1. He Went Out With a Bang
I know someone who got fired on the first day of work and he hasn’t worked since then. In his last job, he was driving cars from where they were dropped off to where they were sold at auction. He was driving this nice BMW sitting at a stop sign at the base of a hill.
A semi truck carrying logs loses its brakes and slams him at 50+ mph.
He then proceeds to t-bone another car while still getting pushed by the semi. With him t-boning the other guy knocked him out from in front of the semi and into another car which had seen what was happening and slid to a stop.
The semi went over the hill and landed in the creek at the base.
He got cut out of the car and then airlifted out (along with the driver of the semi and the passenger of the car he t-boned) and when he called his boss (after emergency surgery), the boss fired him.
He sued the heck out of the company for wrongful termination and he's been living off the money for 3 years.
crushcastles123
2. Hot Pocket
I was an overnight manager at a retail store and the store manager had told me we had a new hire coming in. No big deal, he got a CD to listen to that gives him directions on learning the different functions of the register.
I still had my regular overnight cashier and things should have gone pretty simply. That's not what happened.
This kid comes in (let's call him Dave) acting fairly full of himself but I thought, "Eh he's young, who cares?" and stick him on the register with the training CD. I go off to do my overnight reports (mostly cash and credit reconciliation and time punches).
Anyway, I came back after an hour or two and Dave looks like he is just messing around and doing jack all so I said fine, he can do it the hard way, and stick him in the break room with about 10 20-page modules for him to read and answer questions.
Side note, when I arrived that evening, the day crew had ordered pizzas for lunch and although there was none left, there were boxes all in the break room. It didn't matter to me too much because I bought hot pockets for lunch and stuck them in the fridge.
So after an hour of counting money, etc. I went in to check on Dave. That is when I smelled the distinct smell of pizza. I asked Dave, what did you eat?
"Nothing."
"That's strange, it smells like pizza."
"Oh I ate some of the leftover pizza."
"There was no leftover pizza."
"Yes there was."
".....Did you eat my hot pockets?"
"No."
I look in the trash and lo and behold there is the empty box.
"OK, I'm done with you, leave."
This is when Dave throws a fit and yells that he is not leaving and I can't make him, this is bull, etc. So I walked to the front to get my cashier who was a pretty big guy.
We came back to the break room and Dave had thrown all of the papers and pizza boxes around. He proceeded to storm out of the building swearing and saying that we're out to get him.
End of the story right? No. Dave comes back around 3am telling me how much he needs this job, how he has no money, and on and on. I told him I would talk to the store manager. He was asked not to come back.
Side note, that CD he was listening to? He stole one of ours off the rack and was listening to that instead of the instructional CD. Guy was full of class.
hehehehehehehe45
3. Giving Excuses
I hired a desktop support guy through an agency thinking I would try him out for a few weeks and offer him a full-time job if it works out. He is there to deal with user issues, so his hours are supposed to be 9-5 (when the office is full).
Monday, his first day, he doesn't show up until 4:30 in the afternoon. He has an elaborate story about driving back from a weekend in the country with his girlfriend, car breaking down, etc, etc, etc.
I naively assume one horrible commute could happen to anyone and laugh it off with him thinking what an awkward way that would be to start a new job.
Tuesday he doesn't show up until after lunchtime. Again there's some elaborate story. At this point, I'm starting to catch on that all is not right with this employee.
Wednesday, I get a call from his agency around 11:30 in the morning saying that he is on his way in to work but that he is currently on board a train in a *non-adjacent state*. I tell the recruiter to call him back and tell him to not bother coming in today, or ever.
At the end of the pay period I get a bill from the agency asking for 8 hours on Monday and Tuesday. It turns out he had stayed until late at night to bill us for a full day. Remember, his job is to be there to deal with desktop issues, not play video games and hang out with the janitors all night.
As in all cases where I have had to fire someone, I'm at least partially responsible for creating the situation in which the employee failed. In this case, I should have vetted him more closely with his references and absolutely not left him in the building unsupervised.
