before the company got big enough for its own office space and multiple limos, he'd bring his one limo to our home (detached condos with a HOA) to clean and stock and sometimes leave it overnight when it was needed for a job. It lived in a storage lot the rest of the time.
The presence of a limousine in the neighborhood was apparently distracting to the people on the board, so they passed a rule that you couldn't have a vehicle longer than X feet parked in front of your house overnight.
Then the main old guy on the HOA board got a huge RV that he would leave in front of his house for days at a time, so they got rid of the vehicle size rule and replaced it with a rule forbidding vehicles that advertised a business (the limo had a decal on the drivers side door with the name of my dad's limo company and the phone number).
Then someone else on the board started a landscaping company and had a pickup truck with the name of the landscaping company on the side, so they changed the rule to only allow such vehicles to be in your driveway, not parked on the street (since the pickup could fit in the owner's driveway, but a limo couldn't fit in ours).
Basically, rather than just make a "no limos" rule, they kept making rules that disallowed limos, and then kept changing it when it would accidentally apply to anything but a limo.
wierdaaron
12. Victory Flag
I love reading contracts and agreements so when a friend of mine told me about his HOA troubles and not letting him keep his boat behind his house, I jumped on the opportunity. After reading, sourcing and finding a few rulings I learned that they have very little power to enforce what they can’t see from the road (which affects property value).
He took my documentation to the HOA and requested that they remove his fines. They refused saying “the agreement says nag nag nag” and after a few months he finally paid a real estate lawyer $2000 to go talk circles around the HOA and they finally backed down, removed his fines and allowed him to keep his boat.
Then out of pure spite and with my design we built a 40’ tall “temporary” structure, conforming to both the HOA agreement and building code to fly a flag on a further 25’ pole.
We took it down and put it back up every 3 months for a year. You could see it from almost anywhere in the neighborhood. It was a real triumph and IT WAS HIDEOUS!!
taylorm92
13. Only One Left
My long-time neighbors were the first to move into the neighborhood where we live some 30-40 years ago. Their home was the first finished and sold. They had 8 kids at the time. The husband was out putting up an old school cable antenna on the chimney.
While on his roof a man (the developer) came up and said,
Man: "Hey! you can't put that up there, it's against the homeowners rules!"
He looked down at him confused and said:
Neighbor: "Are there any other members of the homeowners association?"
Man: "Well no.."
Neighbor: "Then I hereby disband the association. The vote passes unanimously. Now get off my lawn." Saved us all a lot of trouble.
ficus_tree
14. Only Troubles
My sister bought a house in an HOA neighborhood 3 years ago. To be fair, none of us are super familiar with HOAs since none of us had ever lived in one and my sister was told the HOA fees were just for lawn upkeep and snow removal. The realtor who showed her the house said that the HOA really didn't get involved in anything except for doing the lawns, removing snow and trimming weeds.
The whole experience has been an "I'll never live in an HOA again" story for my sister. The trouble started pretty much the second she moved in there. The first issue was the electrical not working. My dad (RIP) was a master electrician so went over there to troubleshoot and fix the issues.
He was over there working on some rewiring and one of the HOA board members came up and asked him what he was doing. My dad told her he was fixing the electric. The HOA board member had a fit about my dad having a small red toolbox out on the porch. My dad got back in her face and she went off in a huff.
Second issue was my sister planting some roses.
The roses were the wrong color — only pink, white, or light peach roses were allowed. My sister had committed the cardinal sin of planting red roses! The HOA flipped out and demanded she remove them and fined her for it.
Another dumb issue was a citation for her teenage (at the time) daughter 'loitering with a group' on the front steps. Her daughter had been standing on the steps for a few moments talking with another girl and exchanging phone numbers.
My sister has always been a person to do what she wants so you can imagine this went over really, really poorly. She painted her door bright blue out of anger. She rips up the notices of fines and leaves them in the HOA president's mailbox.
She has the house on the market and has another picked out. She is supposed to hear this week if she is approved for it or not.
jjellison319
15. Betrayal
When we were privately renting in a townhome community the dumpster had video surveillance so that the HOA could fine anyone breaking the rules as far as what we were allowed to dump. One day both myself and SO get an annoying call from our property manager alerting us that HOA has fined us $250 for illegal dumping, the property owner will have to pay it and we will have to reimburse him.
After racking our brains about what we could have possibly thrown out that wasn't allowed, we decided to call up the HOA to see if we could see the video.
They would either transfer us to someone else that would hang up, or their hours would change to where no one would answer the phone, or they'd promise to get the video to us the next day, etc. This went on for about 2 weeks.
Finally my SO got to see the video while I was at work. I texted him to find out what was on it and he said the video was of a middle aged asian lady throwing out a bunch of furniture. It was the stupid property owner's freaking wife.
silver_fawn
16. No More HOA Dictatorship
My former HOA threatened to take me to court over the color of a light bulb inside of my condo. They claimed that the color of a bulb inside my unit altered the exterior appearance of the building. I'd had Philips Hue lights for probably over a year without issue.
Then my neighbor left their Christmas lights well past new year’s and received a complaint about it. Next thing I knew someone complained about my Hue lights. I switched them to white. I could have won in court, but it wasn't worth angering a bunch of petty jerks who have nothing better to do than to sit on an HOA board.
Anyway, the association wanted to add a new amendment that allowed them to sue anyone over anything they deemed a "nuisance."
They brought in their lawyer for a question and answer session.
I asked if the color of my neighbors lights could be considered a nuisance, he clarified that it had to be a bigger concern.
I followed up asking if we could claim that my neighbor had altered the exterior appearance of the building, he laughed and said no dismissively. So by that point their lawyer had already admitted their case was unwinnable, and he'd said earlier in the meeting a big part of his job was to keep the association from taking an unwinnable case to court.
So the lights were whatever color I wanted them to be from then on.
I now live in a neighborhood without an HOA. Sometimes a neighbor's grass is a bit high and another neighbor just built a patio in the front yard and sometimes people put trash out a couple days before the city says they can and nobody says anything; it's wonderful.
tacojohn48
17. Morning Visitor
It's 6:30 AM, and my cats are going nuts, and I realize someone is in my backyard. At the time I worked as a bouncer and very frequently got the "I'm going to come to your house" type threats. I live in the same HOA (albeit a huge one) as a bunch of the nasty customers.
My sliding door starts jiggling. I grab a gun, and throw open the blinds. Outside, on my porch is a freaking old man. I start screaming, make him get on his knees and call the cops.
Lo and behold, he's an "inspector" from my HOA, there because a neighbor reported me cutting down a half dead tree that was about to fall on my house. "Town" cops show up.
They are actual police, but only work in the HOA. They are not happy with me, but because I said the right words on the 911 call, the county sheriffs also show up. They basically have an argument with the local cops about the fact that being a HOA inspector doesn't allow you to come onto someone's enclosed deck and that since I didn't physically attack the inspector, I didn't commit a crime.
We spend all morning going back and forth, finally, we basically agree to a "everyone go home" agreement. HOA sends me a strongly worded letter.
MaverickDago
18. No Gaps
Garage doors have to be closed all the way when closed with no gaps. The dumb part is that this rule was added because of me. I used to drive a tow truck and was often on call at night. There was already a rule that commercial vehicles couldn't be parked in the driveway or on the street.
Okay, fair enough, I'll park it in the garage. It wouldn't quite fit with the boom, so I'd lower the forks down and close the garage door on them. It wasn't too much longer after that everybody got a notice of the rule change and I had to park about a mile away after that.
The really dumb part is that when I confronted one of the board members about it, she claimed that had always been the rule and I knew about it when I moved in.
Stuck to her story even when I showed her the letter of the rule change. Eventually, everyone got sick of that kind of thing and elected a new board, but I'd already quit that job so it was a small victory at best.
coprolite_hobbyist
19. Constant Caller
A week after moving in I received a letter from mine saying I was spotted not cleaning up after my dog in the common area. That was a blatant lie. Every single time he pooped there it was picked up. I didn't have roommates at the time so there was no way it could have been someone else.
The fine would be $100 fine after the first warning and $150 after that. I wrote back telling them I didn't appreciate being lied to and accused and that was not the way to welcome me to the neighborhood.
I went on to inform them that if it happens again and they provide no evidence to back their claims, they will be hearing from my lawyer. They would do that to everyone that moved in with a dog.
They constantly made up special rules about parking depending on who it was for. We couldn't park on the road at all. Others could.
Brought that up to them and then called the President any time I saw a car parked. He didn't like the constant calls. I started parking on the street and when he said something, I told him to leave and have the same rules for everyone or stfu. He stfu about it.
They would complain about the backyard, that could only be seen if you purposely went out of your way to look. They said they had to keep the community looking beautiful. I asked why there's always trash not picked up and little liquor bottles everywhere... Why weren't they picked up on his beauty walks?
No answer. I made it a point to pick out every little thing in his yard and called him to report him. He didn't like that. Told him to stop coming to me or I'm getting my lawyer because he is singling out this house and it's going to end now or he's going to be paying for the consequences.
haystackofneedles
20. Don’t Touch My Stuff
We live in a HOA neighborhood and had a neighbor trying to sell his house a few years ago. I kept my trash cans by my garage (they aren't ratty looking or stinky, they looked brand new) and noticed when I'd come home, they were gone. After looking around, I found them behind my fence in my lawn.
This happened three times in a week, so after that, I got mad and thought someone was messing with me.
I went to the hardware store and got the largest chain and padlock I could find, and started chaining them to the post on my front porch. My neighbor is outside and I say "Hey Craig, you wouldn't happen to know what keeps happening to my trash cans?"
