Secret crushes are nothing new. Some people feel their first crush before they step foot in kindergarten. Others keep massive crushes on celebrities.
It doesn’t matter where, when or how they started–just about everyone has had one at some point. That said, you also know how horribly wrong a secret crush can actually go.
The worst? Finding out the person you’re crushing on is nothing like you dreamed they would be. Sadly, the people below found this out a little too late and learned exactly why they’re called “crushes.”
1. Satisfied Customer
I worked pizza delivery in high school, so to this day, I take care of food service workers. I always tip, and delivery always gets twenty percent. So one day, my crush is over, and we order a pizza. Soon, I get a knock at the door. This delivery kid was just barely 16 years old. Since I was barely 20 at the time, I could totally relate. I’d been delivering pizzas myself just a couple years earlier.
Then my crush did something that made me lose interest in an instant. She didn’t tip him. 0%. Even worse, I gave her the cash along with the tip while I was finishing up some cleaning, but she just pocketed the tip and said, “He didn’t deserve it.” He got the tip after I chased him down and apologized. She got the boot before eating pizza and wings. First and last date in under thirty minutes, thanks Dominos!
2. Money Can’t Buy You The Girl
I grew up poor and struggled through adulthood with poverty, working low-paying manual labor jobs. I agreed to a date with some older guy who just seemed like any other regular guy. After a while, he revealed he was a multimillionaire and was reluctant to tell me because women often go for his money. It made no difference in how I saw him. Until he finally revealed his true colors.
I ignored his money and always declined help, even though I was struggling. As time went on, it became about how “grateful” I should be that someone of his wealth and status would be interested in “someone like me.” He would whine about the poor receiving benefits and how people need to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps” when he had never experienced poverty in his entire life.
When I started to pull away he started trying to throw more money at me, but it had the opposite effect he intended. I just don’t find wealth to be a determining factor in who I date.
3. Copy Crush
In my mid-20s, I had known my crush for quite a while. She seemed really nice, was quite intelligent and friendly, everyone liked her. She would sometimes be kind of flaky with some weird excuses when we were supposed to meet, whether casually or professionally, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that’s why I never realized the truth about her. Then one day, we had to work on a project together.
It wasn’t something too serious so I told her I can do it on my own since it’s not a lot of work. She insisted that we split the work so I agreed. I did my part and she was late with hers with some strange excuses revolving around getting stuck on it and needing to spend some extra time fixing parts of it. Finally, she submitted it. I took one look, and my stomach dropped. She straight up copied it all and didn’t even bother changing the original author’s name from the documents.
I confronted her about it saying that I literally suggested I do it on my own for the both of us instead of splitting the work. She denied everything, even when I mentioned it’s not her name on the documents, she said she was just using some reference materials and must have accidentally copied it as is. Needless to say, I refused to work with her professionally ever again.
Luckily she didn’t stick around for long afterward anyway. I brought it up shortly after with a mutual friend who straight up laughed and said that it sounds like her alright. Apparently, this girl lies so much that she’s reached the point where she believes the lies. Pretty much stopped talking to her altogether after that. I couldn’t trust her not to screw us both over professionally, and I imagine a personal relationship would go even worse.
4. Young Love
The sister of a girl I had a years-long crush on in school worked at a restaurant with me when I was 16 years old. As awkward as it felt, I soon developed a strong attraction to her as well. I remember feeling this amazing elation at even the smallest little things, when she’d talk to me, and when the planets would align and we would both happen to be closing on the same night.
On those nights, she would sometimes offer to drive me home. Being a year or so older she already had a car, and she knew it was a long walk for me. I made the mistake of allowing myself to think that she might be interested, and not just a friendly, generous person. That was a recipe for disaster. One of those nights, we walked out to her car and as I was getting in, I noticed the child seat in the back which I had never seen there before.
At that point, I guess I was pretty naive and sheltered. I would hear stories and rumors about high school kids getting pregnant, but I had never known anyone in that situation before. I certainly had no idea that she had a child, and I felt like my whole worldview was crumbling. Not only was she totally not available, she was a mom.
I handled it very poorly. As the confused river of thoughts was raging through my head, I didn’t say much for the entire ride home. I guess my shock was pretty visible as she noticed and commented on it. I felt terrible, but I really had no idea what to say.
