Something Wicked this Way Comes
From his hiding spot he sat in anticipation, his plans had been set in motion and all he had to do now was wait.
He had already attempted to compromise with those around him – but when negotiations fail, a person has to escalate. The next unlucky person to use his lawn as a shortcut was going to regret it.
The American Dream
Thomas Lyons had achieved that which so many can only dream of – he had purchased his first home, a beautiful 3-bedroom home.
It gave his family the space that they deserved – there was room enough for his children to play as they should, and it allowed for his wife to pursue her hobby of gardening. But, for Thomas, the sparkling crown jewel of his new home was its vibrant front lawn. If only he knew what trouble would be coming his way.
Trespassers and Tramplers
It wasn’t long before Thomas’s troubles began – he noticed that far, far, too many people felt they had the right to cut across his yard.
He could have come to terms with it if it wasn’t happening so often – but unfortunately for Thomas – things couldn’t be that easy for him.
Too Many Past the Limit
The sheer amount of people that had made his lawn their personal shortcut seemed like too many to be true. He had to be sure of what his eyes were seeing, so he decided to put up a camera; in one day he recorded 30 pedestrians, 8 bikers, and two strollers.
What made their choice of route so unreasonable was the fact that there was a sidewalk bordering all public sides of his property. They did not have to treat his home this way.
Unnecessary Damage
The corner of the yard closest to the sidewalks had become completely bare of any grass due to the high volume of corner-cutters.
Seeing the damage done, Thomas tried the diplomatic route – requesting that passing walkers limit themselves to the sidewalk. His polite request was answered by people were only willing to ignore him; Thomas’s yard continued to bear the weight of their inconsiderate actions.
No Easy Solution
Helpful acquaintances asked Thomas why he hadn’t just put up a fence to solve his problem. What they didn’t know was that it wasn’t that easy – erecting a fence around his yard would cost Thomas in time, paperwork, labour, and money. It was too expensive.
With fencing off the table as a solution, Thomas had to think of another way to convince people not to cut across the yard. His time spent thinking was not made any easier by the fact that he had to watch people using his lawn as a sidewalk the entire time – he was astonished by how rude people had become. With enough time to ponder his problem, Thomas began to hatch his master plan.
An Easy Fix
Operation: Lawn Protection needed to satisfy both Thomas’s needs, and his Lawn’s needs. For the lawn, he only needed a sensor. For himself, he needed something much simpler.
Thomas’s only need was to rub it in the faces of those that kept ignoring him – he set up a camera to record the incoming show. Seated on his own front row seats, Thomas was ready to bask in the glory of his genius.
It Begins
Bright and early, the first corner cutter arrived. A jogger had come to trespass just as so many others had before her.
It was time for Thomas to bear the fruits of his labour – predictably, the jogger moved off the sidewalk and onto the lawn. This time, Thomas didn’t have to watch in anger – the jogger stepped into the sensor’s range, oblivious to what was coming – anyone around would have only heard their yells of surprise.
A Wail and a Waterfall
As the jogger crossed into the sensor’s view, a blaring alarm began to ring. That would have been uncomfortable enough… without the sprinklers coming to life.
The sprinklers had been set to their strongest setting, overwhelming and soaking trespassers instantly. The jogger may have been the first to get a cold shower in the yard, but they wouldn’t be the last – the next group to cut across were a group of middle school girls. A brief screech of noise and a spray of freezing water was enough to send them running and screaming. Things couldn’t be working out any better for Thomas… or could they?
The Cherry on Top
The final, delicious, step to Thomas’s plan was all thanks to his camera. Thomas recorded every surprised shriek and subsequent soak his solution provided and posted them to his TikTok account for all the world to see.
However, this victory wasn’t as sweet as it could have been. His post had attracted some criticism from those that saw it – and Thomas was not going to stand for it.
Mixed Opinions
Many people praised him for his trap – they were trespassing after all.
But the scolding comments left him mind-boggled. “It’s just grass,” someone said. “It’s just water,” another shot back. “It’s just a couple of people walking. Take a chill pill!” another wrote. The next response was clearly someone who had been through a similar situation…
“No Big Deal”
“It’s not one person, it’s MANY (every day) and it costs money to fix a lawn, especially if you live in an area that MAKES you have a certain look to your yard and home.”
“When someone is racing to the bus, every second counts. My job is more important than your stupid lawn.” Thomas turned red in the face, but the netizens came to his defense…
No Excuse
“Then leave 5 minutes earlier. There’s no excuse. Would you let someone run across your backyard when there literally a full sidewalk only 5 feet away?? No. Stop being such an idiot.”
Just then, Thomas heard another shriek. This one came from someone on a motorbike. Seriously, a motorbike?!
Legal Implications
There was one comment, however, that seemed to shut up the naysayers. “When someone gets hurt on your property, they can sue you. Plain and simple. He has every right to keep people off his land.”