Apparently he scoured the HOA rule book, and found out they are required to be out of sight except on trash day. He thought my trash cans being visible is why he was having a hard time selling his insanely overpriced house in a crap market and was moving them himself.
Never talked to me, never got a notice from the HOA.
I chewed his butt out and told him he's a freaking child and should know better than to repeatedly come on to my property and mess with my stuff without my knowledge, at over 40yrs old. Trash cans or not, it's my stuff, property, land, fence, and lawn.
username2256
21. X-Ray
Forcing older and /or somewhat handicapped dog owners to produce a doctor's note stating they are unable to use the stairs because of a rule of no dogs in the condo's elevator. That’s very unethical. They were bullying the weak.
Not because of potentially vicious dogs in an elevator cab. It was because they felt that people's dogs were leaving a mess and they weren't cleaning it up (which I never experienced).
The dogs, by that rationale, could still leave a mess not cleaned up in a stairwell or hall.
I sent the board an X-ray of my knee with screws in it to avoid a $500 fine. That got hit down with a threat of an ADA lawsuit. Now anyone can use it. It’s stupid things like that that just make people hate and avoid HOA.
bearcub42
22. Stolen Toilet
When my family moved away from my family's ranch we went to a trailer park for a while then into an actual house we wound up in a neighborhood that had an HOA. My dad refused to sign their contract because he is red-blooded, American, RedNeck. Everything was good until they tried to tell him how to manage his household.
This happened in a place where you actually aren't obligated to obey the HOA unless they have you on contract. We ticked them off because we refused to pay dues. This prompted the HOA President to do everything they could to make us decide paying the dues was easier than dealing with their crap.
They told him that we couldn't keep our cars in our driveway, they had to be in the garage. The problem is, we had my dad's car, mom's car, my car, and the work truck but only a 2 car garage. But my father is a patient and accommodating man. So we moved our cars to the street.
They tried to get onto him for that, so we parked in the front yard.
They then tried to come at him with the contract and tell him to sell 2 of the vehicles. His response: "I ain't signed crap! Get the heck off my property!" And thus the war between the HOA and House Playpen began.
My mom wanted a garden like we had back at the ranch, so my dad grabbed my brother and I and we went to Home depot to get supplies. We come back and start doing the prep-work and some guy comes up and asks what we're doing.
"Building a garden. I'm gonna put some raised boxes up with some shelves over by the door and line the rest of the front with flowerbeds. What d'you think?" The guy says he thinks it sounds alright and walks away, we get to work.
15 minutes later my mom comes out and says she had the HOA President on the line, dad tells her to tell the president to leave. Next they come over to tell him he has to have landscaping projects approved by the HOA.
After a short argument my dad reverts to his military personality and yells "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" At which point Mr. HOA chose not to press the issue.
We had lived there about 8 months and other things had happened but this was the first time they called the police. We were packing up to go hunting. It was a Friday evening, and we put our rifles in the gun rack on the work truck and started moving back and forth from the house bringing all our gear and supplies.
As we're going over the checklist one last time just to make sure, a police car pulls up and tells my dad they got a call about armed men robbing a house.
My dad explains the situation and the officer goes to get in his car and leave when this lady (who turns out to be the HOA Pres's wife, they lived down the street a ways) comes out and asks the officer why he isn't doing anything.
She insists that he can't just let us carry weapons around. She gets more and more upset as the officer explains that the weapons are safely stored for transport, it's our private residence so we actually can carry them, and my father is licensed to carry anyways.
At this point she is starting to annoy my dad who tells her "Linda, you are trespassing right now and if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: stay the heck off my property." At which point the police officer told us all to calm down, and sent Mrs HOA back home and us on our way.
A few more months go by, we've been there about a year and we're remodeling about half the house over the summer. They have called the police on us for nothing enough times that the police are actually on our side.
We were working on a bathroom and pulled the toilet out and put it by the curb with the trash. The trash collectors came and took everything but the toilet.
Fair is fair, it was definitely over the weight limit. We call the city and ask how to get rid of it and basically we have to take it to the dump ourselves. We figure we'll get it when we take the copper and tile and get back to work.
About an hour later there's a knock on the door. Dad opens it to none other than Mr. and Mrs. HOA. They tell us we can't leave the toilet on the street. My dad tells them he understands, he'll move it when we're done working for the day.
This is not good enough. They demand we move the toilet THIS INSTANT! "Okay" my dad says, and then has me help him move the toilet.... and position it as the centerpiece of our yard. He told them the toilet would stay there as long as he liked. This time there was no yelling, not even a command to get off his property.
Only my 6'4" bearded, construction worker father, laughing his hat off at these two as they lost their minds. When they left, he made an 'out of order' sign for the toilet, took us for ice cream and we were done working for the day.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!! A few days later, I woke up to police sirens on the street. I get up and walk outside in my PJ's to see what's going on. And I saw a sight that brings a smile to my face to this day.
The police arresting Mr. and Mrs. HOA for attempted theft of a toilet as my father, clad in dog tags, combat boots, boxers, and a bathrobe stolen from Motel 6 smokes a cigarette and laughs from atop his porcelain throne.
[deleted]
23. HOA Karen
I've spent several years on the HOA board so I know when people complain about me...which helps immensely because they are too passive aggressive to actually confront you. It's not the fact that they hired an attorney to see if they could force my wife to close her business (no signs for business, no in person traffic...they just hate us) but how our official Karen has been with my kids.
When someone brought up that a kid had left a popsicle stick in their yard 2 weeks ago, I pointed out that it's not even something that can be dealt with after the fact and should never be an HOA concern but if they see my kids do something inappropriate like dropping something where it doesn't belong, to just tell them.
That was my fatal mistake. Karen made it her life's mission from that point on to follow my kids and watch them at all hours for the tiniest little thing and antagonize them.
When my child who is on the spectrum was playing with water balloons, she approached and dared him to throw one at her. He was 8 or 9 at the time. I wish he'd done it.
When the kids were sitting on the rock wall that divides my property from the neighbors, she made a huge stink about it because it was for sale and would keep buyers from being interested (it actually sold for 50k above asking price).
She blocks every design we submit for a fence for our new puppies so we integrated every design concept that she hated into movable planters with a temporary gate because there are no rules on landscaping and because we hate her....we know all the loopholes.
misterrandom1
24. Totally Useless
I went away for a long weekend and left after work on Thursday. Late Friday afternoon, my water heater burst (in the attic of a three story home) and flooded my entire townhouse. When my neighbor got home from work he saw gallons of water running from underneath my garage door.
When he realized I wasn’t home, he tried to find my phone number and when he couldn’t, he called the HOA to notify me.
The lady that answered said that since it was “after business hours (it was 5:01 at this point), the matter would have to wait until Monday.” My wonderful neighbor ended up calling the non-emergency police line and they came and shut my water off from the street.
When I got home Sunday morning, my entire house was damaged and I could see my attic from my basement.
After a massive panic attack and a frantic call to my insurance company, we started the process of repairs.
The cherry on top was that I needed to have a dumpster placed in my driveway and a moving pod to remove what was left of my furniture while they began drying out the house and I got a visit from the HOA.
They didn’t like how “unsightly” my home had become and wanted these items removed from my driveway. I essentially told them that they could take their complaints and go shove them somewhere.
I got a little revenge too because I stopped paying their stupid fee since they couldn’t fine me before six months and I was moving in less than five months. I’ll never own another home with a HOA ever again.
Dr_Bogart
25. Fighting Back
My HOA had a coup where half the board resigned on the spot, same day, and the three board members that were left handed management of our neighborhood over to some mega HOA corporation based out of LA.
Before the handoff was complete, the chairman of the board fired everyone that worked for the HOA, including our incredibly talented accountant who due to his experience kept our finances so tip top that we had a surplus of money and have never had our monthly dues raised in almost 15 years.
When we, the residents, demanded an explanation, the chairman refused by quoting an article from our HOA charter which gives the board the explicit right to manage the community however they see fit and without needed approval from the residents. He basically told us "I don't owe any of you an explanation, so suck it."
Now we are trying to overturn his decision to essentially give our neighborhood over to some terrible HOA management group that treats its residents horribly like an evil landlord would a tenant.
Oh, and the management group that we were given to is run by a man whose only formal education is a degree in Opera. And the accountant who has been assigned to manage my neighborhood's finances, does not have a degree in finance or business. She has a degree in ballet.
It is my opinion that our board was bribed into selling us to that management firm. Our community hired a lawyer and we are in the process of reversing what our board has done. If successful, we are going to rehire everyone they terminated and change the bylaws to prevent anyone from ever being able to do this again.
mrperson296
26. Captain Diesel
I rented a house in a HOA. It wasn’t too bad, just normal stuff, but every now and then some board members would tool around and hand out fines for dirty driveways and such. Wouldn’t have cared if the President and a board member didn’t live on the same street as me, and their driveways were in massive disrepair.
The board member’s son did some work on his truck and there was a massive oil spill, partly covered with a red towel that sat there for 8 months... while a few “rust colored” streaks on our concrete was worthy of a fine.
The funniest was when the HOA decided to install very aggressive speed bumps. The ones that were there previously were fine... graded to not be too jarring but required you slow down.
The only accident that occurred while we were there was the spouse of a HOA board member driving drunk and plowing into a tree, but there were always notices and mailings for people to slow down as “this is not a racetrack.”