He could have robbed us blind and I'm lucky he was just monumentally lazy, not criminal.
FinanceITguy
4. Red Flags
This girl interviewed horribly but was friends with the assistant store manager so they pushed it through. (Red Flag 1) She was living at the transition center for people who just got out of Juvi because she had turned 18. (Red Flag 2) She was nervous about posting background information and had asked what constituted a felony. (Red Flag 3) She get through, started that Saturday night.
Well she came into work as I was packing up to leave but I had to come back and do the cash office for the manager. She looked higher than a kite but most of the place smoked anyways. I come back that night and the place is buzzing, people look excited but nervous all at the same time.
I got to the office and the store manager (who was not working that night) was having a sit down with the assistant manager. Chewing him up and down, OPs manager sitting in on it. Holy crap what went down?!
Turns out about 3/4 the way through her shift, her bf shows up at the new job. Takes her to the break room, kinda locks the door (or so they thought) and starts banging the crap out of the new girl... On the breakroom table. Another new employee walks in on it happening and tells the manager ASAP.
She is fired on the spot, starts all kinds of commotion and the police are called in. She had a history with the police but wasn't arrested.
This began investigations about where and how we were hiring new employees and led to the firing of that assistant manager when several of his recommendations turned out to be on probation or recent felony parolees.
One other piece of justice was that the assistant manager was given a bottle of cleaner and made to clean that table top a number of times... I laughed.
Pringles-can-me
5. Meet Dumbo
My dad hires this one guy to take our mobile tire press to customers and press tires. So the new guy shows up, we'll call him Dumbo, and is introduced to the other employees. The boss, aka Dad, gives him the press truck keys and tells him they are going to a customer and will be shown how to press tires.
As they are driving down the road the boss notices Dumbo is squinting at a stop sign.
Dumbo: "That's a stop sign right?"
Boss: "...Yea, that is a stop sign. Dumbo, why the heck are you squinting?"
Dumbo: "Sometimes its hard for me to see things without my glasses."
Boss: "Are you serious? Stop the truck. I am driving back."
*Drive back to shop*
Dumbo: "So what are we doing now?"
Boss: "We are doing nothing. I am going to look through applications to look for a replacement for one of my employees that could even last an hour!"
Dumbo: *Stares*
Boss: "You're fired Dumbo. You can leave now"
vltscrpn
6. He Thought It was a Perk of the Job
At orientation, they told the twelve of us that we were the best and the brightest out of the 900 or so interviews they'd conducted. We got our access badges and our corporate Amex cards.
One of the "best and the brightest" went to a high-end men's clothing store on his lunch hour and purchased four thousand dollars worth of suits, ties, and shoes.
He came back from lunch and bragged of his exploits. As was expected, he got fired on the spot. He thought his Amex card was a job perk. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, he asked, "can I at least keep the clothes?"
MasterDonBob
7. Congratulations, You Tested Positive
I had just arrived at Great Lakes for Boot Camp (This was in 1991) and we are standing in line for our first introduction to what is known in the military as "Operation Golden Flow" or, to regular folks, our first urinalysis test.
As I'm standing in a very long line and tip-tapping around because I have to pee so much, a guy standing behind me taps me on the shoulder and asks what we are waiting for. I look at him and tell him "A Urinalysis".
He looks at me and asks me what a urinalysis is, so I tell him "to see who has taken any substances recently".
He nods, shrugs, and says, "well, I guess I shouldn't have smoked that crack last night". He was serious.
Now, he officially wasn't fired that first day, but about 2 weeks later when his results came back, he was. So yes, you can say that he was fired that first day but had to suffer for a few weeks until officially let go.
nimbusdimus
8. He Only Lasted 2 Hours
I fired someone about 2 hours into the first day. We had a monster pile of branches to send through the wood chipper and two of my better guys were working on it. I hire a new guy to help out.
After I spend all this time training him how not to get killed by the wood chipper, I send him out with my two guys. I run out a bit later to check on him and I see experienced guys getting it done. They are busting their butts and putting in work chipping branches.