5. Not Invited
I really fancied a girl at school for several years. I was the weird geeky one, before geeky was in any way acceptable let alone cool, and she was right in the “it crowd.” She called my house one night to ask something about a homework thing she was having trouble with. I made sure she regretted it. Immediately, I offered to come to her place and go through it with her.
She said no, there was no need to do that, but I basically refused to take no for an answer, said I’d be right over and hung up. She lived two towns over, so I jumped on my bike, rode to the train station, went three stops, and cycled to her house. The trip would have been about half an hour. She answered the door looking confused and nervous.
I was out of breath and sweaty. Her older sister stood behind her looking wary and protective. She let me in, I helped with the problem, then finally sensing that I wasn’t welcome, I left and went home. Dear god, if I could go back in time and punch one person, it would be teenage me.
6. Two Timing
This was many years ago, like 17 years or so. I was finally meeting up with my crush—but what she said broke my heart. She revealed that she had slept with someone thirty minutes prior to meeting up with me, for one. Not just that, the guy had a girlfriend already and she knew the girl. She slept with him because he kept insisting that he would get with her, and kept talking about how good he supposedly was in bed.
That was not how I pictured my night going, but at least I got a little chuckle out of it when she called him a one-pump chump.
7. Candy Crush
In 6th grade, I had a crush on the prettiest girl in school. We were actually pretty good friends but I had a huge crush on her. It was becoming a problem. Well her birthday came around and I thought it to be a good idea to get her something. So I go to the mall and buy her some like Bath and Body Works lotion and perfume. I go home and wrap it all up in a gift bag.
Then the next day I wake up super nervous to give her this gift but I was sure after I gave it to her that we would fall in love and get married. I walk into school later that morning and meet her at her locker to give her the present. I give it to her, get a hug, which made it all worth it and continue on with my day.
Later on, I get home and my mom asks how it went. I tell her great and she asked how she liked the gift, which I didn’t know because I wasn’t there when she opened it. Well, this is when my world exploded. My mom then asked me, “Do you think she’ll like the candy?” Confused I asked, “What candy?” Turns out, my mom emptied a bag of jelly beans into the gift bag without telling me.
Not even all different types of candy, just opened one of those giant bags of Jelly Beans and poured it into the bag. I wanted to die. The next day I was so embarrassed and nervous to see my crush, but when I saw her she just thanked me and said she loved everything. I felt a flood of relief—but the truth came out eventually. Fast forward to high school and I’m still good friends with this girl and that day gets brought up.
Turns out she thought the Jelly Beans were the weirdest thing she ever saw. It definitely ended any romantic thoughts she might have had about me. All my fears were confirmed. At least I was able to explain what happened and that my mom had been behind the jelly beans. We laughed about it and she just made fun of me about it for a while. Sometimes I still cringe when I think about it. Thanks mom.
I wish I was still close with her, she’s still beautiful and even went on to become a cheerleader for an NFL team. So basically I gave an NFL cheerleader the weirdest gift she has ever gotten and she made fun of me about it behind my back for years, and then to my face for a couple more years.
8. Slapped Nonsense
I had a super intense crush on this girl. I gave it up when she almost killed me. While I was driving her somewhere, she suddenly slapped me while I was driving through a busy intersection. I freaked out and asked what the heck she was doing. Apparently, she thought I laughed at her while she was singing. I wasn’t laughing before, and I definitely wasn’t laughing after.
9. Can’t Keep One
My crush still flirted with other girls after expressing interest in me and let them sit on his lap. I ended it before it even really began. A year later he asked if I wanted to fool around. I said no. About a month after that I saw that he had a girlfriend when she tagged him in a Facebook post saying, “Happy 6-month anniversary.” Bullet: dodged.
10. I’ll Make A Man Out Of You
My crush and I had maybe three dates and were fooling around after on the bed when she said it’s too soon and we should wait. And I said, “Alright if that’s what you want that’s no problem at all.” Then she sighed and said something disturbing: “A real man takes what he wants.” I showed her the door after explaining that a real man respects a woman’s boundaries and that we won’t be doing this again.
In this day and age a real man does absolutely not “take what he wants.” It goes double when you are just beginning to date and don’t know each other that well.
11. Better Online
Back when I was about 17 years old, I started talking to a girl online. I had mutual friends with her but we’d never met. We clicked instantly and it soon progressed to phone calls. We would talk on the phone for hours every day. We obviously liked each other in a potential romantic way so we finally agreed to meet, and when we did there was just nothing.