I guess they felt adding in a couple of literal asphalt “curbs” in the middle of the street would “show people” who dared to drive over 10 mph on the main road. The only way over these things without feeling like you were going to break something on your car was to ease up the first side. Come to a complete stop.
Then slowly ease down the drop. Once for the front wheels, another for the rear.
Some people had just taken to driving on the grass around them, so they put up concrete barriers there. After a few weeks, someone decided to pour diesel fuel on the speed bumps the day before the garbage trucks did their rounds.
The Speed bumps got completely destroyed.
The HOA reinstalled the bumps, and somehow made them even more aggressive... and a week later, Captain Diesel struck again. They yanked them out again, and just paved over the holes. It was beautiful.
They did end up installing speed bumps a few months later, but they went with the stock plastic ones that bolt to the street. Which was much more preferable to the man-made Cliffs of Dover that were there previously.
Debaser626
27. Only Thieves
We wanted to stucco a block fence wall in our back and side yards. The front and anything visible to the street already was, but the inside of the backyard was just a plain block. We petitioned the architectural committee for our HOA and they said yes.
Submitted the plans and they said yes. She even emailed me saying it looked really great! We were using licensed professionals and had submitted their plans. Since there were no issues, and we got the ok, we went ahead and stuccoed the walls. A few years later, the HOA company had changed to another.
The new one was quite aggressive with notices and fines and they fined us for the terra cotta stucco of our backyard walls.
I submitted the explanation and emails from the previous HOA management company, showing that they approved it (and loved it!).
They responded basically saying they didn't give a hoot and we had to take it down. I cannot take the stucco down. What the heck! We had a beautiful backyard!
Actually they objected to the whole backyard, which was a gorgeous pool and golf putting green, but they acquiesced the rest and honed in on the stucco. I said no!! A year later we went to sell our house and they held up the whole thing for $7000. MFs stole $7000 from me.
I will never be in an HOA again!!
Trailerparkqueen
28. Childhood Ruined
I lived in a middle-class development of about 900 houses in Northern California. Our neighborhood/part of the development was unusual because people spent a lot of time outside, kids playing, people gardening, chatting etc. (Which is why we moved in there.)
I got a basketball hoop for my 12yo daughter. She and lots of neighborhood kids would use it. They all knew to call "car" and get out of the way immediately if a car was coming (neighborhood street, into the cul-de-sac... no through traffic). Sometimes us grown-ups would play too. A great situation.
Apparently some retiree had a habit of walking around the development and called the HOA on us, because basketball hoops weren't allowed. I knew of several other ones but I didn't want to mention them because I didn't want to give them trouble too.
And the HOA said I could only have a hoop if it was put "away" in the side yard when not in use. The 200-pound hoop was a bit beyond my daughter's ability to take out and put back..
Instead, I surveyed the 65 houses in our neighborhood, putting a slip of paper in everyone's mailbox -- "yes", I should be able to keep the hoop, or "no", I shouldn't. I kept their responses anonymous, because I didn't want anyone to feel pressured. I got 22 "yes" responses…
I went to the HOA meeting armed with my data. One of the Board members said, "so 2/3 of your neighborhood is against it!" I explained, my anger rising, that no, I'd only received responses from 1/3, and no one could know what the other 2/3 thought.
Then they said I would need to change the CC&Rs (basically, the association by-laws) -- which could only be done by a 2/3 "active" vote of the entire association. "Active" meaning I would need to get 600 "yes"-es... not just 2/3 of the people who voted.
I told them you couldn't get 600 people to bother voting yes for oxygen.
And I put away my basketball hoop. And, as it happened, my daughter stopped playing sports.
papadoob
29. Dog Boundaries
The head of my HOA has been watching me whenever I take my dog out. He literally waits by the window in the evenings to see if I take my dog onto the grass by the back of my apartment. I thought it was odd in the beginning, but I eventually figured out why.
This is communal grass, but I have checked the rules many times and NOWHERE does it state dogs aren't allowed on it. I've even seen him let his dog out on that grass and the dog will often do its business there when he's not watching.
He's left an anonymous, handwritten note taped to my door saying that he's seen me going out there and to stop. I know it's him because he has very distinct writing.
The next closest place is the park next door, which is closed after sundown, and park rangers have said not to use it in the dark. Turns out this HOA guy has basically forced all of the other dog owners to use that park anyways.
onmymccloud45
30. Fake HOA
The fake HOA in our neighborhood started off as a neighborly gesture. Cheap 75.00 a year. Cleared the roads, some Spring dumpsters, and a Summer BBQ. Then the bored housewife who had nothing better to do became President of the HOA. They had "elections", meetings, and of course raised the HOA fee 200%.
She talked about new street signs, new roads, sidewalls, and gates into the entrance of the neighborhood. Mind you our home was the original property back in the 1940s. I assume the owners sold off land for the homes around us.
No common areas, neighborhood pool, park, trails, NOTHING. I refused to pay or be any part of the little HOA club.
She called as I was "past due" on my HOA fees. I politely told her there is no HOA here that is why we bought this home. She asked if we use the roads and I said yes of course. Her response was well you need to pay to use my roads. I told her I do, it's called Property Tax. I asked her to NEVER contact me again.
Funny, some participate in the HOA. They just put in $15,000 worth of Stop signs. We have 5 intersections!! She wants to resurface the over 1 mile road now!! Good luck with that, I'll gladly be the one they hate who hangs her laundry out to dry!! Do NOT buy in an HOA!!
conniedew
31. Historically Accurate
My parents bought a home that was this awful faded gray that really needed to be repainted. My mom thought a nice light, gray blue would be a refreshing choice because everything else in the neighborhood was either that same shade of gray or red brick.
The house was also a colonial revival if I'm remembering correctly, and that's not exactly an unusual color to paint them.
The HOA rejected the color, point blank said only some "crass Texan" would want to paint their house blue, and told her to come back with an appropriate color choice. They also reminded her that the bylaws specifically stated "any historically accurate color" was acceptable, so she could start there if she was short on ideas or taste.
Well, my mother was a retired lawyer, and the most vindictive human being I've ever met.
She enlisted the help of a historian who worked with my dad, who gladly offered his time for free when he heard he was helping win a war against a HOA, to pin down heaps of evidence that an Even Brighter Shade of blue was not only historically accurate for that style of house, but had even been the original color of several houses in the neighborhood. They found shade mixing instructions and everything.
The HOA tried to throw a fit about this new development, but apparently one member had some common sense and talked the others down when my mom hinted that she also had evidence that this awful gray-purple shade was also historically accurate.
The final blue color was very nice. It wasn't an eyesore/spite house situation, and the shade would have weathered beautifully. But my dad got transferred and they sold it, and apparently not even 3 years later the house was back to being gray.
lilapense
32. Swing Set
My daughter has severe asthma. We bought our condo because it was affordable, clean, and move-in ready. We were trying to move before our son was born for fear a moldy house made our daughter sick and would do the same to our son.
Our first summer in the condo, the president's wife went psycho and cut down the tire swing that the majority of the owners agreed to let us have for my daughter because she thought it was ugly. Or maybe because we told her teenage son to get off the toddler-sized tire swing.
After threatening legal action the association agreed to let us have the swing so long as it's removable. We hang a birdhouse there when the tire is down and only put it up when the little kids are out to play. The whole ordeal took over a month to settle. I dread this summer when we petition for a swing set.
NonReligiousPopette
33. Fool Them
My mom has been fighting HOA over an umbrella. The whole community HAS to have a tan umbrella on their deck. Not blue, not green, TAN. Back story. Now, she lives in a well-to-do area in a $600,000+ condo, where the actual houses are over a million to 10 million dollars. The whole thing is on a golf course. So HOA is in full Nazi mode there.
When she bought the land, she wanted to build a custom condo in the allotted space. So she did just that, which annoyed the HOA, something awful, but she agreed to have the same siding and the same window shutters and the same door lock, so it looked identical on the outside, but on the inside it was a paradise.
She is the only condo that has a basement, and she swears HOA doesn't know she put in a basement.
So she has a blue umbrella on her deck and she's sitting under it when she sees HOA drive past the cul-de-sac behind the deck and shortly after she hears the knocking on the door. "Peeglit's mom, you can't have a blue umbrella. You'll get a $300 fine unless you remove it." Mom says, sure, and leaves it up.
This happens several more times until they finally come and physically remove it from the house. She allowed them to do it, because little do they know, she's got all the plans to enclose a deck and make a four-seasons room out of it, which definitely isn't allowed, but she doesn't care.
[deleted]
34. Election Day
My best friend, S, grew up in Suburban Arizona. His family owned their home and rarely had problems with their HOA other than it being generally fascist. It all started with some cardboard boxes. S and his sister, at the ripe age of around 6 or 7, wanted to make a fort in their front yard, their dad being the great guy he helped them build a cardboard box fort for them to play in.
Being kids, they played in the fort for a couple hours and proceeded to get distracted elsewhere. Not a day later they received posted notices on the door and phone calls informing them they need to clean the "unsightly" garbage out of their yard or be faced with fines.
It wasn't a huge deal, but left the family a bit jaded towards the HOA.
Fast forward a handful of years later, S's dad decides he wants to paint the house. Now if you don't know most HOAs have strict rules on the color and send templates for you to pick off of. He said the templates ranged from tan to slightly different tan. S's dad finds a color he likes that's more of a greenish tan and sends it, paints the whole house.
The HOA proceeds to have a meltdown because they painted their house outside of the allowed color spectrum. S's dad says no freaking way it's basically the same color I'm not repainting my entire house.
