1. Sorry but not sorry
About a decade ago I was having my suspicions and I caught my long-time girlfriend cheating when I logged into her Facebook page and read her messages. There were like 3 or 4 dudes in her DMs with graphic, graphic conversations about stuff they’d done, and want to do.
The first thing my sorry ass texted her was an apology for going through her Facebook. But then I told her she can pick her shit up and feck off. She didn’t even acknowledge the cheating accusations, the first thing she did was give me shit for logging into her Facebook. What a screwed up relationship that was.
RRSC14
2. Blame on addiction
I walked in on my ex-wife with two guys because she "really needed more tramadol and they were going to give it to me for free if I helped them out." There was nothing I could do in the face of that logic, but sadly, I let myself get hurt.
I made rash choices that were clearly in error when she called me that Friday from her new "friend" house wanting to know why the debit card to our joint account was declined due to lack of funds.
She was also wondering why I wasn't at work and talking to a lawyer that day as well. Joking aside, pill addictions and addictions, in general, will screw up not only your life but everyone close to you. It isn't pleasant.
Evil-BAKED-Potato
3. Natural to cheat
I met a guy who told me, a complete stranger he just met two minutes ago: "My wife is always so jealous. I'm Italian, we're flirty, it's in our nature! I told her so many times, it's not a big deal, why doesn't she also cheat on me?".
I first thought he was only talking about hugging/flirting, but like half an hour later he went to some random girl, while his wife was in the same room!!! - and asked her "Hey, I'm Luca, do you want to sleep with me?”
For clarity, this was an actual Italian in Italy, not an Italian American. His wife is Asian. He thought I could relate to him because my wife is Asian as well. I couldn't.
bschug
4. She claimed she was going to tell me
“I was going to tell you eventually, but I wanted to make sure that we had a genuine connection.” I was given this line and shortly after, we went off the deep end for a while. She became a heavy alcoholic.
But here’s how I found them. She implied that in order to make sure she and her new boyfriend had a 'real' connection she went over to his place several times. With her even taking him back to her place, which is where I found them.
SonOfWoe
5. I’m not her soulmate
“I performed a soul retrieval on him, and discovered that he was my soulmate, for thousands of past lives and thousands of lives into the future.”
I was told this out of the blue, after a 21-year relationship, and 18 years of marriage with two small children. I'm with another woman now and very happy. I definitely learned about my needs and values through this process, and found someone who fits me quite well.
karl722
6. Two lame excuses
I am happily married now to a wonderful guy, but prior to I was cheated on twice.
My high school boyfriend's excuse was "I used to be fat and insecure and it felt good knowing another woman besides you wanted me and I didn't want to disappoint her."
But the excuse I was given was a crazier one.
My college boyfriend's excuse was "You were too busy taking your mom to chemo treatments every Friday, so I felt ignored."
OpenRepair4390
7. Comparison with a dog
"You know how I love my dog? I want to pet it every day. But when I see another dog, I want to pet it too. It doesn't mean I don't love my dog." I just stared at her and said "Did you seriously just compare me to your dog?" She also said, "But it was just part of a pagan ritual! That doesn't count!"
We actually sat down to discuss what "counts" as cheating after that. She asked if she managed to project her consciousness into a cat - would it be cheating to be with another cat? Because she was always curious about what it feels like for cats.
I told her that if she managed to project her consciousness into a cat she should come to me so I could pet her before she went off to sleep around with other cats.
Needless to say, that relationship didn't last. I thought "What am I doing with this crazy girl, I want to get married and have kids - and that's never going to happen with her". I met my wife a few months later, and we have 2 kids together.
inderu
8. Gaslighting excuse
I just got out of an 8-month relationship that ruined my life completely. The straw that broke the camel's back was her excuse for cheating on me, she admitted to me that she slept with her ex during the time I was visiting my parents in another state.
Her excuse for cheating was “I wanted to see if you loved me enough to stay after I did it”, so that’s probably the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard for cheating.
