Let’s delve into the intimate confessions of individuals who bear the weight of secrets that, if exposed, have the power to shatter their very existence. From buried pasts that threaten to resurface to forbidden desires that must remain forever concealed, these narratives lay bare the fragility of human lives and the haunting fear of potential ruin.
Brace yourself as we explore a collection of confessions that delve into the darkest corners of the human psyche, reminding us that the most perilous secrets are often the ones we keep from ourselves.
1. Secret Bunker
Two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straights, so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800 sq. ft. bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago.
The bunker that I've called home since I sold it. The entrance to it is well-hidden, but I still come and go very early/very late in the day.
I'm a single man who keeps to himself. I'm now in a situation where I could move somewhere else, but I love this hidden paradise so much.
Throwaway215091
2. I’m A Baker Who Can’t Bake
I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes. Every last one is made using Pillsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch it sucked.
But baking is like my whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time. Telling me how delicious they are. Telling me it's so much better than box mix cake. Telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious.
Well, guess what? For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs, and water. In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate baking cakes. I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not the cake itself if that makes sense.
No one knows about this except my husband. Even my best friends think I slave over the oven mixing and baking these delicious cakes. I have been doing this for years. If anyone knew my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes.
iGotYouThisCake
3. Faked My College Education
I faked the last two years of my college education. My parents put so much pressure on me I couldn't handle it (I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety) so I faked it all. I lied to everyone and made up fake transcripts.
I just got my foot in the door in my desired field, thanks to a friend as who hired me as a subordinate. This place only hires college grads but no one double-checked my credentials since I was recommended.
I hope that if I need to find another job I'll have been at this place long enough to get it by experience alone (I work for a very prestigious company). I'm not bad at my job. I'm quite good. But my fear is eventually I'll hit a wall and the lie will come to light. No one has known this for the better part of a decade.
It's a relief to finally say it "out loud." I can't even tell those I love. My silence is my prison.
HalfEducated
4. PTSD
I used to be a Police/Fire/911 Dispatcher but had to quit because it nearly made me suicidal. I had thoughts, but had to drive 40 miles to go to a center/hospital where no one knew me for help.
I have nightmares about a few calls I took where the caller killed themselves, shot someone else, or passed away on the phone with me.
To this day, a few years after resigning, I still can't listen to a phone ring, or sirens go off without having a mild panic attack. I am fairly sure it's a form of PTSD, with flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and an inability to function sometimes, but I'm embarrassed and scared to tell my fiance or go to a doctor for it.
I know there are soldiers out there with real PTSD who deserve help far more than me. I am very good at hiding it though. I also sometimes wait until my fiance goes to sleep, and I will then go sit and pretty much cry for several hours. It's hell.
cunt_rocket
5. IT Guy Who Knows It All
IT guy here, it's amazing what people will do on their computers and say in their emails despite having to sign a waiver that all computer activity at work is monitored and recorded.
I have half the company's banking, social media, and personal email account info and passwords. I know who is secretly banging who at the office behind their spouse's backs. I know who is cybering at work and jerking it in the bathroom almost daily.
At least they tell their intimate chat partner they're running off to the bathroom to jerk it, I haven't felt the need to check the validity of that one. I know when people are having marital problems or financial problems.
I even know one person here who had their children taken away because a social worker found cocaine in their house. I know who is embezzling money, I know when people get fired for completely silly reasons (like they just want to replace them with someone younger and nicer on the eyes), and I know who my boss is buying Xanax and Vicodins from.
I have a treasure trove of my coworker's secrets. I won't actively do anything with this info, but it's nice knowing I have the ammunition there if something were to ever happen.
yesthisthrowaway23
6. My Crush
There was a girl who I had a crush on the moment I saw her on my college campus. She ended up dating a jerk a few weeks later. I happened to end up sitting in a study room with him and a few mutual friends. He talked about how he didn't think she was that attractive and how he liked other girls.
I wrote the girl an anonymous email using one of those websites telling her about the things I heard and how the guy was a jerk. She ended up breaking up with him after she found out he was cheating.
The girl is now my girlfriend of 6 months. She has no idea (and is sitting across from me in the library). I've never told anyone this before.
iamfromcanada
7. Drunk Sibling
After graduating from high school, I went to a small out-of-state college where no one from high school knew me. I was told many times how impressive my false Australian accent was, so I decided it would be great fun to go through college pretending to be from Australia.
All of my friends and even my girlfriend of two years think I'm Australian.I have a completely fake Australian identity, family, and past. I will soon be graduating, and I plan on asking the girl to marry me. Everything she knows about me is Australian I don't know how to tell her she doesn't know me.
Guess I'm forever a bloke.
FelineOfTheSea
8. Good Cheat
Back when I was in elementary (2018) we had a history quiz bee, on the 3rd round (hard round) each question was equal to 10 points, on the last question I didn't know the answer but the guy in front of me accidentally flashed his whiteboard and I saw his answer so I copied it and the facilitators didn't notice, it turns out it is correct.
Only the two of us got the correct answer and I got second place because of it. If I didn't copy his answer I would have gotten 4th place.
Deutsch_Osterreich
9. Imaginary Girlfriend
When I was in the 8th grade, a bunch of girls in my class convinced me they had a friend who fancied me (they said she had seen me somewhere and thought I was cute). Faked an MSN account and they talked to me every night for a few months, invited me out to the movies and (obviously) didn't show up, then revealed to the whole grade that I had been tricked into having an 'imaginary' girlfriend.
I was mocked viciously by everyone in the grade and ever since then, I can't trust women. I also can't believe that a girl may have feelings for me. Even when they explicitly tell me they have feelings for me I can't help but feel like they're trying to trick me.
It's caused a lot of insecurity, and I can't get attached to people easily. I'm afraid to text, or message people first because I'm convinced I would be annoying them. What's worse is that when I think about it, I know it probably isn't true; but I can't help but feel like it is.
Even though it was grade 8, it was around the time when attraction to women was just starting to get 'real', so to be hurt at a time as delicate as that has done some damage.
The secret of course is that I had been dumb enough to be tricked. As you might suspect, the whole thing has left me afraid of being vulnerable. To have this found out by my newer friends (as in, university friends) would put me in a uncomfortable place. I probably wouldn't be able to be their friend anymore.
Throwdisoffabridge
10. I Liked Her Too
My best friend had a girlfriend in a different state. They had been dating for almost two years. We all were friends and talked and after they broke up, we kept talking. We both came to realize we had feelings for each other.
I had a cousin in the same state whom I went to visit over spring break. We met up and slept together. He has no idea we ever talked and if he ever did I don't think he would speak to me anymore.
Gondorian01
11. I Am Stuck
I hate my SO. She makes me feel like crap regularly. She is childish and always blames her issues on the people around her, and for years when we've gotten into fights, or I'm trying to unload something she shifts the blame back on me, berates me, or calls me a wimp or such.
Multiple years of this have sapped all of my self-confidence and cost me multiple friends. I feel like I can't address this or anything relating to her because it will upset her.
I'm aware that our relationship has and will ruin my life but I don't have anything else in my life that is solid, and because we have built a life together.
PotTosser
12. Lowest Point In Life
I had serious depression my whole life. Three minor suicide attempts, countless other thoughts of just stepping on the gas peddle and slamming into a wall. I lost my job a couple of years back and hit an all-time low. I took a crappy job at a grocery store. I found out my wife was pregnant and thought the best thing for her and the baby would be for me to not be around anymore.
On the last day, I planned to leave, my wife told me our baby was the size of a sweet pea. I smile and act happy knowing I will never see that sweet pea. I went to work in the morning and near the end of my shift I was standing in the frozen department and I’m near tears.