So the HOA hires a contractor to come down with a paint color tester and posts notices on their door with a detailed analysis of how his color is yucca tan and doesn't fit the spectrum and if they don't repaint by the end of the month they will be fined.
Instead of folding, S's Mom finds out when the next meeting is and discovers no one votes, the same dude as been president of the HOA for way too long, and there's some shady stuff going on in terms of contracting.
So she walks around the neighborhood the next few weeks "campaigning" and runs. She wins by a landslide. Largest turnout for an HOA meeting since its inception. Apparently everyone was also sick and tired of the crap but just bent over.
So S's mom is elected president and discovers that the previous regime was doing the ole hookup with my son-in-law by contracting his company and paying him stupid amounts of money to water the sand wash crap. She quickly ends all that. Rather than change any rules other than a few stupid ones.
The S Family office just decided to refuse to enforce any of them. S's mom goes years as president. Recently she decided to screw it and didn't show up to the election and someone else got elected. Now the new guy is trying to enforce the old rules, but everyone is so use to the freedom there is a freaking war going on.
WhiskeyIsntEnough
35. Tinfoil Windows
So, when I was a kid my mom moved to a townhouse complex, which had a Strata Council, which was basically an HOA. I often keep late hours, so I like to keep my windows blacked out so I can sleep in. So, I tinfoiled my windows, which were recessed basement windows. You could not see these windows without being on our property.
She got a notice to remove them, because no window coverings are allowed unless they are white or beige. She passes this along to me. So, I take the tinfoil down, put white paper over the windows, and then tinfoil behind that.
And to further improve things, I then add a layer of black construction paper. No light is getting through, and it's all white from the outside, which is allowed.
They then drop off a note asking what time they can come by to inspect to make sure there's no tin foil on the inside of the window. My mom and I had a good laugh over this, and ignored the letter.
They sent a follow-up, more demanding, angrier letter. We ignored that too. Eventually they sent one threatening fine, and my mom sent one back that lied and said they had already inspected, and they needed to figure their problems out.
And then she got an apology and no further hassling on this issue, because the Strata Council was full of busybodies who hated each other, and no one wanted to admit that they were out of the loop.
varsil
36. Beloved By Dogs
I bought a house in a development that had died. My house was built in the 70s. But a new developer came in and as houses started being built everywhere, they enacted the HOA clause and populated it with rich retired folks that just made up ridiculous rules.
They wrote a rule that you had to put up a fence around your backyard. So I did. They didn't like my fence so they changed the specifications for the fence.
I got irritated and had a friend give me a dead feral hog to hang on a post in my front yard. The dogs in the hood loved me.
It didn't solve anything but since I had a dog door I would sometimes wake up with 15 dogs around my bed who came in during a storm. I was the crazy redneck, but the dogs loved me and I liked them more than humans.
diegojones4
37. Can’t Wait To Sell
Let’s just say this, my HOA was $800 when I sold it last month. It’s due to go up to $840 in January. Went up $100 every year since 2015. I bought it at $425 monthly. Next, I got complaints, 2-3x a week. Thin walls. Neighbor across the hall upstairs would be dropping weights, my downstairs neighbor would call to complain that it was me.
I got fined $500 when I was deployed, 7000 miles away for NOISE. I sent a video showing I was not home at the exact time the noise complaint came in. This happened at least 20 times in the few years I lived there.
My record was full of complaints of exact times I was either working at the hospital or deployed. Oddly the noise complaints never came in when I was home. I also had carpet and got complaints about “ rolling noises”.
The plumbing was wrecked. The wall next to my condo flooded inside servers several times. I got called at 3 am to hire a plumber to fix it. $700 later, the plumber billed the HOA and not me. It was an HOA problem but these fools tried to blame me over and over again.
They did this to me every 6 months for 5 years. Oddly, that thing kept flooding. They never figured out where it was coming from.
I got fined $250 for having a tiny glass bowl in the bbq area, not pool, bbq. No warning. Nothing. I appealed it. They called me to sit in on a board meeting. My patient had just take his life and I was trying to find a family to pick up his body from the VA morgue but here I was explaining and begging the HOA to not fine me $250 for a small bowl.
The number of complaints we had against the HOA was amazing. Completely misappropriating funds, abusing their power on the regular. It’s the best thing to happen to me. To sell and get the hell out of that hell hole. It was an absolute nightmare.
Worst decision of my life to live in that building and deal with that HOA.
PsychNurse6685
38. Never Again
My HOA president walks around the neighborhood every day and takes pictures of any violations he finds. There is a management company that does monthly checks for violations, but that's not enough for this old, bored, retired man.
About a month after having a baby I got a knock on the door from the HOA president, which I answered in my post surgical breast feeding outfit, because a palm frond hadn't been trimmed after being down for 3 days. Then I got a written notice the next day, then I got another notice 2 days later.
The HOA maintains the roads and there's a 15 mph speed limit. People drive pretty slow. These idiots put in 3 speed bumps on a 200 foot stretch of road! I've never seen anyone blast through and I regularly go on walks.
They also put up a security camera, raising our monthly dues, because one neighbor left their garage door open all day and someone took a few things. We clearly live in a dangerous area full of criminals. I can't sell yet, but when I do, never living in an HOA again!
dreameRevolution
39. Reston Communist Party
The most entertaining was from years ago when I was a kid. My parents bought a newly constructed house in Reston, VA in 1986, the neighbors house was a few months older than ours. It was owned by a retired couple, in the late 90's when this occurred, they were in their mid 70's. My dad called the HOA the "Reston Communist Party'', and my favorite story was this:
Those neighbors have one of the largest models in the neighborhood, the house and yard were immaculately maintained, and it was a pale yellow color with black shutters.
I think 1996-7... they got a notice from the HOA that they had not sought approval from the association for the color of their house and shutters and furthermore that the color choice was deemed unfitting or whatever and it would need to be changed.
The house had never been painted, it had been pale yellow with black shutters when it was built 10 years ago. If you want to see outrage, wear a pastel polo shirt and initiate an argument with a 75 year old couple (who were both WWII veterans btw... she was a field nurse) that the home that they took immense pride in was unfit for the neighborhood.
I wish I could have heard the actual words as he chased the guy off his driveway.
pbgod
40. It’ll Take Just A Few Minutes
I had a member of the board drive up and yell at me while I was moving in because the moving van was in the street. Parked it in the driveway but it stuck out into the street about 2 feet. Woke up the next morning and there was a warning posted on the moving van for sticking out into the street.
Welcome to the neighborhood. Ended up living next door to the biggest jerk in the neighborhood too. These were zero-lot-line properties and he put an above ground pool in the side yard between our 2 houses.
There's supposed to be 3' space along the side of the house for access but his pool went from his wall to my wall so you couldn't even walk between the properties. Then every time they went swimming the pool walls would flex and bang my house. I wrote multiple letters to the HOA but they didn't do anything. Moved out shortly after the pool incident. I'll never live in another HOA.
[deleted]
41. Cut To Perfection
I lived with my wife in officer housing on a military installation. Of course we had to follow certain rules so everything looked ship-shape. That wasn’t hard to do. What did get under my skin was the colonel driving around, taking notes, and then having her underlings issue tickets to residents for minor infractions.
The one that sticks in my mind was the “suckers,” as they were called (I had never heard the term before).
Although I kept my grass mowed per regulation, the little maple tree seeds would sprout up overnight and be an inch taller than the grass.
I got a ticket for suckers in my lawn, even though the grass was freshly mowed. Okay, sure. I’ll just mow the lawn every frigging day. Sheesh. I never lived under an HOA, but that experience was enough for me to realize HOAs weren’t my thing.
shugerbooger
42. Out Of Spite
My husband and I have a home with an HOA. Our most recent letter was a picture of our trash can out on the street. Basically telling us that we put our trash out too early for pick up.. the photo was taken on Friday at 3pm and trash pick up was on Saturday at 6am... so they sent us a letter that it isn't acceptable...
Also one of the lights on our garage had gone out and we received a letter with a picture about that as well, that we had to fix it immediately or be fined.
We’re also not allowed to park on the street without a pass from the HOA hung in the car... we didn’t know this and we’re moving in at the time..
We parked one car in the driveway and one on the street, grabbed some boxes, went inside with them, and by the time we came about out there was a huge neon sticker on the window telling us the rules and that we would be towed. That sticker was hard to remove, and we were literally parked there for maybe 10 minutes at that point... so annoying.
joneselliot
43. To The Courtroom
This didn't happen to me but several years ago a co-worker told me about how she and her husband put in a small in-ground pool in their backyard. They got all of the required permits and everything and nobody said boo during the weeks of construction.
After the pool was installed and they were getting ready to open it, the HOA sent them a letter informing them that it was in violation of the HOA rules and it had to be removed. (I guess their community had a public pool at the clubhouse or something.)
They ended up going to court and spending thousands of dollars to fight it. In the end, they agreed to erect a high privacy fence around it so that it wouldn't be visible. How ridiculous! They had so many horror stories, but this one was the cherry on top.
Linux4ever_Leo
44. Lost Documents
HOA “lost” paperwork for change of ownership when we bought our house. They sent us letters saying there would be a lien placed on our home if we didn’t pay the overdue amounts plus over $200 of late fees. I had to call them 3 times to even get someone on the phone who knew how to help me.
Then I contacted escrow who said they had already not only sent all the paperwork, but turns out we had already paid the fees.
Called HOA again and they were insistent that we hadn’t paid or sent over paperwork. Called escrow again and requested they contact the HOA themselves to sort this out and HOA still insisted we owed a late fee.