BMHPunk
9. Bisexual partner
I dated a girl who told me that she was straight. After our relationship, she told me she had known that she was bi for years. That would be fine I'm bi too, it would be fine if we hadn't agreed that it was alright for her to kiss girls the whole time we were together.
So naturally I was hurt and asked, "Why didn't you just tell me?" She said, "I didn't wanna lose the option to kiss my friends." I was really surprised. Like what then, don’t be in a relationship!
aboycalleddove
10. I was told I deserved better
“You’re too good for me. You deserve better than me” is what I was told when my ex-girlfriend confessed to cheating on me.
To clarify, she cheated because of this mindset, apparently.
Not cheat first then feel guilty. I was too good for her, therefore, she had to cheat on me so that I would hate her. It makes absolutely no sense and it is the worst excuse I have personally experienced.
LostDragon7
11. Permission to cheat
She thought she had my permission. Fallout 4 release week, I told her I was going to be staying home that weekend to play as much as I could. She asked what she was supposed to do and I told her to go out with her best friend (girl) and have fun. She slept with her best friend's roommate.
The cherry on top was she admitted she was sleeping around with this guy for a while so every time she did spend the night over there she was cheating on me. Her best friend's boyfriend was the one who told me about it, how she always talked shit about me to my gf and basically set them up and encouraged the cheating. He and I are still friends to this day.
Fafurion
12. Attention-seeker
I got cheated on once, that I know of. She said it was because I was ignoring her for work and she needed attention. That just broke me.
I wasn't working so much because I'm some super ambitious career-driven guy. I was working that much to give her the lifestyle she wanted. I know I could have given more attention to her when I was tired and exhausted after a long day at the office. But heck, man. I was doing it for her.
StubbornKindOfFellow
13. Long distance relationship
"I didn't know we were still dating ..." This was only 12 hours earlier she had told me that she loved being with me. But here’s a little backstory.
She's a year older than me and graduated high school and started college.
I tried to end things before she went off, because of the distance and she refused saying that we would have a long-distance relationship.
A week later, on my freaking birthday, she calls me to tell me that she hooked up with someone and had a new boyfriend and was baffled as to why I was upset.
AtomicBlastCandy
14. Disney movie kind of relationship
One night I gave her my debit card to go to the bar to get drinks with her friend. She called me while extremely drunk and asked me to come get her which of course I did. She puked all over my new car and couldn't even walk.
I carried her nearly a half mile from the complete back of her college parking lot into her dorm room and held her hair while she puked again. Then as I put her on her bed she tells me "I don't need a babysitter" and I'm like "Oh babe clearly you do".
She fell asleep and later fell off her platform dorm bed straight onto the floor and didn't even notice. I put her back in bed and the rest of the night I just had that horrible feeling that she definitely cheated on me.
At about 4 a.m. her Snapchat went off from some dude she's never mentioned so I checked her phone. This dude sends a shirtless picture himself with the caption "I had a great time tonight and you're a great kisser." Later my girlfriend woke up and I just stared at her and asked "So, how was your night?". She goes "Ohhhhhh".
Later on, she says "We just don't have that Disney movie magic."
foggyhead93
15. No excuse
"I don't know why" is worse than even the stupidest reason I’ve ever read. At least they have something. Our conversation was a very absurd one
"What do you mean I don't know?"
"I don't know!!'
"How could you not know! Why aren't you telling me"
"Because I don't know"
"Is it because you are unhappy with me? Am I not giving you something?"
"No, I am so happy with you. I love you so much. You did nothing wrong"
"That's clearly not true if you feel the need to cheat"
"No, it isn't about you" Cue sobbing now "I couldn't live if I lost you"
"Then WHY?"
"I DON'T KNOW "
"I think you do but you just don't want to tell me"
"I think there might be something wrong with me. I'm sick"
"Then get help, don't cheat on me"
"I know. I know. I am so sorry. I wasn't thinking."
I walk away in disgust while he cries.