I closed my eyes and asked myself what was the point and that it was time to end this. Then I hear someone yell my wife's name loud. Twice. I look over and see a lady who happens to have my wife's name. Ok. Just a coincidence. Then I look down and see her holding a box of sweet peas. I started crying and went home.
I got the help I needed. The sweet pea is two now and has a sister on the way. I live my life for them. They saved me. Just remember that no matter how bad it gets there are people out there who love you and want to help. Don't be afraid to ask.
Thewalterd61
13. The Feeling of Violation
After my mother left my father, he developed an inappropriate attachment to me. I was 19 and my brother moved in with his girlfriend. Dad was suicidal and had no family or friends close by, so I was it.
For the first year, he would wake me up at 2 am to sit with him every night until he cried himself to sleep. After 4 years of cleaning up after him, making sure he ate and generally remained alive, I discovered that he had been using the attic access in his closet to sit above my bathroom and watch me through a peephole.
I wanted to dismiss it as paranoia, but there were too many physical signs that made it a reality. I moved out shortly after that because I couldn't bear to look at him. I'm 29 now, and no one in my family has any idea that this ever happened. I know that he was going through a rough patch, but I still feel violated and dirty every time I think about it. I also have huge amounts of guilt because I hate him for putting me through it.
Uppgrayyed
14. Extra Semester In College
I had a fraternity brother who was a real jerk to me in college and hazed the crap out of me. Back then, you could log into the registration system to sign up for classes.
He was a senior, so he got the first pick of the classes he wanted. This was right when the internet was becoming popular, and back then, a person's login was their name, and their pin was their birthday. I logged into his account and dropped all of his classes three days after they started.
He did not find out until midterms when the professors submitted his grades. They refunded his money, but he had to spend an extra semester in college.
throw7638
15. Identity Disorder
I have a major identity disorder (untreated) because since I was ten I've been contorting my facial features at all waking hours to disguise my true appearance.
I have naturally droopy eyes, large lips for a man, and an overbite. Every day, I squint my eyes, curl my upper lip in when I smile, and jut out my lower jaw just enough to drastically change the shape of my face and the general relationship between my features.
When I became aware of the strangeness of this behavior as a teenager, I was desperately concerned that others would notice the cracks in my veneer, so had difficulty sitting on the left side of people (the right side of my face was the least controlled) and having any pictures taken of me.
This coupled with deep depression made the years of quintessential self-discovery in a young person's life ones of intense confusion and detachment.
Over the years, however, I've fine-tuned this behavior so that among most I'm now considered to be a conventionally handsome man when in truth I'm conventionally ugly by normal standards.
When I approached adulthood and went to a large public university, I took the opportunity to create a public identity that matched the physical countenance I had molded for myself - one of the utmost confidence and charm. Many people bought it, but the image flickered on bad days. I grew further from myself.
Then, two years ago this summer, a close friend of mine killed herself, shattering my false sense of social standing and condemning me to a relationship with a girl I didn't love, who also had severe identity issues spawned from abuse as a child.
After getting her into therapy long enough to break up with her, I immediately entered another relationship simply because it seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel. I do not love my current girlfriend either, as much as I tell her I do.
As a 21-year-old today, I deal with crippling anxiety and ontological dislocation regularly. I cannot reconcile the physical differences between my true appearance and the image I've contrived, and I fear that it is too late to let go.
I have no idea what physical toll "letting go," that is relaxing my facial features for longer than a minute or two, would have on me, let alone on my psychological state. It will need to be a gradual process if I ever decide to accept it.
For now, as a perfectionist in all of my pursuits, I live in constant fear that I will lose control and others will see the shadowed figure behind the mask. I am afraid that that figure is my true myself because I don't know what that would make me.
takeittothegrave
16. Fear Is Real
I've had agoraphobia for a year and a half. I've lied to my parents and told them I still attend college. Fear dominates my life. I had the worst anxiety attack ever a week ago and now have a derealization.
Every day is a struggle. I'm swimming in lies and don't know how l to turn this around. Advice to others: don't lie when times get hard and seek help before you think you'll need it. Hitting rock bottom is not a good place to be.
Throwawaythesecrets
17. The Dare Game
When I was younger (about 6 years old), my brother sister and I had a game that we would play. Nothing sexual but it was called Dare. The object of the game was to walk around the outside of our raised deck while holding on to the railing and walking on the very narrow ledge.
We had played the game before and one day my brother and I were outside alone (Mom and sister were busy inside) and I challenged him to play. My very fuzzy memory is that he didn't want to play and I slightly pressured him. He gave in and I went first. On his turn around something happened and I watched my four-year-old brother crash to the ground below.
He landed in a terrible position and broke his leg directly under his hip. He was in the hospital for 34 days with a screw drilled completely through his knee that was used to hold his hip in position. He was in a body cast from the chest down for over 8 weeks and had to go through months of being in a wheelchair and grueling physical therapy to be able to walk again. Now, almost 15 years later my brother's legs are slightly different lengths from the bones resetting differently, and has some minor muscle problems due to this.
However, he was also named the best goalkeeper in our state last year and will probably be moving out of state to follow his dream and play soccer. I love him more than he'll ever know and more than I could ever express here. He's the smartest, most talented person I know and I'm so proud of him. And it breaks my heart a little more every time I think about his childhood I feel like I am to blame for the months of pain he had to endure.
898_Throwaway_898
18. Bipolar Mom
This won't ruin me because I've already had no contact with my mom, but it still hurts and is a big secret I've not told anyone.
When I was a kid, I had asthma pretty bad. So, I'd be up all night, coughing constantly. My mom and I lived with her parents. We shared a room, so I slept in her bed often when I was a toddler.
Mom would come home from work and lay down for bed, but I'd keep her awake with my coughing. Sometimes at night, I'd be coughing and she would hug me so tight that I couldn't breathe.
It would really distress me that I couldn't breathe but I knew Mom loved me so much and I didn't want to tell her she was squeezing me to death because I was afraid of hurting her feelings, so I'd just tell her that I loved her so much, and she would cry pretty hard after that.
It took me years after having my kid and treating him gently to figure out that it's pretty difficult to squeeze a kid so hard that they couldn't breathe.
My mom is bipolar and has had other incidents of hurting people and abandoning those in her care who need medication and can't take care of themselves.
So, I finally put it together and figured out, mom would be so agitated with my asthma that she would try to stop me from coughing by squeezing me almost to death. And then she would cry out of guilt when I told her I loved her.
noncontroversialpleb
19. Fake Save
When I was about five years old, My sister (2 years old) and I were in the backyard in a kiddie pool, when my mom went inside, I attempted to get rid of my sister. After I saw her lifeless, I realized that it was a big mistake, pulled her out of the pool, and called for my mom.
Luckily she knew CPR and she was life-flighted to the hospital. My mom thanked me for saving her and pulling her out of the pool. Next week was my birthday, the police, firefighters, paramedics came to my house to give me gifts and celebrate my birthday. To this day 20 years later, I still think about it. I remember the day so vividly, not a soul knows the real truth.
throwaway4evernever4
20. Peer Pressure
I think I’m asexual but I don’t want to tell anyone. As a teenager who doesn’t want to be alone while all my friends have boyfriends, I don’t want to tell anyone in case a guy does want to date me.
I also go to a catholic school and I think that speaks for itself lol. I want to find love, but I don’t like the stuff that comes with it, and I’m afraid if I tell that to people then the love will never come.
Im_a_noodle_101
21. Craigslist Donor
I had a baby with sperm donated by a man who advertised on Craigslist. If my very religious family found out it wasn't an "accident" I would be completely shunned and disowned.