Started losing my mind until the escrow said they would pay the late fee. A month later we got a letter in the mail saying we were being fined for leaving our trash bins out longer than necessary. It was only the beginning of an ongoing list of incredulous demands… Screw HOA.
sneakypandas
45. Have Some Sympathy
My grandparents lived in an old folks community with a zealous HOA. My grandmother had to go to the hospital, because of her many health problems. My grandfather would go with her. This happened once when I was visiting.
There was a knock on the door at about 10am. Two elderly women with clipboards immediately jump into a speech about how the trash cans hadn't been brought in. I explained the situation.
One of them said she was in the hospital the previous week but still managed to bring in her trash can and handed me what looked like a ticket for $50.
At that point I got infuriated, told her we’re not paying and if she keeps on harassing us she’ll be hearing from our lawyer. That shut her up real good. Didn’t have any issues since and also learned a valuable lesson to always avoid HOA.
CaptainPeachfuzz
46. Mailbox Mystery
I had just moved into my house a few months prior, when I got a letter threatening to be fined $200, stating that my mailbox wasn’t black. I thought surely they had the wrong house because my mailbox was, in fact, black. So I contacted them, and they gave me a runaround, arguing that it wasn’t.
I told them to come look, and of course, they said it was on me to prove to them it was black. So, I snapped a photo and emailed it to them. I hear nothing back for well over a month, then get another letter giving me a “courtesy” week extension before I’m fined.
I’m livid at this point, so contact the HOA again, asking for an explanation as to what exactly the problem is.
I’m finally told that “neighbors” felt my mailbox was rather worn and needed to be painted or replaced. So basically, it wasn’t black enough for them. So I freaking painted it.
Now for the part that set me over the edge...After a few months or so, I learned that the HOA will replace a mailbox, as it’s covered under our terms. So I called them asking about why they threatened to fine me when they were the ones that should replace it if not to standard.
They stated it was because they had no open work orders for my mailbox and that it was my responsibility to notify them if it needed maintenance, not theirs…
miggitiemac
47. The Orange Net
My parents live in a neighborhood with several of the local physicians. One has like 6 kids and the youngest has profound autism and is non-verbal. Well, he's about 5 or 6, and he loves riding his little tricycle in their driveway, which is pretty large.
He would do it for hours. His mom stayed home with him for the most part, and she and her husband became concerned that, in a moment, he'd drive into the road if they happened to look away.
So, they got some orange construction netting that they would just put across the end of the driveway while he was out there and would take it down when they went back inside. I always thought that it was a good idea to keep him safe.
Anyway, several of the families in the neighborhood were not pleased with this and said it was an "eyesore," so a meeting was called. It turned into attacks on how they were taking care of their son and how it made the neighborhood look "ignorant" to have that netting up.
Needless to say, no one offered any other options, and this family was so irate that they packed up and moved within a month. This was about 3-4 years ago, and that house still hasn't sold.
They live out in the country somewhere, and the last time I talked to the dad, the son was doing very well in his new home.
And he still rides his bike for hours on end.
[deleted]
48. Little Detective
OH WEE!!!! My good friend had a story.
Her and the husband moved into this gated community. She loves having a birdbath in her backyard...and she gardens a lot, so the decoration makes sense. Turns out her HOA figured out that she had said birdbath in her backyard.
Apparently, birdbath=lawn ornament, which was forbidden. She told them she would remove it. A week later, she gets another message saying that it hasn't been removed(it wasn't).
Obviously, she and the husband put it together that the HOA is snooping in her backyard.
For a week, she spends her time outside sunbathing in the nude, setting her trap. Sure enough, an HOA narc opens the gate to their backyard and sees her in the nude.
Instant call to the police for privacy violations. The HOA gave up and let her have a birdbath.
She is now on the board of the HOA and they leave her alone.
Flynn_lives
49. Fence of Confusion
When we first moved in I asked the neighbor across the street how “serious” the HOA was here.
He said, “Bad”. And then told me a story where he got a notice with a photo of his recycle bin being left on the street for too long.
The photo was of him walking the recycling bin back to his garage. Lol,
I had the HOA come out to “approve” a fence I was going to install. The lady at the HOA office was very nice and said my plans were within the covenant by-laws etc. We just need to have the “inspector” check it out himself to sign off.
When he got to my house, he said he didn’t understand what I wanted to do. I explained the type of fence I wanted to install and he said that wasn’t, from his knowledge, “allowed”.
I walk him out to the street and point two houses down.
Me: That house, right there has the fence I want to install
He scoffs at this, walks down to look, and sure enough, it was EXACTLY as I described it.
Him: Well we don’t like to have a bunch of different “types” of fences in the neighborhood
Me: I don’t care what you prefer, the covenant says I can have that fence and that’s what I’m going to install because it’s within the specifications of the covenant.
The old fella didn’t have much to say after that.
I got a letter the next week with “approved for fence install.”
DoSeedoh
50. The List Goes On
My ex-bf’s father was part of the homeowners board for their townhouse community. His wife would walk their dog around the entire neighborhood every day and carry a notebook to write infractions to report back to her husband.
Ridiculous stuff.
Neighbors have a window a.c. unit? Reported and fined. Have a garden that's a square foot too big? Reported and fined.
Some people have absolutely no lives.
bastet418
51. Deck Dispute
Not my story, but my dad's.
He moved into a new townhouse in the summer of 2013. It was a foreclosure property, as the previous tenants were kicked out for not paying their mortgage and for not paying their HOA dues.
They gave everyone in the HOA new patios and decks the summer prior -- it was required, and you had to get a new deck/patio. Buuuuuuuut...the tenants had to pay for them in monthly installments for the next three years along with their HOA dues.
As I said, the previous tenants foreclosed on their home. However, there was one rule placed when they got the decks, which was that you couldn't move out without paying off your deck first.
He was told by HOA that he would not have to pay off the deck because it was foreclosed and he was not responsible at all for paying it off. Sweet, free deck! He signed off on that.
He moved in, but then he started getting assessments from the HOA for the deck. But -- wait -- he wasn't supposed to be paying for the deck?
He fought it with the board. Even with the signed thing saying we didn't have to pay for the deck...the board went against him.
He ended up having to pay off the remaining balance on the deck. To this day, he refuses to speak about this topic. It's a trigger for him.
easy_dub
52. Not Shared Pool
My father-in-law’s condo corp has a shared pool. The old folks don’t like to share, so they have all kinds of silly rules, like no more than one guest per resident, residents only times alternating every hour, etc.
My FIL can’t even take his own two grandkids for a swim because he’d exceed the number of allowed guests. So many rules the damn pool is usually empty.
Because the residents were still breaking the rules, they passed a new rule that if any resident was caught breaking the pool rules, they would close the pool to everyone for a week and post the offender’s name and reason for the closure on the community bulletin board.
Freaking children…
DrunkenGolfer
53. Oak Trees
“Only plant oak trees,” even after multiple arborists & botanists informed the board that doing so would give all of them various diseases and all would need to be cut down.
10 years later? All have been cut down because they have diseases and mites.
SonofByford
54. Boat In Land
Not a horror story yet, but it could be. When we moved in, someone stopped by to say hi but more like to tell us our boat couldn't be parked on our lot. My wife told her well, we read all of the rules, and it doesn't say that.
She replied well I wrote the rules so I should know. My wife told her to go read them.
We didn’t hear anything for months. When we get our annual dues packet, there is a newsletter saying our lot is in violation and that we stated plans to modify our garage to fit the boat in the spring (we never said that).
They suggested setting a deadline for us and setting a vote to add boats to the list they already had (campers, fifth wheels, motor homes, and travel trailers)
We bought the house intending to build a detached garage, but in order to comply with the design rules it would cost me $90k USD so I'm waiting until I get an official anything in the mail then I'll get a storage unit.
Btw my neighbor has been here 6 months longer than us and they have a boat in their driveway, too!
freezer41
55. Green Grass
I was fined multiple times and threatened with a lien by the HOA because we would not water our grass during a major, major drought season.
It was cheaper and easier to fight the HOA since the City AND State passed regulations banning constant watering and green grass.
The City had Google-like vans with cameras that’d be driving neighborhoods to catch violators and fine them.
poisonivvy13
56. Total Karen
When my sister was hit by a drunk driver, the insurance took a few days to decide what to do with her car since it was a weekend. The neighbor called the police and said it was abandoned and had been there for months. Luckily, the police took our side.
They pulled up an accident report showing that car across town 2 days ago, then told her to fudge off.
TheDigileet
57. Scorching Heat
When I was a kid I lived in one of the two front rooms of the house, which were the hottest in the summer and the coldest in the winter. My dad didn't like to use the AC so we all just had fans.
One summer it got so unbearably hot in my room that fans just weren't cutting it and I was miserable. My dad then put an AC unit in my window and it was awesome.
But it was short-lived because the HOA told us to take it down because it was an "eyesore." My parents told them it was for their child but they didn't care, so my parents had to take it down.
The kicker is that, just down the street, a guy who had the exact same model house as us had an AC unit installed in the same exact window as the one we had it in, and the HOA never said a word to him.
ZenMacros
58. Dream Crusher
Didn't happen to me personally, but I guess I can tell you about my parent's experience with their HOA.
Dad retired and decided that he really wanted to buy a camper and travel. Mom was all about it, and both of them were very excited. So Dad runs off and trades his F-150 truck for an F-250 with a huge diesel V8, buys a gooseneck camper, and waits for spring. Camper in the backyard, truck in the garage, no big deal.
