By liza / Nov 3, 2022
He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Nearly all of his groceries were gone again. “Are you kidding me?” he shouted. His roommate had eaten his food again and wouldn’t admit to it.
He looked at her shelf and noticed an unlabeled jar. He grabbed it and began plotting his revenge. “She’ll never touch my food again,” he thought. What was he going to do?
Ellis was a hard-working college student who shared an apartment on campus with three other people. He liked living with them at first. Everyone would clean and respect each other. But then, one of his roommates began to steal his food.
He tried talking to her about it, but she would always come up with an excuse.
Ellis and his roommates initially agreed that stuff like milk, eggs, bread, and butter would be bought communally. However, this arrangement didn’t work out well for them.
Ellis soon realized that he was the only one buying pantry staples. To make matters even worse, his food started disappearing from the fridge.
It all began when his roommate’s girlfriend moved in with them. Ellis immediately noticed that his milk started to disappear and other treats he had bought for himself.
None of his roommates would own up to it. But Ellis wasn’t going to let it slide.
Labeling The Food
Ellis started to label all his food in the fridge and the shelves, but despite all this effort, the food kept disappearing.
Ellis wasn’t a greedy person. He would never say no if someone asked to borrow his food. But the fact that no one would own up to taking his groceries made him upset. So, he decided enough was enough. It was time to catch the sneaky thief.
Getting To Work
Ellis took a deep breath, pulled out a pen, and got to work. “I start tracking when things disappear to hatch a plan most foul,” he wrote on a popular Reddit thread called ‘petty revenge.’
“Mostly, it’s the milk and eggs that start going first.” Ellis was sure that it was Andrew’s girlfriend who kept stealing all of his food.
“Andrew and his girlfriend normally get up before me to make breakfast, so I get up before him and wait for cereal pouring, and I see him using my milk,” he continued.
“The previous level of liquid was marked with a sharpie,” Ellis wrote. “Pretty much caught in the act, our conversation goes like this: “I see you’ve got my milk there,”‘ his roommate replied.
“I thought we had an understanding, but this continues for a few more days,” Ellis continued. But Andrew and his girlfriend never paid him back for it. They were too lazy to go to the grocery store and soon started eating his lunches and dinners, too.
“The behavior did not stop, and he actually seemed to be eating more of my food out of spite.”
Enough Is Enough
“I would use my leftovers to meal prep for the week and told him to stop as it was expensive as well as inconvenient,” Ellis continued.
“Go into the refrigerator, and it’s gone. Looked in the trash can, and there was my chicken tenders container.” That’s when Ellis decided enough was enough.
One morning, Ellis opened the fridge and noticed an unmarked jar. He knew what he had to do next.
“I carefully opened the sandwich…” He explained. “I needed something slow acting since I didn’t want just one bite “hey, that’s spicy.”
“NO! I wanted this to build and then knock him down,” Ellis continued. “So I picked one sauce containing the Bhut Jolokia and Moruga Scorpion chili peppers.”
Ellis knew his roommates would never touch his food again after trying this ‘delicious’ sandwich.
“Both were at one time considered the hottest peppers in the world by Guinness Book,” he explained.
“I used a lot of it, but it was worth it, but I wasn’t done. HAHA!!! NO! I took out some dried reaper and ghost chilis from the refrigerator, which I use for chili and jarring pickles.”
“I cut them up into fine pieces using latex gloves, eye goggles, and a mask,” Ellis continued.
“Then, I sprinkle them onto the sandwich.” So, how did his roommates like the sandwich?
“I took extra care to place the sub right at the front of the refrigerator,” Ellis continued.
“Finally, at around 10:50 PM, I hear heavy breathing like a dog panting loudly and hear the sounds of shoes squeaking, almost like somebody was playing basketball.”
“Then I go in and see Andrew, sweating heavily, stumbling down the counter, and breathing up a hurricane,” Ellis explained.
“He resembled a fish out of the water on a hot sidewalk,” he continued. “I point towards him and say “YOU! STOP stealing my damn lunch!”’ It turns out he had shared the sandwich with his girlfriend Anna, who was crying in the corner. But Ellis knew they both deserved it.