She wasn’t unattractive or anything, just all the chemistry we thought we had vanished the second we met. All those hours spent talking on the phone about deeply personal things but when we were with each other it turned into awkward small talk. It was the weirdest thing.We pretty quickly fell out of touch after that.
12. We Have The Same Parents
One time I was talking to a woman for a couple of weeks and we were pretty flirty, hanging out quite a bit, etc. It pretty clearly felt like we were heading towards a relationship. Then, in the middle of the night, she calls me, crying. She was at a party that my brother was at, and she made out with him. Though she apologized for a ton, and I don’t blame my brother—he didn’t know about what had been going on with her—I instantly lost interest. The thought of kissing someone romantically who has kissed my brother romantically? Disgusting.
13. Not Your Money, Not Your Say
I went on a first date with a girl I would say was out of my league to dinner. She was negative the whole time about our server even though everything was great. That was a red flag. I paid the bill and my date just looked at me oddly. She said, “You don’t have to do that you know.” So I’m just like, “Uh, do what?” I wasn’t prepared for her reply: “Tip. Take your money back. You’re not leaving her anything extra.”
Like bruh, I’ve worked in restaurants my whole life, our service was great, and I’m the one paying. How are you going to be rude and on top of that tell me that I’m not allowed to tip our server? Screw off.
14. Head In The Clouds
I’m from Germany and we have three different kinds of high school. One is preparing you for university, one is preparing you for a mix of apprenticeship and some higher education and the other is to prepare you for a manual labor apprenticeship. I went to the first one and met a girl there who seemed amazing…until she made fun of people from the other two forms of high school.
Arrogance is an immediate turn-off, especially if it’s completely unsubstantiated.
15. Hey I Just Met You, And You’re Crazy
My crush turned out to be absolutely insane. She just decided on our third meeting to unload with all sorts of insanity. It was a ceaseless, unrelenting rambling incoherent stream of insanity for about an hour with stuff like conspiracy theories, like all of them. Then, abruptly, she just propositions me out of the blue: “Are you going to sleep with me or not?”
And before I could even respond, she went right back into the avalanche of conspiracy theories. Needless to say, I bowed out of the situation as rapidly as possible.
16. Not So Funny
My crush was friends with these two girls who would constantly just be super annoying and rude for no reason, and one day, one of the girls asked if they could borrow five bucks from me. I said no, and then she hit me hard with her shoulder and said, “Whatever, tramp.” I was so stunned, and I started getting kinda teary eyed.
When I went to go talk to my crush, she asked me what was wrong and why I was crying, so I told her what happened. She just looked over to her friend who called me a tramp and said, “Sadieee! You said that? You’re so funny!” as she laughed. Needless to say, that kinda destroyed my interest in her.
17. Can’t Be Your Hero
I lost interest in my crush when I realized that she has been lying to me all the time while I fought for her. She kept saying she was interested in me, but that she just wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment. Then literally a week later she called me so excited to tell me about this dude she’s been hooking up with for a while now.
Just a week after I told her about my true feelings for her? That hurt.
18. Lost Your Chance
In high school, I had a silly crush on a girl I hardly ever talked to. It lasted for as long as we went to high school together. We weren’t even friends, or acquaintances. I just thought she was great in every way possible. We talked very seldom, and I remember only one instance in particular where we talked for more than ten minutes.
Then I went off to college, dated other girls, fell in love a couple of times and lived life. We never talked once in this time, because like I said, we weren’t even friends. I did think of her every now and then, though, but just as a memory of someone I knew in high school. At a random party, about five years later, I saw this girl again and we talked briefly.
Immediately, I was reminded of everything wonderful I felt toward her. But that was fleeting, and we didn’t exchange numbers or anything. Two or three more years passed and I somehow came across her on Facebook. I added her as a friend. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. She immediately started talking to me as if we had known each other for years, though I was expecting her to not even remember who I was.
And then, for the first time ever, we actually hung out. Then we hung out more. And it’s like the last seven or eight years somehow had fueled some subconscious crush on this girl in her absence, and us hanging out set the spark and I went mad with infatuation. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and our friendship turned out to be really awesome and long overdue.
As I tried to muster up the courage to finally take the next step toward rejection, I was met with a pre-rejection rejection by news of her beginning to date another guy. My silly little dreams were shattered, but my crush seemed to linger on. We continued to hang out on the rare occasion that we both had time, we live hours away from one another and I looked forward to those moments more than anything else.
