25. The Non-Cart-Returner
So I’m leaving the grocery store recently and loading the items I purchased into my vehicle when I notice an entitled woman (EW) nearby. She’s on the phone and has her empty shopping cart in front of her.
I finish loading my groceries and put my cart in the designated place like a decent person, get in my vehicle and begin to move forward when I see EW lightly shove her shopping cart in my general direction. It stops in front of my vehicle, blocking my path, but EW is already marching back toward her own vehicle, completely oblivious.
I’m angry but try to keep my cool.
Me: Excuse me, could you please move your cart out of my way?
EW: (on phone) Hold on, someone is bothering me. (To me) Move it yourself, I’m busy! (goes back to talking on the phone)
Me: (internally) Oh, hell no! I put my vehicle into park, get out, and do as she suggested — I move her cart.
Right behind the vehicle, she’s getting into. But I’m not done because I’m fuming now. I take the entire line, train, whatever you call it, of about 15 more carts that were in the little cart docking area nearby and slowly shove it over behind her vehicle.
I separate a few from the line and begin putting them around her vehicle in a sort of semi-circle before she notices and starts getting out.
EW: (on phone and agitated) I’ll have to call you back. (to me) What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Me: I moved your cart like you wanted me to. (shrugs shoulders) Turns out I had so much fun, I guess I just got excited and moved a few more.
EW: Move those out of my way this instant! I’m in a hurry!
Me: Move them yourself, I’m busy!
EW: (unintelligible scream)
She tries to shove one of the carts my way, but I drive away from that section of the parking lot too quickly. I can see her literally shaking her fist at me when I look in the rearview mirror. I smile and drive on.