I am an ugly female. No, that's not the secret. But, I am ugly because I have a facial deformity that I was born with. I've never had a long-term partner and only had sex a few times in my life. My biological clock was ticking loudly and I desperately wanted a child - there wasn't going to be enough time to meet someone and my odds were none existent as a middle-aged, ugly female.
I own my home, and have a career - but I didn't want to lose all my savings to pay to have it done through a clinic and sperm donation, etc. It would have been at least $15K per try. My chances of adopting were also almost nonexistent as any woman looking to adopt her baby out isn't going to pick the ugly, middle-aged lady to adopt their baby, plus it is crazy freaking expensive. I wanted the money I had in savings to be towards raising the child.
So I turned to Craigslist and got it for free.
My child is a preschooler now and I've never been happier or more fulfilled. I pinch myself every day because my child is in my life and I feel so freaking lucky. Every day is a dream come true and I savor each and every moment. I try to be the best mom I can be in every way. Parenting really makes you take a long, hard look at yourself and how you show up in the world. I am a parent from my heart.
I regularly send pictures and updates to the generous and selfless man who trusted me on a handshake.
SecretsSecretsOhMy
22. Afraid To Make Friends
I guess I started to like the attention men gave me and I felt like I belonged/normal with my peers. Speaking personally, I think part of the reason you see that difference is that some people are intimidated by hijabs.
There have been several women I've found attractive but never felt comfortable approaching or talking to because I felt I would have also needed to be Muslim to approach, or, non-romantically, some I was hesitant to approach to befriend or work with because of the same thought of an expectation.
I suppose it can be a subconscious symbol of cultural division that affects how people think or act.
Epraider
23. Classical Revenge
When I was 15 I looked like a hybrid of McLoven and Napoleon Dynamite and was bullied by this mammoth fat lineman at school. This kid easily weighed 3 times as much as me.
But one day I got sick of his crap - this day also happened to be the day before our final exam in World History. While he was at wrestling practice after school, I went into his locker and stole his textbook, study guide, and notebook and took them home with me that night.
The next morning, I got to school extra early and put all of the stolen stuff perfectly back in his locker.
He rolled in that morning complaining to the administration about how someone stole all his stuff, but when he walked them over to his locker and his stuff was sitting right there, he looked like a total idiot and the admins refused to help him check the cameras.
Pretty sure he failed the test too. At the time, I'm pretty sure he would have beat the living crap out of me had he found out.
binarynightmare
24. Horrible Depression
I joined a job that is known for being miserable and a good chance of me getting killed. I love it. I was suicidal as a teenager and I gave up, knowing I couldn't kill myself.
Now I have a good chance of dying without me having to do anything. And to add to the goods, my family would get a whole lot of life insurance money if I got killed, so I could do them a lot of good by becoming a corpse.
If word ever got out, I'd be in a lot of trouble and probably pulled. I don't want it. I need this edge or else I fall into a horrible depression. I need the challenge and risk.
For those who guessed, yes I am military.
Firehawk195
25. Yes Man
About 18 months ago I was watching the movie 'Yes Man' and decided I'd say yes to everything for 24 hours. I ended up taking an ecstasy pill in the city, then this woman said 'Let's go do drugs' and I ended up buying and trying meth.
It was in a crack house that was legitimately ten meters across the road from the police station in the city's worst suburb. I then went to the casino and blew one thousand dollars.
Let's just say that watching Yes Man is a good way of getting yourself out of a rut.
[deleted]
26. School Bully
So I used to be bullied ever since I started going to school. I was big for my age, but I was considered a nerd and was also rather awkward (still am but not so much). One day I just snapped, as it turned out that a "friend" I had for 2 and a half years (my only friend) was just doing it as a sick bet/game/dare that the other students put him up to.
After I found out they kept laughing at me and how I had believed I could ever have a friend. I waited until school was over and asked my mom to drop me off at the "friend's" house, as I knew he took the bus and would arrive later.
I beat him up and even though he begged me to stop I kept going. I never felt so good in my life. I also found the kid who had the idea (I got the "friend" to rat on him) and did something similar to him. Granted I still didn't have any friends, but you can bet not one of those scumbags dared laugh at me again.
Teachers always said violence wasn't the answer. Well if they don't want things like these to happen they should get their act together and do their job for once, deal with the bullies, especially when a child brings them proof that he is being bullied. I got tired of waiting and took matters into my own hands. Well, guess what, it worked.
Not sure if it could ruin my life, but I think I'd lose some of my friends' respect, and my family's, which I find ridiculous. I felt and still feel my actions were justified.
throw4w4y4ccount
27. Fake Degree
Three years ago I attended a local community college while living with my parents. Or so they thought. In reality, I hit a moment in my life where I realized I didn't want to go to college anymore after having been forced to leave NC State University due to money falling through.
I sat at home, slept all day, and played on my computer with friends at all hours of the night. When my parents did stay home for the day instead of working I'd go to 'school'. Which was me finding a shady parking lot to sleep in my car all day. Yes, it was massively uncomfortable since my area gets hot in summer and cold in winter.
One time I even had to walk 3 miles in the snow, cold, and wind because I had to have my mother drop me off at the school. I then hid in the backseat of my car inside a sleeping bag I put in beforehand. I couldn't stretch my legs at all so it was super uncomfortable, but at least it was warm.
Anyway, I've essentially betrayed the trust of my parents who are exceptionally great people. If they found out I did this I don't know what they'd do. They think I have an associate's degree in computer science and I don't have the slightest inkling of the subject. I'm probably gonna die with the secret of my fake degree because I'd rather lie forever than hurt my parents with the truth.
somethingeducated
28. I Stopped Praying
OK, so my family is super religious, especially my mother. She wants me to be religious too, but I've become a bit disillusioned with religion. I know this would kill her, simply for the fact that she's a refugee and her reliance on a higher power has gotten her through all of her struggles and strife without even a lick of PTSD.
She's a single mother also and I just admire her so much for getting to where she is without any help. I just don't think I'd ever tell her that I haven't been praying five times a day or even thinking about God in any way. It would kill her.
throwawaylalalalajne
29. I’m In Love
I don't know if this would ruin my life, but it would make for some awkward situations. I love my professor. A lot. If it weren't for the massive age gap, the fact he's married, and the fact I'm dating someone, I'd probably tell him.
We're pretty close as far as professor/student relationships go, and we understand each other well. So that's where my feelings came from. This will likely be downvoted into oblivion, but there is no one I can tell this to.
throwawaysecret12345
30. Hate My Kids
I wish I'd never had kids and often fantasize about life without them. I love them, and they have a way of warming my heart on bad days, but I only had them because we were expected to after getting married.
We've sunk so many thousands of dollars into childcare over the years I wonder how much more financially stable we'd be. Trying to arrange dropoff/pickup is a pain when we have to work long hours or have irregular hours, and having to plan any outings well in advance to make sure someone can watch the kids sucks as well.
I try to instill good values but they still act like spoiled whiny brats at times. But I do try and make sure and let them know they are loved every day.
focusly
31. My Wife Disgusts Me
I'm not attracted to my wife when she's high. She smokes “the green”, and I'm fine with the fact she does, but I don't like the person she is when she's high. She's not as sharp, is forgetful, indecisive, and generally disconnected from the world. In other words, the exact opposite of the person I fell in love with.
I don't mind that she likes feeling that way, but she wants to be that way all the time. Sometimes I'd like to feel like she wants to be around me and the family without having to be stoned.