This whole Facebook leading to getting back in touch and becoming friends thing happened just last year. Embarrassingly enough, my crush remains. It’s pathetic. I’m miserable. We haven’t hung out in a while, and that’s probably for the best. I would call this the worst crush I’ve ever had because I’m not 15 years old, I’m 26 years old now and this makes me feel like a teenager again.
I also can’t seem to get over it, no matter where I go, who I meet, how busy I am, or what I do. I know it will go away, I just need to find a way to fill my time until it does.
19. Evil Play
There’s a simple game—one I actually heard about on Reddit—to learn more about someone. Like when you’re sitting in a cafe or having a stroll in the park, you choose a random person and ask your crush to play a game about imagining what their life is about, what hobbies they maybe have, what background they have, etc. From time to time my crush got outright nasty.
She was imagining the worst things about people, then just started flat-out insulting them. At that point, I enjoyed the rest of the evening, but I knew that we would never be compatible.
20. Not A Joke
My crush and I didn’t have the same sense of dark humor, to the point that he tried to lecture me about a joke I had made about my own uncle. Yeah, don’t think this is gonna work out.
21. Work On Your Goals
My crush had zero motivation to progress in life. It put me off as this is something they specifically complained about, but they had ample opportunity to buckle down and bring about the change they desired. But no. Instead it was just sulking all the time. I am the polar opposite. So it just made me feel depressed. They are a lovely person, but better suited to someone else.
22. Worse Than Dark Humour
I watched my crush laugh and get really excited when a dog was getting shocked with one of those shock collars. He enjoyed that way too much and wanted to encourage the dog to go outside the boundary. Fortunately, the owner wouldn’t let him. I completely wrote him off that day.
23. Change Your Mindset
My crush’s views on certain rights everybody should have made me lose interest in them. He believed firmly that women were just supposed to stay home and bear kids while the man was supposed to go to university and provide. They weren’t even religious, either, just came from a small town.
24. Crushing On A Karen
I saw my crush demand to speak to the manager in the university food hall. I couldn’t fully hear the conversation but it was something to do with the mayonnaise on her sandwich not being quite right. It was her tone that I won’t forget. Maybe she was in the right about the mayonnaise, it could have gone off or something, I really don’t know, but either way, there was no reason to speak to the staff members in the way she did.
25. Stalker Much?
My crush visited me at my job way too many times. My boss and coworker immediately saw red flags. They eventually told her that I wasn’t interested anymore, yet she stalked me for another two weeks and claimed she saw a therapist. Fast forward to today and she is doing the same stuff to her new man. Crisis averted.
26. Can’t Stand The Sound
My crush had an unnaturally high voice. I used to see her in my class and she was in another batch. She used to pass me by while I waited in line to get to my bench. She was so beautiful. I was 16 years old and in love. I didn’t talk to her for 6 months. One day our classes were merged and heard her talk. My perfect illusion was shattered. Her voice was so high, it actually grated my ears.
I have a thing about noise and after that, I couldn’t look at her without getting that brrr feeling you get at dentists.
27. Forget You
I saw my crush sitting sad and alone in the university café, but when I asked her if she was all right, she told me, “I don’t wanna talk to anyone,” so I gave her space. As I was going upstairs, I looked back at her speaking with another guy. I was like, “Yep, forget her.”
28. Threw Him Out
I had a crush on a guy for almost three years. He was funny, charming, and easy on the eyes. We didn’t see each for a little bit and then wound up living in the same building for a while. We decided to grab food, and he was just such a different person than either he used to be or than how I had built him up in my mind to be.
He was stuck in the past, kind of mean about other people, and honestly just unpleasant to be around. It was sad because the timing seemed to finally work out, but I just couldn’t stomach him.
29. Drama Starter
I had said I didn’t want to support a particular celebrity family who has very different morals and politics from me, and I just don’t tend to like celebrities anyway. My crush’s response floored me. This dude reported me to the owners of the bar where we were hanging out. He claimed that I had gone on a rant telling everyone that nobody was ever allowed to like said celebrities and that everyone who agreed with said celebrities were idiots and some other stuff.
It let me know some key things. We were politically and morally incompatible, he was a coward and a snowflake, and if we did get together, he would make any disagreement into a public thing and paint me in the worst possible light, even if he had to lie to do it.