Then I turn to check out the new guy.
The new guy, on the other hand, picks up a twig and tosses it in the chipper, grabs a drink of water, grabs another twig, another drink, goes and has a smoke, another few twigs etc while they still had a mountain of branches to go through. I had to let him go.
grows grass
9. A Tale of Many Woes
My company made the mistake of hiring temps for this big job and the whole thing was a disaster. We didn't have a lot of space, so temps had to double up in cubicles. I did feel very bad for them, but some of their actions were hilarious /terrible.
Our laptops require a password to log in before doing anything. It's a gray screen with prompts for the username and password. Pretty simple stuff.
One guy had his username and password written on a post-it note. He then spent two hours trying to figure out how to log in. He didn't realize he had to press enter. Two hours!
Another guy was chugging along at his task. His cube mate was sneezing or talking or something. His reaction? Slap her. He got escorted out of the building.
The next day, he shows up to work again like nothing happened. He was escorted back out and told to please not return. Most of the temps were nice and did just fine. Some made you wonder if they would ever get a full-time gig.
DavidBenAkiva
10. Nobody is Buying That
When I worked in student tech support while in school, my boss told the story of one of the only times she'd had to fire someone.
Within just a couple of days of training ending, it came out he was installing some sort of remote desktop software on every computer he touched, meaning he could access all of them from his PC.
These were students' private computers, not lab machines. When he was asked the reason for doing so, he said, "just to make it easier when they needed help again.” But no one bought that. He was immediately fired and faced disciplinary action by the school.
hylian122
11. I Swear That I’m Not A Criminal
I got fired after my first week because of charges on my "record" that never occurred. I had to go to the police and have another background check run before contacting HR. Luckily, I was later "'re-hired".
It was honestly a tough week getting all that straight and now I wonder how many jobs I didn't get because of this mix-up. I have a generic name and share part of a social security number with a person that has the same name as well.
He was the worst kind of person. He liked to beat his wife up.
When HR noticed they screwed up, they accepted it and apologized profusely. I feel like the HR lady thought she might lose her job. Pretty odd situation
PM_ME_YOUR_SIDEBOOB
12. You Don't Fit In Here
I was hired as a bartender for an upcoming restaurant. Flash forward two months and they begin doing the whole corporate training thing. Boring as crap, but I'm there, I sit through the five hours of them forcing us to read line by line like we were elementary school kids.
Eventually we broke off into groups, however, I was put with the servers (note: I had specifically told them I was only interested in a bartending position and was hired as such). I asked why, but rolled with the punches. Cracked a few jokes, tried to start making friends, the whole nine yards. I did notice, however, that all the bartenders were short, very pretty girls.
During our break, I heard them talking. Very few of them had ever been behind the bar; they were mostly shot girls and strippers (not that there's anything wrong with that, but this is supposed to be a high-end restaurant in a casino/hotel.)
Most of my work experience is in 4 star restaurants, fine dining, and casinos. Red flags were raised, but I continued to roll.
At the end of the presentation, I went to ask the GM about my work uniform (they had a strict 'no visible tattoo' policy and the sleeves were too short to cover mine. He dodged the question, asking me to wait for the rest of the people (in line behind me) to talk to him before we could speak.
Then the room cleared out. Just me, him and the kitchen manager. I was confused.
At this point, I had shaved my beard for these jerks (I had been there once before to do paperwork) and was worried they were going to come down on me for my ink (which was comparatively less than many of the other employees and only on my upper biceps and would have been solved by a bigger shirt).
Then there we were, "I'm sorry, but you don't fit the image and presentation we want to project. We won't be needing you. You can turn in your uniform in two weeks when you pick up your check."
I honestly don't know why. I participated in their activities, I wasn't disrespectful or rude and I already had a better knowledge of the menu than most of the kitchen staff did (honestly, how do you not know what brioche and pico de gallo are?)