CatastrophicHeadache
16. I was blamed
My mum had passed away after a traumatic illness. And soon after my beloved cat passed away in a horrific manner. A few months after that he concluded (after having been together for a year prior to all of this) that I was no fun and I had misled him about who I truly was.
When I pointed out it could be the grief making me less fun than I used to be and it would pass, he acted like his mind was blown.
It hadn't crossed his mind I may be sad. Because I hadn't missed work from either job and was trying to be strong for my family.
Heck, my grief may have passed even faster with support of which he basically gave none. Anyway, his words: "I pushed him into her arms". I have impeccable taste in men.
Equerry64
17. Boring
A friend of mine got cheated on. His girlfriend slept with a guy while on vacation. She didn’t tell him, obviously. He found out because one of her friends felt bad and told him. When he confronted her about it, she dumped him via Facebook. She didn’t even have the guts to do it in person or with a phone call, claiming he was “boring”.
When I was discussing this with my other friends, I really couldn’t figure out why someone doesn’t just end the relationship they’re not happy about. Another friend said that it probably wasn’t exciting enough for her. For your information, he’s now happily married (to someone else, obviously) and with a kid, but the cheating hurt him badly
ChronoLegion2
18. She was caught
I came home early from work to my last ex-girlfriend in bed with another guy. The only excuse she could give was “I wasn’t trying to hurt you I didn’t think you would find out.”
I came home early because I spilt a frier on my leg and she ignored my call for a ride because she was busy sleeping around. I’m still mad when I think about it.
mulletmilkman
19. My friend’s terrible experience
This one happened to a good friend of mine, I was with him just after this little gem was dropped on him, took him some time to recover. The girl had the audacity to say "I actually wasn't cheating on you, I was dating (other guy) first, so I was actually cheating on him."
Madam President of the Society of Pedantics didn't see an issue with what she said. My friend is now doing well, he stopped dating for a while to focus on himself and improving his own situation. It's a little over a year after the breakup with his ex and he's doing well in life.
Bjork-BjorkII
20. Ashamed of my cousin
My cousin said to his wife, “Our marriage just hasn’t been the same the past 5-6 months” During those 5-6 months his wife’s grandfather (practically her father figure) died and my cousin entered the police academy.
This meant that he was either working or in class, most of the time leaving her to care for their 2-year-old alone while also working full time (or cheating with the woman in his academy class who was also married).
Things haven’t been the same. I’ve never been more ashamed of a family member. The way he’s handled it since she found out about it has just dug the knife in deeper.
HalloweenieCatShark
21. Every girl cheated
I think the first one was "I'm sorry." This was my first girlfriend from high school, a 6 month relationship. The second girl I dated for a year and a half said "You should understand. I mean look at you then look at me."
This was just before I dropped out of high school and she was the hot popular girl in senior year while I was just some short but skilled basketball player.
The third girl cheated on me while I was at my best friend’s funeral, several hundred miles away. Her dad (who we lived with) caught her and called me. I never heard what she had to say about it since I blocked her on everything and whatever voicemail she left was erased immediately.
This one hurt the most cause her dad was amazing and was the closest thing to a father I ever had. We were in a relationship for 2 years.
The 4th girl, a couple of years after that was probably actually psychotic cause when I caught her cheating, she never said anything but got dressed and left then she had me jumped a couple of days later and laughed as it happened.
For the 5th girl, I found out I was her backup while her main man was working out of state and saw her on the weekends. He did not know about me. I really thought I found the one with this one I was a couple of thousands from buying a house and engagement ring....and then she saved me a lot of money after 3 years of being together.
So yeah every girl I've ever dated has cheated on me. I quit dating after the last one it was the worst. It's been about 5 years or so. I'm lonely but I'd rather that than be cheated on again.
The last one was the worst pain I'd ever felt and genuinely thought about eating a bullet for a while. But screw her and every single one of those girls. They won't get the satisfaction of breaking me.