30. Can’t Commit Too Long
My crush had 13 relationships in 13 years and she had the audacity to complain about abandonment issues and not getting what she needs out of relationships. Like, did you try staying in one for more than five seconds? There’s a non-zero chance she gave one of these exes abandonment issues. Maybe if I felt like breaking my heart on someone I would ask her out.
The kicker is that she’s a really cool and attractive person. Also a really good friend. But I think she has issues with commitment that she projects onto partners.
31. Just Another Name On The List
This guy had shown interest in me and I was getting a crush, but as we talked more, he felt more and more like a player to me. Mind you we were both going to high school and his other relationships were obviously nothing serious, but I don’t like it when someone plays with girls. He just kept bringing up his exes and it started to weird me out. But this was just the beginning.
Every girl I met that went out with him spoke horribly about him, which I never really understood because he was overall an ok dude. I don’t think he necessarily wanted to make them feel bad, but the converstation he had with me was an instant turn off for me. I thought to myself, “Well after a couple months I’ll just become another in a long line of pseudo girlfriends, and I don’t need that right now.”
I wasn’t in the best place mentally at the time, either. There was no confession of feelings on either parts and when he saw I stopped responding to the romantic advances, he stopped insisting. We remained friends for a couple years, and when we left high school we each went our merry ways and lost contact. He wasn’t a bad guy, but I felt like I didn’t want to become part of the long quest he had for whatever he was seeking.
For once I chose to put my mental health first, and I thought that kind of relationship wouldn’t do good for it.
32. You Want Me Or Not?
When I took initiative my crush ignored me, so I figured, okay, he’s not interested. It happens. The moment I stopped paying attention to him and taking the initiative, he came back around. Cool, I thought, maybe I was wrong. Nope. When I was responsive to it, he suddenly seemed to be uninterested again. This guy only seemed to think I was interesting if I was ignoring him.
That’s just not how I like my relationships to be.
33. Not Interested
When my crush didn’t treat me back the way I treated her, I lost interest. She was barely answering anything I asked, and when she did, she would look like she was being forced to. Just from her body language I knew back then she wasn’t worth the trouble, especially when I argued with my family about how good she is and that she’s the one, and they said that she’s not good for me and I can do better.
I guess they were right.
34. Idiot I’m Home
My crush thought that insulting me in another language was “charming.” That I was bound to swoon for her after her pet name for me was something like “idiot.” When I asked her why she called me that; she said because she didn’t know enough of the other language and that it’s a “term of endearment.”
35. Can’t Be Serious
I heard my crush sitting across from me talking to her friends about her intimate encounters with older men, flavored condoms, even some more explicit stuff. She and I were 12 years old. She also asked me out that same day and I passed. She and I were still friends, but I was no longer interested. In retrospect, she might have made a lot of it up, as kids do, but it was quite deterring for me at the time.
36. Either Stay Or Leave
Despite being enthusiastic about being friends, hanging out, and chatting daily, every time we had plans, my crush bailed. It has gotten to the point that when I ask her that kind of, “Okay, where we meeting up?” or “You ready?” question, I’ve taken to assuming the response is her excuse to not hang out when she responds.
I’ve never once expressed a romantic interest to her, we’re just friends, so this is just her lack of being present in my life. She’s more than happy to post pics of her hanging out with other people. It’s totally ruined my motivation to even be friends, unless she decides to put some effort in.
37. Secret Admirer
I had an awful crush on a guy. We had been friends since middle school. He carried me to the nurse’s office when I hurt my knee playing kickball, and was as rabid about video games as I am. He was also, aside from being pretty good-looking, a hilarious guy. Sure, we teased each other mercilessly, but it was all in jest, and started to become an inside joke.
That being said, he always seemed to be with someone. He always dated within our circle of friends, which was basically a dozen or so girls and a couple guys. Soon it was as if almost everyone had been with him except me. And, because I was incredibly shy around guys romantically, I didn’t say anything. Sure, I dropped my hints, but I wasn’t going to jump into his lap.
So I would sit next to him secretly fuming as he flirted with girls he wasn’t with, and I even gave him relationship advice a couple of times. But I never got anything aside from, “you looked fabulous at prom, by the way.” To this day, he still doesn’t know. We now go to rival schools. Part of me wishes that I’d told him.
But I’m also kind of glad that I didn’t, because he was honestly probably not a great choice, given his lengthy relationship history.
