94. No Thanks…
I had a 60-year-old female patient show up for a same-day appointment to establish care from out of state. She had no medical records, and she denied having any history of taking medications.
She never smoked, drank, or anything. Midway through the exam, she started telling me that she was seeing “evil lines” all over her house at all hours of the day.
She said that she was unable to cross the lines and was therefore unable to access certain parts of her house like her bathroom. She claimed to hear voices coming through the walls and feel shadows at night.
She also thought her neighbors were hexing her all the time. At some point, she started talking about the occult and freemasons ruling the world.
Then, suddenly, she stopped mid-sentence, stared at me without blinking, and asked if I could perform an exorcism. Err… Sorry. I missed that section in medical school.