Friendship is an invaluable asset. This means that, like any other asset, it is important to see if you are benefiting from keeping it or if you are losing it. Friends should empower you, motivate you, and be there for you. Everyone needs a social circle to realize their full potential, and indeed, everyone needs someone. However, this does not mean that you should be in a hurry or in a desperate attempt to just call anyone your friend. Keeping certain friends will only make you far worse than you were alone, so it is important to assess your friendship group and examine whether it enhances you; if it doesn’t, you should consider finding new friends. Here are some signs that you need a new group of friends for your consideration.
Constant Judgement
Your friendship group should make you feel safe. There should be room for you to be your true self and for you to share everything about yourself without feeling judged. In short, it should be a non-judgmental zone. Given that you share everything with them, you need to feel safe, listened to, and open. However, if you feel constantly judged for your lifestyle, values, or anything that is important to you, then you should consider finding a new friendship group. How could you thrive in an environment where you are seen as an accumulation of all your mistakes? If you feel constantly judged, this might be your time to find a new friendship group.
Lack of support
What is the essence of friendship if not support? Who will support you through all your losses, gains, hardships, and generally in life, if not your friends? This is an essential emotional, social, and physiological need, and if your friendship group is lacking in this aspect, then you should reconsider being part of it. Your friends are supposed to be supportive of your dreams, steps, and everything you go through. This makes you feel cared for and backed up, which gives you the confidence to tackle life. However, if your friendship group has the opposite effect on you, then maybe you just need a new group of friends who can support you.
Competition
Competition breeds jealousy, and jealousy breeds negativity. You and your friends should be happy for each other’s success, providing room for every single one of your successes within the group. There should be room for all of you to shine and win simultaneously without it becoming a competition. However, if your friendship group has become all about comparison and who is doing better than the others, you should find a new group of friends.
Lack of Common Ground
Sometimes friendship is meant to serve a purpose and go. This may seem very hard to understand and hurtful to digest, but it is true. It is normal and perfectly fine to outgrow each other and move on. This goes to say that if there is no common ground in your group anymore, it may just be time for a new chapter for you.
One-Sided Efforts
Are you the one who always calls? Are you the one who is always asking to meet up and the one who is always giving in the relationship with your friends? If this is the case, you should consider moving on from that friendship group. Friendships should be mutual. Your efforts should be reciprocated every step of the way, and if you find yourself not getting this, it may be time for you to find a new friendship group.
Lack of trust
If you cannot trust your friends, then why do you have them? It is important for you to feel safe, comfortable, and transparent with your friends. However, if you find yourself having your information leaked to the outside world, you have a problem. If you constantly have to look over your shoulder when you are with your friends, you have another issue. Trust is important when it comes to friendship. It is the line between friendship and being a stranger. If there is no trust in your friendship group, then maybe you need to find another circle of friends.
Emotion Dilemma
When you are with your friends, you need to feel at ease. If you have been stressed out all week, looking forward to spending time with your friends should bring comfort and happiness to the storm. However, if you find yourself feeling like meeting your friends will add to that stress, it may be time to consider starting a new friendship group. Your emotional needs should be met by the friendship group, and if the group does not serve that, it may be time to walk away from that friendship.
Mal-Alignment of Ethics and Values
You should never compromise your values and ethics to fit in. Your ethics and values are at your core, and if you find yourself hiding them to fit in, that friendship is not worth it. Your friendship group should be aligned with your values and ethics. Even with the differences and malalignment, there should be mutual respect and common ground. However, if the group goes against what you believe, then why are you still friends?
Feelings of Being Sidelined
Regardless of how big your friendship group is, there should be room for everyone. However, if it seems like every time you need to be excluded, then maybe you aren’t as important to them as they are to you. If you find yourself being left out or acting like a friend wheel, then you might just want to find a new friendship group that values you and keeps you actively involved.