Degg20
22. Not the first time
I caught my ex-husband cheating shortly after we got married. We obviously divorced after I caught him instead of working through it, but it wasn’t the first time.
We didn’t resolve it because he apparently had been cheating for years and now that we were married, he "felt bad" about it and was hoping I'd get upset enough to leave. I didn't feel bad about it before, however. It has always blew my mind.
islandchica56
23. Not a suspected father
My girlfriend told me it was because I was away for so long. I had been gone for 10 days, and she slept with two different guys. She didn’t even stop there.
Before I could get home to talk to her and actually end it (she wanted us to stay together she said) she jumped a third guy. She wound up pregnant shortly after, but she still doesn't know who the father is 16-17 years later. Kinda says a lot that I wasn't even part of the suspected fathers.
PheIix
24. Teenagers breakup
It happened to me personally. "You don’t give me attention anymore." Like after school I always visited you and asked about you.
I would ask things like "How was your day?" "Do you need help with homework/a test?" Also, every time she wanted to go to bed to hook up (we were both 16 at the time) I wasn't complaining even tho I wasn't in a big mood but to her "I ain’t paying attention"
chris9830
25. Too stable relationship
My ex first tried to say she was sexually assaulted but the second I questioned her glaring holes on that she came clean. I was unprepared for her reason.
She said stuff was going too well. We were in too stable of a relationship and things were going too smoothly. We lived together and were looking at houses to rent and such. So basically I found the female equal to Ricky Bobby’s dad.
Arntor1184
26. Strong foundation
After I caught my boyfriend cheating, the excuse he gave me was “I knew you’d forgive me because we have a strong enough foundation to overcome anything”. But there’s a spoiler alert.
I did not forgive him, just handed him back the ring and said get the heck off. He moved to Los Angeles and is now a magician.
nachoaveragebrownie
27. Wanting to be polygamous
My 28-year-old boyfriend said, "I never wanted to be monogamous, I'm not monogamous, but you tricked me into loving you." I was only 17.
My ex, who never once said anything about not being monogamous in the entire year and a half leading up to that point. I didn't know I was so devilish. It was weird that he wanted a poly for him but not for me relationship
idfk0987654321
28. Cheating with a grad student
My cheating boyfriend said to me, “You don't need me and she does.” I was working full-time remotely with an infant and a 5-year-old. I was managing but definitely could have used some help. She was a 22-year-old grad student who was in his class.
He also said, “You never want to do anything fun or hang out with my friends.” Mid-pandemic, I did not want to go hang out with his early 20s coworkers (we were late 30s) and just drink all night because getting drunk for no reason is not one of my hobbies and we had a babysitter for that night.
The kids are going to get me up at 7 a.m. expecting breakfast and I do not want to face that hungover.
JamieC1610
29. Blame for losing a baby
My ex-husband cheated on me after a pregnancy loss. I went to my 12-week check up and during the ultrasound, we found out the baby’s heart had stopped beating and my precious little baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks gestation.
I had to have an emergent dilation and curettage (D&C). I found out less than a month later my husband was having an affair. Why?… He said I wasn’t as much fun to be around after losing the baby because I was sad.
Objective_Bobcat_720
30. With a mutual friend
So my fiancé tried to talk a mutual friend into hooking up with him behind my back because I had a baby 2 years ago and my hormones have been out of whack ever since.
In addition, there is literal PTSD that comes with a difficult birth, the physical pain that doesn't seem to disappear even years later, the lack of personal time when your house is catered to a baby, etc, all leading to me not really wanting to be intimate 90% of the time.
Teacupcosplay
31. Attention seeker
"You weren't giving me attention anymore." "You didn't seem to love me anymore. I didn't think you'd mind." Those were the lame excuses I was given.
I stopped giving attention because he already cheated on me multiple times while I was 22 and pregnant with your child, only told me when I was eight months in.
We also just moved into a new house so I felt trapped, and he was a physically and mentally abusive person besides. I wonder why I didn't want to f*** you, Kyle. Great plan to get back in my good graces.
