Relationship Red Flag Quiz
No pairing is perfect, but there are some issues you can't and shouldn't ignore.
See if you can spot some of these common red flags.
Personal Time
What are your partner's thoughts on personal time?
{"answers":[{"answer":"They already know everything because we spend every moment together.","correct":false},{"answer":"We find \"me time\" very necessary.","correct":true},{"answer":"Not sure, actually. It's not really something we've talked about.","correct":false}],"answerText":" It might seem like constantly being together would be a good thing. However, SOME personal time is good/healthy for humans. Plus, it gives you more to talk about. ","answerImage":""}
Sorry, My Bad.
Does your partner admit fault? When they have screwed up, do they admit they have done something wrong and apologize?
{"answers":[{"answer":"Not really. They dig in and try to be right no matter what.","correct":false},{"answer":"They say sorry for most things because I'm usually in the right.","correct":false},{"answer":"For the most part, yes. They say sorry and mean it.","correct":true}],"answerText":" Stubbornness can be a personality trait, but to the point where someone doesn't ever (or rarely) admit they were wrong? That's not good. Same goes if you're \"usually the right one.\" ","answerImage":""}
Happiness Spillover
Do your hobbies and other pleasant activities spill joy over into your relationship?
{"answers":[{"answer":" Yes, the happiness outside our relationship comes back and nurtures it further.","correct":true},{"answer":"My partner and I don't really talk about our outside hobbies.","correct":false},{"answer":"One or both of us tune out the other person after a few sentences.","correct":false}],"answerText":" It's okay if people don't constantly gab about their \"me\" time, but personal joy can be wonderfully contagious to other people. It's okay to be an independent person. ","answerImage":""}
Ultimatum Frequency
How often do ultimatums pop up in arguments?
{"answers":[{"answer":"Nearly never. We have doubts and fears but we talk through it.","correct":true},{"answer":"My partner gets scared and tries to run by wanting to break up. ","correct":false},{"answer":"\"Ending things\" is a regular part of arguments. We just make up after.","correct":false}],"answerText":" People are human and might want to run to protect themselves. However, if \"ending things\" is their go-to, you might want to just end it. Stuff like that shouldn't be used as a relationship tool. ","answerImage":""}
Friend Count
What's their friend-situation like? -- And this means real life, not pure digital or followers.
{"answers":[{"answer":"They are sad because they don't have any friends really. ","correct":false},{"answer":"They have a few closer friends they spend time with.","correct":true},{"answer":"They have many friends, but I find them annoying. ","correct":false}],"answerText":" Being able to nurture friendship is important as a key personality indicator. If their friends are unpleasant or no one wants to be around them, it's probably a reflection of them. ","answerImage":""}
Comforting
What's their reaction when something bad happens to you?
{"answers":[{"answer":"They try to fix the problem immediately.","correct":false},{"answer":"I've had times where they didn't seem to care.","correct":false},{"answer":"They listen and try to make me feel better.","correct":true}],"answerText":" There's nothing more soul breaking than seeing your partner not care you're in pain. If you're in a crisis and they are on the computer playing games, it's time to run. ","answerImage":""}
Text Deletion
How often do they delete certain texts or their text history entirely?
{"answers":[{"answer":"It's squeaky clean. Things are regularly deleted.","correct":false},{"answer":"Oh, god. The backlog of their communication clogs up their phone.","correct":true},{"answer":"There's some deletion. A few messages here and there.","correct":false}],"answerText":" Deleting one or two accidental texts is normal. But if they are deleting all traces of their conversations (especially with certain people), that's a BAD thing. Extra red flags if they get upset when you ask them about it. ","answerImage":""}
Life Skills
How are they at chores, errands, and all the little things no one likes but we have to do it regardless?
{"answers":[{"answer":"It feels like I have to teach or show them everything.","correct":false},{"answer":"They are still learning to grasp some basic life skills.","correct":false},{"answer":"For the most part, they are a sustained adult who can get things done.","correct":true}],"answerText":" It's fine if something slipped through the cracks. For example, if they're not sure how to do home repair, people really can't be faulted. But if the dishes and laundry sit there for weeks (until you do it) because they just don't like it ... well, they really haven't grown up. ","answerImage":""}
Crazy Ex Count
How many of their exes do they describe in a negative way?
{"answers":[{"answer":"One or two.","correct":true},{"answer":"Around half.","correct":false},{"answer":"Pretty much all.","correct":false}],"answerText":" Everyone with any sort of dating past will usually have one crazy ex they wish they had never met. But if all their past squeezes are nightmares, maybe they are the common connection and the issues were theirs. Bonus flag? If everything was always everyone else's fault, then you might want to raise an eyebrow. ","answerImage":""}
Privacy Policy
How do they feel about your privacy?
{"answers":[{"answer":"We share all our passwords and usernames.","correct":false},{"answer":"You never share passwords with anyone.","correct":true},{"answer":"They are curious sometimes and ask to see.","correct":false}],"answerText":" It's perfectly okay to have your accounts and other things with passwords only you know. It's also okay if you have to share a joint account or something. But if they need to know ALL of them, that's a huge flag. It's a sign of a controlling personality. ","answerImage":""}
Work Ethic
What's their work ethic like? What's their mindset on jobs and savings?
{"answers":[{"answer":"Pretty laissez-faire.","correct":false},{"answer":"They work because they must.","correct":true},{"answer":"Work as much as they can to get those dollars.","correct":false}],"answerText":" A good balance of necessary employment and free time is key. Too far to either side shows a workaholic or a lazy layabout. ","answerImage":""}
Respect Rating
How would you describe the level of respect?
{"answers":[{"answer":"We respect each other in many ways.","correct":true},{"answer":"There's heavy questing on one or both sides.","correct":false},{"answer":"I feel a little respect slipping away.","correct":false}],"answerText":" The minute Respect Mountain starts to erode, it's a clear signal that the relationship needs life support or to end. It might seem like something small to ignore, but it can become toxic poison in the long run. ","answerImage":""}
Communication Skills
How would you describe the other person's ability to communicate?
{"answers":[{"answer":"They're not really good at it. They keep things bottled up.","correct":false},{"answer":"Our communication patterns are different.","correct":true},{"answer":"They communicate through their emotions.","correct":false}],"answerText":" Two people don't always communicate the same way - that's okay and just something to work through. But if they don't want to talk at all or they tell you what's going on through crying, screaming, and yelling, something needs to change. ","answerImage":""}
Relationship Rules
How many rules does your partner or you put on the relationship?
{"answers":[{"answer":"There are so many. It's the only way it can work.","correct":false},{"answer":"We have some mutual ones out of necessity.","correct":true},{"answer":"None. We don't believe in placing any rules on other people.","correct":false}],"answerText":" \"Don't drink in front of [person] because they are a newly recovering alcoholic\" isn't an unreasonable request. Neither is being quiet when they come home from a night out with friends because you have to work early. But having rules put on everything shows controlling and insecurity - especially if it's one-sided. ","answerImage":""}