My guess is because I'm a bit on the heavy side, maybe? But my bar skills are pretty sharp (I'm now employed at a retro speakeasy renowned for our craft cocktails) and I've got experience to burn.
Felt good to laugh in their faces and tell them to have fun when they need a keg changed, though.
Carnegiefellon
13. He Didn’t Know What He Was Doing
An ex-coworker found a job working with a high-end car dealership (I think it was a BMW). On his first day, a customer comes in to get tire refills. So they get him to drive the car around back to get the tires done.
A tire refill has been common recently when purchasing a vehicle from a dealership. I was even recommended nitrogen top-ups when purchasing my most recent vehicle because they're free and are better for your tires.
So this was just supposed to be a routine job, nothing major.
What the new guy failed to mention was that he didn't know how a standard (stick shift) worked. He starts the car and proceeds to drive this car through the front wall of the dealership (all glass wall). It was a monumental screw-up.
Lonesoldier21
14. I'm Unavailable
I got a job as a custom picture framer at a corporate chain. This would be my second of two jobs – the other working as a barista / bartender at a cafe / music venue. At the music venue, we hosted indie concerts every Monday night. Since I made ridiculous amounts of tips working the Monday night shift, I was loathe to give it up.
My first day on the job at the framing store (i.e. Sunday), I told my new manager that I was unavailable Tuesday mornings. I would not be getting home from my other job until 3am, and there would be no way I could make a 10am shift the next morning.
He said "That's cool. Don't worry about it." I was of course off that Monday, since there was a schedule conflict.
So imagine my surprise when I got fired the following Wednesday for a "no call / no show". Apparently, he put me on the schedule for Tuesday morning shift, which I of course thought I was not expected to work.
In other words, I got fired because my manager was an idiot, who forgot to abide by my stated availability.
yummyyummybrains
15. Dress How You Want To Be Addressed, Or Not
The dude on his trial period comes in and seems friendly and good with people. Some new kid fresh out of college, most of us guessed.
Bossman comes in late, dressed in a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals because he's the boss and doesn't care about the dress code.
I saw New Kid walk over to talk with him, and I assumed he was doing his due greetings, and didn't think more of it. I just noticed I didn’t see him again after lunch.
Word is that he rubbed the boss the wrong way with a joke about how he should dress better in the office because we never saw the kid again after that. Usually, people get released because they're not as good as they advertised, but this was the first I saw a guy get dropped before his first day was even over.
saberishungry
16. Who Let The Dogs Out?
I managed a pet store for a few years in college. I was showing a new hire around the reptile room and explaining their duties (literally just getting crickets for people and selling products). I make it clear that I don't want them poking around in the cages yet and I'd be assisting them if somebody wants to see or purchase an animal.
Finally, I point out a specific cage and say, "don't open that for any reason," explaining that the animal was expensive, it would escape and they're nearly impossible to catch. They nodded like they were listening.
A couple of hours later I noticed the $250 day gecko zipping up a wall. We never caught it, though it did make occasional appearances for several months.
The store owner gave me a lot of say in who was hired. I tried to exercise that freedom and they immediately made a fool out of me. I was quite upset but it's pretty funny looking back.
Fookyu315
17. She Knew I Would Call
They fired themselves after the first day and in the funniest manner too.
I was hiring my replacement at a training facility for a heavy equipment manufacturer. We asked for someone with computer skills, highly organized, and that could work by themselves. The contract company sent a 'materials handler' who had only ever worked in warehouses.
I spent the entire day walking her through the systems we used, the digitized training manual, the UPS/FedEx shipping systems, everything. At the end of the day, she said something about how she felt uncomfortable about working solo, so I offered to come in on Saturday and spend that entire day walking through it, too.
Saturday morning comes, 8 am rolls by, and still no employee. Finally, at about 8:45 am, I called their house to see what time they'd be in. The outgoing message on the answering machine was "Hi! This is <employee> and I'm not at home right now.
Leave a message. If this is <my name>, I won't be coming in today or taking that job. It was just too much. I'm so sorry."