Thomas had not only come up with the perfect solution, but the clips were getting hundreds of thousands of views.
Not Stopping
Over the weeks, the traffic slowly dissipated. He put up some stakes with twine to try and make another barrier. But once in a while, some moron would come by and get a cold wake-up call.
Thomas would keep filming and uploading these videos. They were just too hilarious to keep to himself. But Thomas isn’t the only person to be inconvenienced by people near his yard…
Scott Hunter
He could have just let what had happened go, but Scott Hunter wasn’t that kind of man. In fact, his colleagues at the insurance firm had a nickname for him: “The Pitbull.” Once Scott got his teeth into something, he’d never let go.
So when he saw his eight-year-old princess in tears on her own birthday, he knew he had to do everything in his power to make things right… and God help the people who had crossed him.
Birthday Celebration
All Scott and his wife had wanted to do was throw their young daughter a small party. When Nina decorated their yard cheerfully with balloons and inflated the bounce house, she never anticipated that there would be a problem.
The day in question turned out to be the worst of young Evie’s life. Her parents had worked hard to make sure she had a memorable birthday, but Evie would remember it for all the wrong reasons.
Nasty Neighbors
Scott and Nina had been living in their home in the suburbs for four years. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do about the nasty elderly couple living next door.
They had squabbles about the “noise” their daughter made when she played with friends in the yard, the smoke that wafted over their fence from their BBQ, and any other petty reason the neighbors could find to complain about. For months, Scott and Nina had tried to keep the peace. But the neighbors were about to cross a line.
The Big Day
The day of Evie’s eighth birthday started on the right note. The weather was perfect, the little girl was excited about her party, and Scott was in good spirits. He mowed the lawn, inflated the kiddy pool, and set up the bounce house.
The kids and their parents began to show up. Scott fired up the BBQ while Nina set out the snacks. Nobody noticed two pairs of angry eyes peering over the back fence.
Rude Interruption
“Hey, Scott!” the miserable old man bellowed, “We are trying to enjoy our porch, so tell your sprogs to shut up!”
“They are children, Bernard, it’s a party,” Scott said, clenching his jaw and turning around. He continued to work the grill as the children splashed happily in the pool, but he should have known that his rude neighbor wouldn’t leave it at that.
The Best Gift
Evie’s eyes sparkled when she opened her gifts. For some reason, her favorite present was the large inflatable ball that her grandma had bought her. All the kids clamored to play with it, bouncing it to each other and kicking it against the fence.
When someone accidentally kicked it too high and it bounced into the neighbor’s yard, nobody could have anticipated what would happen next.
Unexpected
Bernard’s wife went over and scooped it up. She held the ball in her hands for a few seconds while the kids waited… Everyone expected her to simply toss it back. “Please throw it over,” Evie pleaded.
Instead, she handed it to her husband. He made sure everyone was looking while he fetched a screwdriver from the garden shed.
Unbelievable Behavior
Bernard kept unbroken eye contact with Scott. Then, a satisfied expression came over his face as he slowly and deliberately stabbed the ball.
Then, the malicious man clumsily squashed it up with his hands and throttled all the air out of it. Scott was incredulous. Evie screeched. The old man seemed to get so much pleasure out of causing the little girl’s tears, and he wasn’t finished yet.
Tears
Evie cried and cried, but eventually, her mom managed to placate her. Nina just wanted the party to continue as if nothing had happened, but Scott was seeing red.
As the day drew on, he grew angrier and angrier. If the neighbors enjoyed their porch so much, he’d make sure they never enjoyed it again.
A Plan
Scott had never been so angry in his life. He wasn’t about to just let it go. They had ruined his little girl’s birthday, now they would have to live with the consequences. His plan was simple.
He could see the neighbors’ porch from his yard. Every time the miserable old couple came outside, he was ready.
An Annoyance
Scott thought carefully about all the ways he could make his insufferable neighbors’ lives a living hell. He thought about everything from poisoning their lawn to other, more harmful measures.
But he wasn’t a fool -- he knew that he couldn’t do anything drastic or illegal, so he decided to be an annoyance instead. He’d teach them to make his daughter cry.
Payback
Every time Scott saw the neighbors sitting on their porch, he’d go to his garage and gleefully fire up his air compressor. Then, he’d make a racket with his gas leaf blower in the yard. At first, the neighbors would complain, but they couldn’t compete with the noise.
Every day, Scott would watch the porch and wait for them. It worked every single time.
Obsessed
Scott was obsessed with getting payback, but he could bide his time. He’d do it until the couple died or moved out if he had to. He would be a constant reminder of their unacceptable behavior, and he’d never let it go.
They soon realize that they had made a huge mistake when they crossed him.
Persistence
Scott continued with his noisy regime for years. True to his word, he never let Bernard and his wife enjoy their backyard ever again.
He didn’t even pretend that he was doing anything other than making as much noise as he could every time they set foot outside. And, every time, he’d drive those miserable neighbors right back inside