38. Switch Up
I was somewhat friends with my crush because we sat next to each other, but outside that I would only see him with his own friend group. I was really digging him—until I saw how he talked to people who were not his friends. He was always rude and uninterested. I was kinda shocked because of how I always saw him, he was always outgoing and nice.
The way he treated teachers too, he never paid attention and was disrespectful. I’m all for hating a teacher that is harsh for no reason, but this dude was so rude to the English teacher who everyone liked when she was so sweet. She ended up crying because he made fun of her that bad, while his friend group laughed. I stopped being friends and stopped having a crush on him after that.
39. It’s A Nope From Me
I was crushing on my new would-be landlord. We hung out for a while chatting, and had a great conversation, but then I saw her get real nasty with her 5-year-old daughter. It was an incredible turn-off. No more small talk after that. I rented the house, which was also a mistake, as she was not just a nasty mom, but a nasty person.
40. Biggest Regret
When I was 17 years old, I met this girl in one of my classes. She asked me for help with her math homework, and I was the only student in our class who was able to help since I had taken that class before. We started chatting and became friends, and I fell for her really fast. I really enjoyed talking to her, we knew how to make each other laugh, and she was, and still is, absolutely gorgeous.
However, I had no self-esteem or confidence. I had recently lost a lot of weight so while I wasn’t fat anymore, I still had “fat guy confidence,” and assumed a girl as fun, smart, and beautiful as her could never be interested in someone like me. My friends told me she liked me and that I should ask her to prom, but I was so convinced she couldn’t possibly feel that way that I ignored many obvious hints that she liked me.
She’d frequently compliment me, go out of her way to talk to me, message me, and so on, and I would rationalize it away as her just being nice. In fact, I hated the fact that I had such a big crush on her, and I started distancing myself from her and ignoring her in the hopes of getting over her, probably to the point where she thought I didn’t even like her as a friend.
I didn’t ask her to prom, graduated, and left for college while she had one year of high school left. I did accidentally run into her a few times after I went to college, and each time she was so excited to see me and I still acted a bit distant. I lost contact with her four years ago, and to this day not asking her out is still one of my biggest regrets.
41. Friends Before Crushes
My crush was making fun of one of my closest friends with her friends. They were calling him a loser and just being mean. I told her she was a mean girl and it was terrible to talk about people with them not there, and even worse to do it in front of a friend like I would choose her over him. I dipped and told her to get a ride home with her friends.
42. Not The One
I had a crush on my ex-coworker who ended up becoming a good friend. She’s beautiful and super talented. I did a lot of stuff for her. I gave her moral support to switch to a job that would make her happy even though it would force her to leave the city I was in. I took her up North on a surprise nighttime trip to show her the stars since living in the big city, we rarely get to see them.
I found a rare record of Marvin Gaye and spent 12 hours on a bus ride just to see her for five minutes as she had her first big art show in the biggest city in the country. Then I had to hop back on the bus quickly since I had to go back to work the next day. I took her to the hospital when her terrible ex-boyfriend couldn’t have cared less.
In return, even though it was expensive for her, she would spend a lot of money flying coast to coast to visit me for a couple days. The buskers in the subway sometimes played violin and we would dance to it. We would go out to concerts and dance our faces off. I organized the “Best Chocolates of NYC” tour so that she could devour artistic creations she would never get in her town.
I also spent weeks ahead of time perfecting a recipe for a surprise picnic at Central Park. And of course, we always had those great moments. We’d stare into each others eyes, smile, and just laugh. Alas she liked another guy and that was that. Four years, down the drain. No, I don’t look for pity, sympathy, or even a cold bucket of water.
I know it was stupid to like someone for that long, to put in so much for someone who wasn’t a girlfriend. But hey, you live and you learn.
43. First Heartbreak
First girl I ever had a crush on liked this dude in a band. 12-year-old me thinks, “If I learn an instrument, she’ll like me, too!” So I convince my parents to buy me a drum set. One day, I ask her what her favorite song is. She says “One” by Metallica. I spend two weeks learning that song on the drums, eventually developing what would become chronic tendinitis in my right arm.
I ask her to come over to hang out and listen to music. She comes over. I’m goofing around on my drums, hanging out, waiting for “One” to come on the CD player. Then my best guy friend shows up. Total clam jam, but whatever, we’ll get past it. Twenty minutes later, they’re making out in my pool and I’m sitting alone on the pool deck.