She changed the outgoing message on her machine, knowing I'd call it, but also knowing that EVERYONE who called would also get that message.
buzzdome
18. Push Up Guy
I had one guy I fired — not the first day, but probably 3 days in. We still fondly refer to him as Push-Up Guy.
I hired a lot of kids right out of school for temp jobs. Many of them really didn't have a clue how to get along in a corporate office, so I spent a lot of time coaching them about making eye contact, speaking up, using office equipment, etc.
However, there were some people where I just threw in the towel and Push-Up Guy was one of them. He was an extremely tall, gangly kid. He struggled with all of the basics and really couldn't focus. He continuously fidgeted during training and just seemed really checked out.
One day I came out of my office and I saw a pair of feet sticking out the opening of his cube. Turn the corner and he's on the floor, doing push-ups. When I told him that it really wasn't appropriate to do push-ups in the office, particularly with your feet sticking out in the corridor, he replied, "I'm sorry, but the work is so boring I can't stay awake any other way."
Hopefully he found a more physically-oriented job!
Sorrykids
19. He Was Too Cold
A friend and I both got seasonal work at a well known electronics store around the Christmas period. Starting in November, he was in stores sporting goods in and suchlike, I was admin on the front desk processing sales. First day there were no problems, he was my lift home so I met him at the entrance and asked "How was your day". His response was "I got fired" and he had no idea why.
From what he told me though the stores people tended to mess around in the back when there was no stock to process, playing football, sitting around playing cards and general "lad activities' '. I overheard some of the store's people saying that he was ignoring them, wouldn't interact with them and they accused him of "not being a team player".
I can understand their view kind of, we were both introverted geeks, bullied at school and social situations were a little harder for us.
Obviously I'll never get an unbiased version of the story but by the sounds of it they just didn't like my friend because he didn't want to be "one of the lads" and they complained to management about him.
Mr.codesmith
20. He Set The Record
Some new kid at work set the record for the fastest time to get fired.
I worked at a Country Club that was fairly prestigious where I live. One of the members was Bill Cowher, former coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers and now a studio analyst for CBS. During the summers, Cowher lived in my town and played golf at the club fairly frequently.
Well, the new kid started on a bright Tuesday morning. We got into work at 6:00, and Cowher rolled in at 8:30 to play a round of golf (he usually played by himself, an even-keeled guy). This guy sees him and asks "Hey, is that Cowher?"
We all told him yes, and he raises his voice (just enough to where Cowher could hear him) and goes into a tirade about how much the Steelers suck and how the Ravens (their rivals) are so much better, even bringing up Roethlesberger's “transgressions”.
Anyway, the kid also lays into a bunch of personal insults on Cowher. We watched Cowher go into the pro shop of the club. Two minutes later, one of the top guys in the club walks down and tells the new guy to get out.
Aces1818
21. Did You Read The Job Description?
I work with infants at a daycare and I had a new hire that I was training. About an hour into training, all hell broke loose.
One of my 4-month-olds had been crying all day and I could tell my trainee was getting fed up with it even though she'd only been in my room for like half an hour around the infant. I was busy changing diapers and making different bottles and didn't notice that I could no longer hear that baby screaming.
I finally realized it when I grabbed his bottle out of the bottle warmer and couldn't find him.
I started freaking out and asked the trainee where he was. Her response was so unbelievable, I had to pinch myself.
Turns out, she had just opened the back door, put the baby on the ground outside, and left him out there to get rid of the crying. She begged me not to tell, but you don't just put a baby outside.
Right then, one of my directors came by to see how everything was going and I told her what happened. The trainee was fired before she had even officially started working.
omglookawhale
22. He Never Made It
I worked for a tree service for a few years so I saw a lot of people come and go that couldn't handle it. New guys were always showing up but this 18-year-old was special. He had never had a job before, had been told he is special all his life and he felt respect was not earned. This kid never made it to the trucks.
We parked our work trucks close to the areas we worked in various parking lots so our cars were usually parked close to ensure a spot for the work truck that afternoon.