Not long after he gets a visit from a lady. She's got a list of rules from the HOA (that was established long after my parents had built their house, something like 15 years later when the subdivision really took off) saying that dad couldn't have the camper on his property because it was an "eyesore."
Mind you this camper is in the backyard, behind a 6' privacy fence. You could still see it, sure, but it's not like it was old and in disrepair either.
So here's my retired parents, living in a subdivision that has an HOA that was established long after they built their home, and the HOA is expecting them to abide by rules they didn't agree to.
He never moved the camper.
tired040
59. Help Gone Wrong
Not mine but a friend's HOA.
I was watching a friend's house cat while she was away, left my car at her house, in her deeded spot, with a visitor tag on it, to drop her off at the airport, then went home to my house, slept, went to work, returned after work the next day to feed the cat, check mail, and get my own car back.
NO CAR.
I called her on vacation, and she found the property management phone, I called, and they told me it was towed as it had a flat tire.
$290 later, for the tow, overnight storage, and a flat fix I had my car back.
CURSE THOSE CRAPHOLES, the car wasn't even there for 24 hours, and it wasn't flat when I parked it.
mini4x
60. Took Advantage
My mother died in September of 2016. My disabled father went into the hospital and then into long-term rehab until the present. The house was in my mom’s name and their neighbor across the street is the treasurer of the HOA.
He knew my mom died of cancer within a year of her diagnosis and that my dad was in the hospital.
He billed my dead mother for a year and when the bills were unpaid, he took it to court to begin foreclosure proceedings.
At this point, I received a certified letter and contacted a lawyer to help. It was originally $1700 but increased to $4200 with late fees and attorney fees. Our lawyer is confident we can settle for far less than $4200.
BrownsFanJCU
61. Extra Mile
Not mine but one of my good friends has a rather insane HOA. They actually used rented surveying equipment to determine that his clothesline was 1 inch taller than his fence and fined him several hundred dollars for some stupid "structure beyond the fence" rule they had.
The same HOA has someone walking around actually measuring the length of the grass with a ruler and issuing warnings for mowing.
[deleted]
62. High Inconsideration
My HOA decided that my trim needed to be painted RIGHT NOW. Threatened a $100 a month fine if it wasn't. The trouble is that it was January, and I live near Chicago.
As I was buying the paint, the salesperson kept telling me that the paint won't dry, it will just freeze, and fall off within 6 months. I was selling in the spring anyway, so I didn't care. Painted the trim at a temperature of 7 degrees F.
Jerks.
Allthenamesareregone
63. Burst of Dilemmas
I think I’ve posted this before, but I’m still fuming over it years later so here goes. I went away for a long weekend and left after work on Thursday.
Late Friday afternoon, my water heater burst (in the attic of a three-story home) and flooded my entire townhouse. When my neighbor got home from work he saw gallons of water running from underneath my garage door.
When he realized I wasn’t home, he tried to find my phone number and when he couldn’t, he called the HOA to notify me. The lady who answered said that since it was “after business hours (it was 5:01 at this point), the matter would have to wait until Monday.”
My wonderful neighbor ended up calling the non-emergency police line and they came and shut my water off from the street. When I got home Sunday morning, my entire house was damaged and I could see my attic from my basement.
After a massive panic attack and a frantic call to my insurance company, we started the process of repairs.
The cherry on top was that I needed to have a dumpster placed in my driveway and a moving pod to remove what was left of my furniture while they began drying out the house and I got a visit from the HOA.
They didn’t like how “unsightly” my home had become and wanted these items removed from my driveway. I essentially told them that they could take their complaints and go fudge themselves with them.
I got a little revenge too because I stopped paying their stupid fee since they couldn’t fine me before six months and I was moving in less than five months. I’ll never own another home with a HOA ever again.
Jerks.
Dr_Bogar
64. Fence Sniffer
When we moved in we got permission to build a fence. They said cedar-treated pine was fine. Well, a neighbor didn't like that and called HOA.
We got an email shortly thereafter from HOA Pres that there were some concerns about our wood (ha) so he came by real quick to give it a good sniff to see if it was, in fact, not cedar.
He is now King Fence Sniffer.
PadaWINE
65. For A Change
Our HOA hired a management company to run the day-to-day business. What that meant was a guy would ride around taking pictures of petty bullcrap and mailing violations to homeowners.
I had so many quarrels over nothing.
Well, it turns out the HOA didn’t have any teeth behind the violations since the bylaws didn’t allow fines. Somebody came up with the bright idea to start imposing fines to ensure compliance.
That is when I ran for and won the vice presidency of the board. Another gentleman who was fed up with this crap ran and won as well. We didn’t have the power to dissolve the HOA, but we decided the next best thing was to paralyze it.
Without us in attendance, the board could never reach a quorum to conduct business.
And they never did.
Top_Chef
66. Bad HOA’s Aftermath
Not me but my sister. her front door broke because some delivery people fudged up and she had it replaced. Apparently, it was the wrong color according to the HOA and she would be fined $500 a week unless it's corrected or REMOVED because it's totally fine to not have a front door in LA.
Another is from a sweet old lady who invited me in for tea and cookies when I was house hunting.
The HOA there was $285 a month (below average for social) and she told me that while she didn't mind the committee so much, she wasn't happy when 2 of her potted plants were shattered by kids.
These kids were playing ball around her house and the HOA wanted to fine her $65 a day until she had them removed from her front yard.
I ended up buying a home without HOA.
unfeelingzeal
67. Repairing Season
Let me paint you a scene: a young married couple finds their first apartment and although it is far from perfect, it is spacious and 2 minutes away from work. Mind you this is the beginning of August...in South Florida.
On the day we move in we see a letter posted for the HOA stating that someone HAS to be present in our unit while the workers are there to work on the central cooling unit.
Okay, no big deal, I have the ability to work from home sometimes, so I did.
Well, at the end of those two days (workers were to be there from 8 AM-5 PM) we were told that the project “was bigger than expected,” and found out exactly what was happening.
They were replacing the piping of all 22 units in our complex, and we were lucky enough to have 1 of 2 points of access to the roof (in our bedroom closet).
That roof access was utilized for 24 days out of the month of August anywhere from 1-14 hours a day.
OverlordCommander
68. Dump Drama
When we were privately renting in a townhome community the dumpster had video surveillance so that the HOA could fine anyone breaking the rules as far as what we were allowed to dump.
One day both myself and SO got a witchy call from our property manager alerting us that the HOA had fined us $250 for illegal dumping, the property owner would have to pay it and we would have to reimburse him.
After racking our brains about what we could have possibly thrown out that wasn't allowed, we decided to call up the HOA to see if we could see the video.
They would either transfer us to someone else who would hang up, or their hours would change to where no one would answer the phone, or they'd promise to get the video to us the next day, etc.
This went on for about 2 weeks.
Finally, my SO got to see the video while I was at work. I texted him to find out what was on it and he said the video was of a middle-aged Asian lady throwing out a bunch of furniture.
It was the stupid property owner's freaking wife.
silver_fawn
69. Wise Strategy
I wanted to tear out a bunch of evergreen bushes that ran alongside my house. We tore them out and were debating on whether to burn them on site or put them in a burn pile that I knew about 10 miles or so away.
I opted to just burn them right there. I have an open area next to my house that is about a 1-lot size. We put the bushes in the open, and ran a garden hose out to the area in case it spread.
Then I decided that I should get a burn permit. So I printed one off and took it to my fire station to be signed. I came back put the burn permit on my steps and set the fire.
The bushes were fairly green so they didn't want to burn aside from the initial flame up.
I needed some accelerant. So I ran to the dollar store and grabbed some cheap lighter fluid.
Came back and my buddy told me that some HOA prick came by and told us that we couldn't burn things. He said that he didn't care and was calling the Fire Dept. About then, I hear the fire trucks getting closer.
HOA prick pulls up to see what transpires between me and the Fire Dept. A fire truck pulls up and sees us doing everything right. They turned off the lights and sirens and waved at us. HOA prick peels out and leaves.
We laughed hard that day.
[deleted]
70. Bunch of Scammers
HOA said there was a surplus of funds and sent out a survey to find out what people want the money spent on- swimming pools, basketball courts, etc.
A few months later we got a notice that they’re raising the dues because they need more money to afford all the new amenities we requested.
The entire board was voted out the following year.
transgander
71. Personal Motives
When my brother first moved into his condo, quiet hours were 10 pm - 6 am Sunday-Thursday, never really enforced. A couple of years later two board members sold, and two new came on board. One being a 60 y/o man.
Quiet hours are now 8 pm-6 am Sunday-Thursday, 10-6 Friday-Saturday.
The 60 y/o guy will knock on your door if he thinks you are too loud. It's a very young metro neighborhood, a loft complex.
The old guy came to his door to complain a couple of weeks ago because he thought the pizza delivery guy was too loud.
comtrailer
72. Lie To Me
My dad built this cool 2-story treehouse that seemed as big as our house to pint-sized kids (it wasn't). He remarries, and we all move into a new house.
My dad carefully dismantled and moved our treehouse, intending to put it up at the new house. The HOA president had verbally given the okay when my parents were in the process of buying the house - saying we'd get a written okay.
Instead, we received a written denial after we moved in & the home-buying process was complete.
It's still in pieces underneath the deck of the new house, and it's been there since 1990.
I'm still angry.
happy_nekko
The fake HOA in our neighborhood! Started off as a neighborly gesture. Cheap $75.00 a year. Cleared the roads, some Spring dumpsters, and a Summer BBQ.
Then the bored housewife who had nothing better to do became President of the HOA. They then had "elections", meetings, and of course, raised the HOA fee 200%.
