33. He’ll Never Bother Us Again
I had a landlord that I didn’t much care for. Where our previous landlord had been super laid-back and friendly, this new guy was condescending and SOOOO OCD and made a habit of just walking into our apartment uninvited (which is illegal) to yell at us to clean up.
No matter how clean we kept the place. So one night, I called an escort service to his apartment. I asked for a brunette but got two homely-looking blondes instead.
Even better! I was watching from the roof of the adjacent building with a bottle of cheap bourbon. They knocked on the door, and my landlord’s fiance answered, and an argument broke out, and it was glorious.