New kid parks right in the middle trying to show he is important. Before he got out, the boss set his coffee cup on the kid's back bumper and started the morning safety meeting. The kid walks around his truck and screams, "Who the heck put their cup on my truck?" and knocks it to the ground... The end.
Super-midget
23. When Being Nice Backfires
The new guy at work accidentally clogs up the entire email system at work and is fired in one hour.
The company I worked for is a pretty big global financial firm. No transactions were done via email, of course, but a lot of information sharing (reporting, publishing) was on a pretty set schedule depending on the global markets. Pretty time-sensitive.
I was at work early one morning, around 7:30 trying to get a head start, and I saw the new guy, entry-level, super nice dude. He had just started a week or two prior, and he was also in the office early, trying to make a good impression.
Anyway, he thought it would be a good idea to start up a fantasy football league in the office, so he sent out an email about fantasy football to everyone. And I mean, everyone. The company is a huge, multinational corporation. He sent the email to every single employee, manager, director, VP, COO, etc.
But more than that, he sent it to every single distribution list, so people were getting double, triple, and quadruple emails. He effectively shut down the entire email system with a failed attempt to increase office morale.
The big boss comes in at 8, closes the door to his office, and sits at the desk. A minute later, I hear "What the heck?!" He calls the noob to his office. By 8:30, the new guy is walking out the door escorted by security.
The worst part, the fantasy football league required a monetary buy-in, so in addition to clogging up the email system, the new guy was sort of "soliciting gambling," which is a no-no, and he used "company resources" to do it, which is a double no-no.
R2Teep2
24. Stop Overreacting!!!
Hired a security guard for a customer company of ours. Seemed like a legit nice dude, English, 6 foot, rugby player, experience of working in security, black belt judo, no criminal record etc. Seemed a bit shy, but whatever.
2 hours into his first shift, he has shattered a customer's jaw. Apparently **she** tried to tickle him as a joke, while waiting in line, and he screamed "Do not touch the security staff" and just sucker punched her, then just stood there.
I get the phone call from the customer company furious that we didn't spot this guy was obviously severely mentally ill. How could we, we never check for that unless symptoms present themselves during the interview!!
Customer company demanded their (rather large) fee back for all the clients we vetted for them and threatened legal action. In the end, we told them to "have a nice day" and dumped them too. It was our first and last job with that customer.
So a security guard got fired for violence and we fired our customer for trying to sue us over something we had no control over!.
Airwalkerdnbmusic
25. I Have a BA…In Making Up Things
We hired someone who supposedly had a BA in computer science with 2 years experience in relevant technical positions for an IT role. I didn't interview him. He lasted about 3 hours on the job, but only because the first 2 were paperwork.
We very quickly discovered that his computer abilities were non-existent, and started asking questions until he broke down, and confessed that he lied on his resume because he wanted to make more money. His previous job was drywall installation.
We gave him a list of software he needed, available via a URL. He didn't know what to do with a URL or what a URL was and then it quickly unraveled.
Paladenconnery
26. He Didn’t Know He Was Filmed
I work for a company that takes care of the HR needs of other small companies in my area. New hires often come in to fill out paperwork.
We had this guy who came in, filled out his name and social security number, gave it to us, then proceeded to steal the front desk guy's wallet and keys. Right in front of the very visible security camera.
We called the police to report the theft. Turns out the police knew the guy, as he was a repeat offender. He lived right around the corner.
l2np
27. You're Under Arrest
I didn't fire this guy personally but I did one better, I arrested him.
I'm a police officer in the UK, I was forced to help at a recruitment event in our headquarters where applicants turned up, listened to a talk, and did a few exams. Almost all wore suits or shirts and ties, except one... One was wearing a black polo shirt, black combat trousers, and tactical boots — a weird and a bad impression but whatever.
Whilst they did the exam I went into the yard for a smoke, all the applicants had to park in a certain area, which was just by the smoking shelter. One car stood out, it looked just like our unmarked cars, exactly like our unmarked.