She talked about new street signs, new roads, sidewalls, and gates into the entrance of the neighborhood. Mind you our home was the original property back in the 1940s. I assume the owners sold off land for the homes around us.
No common areas, neighborhood pool, park, trails, NOTHING. I refused to pay or be any part of the little HOA club.
She called as I was "past due" on my HOA fees. I politely told her there is no HOA here that is why we bought this home. She asked if we use the roads and I said yes of course.
Her response was well you need to pay to use my roads. I told her I do, it's called Property Tax. I asked her to NEVER contact me again.
Funny, some participate in the HOA. They just put in $15,000 worth of Stop signs. We have 5 intersections!! She wants to resurface the over 1 mile road now!! Good luck with that, I'll gladly be the one they hate who hangs her laundry out to dry!!
Do NOT buy in an HOA!!
conniedew
74. Many Free Times
I was written up for having my hose on the ground...while I was in the process of installing the thing to hang the hose on. They literally came by when I stepped inside.
My neighbor was also written up for having a box on his porch...it was an Amazon package that had been delivered while he was at work.
Our board was old women who had too much freaking time on their hands
mr_Puffin
75. Apology Letters
One of my favorites was when the HOA was harassing me for putting on an addition and installing a pool without submitting plans to them. Had to send them a cease and desist.
They were also trying to get me to sign the paperwork to join via certified letter. I request formal apology letters from all members of the board. I specified that all letters should be handwritten, double spaced, 100% cotton fiber bond paper, no 2 letters could contain more than 2 common sentences to avoid copy paste.
Submissions would be judged based on the perceived genuineness of the intent. Those that I felt were not up to standard would be returned for corrections.
I’m sure there were a few other requirements.
It was a few years ago.
ichliebekohlmeisen
76. House of Separation
My old house's backyard bordered an HOA community. Our house was built 30 years before the community was built, so we weren't part of it. We used to get notices about violations and fines if we didn't correct them.
I never did correct them.
They finally sent legal papers to repossess our house.
I went to court with a tax map that showed our property was NOT part of the HOA community. The judge dismissed their suit against us and found them guilty of harassment.
We didn't get awarded much, but I made sure to break every rule of theirs I could until we moved.
Uncle_Lazlo
77. Black Mailbox
I had just moved into my house a few months prior when I got a letter threatening to be fined $200, stating that my mailbox wasn’t black. I thought indeed they had the wrong house because my mailbox was in fact black. So I contacted them, and they gave me a runaround, arguing that it wasn’t.
I told them to come look and of course, they said it was on me to prove it was black. So, I snapped a photo and emailed it to them. I hear nothing back for over a month, then get another letter giving me a “courtesy” week extension before I’m fined.
I’m livid at this point, so contact the HOA again, asking for an explanation of the problem.
I’m finally told that “neighbors” felt my mailbox was rather worn and needed to be painted or replaced. So basically, it wasn’t black enough for them. So I freaking painted it.
Now for the part that set me over the edge...After a few months or so I learned that the freaking HOA will replace a mailbox, as it’s covered under our terms. So I called them asking why they threatened to fine me when they were the ones that should replace it if it was not standard.
They stated it was because they had no open work orders for my mailbox and that it was my responsibility to notify them if it needed maintenance, not theirs...
miggitiemac
78. Heartless People
My parents live in a neighborhood with several of the local physicians. One has like 6 kids and the youngest has profound autism and is non-verbal. Well, he's about 5 or 6, and he loves riding his little tricycle in their driveway, which is pretty large.
He would do it for hours. His mom stayed home with him for the most part, and she and her husband became concerned that, in a moment, he'd drive into the road if they happened to look away.
So, they got some orange construction netting that they would just put across the end of the driveway while he was out there and would take it down when they went back inside. I always thought that it was a good idea to keep him safe.
Anyway, several of the families in the neighborhood were not pleased with this and said it was an "eyesore," so a meeting was called. It turned into attacks on how they were taking care of their son, and how it made the neighborhood look "ignorant" to have that netting up.
Needless to say, no one offered any other options, and this family was so irate that they packed up and moved within a month. This was about 3-4 years ago, and that house still hasn't sold. They live out in the country somewhere, and the last time I talked to the dad, the son was doing very well in his new home.
And he still rides his bike for hours on end.
[deleted]
79. Firing Brain
A house in the neighborhood caught fire. Luckily, everyone was okay (they had small children), but the fire burnt a hole in the side of the house.
While waiting for it to be repaired, the family covered the hole with a blue tarp to prevent rain from getting in and causing more damage.
HOA fined them because the tarp was an "eyesore."
[deleted]
80. Work Vehicle
I remember a story about an HOA that told a resident he was not allowed to have a pickup truck because of the ban on "work vehicles" in the bylaws. There was no contractor or business sign on it, the truck was a personal vehicle.
The HOA wouldn't budge.
He went out and bought an old station wagon that he painted camouflage and stuck a picture in the back window of his brand new shiny pickup truck with a sign that said, "The HOA will allow me to have this car, but not this truck in my driveway."
The bylaws were amended shortly to allow non-commercial pickup trucks.
tacknosaddle
81. Holiday Decorations
My parents’ HOA is stupidly strict. Can't have any holiday decorations up past the first week of Jan. My mom pulled a Clark Griswold and broke her ankle falling off a ladder and putting up decorations before the holidays so a wreath was left on the front door longer than allowed.
They got a letter with a picture and a threat of fine.
A few summers later they and some of their neighbors decided to stick it to the man. They got a flock of plastic lawn flamingos and planted them in one of their yards. Whenever the HOA would send a letter the flock migrated to another yard.
Kept it up for about a month and a half.
wherestheiguana
82. Neighbor Fences
The fences on your property must all be the same color, and match the adjoining fences of the neighbor's property. The community was planned single-family houses with fences between houses.
Looking from the street it went House-fence-house-fence-house-.... I was in the middle of the row and had a shared fence with both neighbors,; each each had their own color.
I got a violation notice the same week I moved it.
If I painted my fences to match each other, at least one of my neighbors wouldn't have matched theirs on the other side. This would have sent a cascade of violations down the street.
burghguy3
83. The Businessman
Everyone in my neighborhood was fined for having “dirty roofs.” Seriously, they claimed that everyone's roofs were dirty and made the neighborhood look bad. It’s not like they were covered in mold or anything, hell idk how a roof is even dirty, but 268 of the 284 houses in my neighborhood were fined $75 for it.
We found out later that the HOA president started a power-washing business and likely just wanted to drum up some business. He was impeached because of it, and none of us even paid the fines.
ElMuchoDingDong69420
84. Where’s The Lawn
The first month in our townhouse, we got a notice that we had not mowed our lawn and were in danger of being fined. We didn't have a lawn. The entire yard was covered in topsoil, seed, and straw.
The "lawn" turned out to be a single weed that was growing up in the shade of a bay window.
I didn't pull it. I tied it to a stake and told them it was our garden.
Gruneun
85. For Your Information
When I moved in I noticed a bare spot in the landscaping facing my house. I was wondering what to put there and when I met my neighbor next to me I asked about what we were allowed to put there.
Neighbor: Oh, nothing.... you're not allowed to add anything to the landscaping.
Me: Can... I put a potted tree or something there?
Neighbor: No. If you're really torn up about it though, you can e-mail the strata.
Me: Oh, do you have their e-mail?
Neighbor: It's mine. Here.
Me: …
FlatteredPawn
86. Invisible Trash Cans
This is stupid for how we were asked to handle it....
HOA covenant says trash cans can’t be visible from the street. We keep ours at the side of the house, like half the neighborhood. You can only see them if you follow the outer edge of the cul-de-sac and are really trying to look for them.
And, of course, the traffic is minimal since it is a cul-de-sac.
The management company told us to put them in the garage or behind the house. I opted for behind the house where the entire freaking neighborhood can see since we back up to the main road into and out of the neighborhood.
3McChickens
87. White Mailbox
My parents moved into an HOA a few years ago. I lived with them temporarily. One day, someone from the HOA went around to every house with a color palette of shades of white that were acceptable for mailboxes to be painted in.
If the white paint on a mailbox didn't exactly match one of the shades of white on their color palette, the mailbox had to be repainted, at the expense of the homeowner. My parents had to repaint their white mailbox so its shade of white was acceptable.
Spookiest_Meow
88. Inconvenient Parking
I actually live in a condo now with a pretty chill HOA...the worst place was actually when I lived in an apartment in a town that didn’t allow overnight parking. I had to park like 1/4 mile away in a municipal lot but had to have the car moved by 830am.
Overnight guests had to be reported to the police so they didn’t get ticketed.
When I busted my knee and was on crutches, I had to get a letter from my doctor faxed to the police dept in order to get special permission to park on the street near my place overnight.
After having to play “May I have an overnight guest” with the police, an HOA would have to be really nasty to be worse than that...
questionfear
89. Pigeon Battle
It's not necessarily a rule, but my HOA has been having a never-ending battle with pigeons since I bought my condo 5 years ago. Their latest plan was to leave trays of poison seeds all over the complex (on the ground, no less).
This resulted in pigeon corpses appearing all over the complex with no noticeable decrease in the number of pigeons hanging around. After a huge storm blew the trays over, it also resulted in everyone being afraid to walk their dogs for fear of ingesting poison.
A+ work HOA
obernewtyn16
90. No Logic
I have hedges in the front yard. There's dirt under them because, you know, plants grow from dirt. HOA comes by and says we absolutely can't have any exposed dirt, including under the shrubs. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do about that??