She's got a lot of anxiety issues, and a few other things that make living with her difficult, but those kinds of things I want to help her with and get through together. I don't feel like I can do that when she prefers lighting up over talking through stress.
downdaddy
32. I Faked My Age On A Dating Website
This secret is a bad one. When I was 15 and incredibly lonely, one summer I decided to make an OkCupid account. It’s a dating website for people 18+. I looked probably about 17 at the time but I guess I could pass for 18. So I said I was 18 on my account. I got a lot of responses from guys instantly.
There was this one that stood out to me, his name was James. He was a 22-year-old college student working at Tim Hortons, but I at 15 thought he was the most intelligent and beautiful person I'd ever met.
We talked for three months and then he turned 23. Now the age gap was 8 years. After those three summer months of staying up all night, we decided to meet up in person. It was Labor Day weekend when we met up.
He picked me up from a gas station and drove me to his house (we lived 3hrs away and I told him that my car didn't work but I only had my permit and no car.) I honestly think I fell in love with him and we hit it off completely.
He was really attractive and different from guys my age. Guys my age would make fun of how I looked because they were insecure themselves and teased me a lot when they were interested in me, which just confused me. But James would compliment me and joke with me but never made me feel insecure.
I really loved him, but when the relationship progressed he was talking about sleeping with me and I told him that I was a virgin which he was okay with. But after I turned 16 I realized that he was a 23-year-old man who could get in a lot of trouble if he was to sleep with me.
I never told him my age because I knew he'd be disgusted with himself so I just cut all ties with him all day. I figured it was selfish to keep him around. He needed somebody who could be 100% honest with him.
So in March I basically blocked him on all social media and my phone (he didn't know where I lived) and I never saw or spoke to him again. It's been 2 years but I sometimes stalk him on Facebook. He's engaged now and graduated college. I'm so happy that everything is going well for him. I'm only 18 now but I hope one day I'll find a guy who is as great as James.
gayslugmaster69
33. Junior Year of High School
In my junior year of high school, I began taking AP Sculpture. As you can probably imagine no one took the class seriously and saw it as a senior blowoff class. As such I was one of the only Juniors in the class and instantly a target for their cruelty.
Starting with name-calling and gentle ribbing it turned much more personal. It never got violent, but they would bump me while working on the wheel, essentially ruining anything I worked with. Then it escalated further to poking holes in the clay I purchased ($25, a lot for my 16-year-old self), leaving it dry and unusable. After an entire semester of hell, I decided to fight back.
Now, being an art class there was a sizable amount of independent work and the teacher generally left us students to our own devices. The teacher never hassled you as long as the requirement of 6 projects a quarter has been met.
You turned your projects in on the drying shelves with a handwritten proposal, and then the clay would be fired in the kiln. I watched my tormentors turn in their projects, and destroy them surreptitiously.
Over the course of the second semester, I proudly claim to have destroyed 80% of the projects turned in. With two weeks left in the school year, the teacher approaches these 6-7 seniors and holds one one-on-one conferences with them.
The seniors failed the class, did not walk at graduation, and had to attend the local "bad kids" school. They lost sports scholarships and acceptances to top-tier schools.
Vengence_of_Clay
34. I Made A Mistake
When I was a teenager I tried to grope my cousin who was a bit younger than me. I was really into it. One day, she was staying over at our house and I went a little too far.
She went so far as to have to set rules. That's when I stopped and realized how messed up I was. We're good friends now, and I'm seriously glad she never mentioned any of this to our family. Not sure if she forgave me or is putting up a fake front of friendship for the sake of our family. But yeah, I'm ashamed of myself.
Both of us have fairly stable, healthy relationships with significant others, and I never think of her in any inappropriate way. First time I've ever said anything about this to anyone.
Lepanto24
35. An Anonymous Report
I started working as a software developer with $22.5/hr. They made me work almost 80 hrs a week for 4 years straight. No overtime. They kept the team understaffed on purpose. After 5 yrs my pay was $35/hr, which is nothing for the amount of work and experience.
I was told: "You're on a visa, so you need this job a lot more than we need you."
I switched companies last year, then I reported my previous company to the Department of Labor anonymously. The company was investigated for tax fraud and shutdown.
They may have made a lot of money by abusing my rights, but they'll never abuse another worker ever again. I never work overtime now.
bond_juanito_bond
36. Heartbreaking Emails From My Wife
My spouse cheated on me 12 years ago and I found out 7 years ago because I spied via email years after the fact. I wasn’t even suspicious or suspected anything. I saw a folder with the name of a person I didn’t know and I clicked on it. It was full of heartbreaking emails and pictures.
I also found out she broke it off after what I believe was 10-16 months of seeing him and told the other person how much she loved me and regrets it all after she got pregnant with his child.
Reading through hundreds of emails, I found out she wasn’t 100% sure it was his child or mine. She told me she was pregnant all those years ago but told me she didn’t want any more kids and decided to terminate.
I didn’t agree with the decision but respected her wishes. She went with her father as I refused to go along. I felt horrible and guilty for years because I didn’t support her by being with her at the hospital. I felt like a piece of manure for doing that.
She told the other guy if I ever found out she’d commit suicide. She wrote about me a lot. None of it was negative. She wrote about how great of a man I am and how I took care of everyone. I couldn’t find a single negative email about our relationship.
I have never been able to confront her out of fear she’d kill herself or lose my family/her. I have forgiven her in my own mind but have never told a soul.
CorkLad212
37. Postpartum Depression
If my son ever learned about our beginnings, I feel it’d hurt him which would then ruin my life. I hated my pregnancy, I was depressed the entire time. I didn’t want to see him when they asked me if I wanted to hold him after the cesarean section. I did glance at him and the first thing I said about my son was to his dad and it was “he looks like your mother.” I didn’t want to see him after getting out of the operating theater either.
I gave him to my mother-in-law as much as possible during the two weeks she had off. So much so that my husband told me I needed to start caring for my son myself.
He states he was concerned I wouldn’t learn how to handle the baby on my own, but the idiot forgot I basically helped raise some of my nieces and nephews. I didn’t feel anything outside of responsibility for my son for the first three months of his life. I didn’t fully attach until he was about a year old.
He’s two now and although he drives me up a wall with his unlimited energy, I love him to death. I never want to risk him thinking anything was his fault, or that he shouldn’t have been born.
ImAPixiePrincess
38. Middle School Exploits Gone Wrong
Back when I was in middle school I would leave campus after school and come back around an hour or two later. My middle school was around so many stores and restaurants so I could pretty much be there without being bored.
Well, this one time I went with friends to eat Wataburger and after an hour we went to our usual spot, behind the Family Dollar, it turns out that behind a fence there was a bunch of drugs that nobody was supposed to find but since we were dumb teens in the 8th grade we found it. We decide to leave since we don't want to get in any type of trouble as any smart person would do.
We continued to walk toward the front of the family dollar and a bunch of police officers stopped us. Me and my friends are really scared because we have never been in a situation like that. The police officer comes out and asks us what we are doing back there. I said that we usually hang around back there with friends or just ourselves.
The police point behind the fence where the drugs are and ask us how we found them and what we did with them. We said in a shaky voice that we just found it by accident and that we didn't do anything with it.
All of my friends and some of the staff who knew us said that we don't do things like that. The police officer left and she looked convinced but apparently, it was gone. I had thrown it behind a broken-down shack for keeping and if any of the officers or friends knew that I would be ruined.
E19O6
39. Too Lazy to Carry Out Basic Human Tasks
I used to poop on myself until the age of thirteen, by choice. Looking back at it, I can't believe what the heck was wrong with me. I essentially couldn't bother to go to the bathroom, I was too lazy. I didn't wanna pause my video game, miss a bit of the TV show, or anything by the likes of it really.