Senevir
32. Dodged a bullet
My ex and I had a fight and she stormed off, not returning my phone calls for three days. When we made back up, I was making us dinner and her phone had an ok Cupid message alert. Her reasoning?
“When we split my cousin convinced me to download it and go on a few dates!”
She would continue to make in-person advances after we broke up. Showing up to my job and such.
Weird shit. It never bothered me, just made me feel better because she was so crazy. Each event made me realize the bullet I dodged.
On one occasion she asked me if I wanted to attend some music event with her and I said no because I didn’t want to and I had DND that day. “You still play that??”
Uh yeah, it’s fun to play you.
kingghidorak
33. Backup plan
"It was in case you died." Said my ex 2 years after my cancer diagnosis, and found out that he's already moved on and gotten a second girlfriend. I stupidly let him manipulate me into polyamory.
If it wasn't for how emotionally, physically, and psychologically exhausting chemotherapy had made me, I would've ended it right there. And I should have!
justdrinkingsometea
34. Excuse or lying
My ex told me she was being sexually harassed by the guy at work and the text messages and advances were unwelcome, she was just too afraid to stir the pot at work.
I don’t know if that counts as an ‘excuse’ so much as outright lying.
I actually got so far as knocking on his door to have words with him. Fortunately, I’m a pretty reasonable person and it seemed suspicious anyhow, but really?
Rebresker
35. Too much intimacy
“I don’t have to try as hard for her as I do you. You want too much intimacy, I love you, but I can’t keep up and you’re not for me.”
My comeback: “Well most men dream of a woman who has a fire about her like I do. I guess you’re not man enough to handle me, and you let your fingers burn. That’s fine, I don’t need you.”
He broke up and I was free! Found my husband a year later.
NicoleStanhope
36. Claiming to be molested
My girlfriend told me she was molested
She was not. It was consensual. She was at a shore house a few guys were renting and got banged in the bathroom by one of the guys renting. She got caught by her long-time boyfriend’s brother… who was one of the other 4 guys renting.
It was bad. She went really far with it. Told her boyfriend. Her dad. They were pressuring her to press charges and she finally broke down and told the truth.
RoyalCloak57
37. Battle of infidelity and cancer
He never admitted to the double life, even though the evidence was overwhelming-- but I'll never forget the way he responded to the doctor (and to me) when I had a recurrence of cancer. We're sitting in her office-- she's called me in. Naturally, I invited him (my husband) for support.
After she communicates the details, he stands up in her office, throws his hands up, looks pissed and disgusted (like it's a betrayal, an ambush) and says...."Seriously? Again, I've got to put up with your shit. Great! Really great! Then he says he's gotta make a call, and abruptly leaves the room.
This was a new doctor for me, as we had just relocated to Georgia (in the US) for his job. She looked horrified. I was used to it. I knew that public acts of extreme selfishness directed at me.....the kind of antisocial behaviour that generally clears rooms, was one of his 'tells.'
The excuse to "misbehave" without revealing himself, was wrapped up in wildly effusive statements of his victimization (at my hands) and life's conspiratorial unfairness to him.
There were literally 12 years of my life where infidelity and cancer were in constant playback mode.
So I was betrayed because I was sick..... which he believed was my betrayal of him, i.e., getting cancer (again) and dampening his planned trajectory in life.
BretonVikander
38. Best friends
“You are so crazy and insecure, she’s my best friend I’m allowed to buy her lingerie, have sleepovers, send her lewd pictures of you I took without your consent, take her on date-like activities, cuddle, and yell at her fiancé when she’s “crying” about how he doesn’t treat her as well as I do.”
“It makes me comfortable that you have an issue with me doing these things, but you can’t leave because no one wants someone as crazy as you but me.” To be fair I didn’t know he was sleeping around with those girls at the time.
notacovid
39. Planning a wedding
"I was stressed and when you kept bringing up wanting to plan for the wedding, that was what tipped me over the edge."