I was a little confused so I had a closer look at it. It had radiator lights and on the back seat was a police issue stab vest.
I thought that it must be one of our cars parked in the wrong place, because it happens. After the exam they left, I watched them leave and lo and behold the polo shirt man gets in the "unmarked car". Immediately I jump in a real unmarked and take off after him.
I found him 2 streets away putting blue lights on and driving through a red light. I overtook him, put my lights on, and blocked him. He gets out waving a fake warrant card telling me he was en route to an emergency.
I arrested him on the spot for impersonating a police officer. He was also suspected of doing the same in about 3 other forces.
icarus638
28. Is It Too Much To Ask You To Try?
Our new hire didn’t even bother to try at all. The job hours were from 8 am to 4:30 pm, Monday through Friday. He showed up about 10 minutes late on the first day. Normally 10 minutes late isn't that big a deal to me, but it was his first day, and I had pulled 3 other staff members into our 8 am meeting so we could discuss the training schedule with our new hire.
So we are already in our meeting when the new guy walks in. He doesn't apologize for being late — he just sits down as I'm going over the training schedule for the week. After a few minutes of listening to us discuss what he's going to be doing for the rest of this week, he raises his hand and the next thing that comes out of his mouth leaves the room in complete silence.
He says, "Can we reschedule the afternoon sessions planned for today and tomorrow? I have to leave at 11 today and 12:30 tomorrow." This was the first time I was hearing about these plans.
I asked the 3 staff supervisors to allow me to speak with the new guy alone for a few minutes. They leave the room, so I start talking to the guy about how he can't just change his schedule without running it by management first.
As I'm talking to this guy, he gets a text. He looks down at his phone and puts his hand up, as if he were telling me, "I'll be with you right after I finish reading this text".
As soon as he finished reading the text and looked back at me, I said, "this isn't going to work. Please make sure you take everything you brought with you and do not return. I'll have HR email you your separation papers."
He seemed pretty shocked and asked what he did wrong so I told him. He tried to explain himself, but I told him that it's best if he finds somewhere else to work.
Atomicspunks
29. Unbothered
We hired a new night audit worker and fired her soon after. Her first night alone after training she sat in the lobby and smoked weed all night, ignoring guests and saying she didn't work there (with her name tag on the front of her shirt), and watched murder mysteries on the giant TV in the lobby. Then it got worse.
15 minutes before her shift was over she just left the building without waiting for her replacement to show up. So there was no one in the building with over 150 guests upstairs.
I saw this all on camera the next day and she showed up that night for her next shift. I stopped her at the door and told her to go home and not come back.
She was perfectly fine during training but she did mention that she was a stay-at-home mom her entire adult life and when her husband lost his cushy job she had to work. I brushed it off as whatever since we all have to work at some point but I didn't know her "no cares given" attitude was that bad.
hranhunts
30. Playing With Fire
New firefighter in my city graduated and his career ended before it even started. He had just finished 5 months of the academy, and graduated the night before, his whole family was there, including the mayor and half the city council.
The fire chief pins his badge and then he is assigned to a station. The rookie is told to report to the police department the next morning for tactical driver training (obstacle course and skid pad).
The dude shows up the next morning at the police department, an hour late, still drunk from all the celebrating from the night before. Not only fired but arrested for DUI. That's the end of his firefighting career.
Sycocys
31. Wearing Clothes Is Not The Same As Selling Them
I worked at a popular teen/college kid clothing store. I wasn't the manager, but I trained new hires. This one girl shopped at the store a lot and we were excited to hire her. She seemed like a good fit for the job, or so we thought.
It was one infringement over the other until we had to let her go. She came to work late, was caught trying on clothes instead of greeting customers, and laughed when anyone asked for a size larger than a medium.
Her family showed up at the end of her shift and tried to buy $2k-$3k worth of clothes with her employee discount. Corporate policy sucks, so they got a good portion of it. Her mom tried to bring it all back years later (completely worn/destroyed) and threw a fit saying she should get the full price because the girl had died.