There was even a point, probably around the age of six, where I'd scoop poop out of my butt and just smear it onto the underside of my desk. When I got older I'd just get rid of it in the shower. I'd push the poop down the drain with my toes. My parents of course knew of it but didn't make any great effort to deal with it, we'd call it p (short for poop) as a code word so I could announce if I'd done it in public.
My mom would always clean my underwear. I stopped for good once I ended up going on a 3-week summer camp where if I'd poop myself, there'd be no way out of it so I was finally forced to do the most menial of human tasks; pull down my pants, take a dump, and wipe.
I haven't thought about this section of my life for so long and writing it out is almost overwhelming. It makes me question the fundamental functionality of my mind. Were my parents at fault or was I screwed in the head from the get-go? I guess it worked out alright in the end though, I turned out fine I guess.
Other than my direct family, nobody knows.
thesilliestbilly
40. Pyromaniac
Well since I was a child, I was a pyromaniac, well addicted to fire and setting things on fire. It started around when I was 6 or 7, my parents woke up to the smell of burnt furniture. I was pretty much setting the sofa on fire and I was just playing.
Some years later, I've occasionally burned down some abandoned places which used to be a garage and car repair shop. I can't count how many times I just set things ablaze there and sometimes things got out of control...yes, the fire brigade came out almost in minutes before I could sneak out and pretend to be just a normal kid walking home after school.
I was pretty insane as a kid, one time I set the summer camp on fire at the end of summer. Man, I've seen fire before but because it was so dry out there even the trees caught fire up to 8-10 meters. I never looked back. I never asked what happened or tried to discover it myself but for sure I never got back there. It wasn't something serious but ended up really serious.
Aecyn
41. I’m Paid To Do Nothing
I get paid a six-figure salary for a standard 40-hour-a-week corporate job for a massive well well-known company. In a given week I do maybe an hour of actual work, the rest of the time I am on Reddit or YouTube slacking off.
I thought when I got this job that eventually someone would figure out I don't do anything all day but here I am 14 years later still doing nothing at all and getting paid a lot for it.
VR61661
42. Sweet Revenge
When I was fifteen, I was pissed at my sister over something forgotten. As revenge, I poked a hole in every condom in her sock drawer the same day her boyfriend came over and spent the night.
A month later she comes into my room sobbing, saying she's pregnant but she doesn't understand how because she used a condom and Mom and Dad are going to be angry with her . She was seventeen.
Now I get to watch my nephew with glee knowing I brought the child into the world, and ruined my sister's life at the same time.
throwaway234782347
43. Borderline Sociopath
I used to yell at my parents but I never felt any anger at them. In fact, I don't really remember feeling angry at anyone. I think I am asexual as well. I have never had a crush on anyone and I never have been in love. I never really felt lust, either. I've attempted to masturbate a few times but I never really felt anything.
The only emotions I remember feeling are sorrow and fear. Fear never really lasts long though. I feel sorrow for everyone once in a while. There are days in which I do nothing but cry. I only feel sorrow for myself though. I'm just a heartless woman. Most of the time though I feel nothing at all. I'm not content, just numb.
I try to hide my lack of emotions. I always try to help people and volunteer even though I feel no empathy. I've won awards for volunteering and people always say I have a huge heart. I wonder what they would think if they knew that I never felt anything for them and I only help others to hide my true nature.
Another thing I never told anyone is that I contemplated suicide since I was about 7. I attempted to kill myself when I was eight. It obviously failed and I was too much of a coward to try again. I'm 19 and I still want to die. It sounds paradoxical but the only thing keeping me from killing myself is my fear of death.
I was raised Catholic and when I was young I believed that if I committed suicide I would go to hell. When I was around 10 I stopped believing in god and I now believe that if I die, naturally or by my own hand, I will simply not exist. Non-existence scares me more than hell and it is the only thing stopping me from taking my life.
Not_a_thing
44. Wrong Body
I think I'm a transsexual (born as a man), but I have no idea how to be sure. Even if I am, there's no way I could do anything about it without losing all or most of my friends, and severely straining or breaking the relationships with my family members.
And it seems that every day that goes past my body becomes more and more unquestionably male, in some respects far more masculine than that of many of my male friends - less muscles, since I don't work out, but more hair, facial features I can't quite pin down. The hair is the worst; front, back, legs, even sporadically on otherwise bare patches. It looks disgusting regardless of my body image.
Any attempt I make at feminising my appearance (privately, of course) just looks ridiculous. So here I am, hating every aspect of my body and not having anything to do about that. And even if I did tell somebody and start doing something, what if I was wrong. Then everyone would know, and I'd have screwed over my life for no actual benefit.
And even if I could do something, would I really want to make my life harder and more complicated - as seems to happen for any transsexual - for the sake of being comfortable in my own skin? Would I feel comfortable at all. Maybe my problem is not that I'm an unfulfilled transsexual, but that my brain is conditioned to hate everything about me, and given that it extends beyond my appearance to my behavior and mannerisms, it isn't unlikely.
ANAL_GESIC
45. I Was Too Late
This was my last year. 5 years in she wanted to get engaged, she said I was the one. I wasn't sure, because she was the only girlfriend I'd ever had. So I pushed her to pursue her career while I traveled.
By the time I came home 8 months later, I was ready to settle down, but it was too late...she had found happiness in another guy. I haven't heard her voice in over 4 months...I miss my best friend…
[deleted]
46. Mom’s Buddy
I'm the reason my mom's beloved dog is dead. The only person who knows this is my ex. We had dated for six months, and then we had to take a break. I wasn't supposed to be seeing him but decided to one night anyway. I snuck out to see him, and everything was fine.
I was walking back home and saw a giant dead squirrel in the middle of the road. I got into my house and started playing Call of Duty. After about a half hour, I realized I hadn't seen my dog in a while, which was unusual because she always ran up to me.
I couldn't find her in the house and stopped dead in my tracks and remembered seeing what I thought was a gigantic squirrel.
I took off running outside to where I saw it and realized it was my mom's dog. She wasn't in the middle of the road anymore. Someone had moved her to the sidewalk. I broke down crying. I couldn't believe that I had left the gate open when I left. I was the one who got her dead.
My mom absolutely loved her. She followed my mom around everywhere and was always by her side. I stood at the road and called my mom, who was out of state, and I was crying my heart out.
I kept saying I was so sorry, and she told me it wasn't my fault, so I shouldn't be. I started crying more then, and she was trying so hard to calm me down, and I felt bad because she didn't know that it really was my fault.
I couldn't pick her up and bring her home because I couldn't touch her. Someone driving by stopped and helped me get her home. That was a really hard time.
My mom and family assume that she had a heart attack or something since I found her on the side of the road. I can't tell them that I saw her in the middle of the road 30 minutes prior. I know that someone really had hit her.
My mom was crying for weeks. It took her half a year just to be able to look at pictures of her again or to mention her without crying. I feel so awful for it and could never tell her the truth.
practicalmailbox
47. The Cheater
I dated a guy who ended up cheating on me with at least 2 other girls I work with (none of us knew about the other, as far as I know).
He left me for one of the girls, and I kept sleeping with him for about 4 and a half months after. I rationalized it because she was cheating on him, too.
That was stupid on my part, and I regret it. His girlfriend and I still work together. If our co-workers found out, I probably wouldn't have any more work friends.
Everyone thinks I'm super sweet and likes more than her for the most part. I also know my current boyfriend would think less of me if he knew about it (I met him after I stopped sleeping with my ex; I didn't cheat).
shinybutt13
48. Family Hatred
I hate my family and want nothing to do with them. I rely on my parents for my car and for insurance. I can't really go out and say I hate them since that would open a bunch of loose ends.
