96. I Got A Little Something Back

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A few years back, I had my identity stolen right in the middle of a mental health crisis. I was already stressed out and overwhelmed by life, and the identity theft just made everything worse. Suddenly random purchases like iPhones and laptops were showing up on my bills, purchases I had never made.
The identity thief opened credit cards with my identity, bank accounts, you name it. The authorities were, of course, no help, and I felt very alone in this twisted game of whack-a-mole, where every time I thought I had fixed one problem, another popped up.
I even had a rental car company come after me, as the thief had rented a car in my name and then stolen it. Of course, this was a blow to my credit as well, and resolving the whole thing was enormously stressful.
Eventually, I had frozen my accounts, contested the charges, canceled the credit cards, and followed all of the appropriate steps. All that was left to do was close the fraudulent bank account.
When I went to do so, however, I was met with a snag. I explained the situation to the bank (which was not a bank I personally used) and requested they close the account. They told me that they could not just delete the account, however, as there was money still in it (approximately $800), which would need to be withdrawn.
I explained that that wasn’t technically my money, and they replied that the account could not be closed with the money remaining inside. An account that “I” opened, in which “I,” Corvidias, put “my” money. So guess who’s $800 richer? After all the identity thief took from me, it seemed like appropriate recompense (and only fair) to take a little something back.