44. You, Me, And The Third Wheel
I realized my crush had to take her bestie literally everywhere. It was weird. We would hang out and she would come. We would go on a date and she would come. We’d go to a movie and she would either come or my crush would be texting her the entire time. Every night she would just come over and watch TV with us. It really got old.
We are still friends on Facebook. My old crush is married now and I see all these pictures of her and her husband in Greece, Paris, Safaris in Africa, and you guessed it, the third wheel is in all the pictures.
45. Take A Hint
When I was in high school I really liked this girl. Once at a party, we were talking and my friend came over and told me loudly, “She wants to make out with you”. I saw her nod in response but I was so embarrassed that I laughed and then left. A few months later, she was asked to prom by some other dude. She turned him down and then asked me to prom. We went together.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I realized she also liked me because her friend had to tell me that. I haven’t seen her since.
46. What A Disappointment
There was a girl who I saw at the club maybe twice in three months and she hit every attraction metric I had at the time. The third time I saw her, I got up the courage to approach her and we hit it off. She was great but she drank a little too much during the night. At the end of the night she accepted an offer to come to my house.
When we got to my house she asked me to make her drinks. By this point, she was wasted. I put her in my bed and during the night she peed the bed and was so out that she didn’t wake up. I’ve never been so disappointed in another human being. We never spoke again but I looked her up years later and she got busted in a sting operation for selling fake purses.
47. It’s All About Him
I went on a date with my high school crush. At first, I thought my dreams had come true. It turned out more like a nightmare. He immediately became very aggressive towards me whenever I looked away or tried to talk about the things I like. He only wanted me to talk about him, to him, and to be as quiet as possible around him and his friends. Turns out, he was into “submissive girls.” He made me feel humiliated after just a couple hours with him.
I lost my interest, but I was very disappointed because my vision of him was a totally different person. I created a different version of him in my mind, and that’s the person I fell for. This was a long time ago and fortunately, I managed to escape him. He only got worse after high school. Now we’re both adults and he was twice charged, first for beating his girlfriend and second for harassing a high school girl.
He was very good looking though and still is but his behavior is just yuck.
48. Bad Catch
In 8th grade, I had this all-consuming crush on a guy in my science class. He was pretty popular, but didn’t run with one set group. Meanwhile, I was at the epicenter of the anime club crowd, and very much obsessed with Lord of the Rings and similar high fantasy. Despite our middle school social class differences, this guy and I had a good rapport going in 5th-period science every day.
He would ask me for a pencil every day in class, and I ended up just keeping a bunch in my backpack just for him. We grew to be pretty good friends, at least in my mind. Somewhere in this time, he was elected school president. This meant that at the end of the year, he would get to throw out the first pitch at our annual baseball game/fundraiser night. That was the night when everything went wrong.
I begged my parents to get our family seats at the game. They obliged, and by some miracle, our seats were right below his family’s. As we were all waiting for the game to begin, people were tossing around beach balls in the stands. I could see my crush yearning to catch the ball, so I reasoned that if I caught it and tossed it to him, this would result in my declaration of undying love.
I began watching the nearest beach ball, half hoping that I had some sort of latent telepathy or something, since that was the only way my nerdy, uncoordinated self was ever going to catch the ball. Lo and behold, the beach ball drew near! I saw it flying closer, closer, and then it was right over me. Instantly forgetting my lack of athletic talent, I leapt up, arms outstretched like some olympian. I regretted it almost instantly.
The ball soared right over my head just as I reached the apex of my jump. And then I began to fall. What I hadn’t realized was that I had not only jumped up, but I had also jumped out quite a way. So when I descended, I didn’t land back in my row of seats at all. Instead, I landed in the row below me, smack on top of my pervy math teacher and his girlfriend.
This caused quite a stir in the crowd, and of course my crush saw the whole thing. He and his family had a laugh at my expense. It was utterly humiliating. Needless to say, there were no grand declarations of love that evening. Of course, because I’m stupid and can’t let go of things, I continued to have a crush on this guy for the next four years.
This crush also spawned a lot of angsty poetry and thinly-veiled wish-fulfillment fiction.
49. Bad Prank
My crush and I were hanging out for a long time. She even told me that she had strong feelings for me…then proceeded to send me a Snapchat of her sleeping with a mutual friend of ours. Needless to say, I lost interest. Later she said it was just a prank and the guy had bought her a bottle of booze. We were 16.