I just hate dealing with them. My dad has never once told me he was proud of something I accomplished on my own. He always has criticism for me.
If I ever show him I'm good at something, he deflects to, "Well, I don't know anything about that, so I don't know if you're really good at it."
It would sting and hurt me if I wasn't already used to that mentality. Nothing they do surprises me anymore. If I ever get a large, stable income, I will keep them at as far of a distance as I can without starting any problems.
[deleted]
49. Skin Concerns
This isn't anything that bad, and I don't think it would ruin my life, but I feel very uncomfortable about this. I have a 'mild' case of Psoriasis.
It's on a few parts of my skin but is very light, but there is one particular spot that isn't normal. I have Psoriasis all over my private part, mainly around the balls. It is basically like a rash that never goes away.
Every night, it gets very itchy, and I peel the skin off and scratch like crazy, sometimes causing it to bleed slightly. It's almost like a drug for me.
I take fish oil and go tanning because it is supposed to help, and it seems to help every area except my private part. I'm assuming this is because I am constantly picking the skin off.
PsoriasisBalls
50. The Naughty Hands
My cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I thought it was my perfect time.
I went into his room, stole all the money there, and took some other valuables that his parents wouldn't realize were gone. No one knows that I did it. They just assumed he didn't have any money in his room, only loose change.
I don't regret it, but I will never admit I did it.
[deleted]
51. Sad Secret
I have been lying to my parents, family, girlfriend, and friends for the past few months. I haven't been doing any of my work in college, and I'm going to fail all of my classes.
It's gotten to the point that I don't go to any of my classes anymore and just sleep through the whole day and stay up all night.
I felt like a huge dumbass for putting all of this on myself, and in a way, I beat myself up for it. I knew this would happen, and I knew the consequences of my actions, but in all honesty, I didn't care.
I'm getting "financial aid" from my parents to go to this college, and they told me at the end of last semester that if I didn't clean up my act, I wouldn't be returning.
I understand their concerns since I know college isn't the cheapest thing in the world, and I don't even know if I want to study the area I originally applied for.
Heck, I don't know what I want to do. I have a passion for things I don't think I can make a career out of or can't do well enough to do so.
I hate going to school and trying to act like I care about what's going on or that I'll actually do the homework or tests. I used to love school and learning, and now it's like a poison.
I've been lying to my friends, saying I'll be able to room with them next semester, but I know I'm going to get expelled because I'm already on academic probation and I'm failing all of my classes. Everyone is really stressed about finals, but I'm not going to show up to any of mine.
barbwirefloss
52. Piggy Bank
I let people take financial advantage of me. I feel like I'm a boring person. My ex-girlfriend asked me to move in with her after her mother passed away, and I lived in her mother’s room.
I had about 20k in the bank at 22, working hard for a good company. A year later, I hardly have 1k, and she’s sleeping with every dude in the apartment complex and not working.
I doubt I’ll see any of the 6k she owes me. I've just given money away to friends, and "friends" never getting paid back or anything.
I was driving all over the place to see people, and I'd always spend money like it was nothing, just to try and get people to like me and help me out when I needed it.
Even now, it’s hard to get a hold of someone to even stop by and just say hey, unless we are going out to eat or I've got a free drink. I'm to the point now where I don't give a darn about anyone anymore.
A friend of mine came today who never returned calls or texts. He’s been a friend since 7th grade. I thought he was going to ask for more money, and I was afraid I was going to tell him to back off and get the hell out of my apartment.
Embryo557
53. The Witness
A few months ago, my gf and I were at a party, drinking normally and having fun until she got pissed off for whatever reason at me (she typically did often). This escalated quickly as I just tried to ignore her, so she took out her anger by drinking more and more.
Finally, it was time to go home, and by this time, she was just livid at me and kept making outlandish statements, saying I was cheating on her and was always looking at others and such.
So we’re in the car, and she kept making these statements, and I am just trying to keep my calm and sit there. She won't stop. She keeps slamming on the brakes in the middle of the road and then speeding, repeating that process all the way till we get back to where my car is parked.
Once we get there, she has had enough and says, "Get the fudge out, and we’re broken up, by the way." This isn't the first time it has happened, so I just ignore it and leave, pissed off.
As I was sitting in my car texting one of my friends, I saw her ahead of me slam on the gas, but she didn't realize she was in reverse. Next, I see the car flying backward, swerving, and back into a house.
Now at this point, I am already pissed at her for getting so angry at me and yelling, plus breaking up with me. And I have been drinking too, so I can't properly understand what just happened. So I got out of there and drove away before seeing what happened to her.
I got home and just fell asleep in my bed immediately, still not comprehending what had happened. I wake up the next morning and remember the events the night before like a dream.
I called her and found out she had a DWI, Illegal backing, and an MIP. No one knows that I was there at the scene and left, potentially letting her die there.
throwaway987654321z
54. Hard Illness
I have had ulcerative colitis for 12 years. I'm constantly exhausted, in pain, and/or running to the bathroom. But the worst part is the shame.
I frequently am not able to make it to a bathroom on time and crap my pants. I dropped out of college 5 years ago because I couldn't make it from parking to class 90% of the time. It's happened at work. In movie theaters. At church. Out to eat. You name it.
Only recently have I let 3-5 of my closest friends know how bad my health has been. I feel very fortunate because I have a wife who never gives up on me.
But sometimes, I just want to give up on myself. Just like, "What the heck? Am I really supposed to deal with this forever?"
_jpstroop
55. Trapped Soul
I've never mentioned this to anyone, but I am a man who feels like a woman trapped in a man's body, but I don't like men. I’m frustrated.
I once 'joked' that I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, but it's actually fairly accurate.
There's just something about the female form, so captivating and beautiful that I wish I could be that way, which can never be the case. I would never act on this desire, but I want it so desperately sometimes... I have a wife and son, and I don't think I'd ever be able to look them in the face if this got out.
throwaway6265
56. The Oath
I'm a gay guy, and in my senior year of high school, I started hooking up with the varsity quarterback a lot. No one knew about it, and he made me swear never to tell anyone.
About halfway through the year, I started hooking up with a varsity linebacker who was also his best friend. He also made me swear never to tell anyone.
A couple weeks before school started, I also started hooking up with another guy on the team, who made me make the same oath.
The humor of watching these three friends be paranoid that each other would reject them for the same thing they all did that summer made up for the pain my asshole was in by the end of those 3 months.
gay_dude
57. Fake Sick
I faked having a chronic pain condition for 5.5 years in order to not have to attend middle school and high school (I was placed on a homebound program -- NOT homeschooling -- and allowed to study at my own pace from home).
I was able to fool a team of medical professionals, my family, my teachers, and my friends into believing that my symptoms were real.
Also, I racked up over $100,000 in medical bills for my family (that's just what the insurance didn't cover) during those 5.5 years (I did not realize the extent of the medical bills until late into my lie, and it was one of the main reasons I decided enough was enough).
Upon graduating from high school and getting accepted into a good university, I decided it was time for my "pain" to disappear. No one has questioned the fact that my symptoms vanished overnight. My medical team attributed it to the fact that I was nearing the end of puberty.
What I did was a douchebag thing, and my family is continuing to drown in debt from medical bills (I plan to pay them back someday). I simply started the hoax because I was a 12-year-old who absolutely loathed middle school.
I attempted to end the lie at the beginning of every school year but eventually fell back into saying my "pain" prevented me from attending school.
Today, I feel horrible about what I did, and I desperately want to tell everyone that it was a lie, but I know that I cannot because I will never gain credibility back again.