I just poured mulch over the dirt under the shrubs. They haven't said anything, so I think that was the right thing to do. It definitely looks crappier than just the plain dirt.
The wildest thing is that it was just the dirt under the shrubs for a literal decade.
Kuneria
91. Pointless Rule
At my parents' house growing up, you weren't allowed to have the garage door open and illuminated after dark for 1) aesthetics and 2) bears.
We got cited because we were packing for a camping trip, bringing things from the garage to the car in the driveway.
When we pointed out how dumb that was.
They said we could have done it without violating the agreement if we'd loaded the car in the dark.
Morall_tach
92. Privacy Matters
We are only allowed to have chain-link fences. No wooden or any other fencing. I’m sorry, but I want some privacy in my backyard.
Our houses are so close together that I can see everything the neighbors around me are doing.
Edit; so I just checked hedges are ok. No mention of slats in the fences. Our bylaws are kinda vague.
Saltyice18
93. All For Aesthetics
You can't leave your trash cans anywhere visible unless it's trash day. For reasons too difficult to explain, it's almost impossible to get the cans in the backyard, so we had them at the side of the house (in the shade, practically invisible unless you were standing in our driveway).
Fast forward to a letter from the HOA reminding us of that rule and helpfully including a photo of our cans.
My dad's/stepmom's condo association told them they had to get rid of a potted plant on their front porch because it clashed with their front door. Their WHITE front door.
No colors clash with white!
BarracudaImpossible4
94. No Consideration Given
I recently started renting a house in an HOA community.
One of the first pieces of mail I received was from the HOA telling me that my fence had not been approved by the board and the house was in violation of the HOA rules.
That was a fun note to get in the first week after uprooting and moving across the country with no money.
yawninggourmand79
95. Skeleton Dude
It's actually not a hugely exciting story. I bought a skeleton one year at Halloween and decided to just leave him on the balcony year-round.
The condo board got upset with that because he wasn't a 'seasonal decoration' so I started dressing him up for the holidays.
They weren't too keen on that either, so they just ended up making a rule to ban skeleton decor entirely.
[deleted]
96. Useless Democracy
The dumbest rule in ours is when they pass something it only requires the majority of people who voted to pass it but to stop it from passing you need a majority of the entire neighborhood.
So 50 ppl vote and 26 vote for it and it passes but if 26 vote against it, it doesn't count because you need 51% of the 2600 houses in the neighborhood to vote against it.
Flareside
97. Own Home Prison
Can’t be parked in the same reserved parking space for more than 72 hours. Kinda F’ed up they enforce that during a pandemic.
Can’t park your vehicle with the front or rear bumper sticking over the curb.
Pick-up trucks have to have a bed covering.
No kid's toys, including bikes and scooters, can be left outside when not being used.... got a fine for that one when my daughter took a break to eat lunch.
Can’t have interior lights on past 10 pm without having curtains closed.
Trash has to be put out behind your car after 9 pm the night before it’s picked up. It doesn’t get picked up until around 7 am. No fun when you have to leave before 7. No guidance on where to put it if you don’t have a car or have to leave before 7.
When asked, they tell me to just take it to the dump myself if I can’t follow the rules.
gsddxxx654
98. Weird Hobby
No car covers and no basketball hoops... Apparently, these are distracting to drivers. Apparently, nothing else distracts drivers going 20 mph, but it was very important to eliminate these very basic distractions.
The HOA representatives police like it's their job or something. God damn losers, get a real hobby.
Janemba_Corvalis
99. Discrimination It Is
We got fined every time we were putting out Indian decorations for every celebration. Diwali lamps (tea lights in clay pots) outside our front door were a "fire hazard", and chalk and powder driveway decorations that washed away with rain were an "eyesore" (but kids could draw hopscotch blocks).
Flower garlands during harvest season violated the gardening rules.... but people could put up whatever decorations (including garlands) they wanted for Christmas, Easter, and Halloween.
Command-Cute
100. Trash Bins Drama
My old condo had a rule that forced you to keep your recycling and trash bins against your house in the middle of your carport. This took up space meant for the length of your car/truck.
Because of this rule, my extended cab Tacoma stuck out into the street, leading to complaints about it sticking out in the street.
The 80-year-old busybody HOA lady told me I had to park the truck in the adjacent lot, not in my carport.
I refused, since my tools would be stolen, then moved my bins into my walled-in back patio and parked my GD truck properly in my carport.
Morons.
[deleted]
101. Power tripping Guy
There is a singular guy who runs the HOA. He doesn't get paid or anything, he just runs it because he’s a power-hungry jerk. There is no legislature; he has complete power to enforce any policies he wants uncontested.
Right now, he’s trying to fly drones through a private company to "map" out the neighborhood, even though it's 2021 and everyone has access to Google Maps.
He's been hesitant though, because the residents have told him that if he flies drones through the neighborhood, they will be shot down regardless of légal repercussions.
I can’t stand the guy; he's a slimy "man" on a power trip because, in the real world, he's a loser.
BillyTheSexyRedneck
102. Absurd Rule
There’s a rule that you can only have a cat if you fill out this absurd amount of paperwork beforehand, and No Dogs. This was a whole big thing.
Two months after we moved in the monthly HOA newsletter had an item in it stating that people who had service dogs were allowed to have them because of Reasons and Laws, &c., worded in the most cranky, passive-aggressive phrasing I’ve ever seen used in a professional setting.
It was hilarious.
hansfish
103. Shed For Safety
Bought an older home in an older sub. Builders came in and built new homes around the older homes. A bother, but oh well. Then he tried to enforce rules from the newer sub on the older sub.
That was not well received, and we refused to "join."
His HOA enforced "no sheds". Many of us in the old section have sheds. One of his houses caught fire in the garage and went up quickly. The fire department said it was because the family had no shed, and gasoline, mower, etc. were a safety hazard in the garage.
gracefull60
104. Not On Me
It's not a rule, but it's still an HOA story. So, I bought my townhouse in July and read my closing paperwork very closely. It said there were no overdue payments to the HOA, but there are 2 $66 payments due in July and November.
No problem, I pay them but start to wonder why this isn't just part of the monthly dues. So, Christmas comes around, and I check my bank account. I'm missing $66, and my HOA took out my normal dues plus that much.
I call them the following Monday and ask what the fudge is going on.
They made the most unfair statement ever.
Hoa: The previous owner didn't make his $66 payment in March, so you have to pay it.
Me: No, I do not. That should have been disclosed in the closing paperwork.
Any payments he didn't make at this point are between you and him. I've made all of my payments for this year, so what you're doing is theft. You're going to give me that $66 back or you'll be hearing from my attorney."
I got that money back 3 days later.
TheMerk10
105. Watching Things Unfold
"Can't have an erect antenna" It Turns out a federal law says I can have an antenna up to 14 feet (or 12). So I built an antenna just to mess with them that's within 1/8th of an inch of the law.
"You have to paint your house an approved color." Painted the same freaking color I had before.
"You can't put up a temporary speed sign." When my two kids are out playing hockey I am putting up a "slow down" sign.
Even the police sided with me. So, I'm at war with my homeowners association, and currently, I'm 5-0. Did change the wifi password at the location of their last meeting, though. That was fun to watch unfold
clibb28
106. Calamity Is Nothing
My girlfriend parks in the garage and I park in the driveway. I was getting quotes to get a little roof to go over my driveway to protect my car from our crazy weather.
Block charter states that the house cannot be modified from its ORIGINAL design which was built in 1986 to include a roof extension either permanent or temporary.
We get a severe hailstorm at least once every 2-3 years that causes billions in damage to homes and vehicles.
But FUDGE THAT we gotta make sure all our houses look similar.
rapalosaur
107. Free Standing
My boyfriend's parents were redoing their backyard to include a pool and bar area. They wanted the bar area to include a bathroom and closet for pool gear.
The HOA initially denied their design because free-standing buildings were not allowed in backyards.
They got around the rules by connecting the bar area to the house with a wood awning that consisted of three or four logs.
It was no longer considered free-standing.
AltruisticShirt5
108. Wrong Move In
Bought my first home in a gated community. It was 2010 and it was a foreclosure I got a bill from the HOA for 5k because I hadn’t kept up with the lawn. Guy comes over to talk about it so I tell him I just bought the place and all outstanding fees should’ve been handled by the title company.
He’s being kind of snotty and then points out some black cables leading to a dish satellite. He says the cables need to match the color of the house.
I ripped the cables from the wall in front of him and asked if there was anything else I could help him with.
He wanted the name of the title company but I told him it’s all in the paperwork and the association can do its own work. Just had one more “problem” with them and it’s been smooth for the last 8 years.
SMGUTZ01
109. Poop DNA
My SIL used to live in a neighborhood with a ridiculous HOA.
They were having a problem with people not collecting their dog's poops, so they demanded DNA samples from each dog in the neighborhood to test against the poops and find the culprit(s).
I don't think they ever ended up following through on it, but I did learn you can buy exotic animal poop online.
Stace_of_Base88
110. The Townhouse
In a townhouse community, there is essentially a shared pipe stem in the back where everyone's driveways/garages are.
Not allowed to have a car with expired tags parked in the driveway. I had barely driven my car (that doesn't quite fit in the garage) since lockdown started and forgot to renew my registration so tags were out of date.
Repeatedly got letters with photos of my one car in my one-car driveway with expired tags.
My state only requires a plate on the back of the car so now I only back my car into the driveway all the way until I'm practically touching the garage door.
winnielikethepooh15