Being Single
There seems to be a lot of societal pressure for people to find the person of their dreams. What movie protagonist these days doesn't have some kind of love interest? Few things tell people that it's actually okay to be single.
Well, we've decided to get some like-minded individuals from Reddit who speak from personal experience. They can tell us all of the reasons why being single can actually be better than being in a relationship.
No Accountability
You are accountable to no one! Eat, drink, do, spend, and feel whatever you want. You can be weird. Be gross. Be free of judgment and expectations. Your space is entirely your own. Nobody else's emotions are yours to manage.
Also, feel free to move as you wish, and travel as you wish. It's great. It's not all roses, but I quite appreciate it.
Everything's A Negotiation
Yup. When you're in a serious relationship/married, everything becomes a negotiation, from what to watch on tv tonight to how the furniture is placed to what to eat for dinner, etc., etc. Years of this becomes exhausting in a way you can't quite articulate.
But once you're free of this and can make choices both big and small without consulting someone else first, it is a very freeing sensation.
Should Be Your Best Friend
If my buddy John asked if we can get a beer alone, I'll text my wife that John needs to talk and we're gonna have a few beers.
She will then text if John is okay and will later ask me to ask John if she can call John's girlfriend to see if she is okay and needs support. If I decide I need alone time on my potter's wheel for a day, she'll bring me a PB&j and a beer and kiss, then leave me alone. She is my best friend. Why do people marry people they don't want to spend the rest of their lives with?
True Freedom
No one's in your business 24/7. I can stay up late with the lamp on reading. I can watch whatever film I like. I can eat whatever I want for dinner. I can go about my day without stepping on eggshells or having to consider someone else.
At this point in my life, it's complete bliss. I broke up with my ex in 2020, and I am still celebrating the fact that I am single. I love it.
No Obligations
No obligation. I do not miss being dragged into things I have zero interest in.
The expectation is to always be on their side, no matter their actions. I called out an ex for being a hypocrite, and they got pissed at me. Do I WANT to be single? Not really. Would I rather be single than with someone I have little in common? Hell. Yes.
Having To Explain Yourself
I remember rushing home every day because if I was even 5 minutes late getting in the door, I would have to explain myself. Then I would walk in perfectly on time, and he'd still be in a horrible mood.
Now I can spend the whole day driving around doing absolutely nothing, and I don't have to explain it to anybody, and going home is actually an enjoyable thought.
Having To Debate What To Do
Wanna watch a movie? I pick what I want and don't have to debate what we're both in the mood for, or whose turn it is to pick, or "I don't like scary movies, let's watch a rom-com!" Wanna get something to eat?
I go get what sounds good to me and don't have to hem and haw for an hour over what sounds good to you but not to me, then me but not you, and then finally settle on something that neither of us really wants but we can both deal with when all I want in this world is sushi. Wanna sleep till noon on my day off, then get up and just play video games all afternoon?
Things Being Where You Left Them
Stuff in my home is exactly where I left it. I'm not actually single, but this is what I remember from when I was. Other people have all kinds of weird habits that make your life difficult.
Want to wash a pan? Someone's filled the sink with plates! Go to find your keys? Someone couldn't find theirs and has borrowed yours and thinks they may be in their coat pocket! Where's the coat? They can't remember!
Having To Explain Yourself
Got off work at an indecent hour?
I don't have to sneak into bed and then have an awkward conversation that I'm too tired to have when I wake them up, and they ask what time it is, why I'm so late, what kept me, and how was my day when the only thing I want to do is close my eyes and rest.
Not Being Able To Enjoy Hobbies
I have so many hobbies. When I was in a relationship, I couldn't do any of them. I even had a hard time making time for school work. Now that I'm out of a relationship, I've been playing music, painting, coding, etc.
Literally today, I finished designing and making the wooden case for some headphones I'm making.
Learning Who You Are As An Individual
I was engaged but broke it off in July after putting up with a lot of disrespect from him and his family. I had quite a bit of money put aside for our wedding, but now I can spend it on things I've wanted for a very long time.
I am finally taking care of myself and learning more about who I am as an individual instead of being someone's fiancée.
Seeing How Much You've Changed
As someone who got out of a 3-year-long relationship about four months ago, I would say one of the biggest things that makes me happy about being single is being able to see myself clearly again. You don't realize how much being in a relationship can blind you to how you've changed or how love can numb you to certain things.
When I got out of that relationship and once the initial crying and being depressed phase ended, I slowly realized how much happier I was and how much I've changed, some of it good and some bad, but it was like being able to see myself through a clear lens and not through a distorted one.
Making Your Own Decisions
Call me selfish, but I like the freedom to wake up and go to sleep when I want to, to decorate and organize my home (that I bought and paid off on my own) as I like, to make my plans and schedule as I see fit, to watch/read/play whatever I want.
I have the freedom to buy and wear whatever I want, to cook and eat whatever I want (and not have to share), and to make long-term financial and career goals without having to worry about them conflicting with someone else's
The Second-Best Option
I read this article a while ago that really clarified my feelings on this. Studies show that people who are married are, on average, slightly happier than people who are not married, which has been known for a long time, so people have sort of internalized the idea that marriage equals happiness.
But when you break down the numbers in that, what it actually looks like is that people in happy marriages are much happier than everyone else, and people in unhappy marriages are much less happy than everyone else. So being in a good relationship is the best situation. But being single is the second-best and far better than being in a bad relationship.