AwayIThrowThis
58. Big Transformation
My big confession is that, secretly, I've been trying to turn myself into a human computer, and I've actually had a love affair with my gaming rig.
When I say love affair, I mean it in a literal sense. I did a custom case mod and installed a 'fleshlight' in the front of the case where the expansion slots are.
The rig is named Deetoo after R2D2, and this is a play on my nickname D3P0. Obviously, both names are taken from Star Wars, and it's where my obsession with being part man/part computer has come from.
DamoTheAndroid
59. Just A Winner
I left work recently and said I was setting up a very specific new business, and I have told most of my friends about this as well.
The truth is I won the lottery, but I don't want anyone to know because I am afraid it will change relationships for the worse if people know.
I haven't done anything for the business yet and feel terrible making stuff up constantly. It's making me avoid people so I don't have to lie, and I don't want to set up the business just to keep the story real. It will not garner much sympathy, but I thought I'd throw it in the mix anyway....
newbie1975
60. It Was Me
Snuck into my dad's bedroom and tased him with a 1 million volt taser. He started flailing around and knocked it out of my hand.
Ran out of the house and drove off. Police were called, the taser was collected, and I assume fingerprints were recovered.
His dumbass has no idea it was me and thinks someone broke into his house just to tase him. To this day, everything’s still a mystery to him.
[deleted]
61. Little Trick
My boyfriend at the time cheated on me, and the girl he cheated with made a point of going around and telling everyone in our little town. It humiliated me.
I made a fake Facebook account pretending to be a boy, added her, and talked to her for 8 months, becoming 'her confidante.' She told me all her secrets.
I then got to the stage, where I asked her to send me revealing pictures, and she did. The pictures got put all over town, along with print screens of her secrets in the message.
She got kicked out of school, and her family disowned her. It ruined her life - she brought so much abuse over it she had to move to a different town.
The last I heard, she was unemployed and living in a dump because her parents disowned her. She has no money of her own. She has no idea who 'the boy' really was.
throwaway23012
62. The Suffering
My mom is dying right now of Muscular Dystrophy in Tucson, where she lives. I moved to Redrock, where her home is to be there for her.
This has been going on for 4 months. A part of me wants out and to run away/I want it all to be over. It's not that I want my mum to die...
It's that I am tired of seeing her suffer. Her quality of life is crap. She told me she was sorry she couldn't live longer... I have to visit her in the hospital every 3 days, which is a 40-minute drive there and back. I love my mom, but I want this suffering to end.
SkankStar
63. My Fantasy
I have been living a little fantasy that I created in my head for almost a year now. I've been dating a woman named Linda in my mind.
We go on trips together, we go to lunch together every day, and we have wonderful conversations in the car. My life with her is exactly how I'd like it to be.
In real life, I'm single, 44, and I live with extended family (I provide the house). I've never been as successful and happy as I am now that I'm dating her. It's all fake, but it's also all very real. I hope I'm not crazy.
ItsMeWM
64. Artist Mind
My brain is a bastard and keeps making faces out of everything, unlike normal people, who can see a face in a car or a moving box.
I can see faces, hands, eyes, everything! All while staring at a completely white wall. There doesn't need to be a spark.
It just happens and has been happening for as long as I can remember. I'm afraid to tell people because I think they'll just assume that I have schizophrenia and send me to a nutt house or something. I told my (now ex) girlfriend about it once, sugarcoating it and saying that it didn't scare me at all (it really does). It was scary all the time.
She flipped her crap and said she was going to take me to a shrink. I had to tell her I was joking to get her to not tell everyone.
Sam_the_duck
65. Forgetful Guy
Every once in a while, I forget how to do simple things, things you're born knowing how to do. Sounds stupid, right? It's more than just being self-aware of how I breathe or starting to walk differently after noticing it.
I actually wake up sometimes and literally have to figure out how to breathe or else pass out and have my unconscious reflexes kick in for me.
One time, I forgot how to swallow and had to spit all of what I was drinking out lest I drown like a total idiot. The one that occurs most often, though, is walking -- I lose balance, my feet turn to lead, my brain refuses to acknowledge that I'm telling it to MOVE MY LEGS, and I fall.
Now I'm of above-average intelligence, I think, so this freaks me the fudge out and makes me think I'm actually mentally handicapped. I haven't told anyone because I'm terrified of being put into a home or something.
gaspingforair
66. Aftermath of Jealousy
When I was a kid, I had a really hard time learning to ride a bike. My brother learned quickly, and my parents spent a lot of time with him.
The time they weren't spending with me...After feeling intense jealousy for a few days, I disconnected the brakes on his bicycle.
The next day, he crashed into a fire hydrant and broke his neck. He's been paralyzed from the neck down ever since. This was fifteen years ago. I've never told anybody.
throwaway8579
67. Master of Lies
I'm getting a PhD at a prestigious university and doing well. All of my colleagues think very highly of me and that I'll probably go places.
They all think I must have been the same way as an undergrad. As an undergrad, I was a compulsive liar (made up that I speak a language once ... whoops), anorexic, and I was caught cheating in an in-major class once.
Still, the teacher didn't take it to the university for some reason. I pretended to be gay all throughout college. I still don’t know why I did that.
I never had any girlfriends for that reason, but now that I'm halfway across the country, I'm dating girls all the time. I only kinda make out with a guy once, and neither of us came.
throway_loloway
68. Losing Weight
Anyway, I'd mix up weird combinations of food like tomato-flavored tuna and strawberry yogurt and leave it to fester in a warm room for a few days or a week.
I would then eat it. Why? So I'd get food poisoning and lose weight. My family thinks I have a really poor immune system, but I'm just doing it to myself.
This has been happening for the last 2 years or so after I had the stomach flu and lost a ton of weight. I remember looking into the mirror after the episode.
I saw myself being so happy with the flat stomach it gave me. Kind of ironic that the only time I felt beautiful was when I was throwing up my guts.
CynicalRealist
69. Catching Me
Every five years, on June 6th, for the past 20 years, I stay up late and watch them come for me. It doesn't matter where I am. They still get me. I haven't told anyone for fear of ridicule.
I mean, when you tell someone that, they think you're crazy. Because of this, I wake up in terror from my sleep in the months leading up to it.
I can't even have a relationship because I would end up putting that person in danger. The last time it happened, I just sat on my bed naked, crying as my door opened at around 2 am.
The next thing I know, it's 4-ish, and I'm in my living room, and I'm puking my guts out. The worst part is the dreams that I have months later. They are what worry me the most of what is actually happening to me.
Nojokescared
70. Car Part
8 years ago, we were at our holiday house. The whole family, cousins, Grandpa's, Grandma's, Aunties and Uncles. It was the day we all left for home.
My cousins and I were playing hide and seek, and I decided to hide under my Grandpa's truck. It was an awesome place to hide. After a while, I begin to inspect the truck's belly. I see something that doesn't look like it should be there and break it off.
5 hours later, we arrived home with the news that my Grandpa died in a car accident. I offed my mum's father. I ended my own Grandfather.
I didn't know what to do. I just walked into my room with the sickest feeling in the bottom of my stomach. I can still feel it as I type this. I want to say sorry to my mother. I want to go back and change what I have done.
SLOPPY_DIARRHEA
71. Dad Preference
Due to some financial hardships, I had to move back in with my parents at the ripe old age of 29. Since living here (it has been almost two years now), I met the most wonderful man I've ever dated (I'm a chick, BTW).
The "problem" is he's black. I'm white. I've dated a black guy before, years ago, and back then, my father said explicitly that he had a problem with it.
After meeting my new fella, I kept my mouth shut to see if I could tell if he'd changed his tune over the years. One day, my father (while discussing a hypothetical situation) said again he would NOT approve of me dating a black man. From then on, I definitely kept my mouth shut.