He wanted the date to be a year from when we got engaged. We had done zero planning when he started cheating (6 months after we were engaged, so yeah planning came up in conversation). Oh, and I didn't find out until after we were married and I was pregnant. Fml.
And we had just bought our dream home. When it rains it pours right? He had allegedly stopped some time before I found out, but I'm convinced it was because he ran out of willing participants.
I kicked him out the day I found out and immediately started looking for a lawyer. Luckily, I have a very strong support system in my family and friends. I'm better off now.
BurtasaurusRex
40. Not knowing why
Hearing the reason is "I don't know why" combined with "I'm sorry for hurting you, but I'm not sorry for having the affair." We are both 40 and I found out a few months ago, that she slept with a coworker of hers twice, he no longer works at her company.
Wife says she has no complaints about us, about me. She says I satisfy her in bed, great husband/dad, and never did her wrong in any way. She had plenty of adventures before we got married and we kept it spicy in the bedroom.
I’ve known her for almost 20 years, and married 13 of those 20. and she slept with a pudgy little boy half her age. She says she doesn't know why she went and did it...sad thing is, I know how to read her and I believe her.
She became emotionally disconnected from everything when our 6-year-old passed away last year, about 6-7 months before her affair.
ProfessionalTrex
41. The audacity
She said she slept with someone else because she needed to increase her self-esteem. She did this when I had to go pay my respects to my late grandparents. In her words, "It was an opportunity and I took advantage of it."
Then she had the audacity to say I was being selfish for thinking about how much the act hurt me instead of thinking about how it should have benefited her. She never apologized for it and was so sure she didn't do anything wrong. She should get a PhD in neuroscience.
Blamin_her
42. Bi women
I had a relationship that I felt ruined my life too. We were together 3 years. My dad passed away in October so I flew home to clean out his house and all that stuff. Then 6 months later my grandpa passed so I had to fly home for his funeral.
When I got back, I was taking out the trash and found a condom wrapper at the bottom of the bag (we're both girls).
She unapologetically told me she was hooking up with random Tinder bros at our house both times I was gone because she was too turned on to wait and guys are easy.
Yeah, that was the end of that. That whole shitshow ended a few years ago and I'm so much happier and thankful she cheated because I might still be with that hoebag if she never did.
CallMeSnuffaluffagus
43. The kissing excuse
One of my sisters sort of used this excuse. Her boyfriend at the time was staying with us for a month. They were long-distance and he came out to visit. He and I were hanging out in the living room and he suddenly got up and walked out of the house.
I learned later that he went to her soccer practice and decked a guy she had been texting about how much she loved kissing him.
The boyfriend at the time found out cause while we were hanging out in the living room earlier, he was borrowing her laptop and all the texts were pinging in.
I asked her later why she did it, she said she just loves kissing her friends and saw no problem with it. I couldn’t convince her how wrong she was.
Captainx23
44. Not A Romantic Person
I’m not a very romantic person, my fiancé who I have been with for 6 years knows this and we have worked out a way where we both are satisfied. When I first caught them cheating they turned it on me with the “you don’t give me enough attention”.
It’s a lame excuse and doesn’t justify betraying my confidence and the almost decade of my life I’ve devoted to them. Cheaters are scum and deserve what comes to them.
Front_Foundation_179
45. Loyalty test
I was staying over at my sister's place once and her boyfriend was there. I was sleeping on the couch and the dude tried to get up on me.
I woke up and started losing my cool on him and he's trying to convince me to sleep with him, so I started pretty much shrieking at him loud enough to wake the dead.
My sister comes out of course and asks what's going on, so I tell her. First, his dumbass tries to tell her I'm lying (she's my sister you idiot, please), then he tells her that he was "testing the loyalty between sisters". Like it was some kind of noble thing where he wanted to show us how loyal we were. Apparently, I passed.
He did not. He ended up dumped on the street.
Srianen