The thing is, I'm continuing to live at home because while I have a job, I make so little money that I literally cannot afford to move out.
And so, it's been a year of seeing my boyfriend and lying to my parents constantly about where I am. If they found out I was seeing a black guy, they'd be pissed.
I'd be kicked out if they found out I'd been seeing him for a year and lying to them. I keep looking for another job that pays better so I can move out.
Once I have my own place again, I'll figure out a way to tell them (maybe not the already-been-together-a-year part). If they disown me, then it'll hurt, but at least I won't be out on my ass.
redpoisondevil
72. Weirdly Happy
I once vomited through the open sunroof of a car after scarfing down an entire Big Mac Super Value Meal at Maccas. It's not precisely life-ruining, though.
The worst thing ever was when my parents passed away. I was secretly happy as heck inside that the problematic nutters they were vanished from my life at 11 years old.
I knew then, like I know now, that saying anything about it would have landed me in the funny farm. If I said anything now, I'd probably be disowned due to the rage of besmirching the memory of my sainted parents.
[deleted]
73. Personal Space
I make up lies to avoid hanging out with people. I don't know how many people I've told random crap just to get out of hanging out with them.
I don't even do anything when I lie to them...I just prefer to stay inside, on my own, with my own thoughts. It's not like I particularly detest or dislike these people--these are people I've known for years, who I would consider pretty good friends.
I don't have anyone I would consider my best friend, who I would drop everything for, not even my girlfriend of 3+ years. Don’t know if it’s weird.
It's a long-distance relationship, but at this point, it seems like a relationship swaddled in comfort, and neither of us feels like committing more than we have or breaking it up.
Just....it's comfortable. And that's the way the rest of my life is going. I just recently quit my job, and I've started going out less and seeing fewer people around.
In the name of "saving money" and "conserving what finances I have left." But deep down, I know it's really because I don't want to see anyone. Sometimes, I really just want to be left alone.
dr_dunk
74. Stinky Slide
One time, when I was about 15 years old, my brother and I were playing at an elementary school around 9pm. We were bored because we didn't have a basketball and all there was a jungle gym big enough for 5-7-year-olds.
We were way too big to play on it. Well, we spent time for at least 20 minutes before I finally had to go to the bathroom. I got too lazy to walk the 3-minute walk to my house and use the bathroom. Instead, I just dumped in the slide.
The slide had a cover over it. In other words, it was a complete tube. So the poop didn't get washed away by rain. This was a Sunday when I did this.
The next day, I stayed home playing hooky because I could see the park and the slide from my window. So, I watched the park around noon because I knew that was when the kids went to recess.
But this day was turning out to be weirder because the teachers were playing with the students. I saw a teacher pick up a student, put them in between their legs then go down my poo slide.
They both had giant streaks of dookie up their backs and on their shirts. It was big enough that I could see it from about 100 yards away at my window. There was a huge commotion. I could see kids laughing and teachers yelling. Recess got cut about 20 minutes short for them that day.
jjmoffitt
75. No Baby
My now ex-fiance cheated on me, and because of this, we were on and off for a few months. During this time, we made out, and the condom broke.
He dumped me again a while later, telling me he had multiple affairs with different girls. I felt like I deserved to get revenge, so a week or so later, I told him I just found out I was pregnant. I wasn't.
He told his family, friends, EVERYONE. I played it out because I missed being back with him, and I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me.
Eventually, I had to "miscarry" because there was no baby. We broke up, and he immigrated to a different country a month later. Everyone still thinks I was once pregnant, and that can never change.
thisismythrowawway
76. Inside My Shell
I am in a three-way gay relationship with two men who are 20+ years older than me. I met them on vacation, we really hit it off, and we have been together for 4 years.
We are "monogamous" (with just each other) and very loving. It just works. I live on the West Coast of the US, so it could be worse (not like SF, though).
I don't have any "daddy issues," whatever the hell that means. I just am attracted to older guys. No big deal to me, but I just don't ever want any of my friends and family to find out.
This can be extremely stressful. I have alienated everyone who is close to me because my situation is so taboo. Just sucks that my deep dark secret is that of love.
I KNOW I will never be comfortable talking about it openly, so there is always this strain on my mind. No one even knows I'm gay.
YeahItsWeird
77. The Girl Bestfriend
I get insanely super-attached to my guy friends, even those who are merely acquaintances. I have a boyfriend, and I love him dearly, but I fantasize about his friends and my friends and pretty much every one of my guy friends except him.
It gets to the point where I feel possessive of someone who is clearly not mine. I wish for them to always be single because they're MINE.
They're not allowed to have a girlfriend. It's not right. One college friend has a girlfriend, and I'm incredibly jealous of her, but I see him more during school time.
I obsess over them. To an extent, I've stalked two of them. I knew everything about this one guy from high school who thought it was my best friend, and so he ruined her life that year. I'm pretty sure I creeped another guy out by knowing his license plate number.
There have been times when I sat at the computer just staring at one of their pictures for an hour. My issue's bad enough to have developed alternate realities in my head for all of them to be mine. Sometimes separated, sometimes all together.
I feel ashamed when I talk to my boyfriend sometimes because I almost ruined our relationship at first because of this. Now, I spend as much time as I can with him because he drives those thoughts out of my head.
AndMySecretIs
78. Trickster Brother
When we were kids, my older brother and I put our allowance money together to buy one pack of Pokémon cards; it was the first for both of us.
To be absolutely fair about it, we decided to split the cards as they were, one by one, so that we wouldn't have to fight over the rare card.
I was in charge of the splitting. Mine, yours, mine, yours, mine, y-... holy crap motherfudging holographic Ninetails.
My brother was busy looking at his cards, so I snuck the next card out from the bottom, gave it to him, and took the Ninetails. I still wake up with night sweats.
[deleted]
79. Empty Can
I don't legitimately connect with other people, but I've gotten very good at pretending. I don't have any real friends, which I assume is because of my inability to empathize with others.
A part of me doesn't want to have kids because I don't want to pass on these tendencies. But the most messed up part of it all is that I wouldn't change any of it.
As miserable as I am on the inside, I actually do experience things that legitimately make me happy. I've never told this to anyone before.
Partially because I don't want to destroy my reputation and partially because I'm impartial to other people's thoughts on the subject.
BilledHourly
80. Personal Decision
I had an abortion a couple years ago. The guy was a horrible boyfriend, so I didn't think twice. Now, I'm in a wonderful relationship.
I'm thinking about marrying this guy in the future. We talk about having kids. I don't have the heart to tell him that if we do end up together, our first kid won't be my first pregnancy.
I feel like if I told him, he'd hate me and wouldn't think it'd be as special. It's something that I'll take to my grave. Nobody knows except for me and the guy I was dating at the time.
thisaintmyfirsttime
81. Unfaithful Choice
I'm a happily married woman of almost 14 months (I'm 26), and I did the worst thing I could do. I cheated on my husband while I was traveling on the other side of the country.
I was horny, I was drunk, but those aren't excuses. I was spending time with an old 'friend' that my husband knew about and disliked immensely, but I didn't stop myself.
I gave into temptation after YEARS of monogamy, and if my secret gets out, it will RUIN the best thing I have in my life. I don't know why I did it. I really don't.
I'm ashamed and guilt-ridden to the core. I still think about it every. Single. Day. It haunts me, and I just keep trying to be the best wife ever to make up for my disgusting actions.
Deep down, I know I'm a slut, and a whore - I cheated on my husband, and we took vows, for Christ's sake. I hate myself for this.
tthhrroowwaawwaayplz