Guess who we could all see sitting in her mom's car?
Lhugs
32. There’s Always That One Person
I worked as a manager in an upscale seafood restaurant a few years ago and I thought I had seen it all.
We had recently hired a few more wait staff (4 staff), to cope with the customer demand as summer was starting.
Excited to train new staff for the first time, three of them turned up on time and got started with their buddy staff. Guy number 4 turned up over an hour late, stunk of alcohol and BO, and had dark yellow pit stains on his "apparently new" white uniform shirt.
I fired him within 10 minutes. He then proceeded to knock over chairs and pull tablecloths off tables so security was called.
The first person I ever fired. I felt bad and then went out for a smoke before getting back to work.
angyimus
33. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
I manage a coffee shop lunch place. A young girl came in fresh out of culinary school and had previous coffee shop experience. What could go wrong, right?
On the first day, I shadowed the other employees just to get a hang of the POS system and the general flow of the store. Nope, she couldn’t handle it. Customers overwhelmed her, and she liked to hide in the back leaning on the ice machine. Fine. Whatever.
She said she loved baking earlier on, so I sent her to the kitchen to make some cookies. I'm super chill, I didn't even care what kind, as long as they were awesome and delicious, she had creative control.
She comes out some time later admitting she doesn't know how to make cookies and needs help. Now I'm getting bloody frustrated.
As we moved on into the lunch rush a wave of customers flooded the front of the house and I was needed. I had 40 liters of soup in the back needing a little more roux and asked her to thicken it a tad before serving.
Soups and sauces being addressed in the first week of the culinary school she attended (I attended the same program, btw). Surely she could handle that. Nope.
She found a box of cornstarch and dumped the whole box in. Dry. Soup destroyed. Her shift ended shortly afterward. Turns out I forgot to get her contact information at the beginning of the shift so I had to message her on Facebook telling her not to bother ever returning.
Classy, I know, but she was just one huge mess I couldn't even begin to fix.
xand3rs
34. A Bottled Job
My record was less than 30 minutes. I was with this recruiting agency when I was younger, they sent you to jobs for short contracts, a few days or a week each time.
They contacted me for a permanent position at a water bottling facility. When I arrived some manager showed me around and sent me inside the factory to meet the 2 employees I was working with.
Both guys showed me the job which is basically at the end of the production line. The large bottles get a plastic handle attached to the top by a machine and then they get a few in a box.
My job was to unjam the machine that clipped the plastic handles when it does and make sure the boxes are made correctly, simple stuff. I work with the guys for around 15-20 mins and another manager comes in, takes one of the 2 guys to talk to him, then I see them arguing.
Manager comes back to me and tells me that they needed someone who already had experience in a bottling factory.
For 9$ an hour (minimum was 8$ and change back then). Still got paid 4 hours for going there but that was a good waste of time.
baron-vendredi.
35. He Left With a Bounce
I was a mechanic at a high-end bike shop, with our most expensive bikes retailing at $5-6000, and a steady stream of doctors and lawyers bringing in their expensive triathlon bikes for service.
A few months before I got hired, there had been a new guy. He got hired because the shop was pressed for mechanics and he claimed to have bike skills.
Well, he did...kind of. He had been a bike assembler at Walmart, using air-torque tools to assemble $150 bikes as fast as humanly possible.
His first day of work, he shows up with said air tools, which he apparently stole from Walmart (this came out later, when the police showed up, days after he was fired).
The manager was in the bathroom and so got there about 30 seconds too late to see the new dude destroy a $1000 carbon-fiber hub by torquing it with his air drive (which he hooked up to the compressor we used to fill tires).
To quote my manager: "I fired that jerk so hard he bounced."
vsceralreslism
36. They Didn’t Know
I was a corporate field manager for a big box camping store, and my job was to travel to new locations and help open new stores. This involved a lot of hiring, building, and stocking in a short amount of time.
We're not in uniform when we're in the stocking phase, so it's common that no one knows who's who. There were a couple of girls that banded together and seemed to be splitting the work of one person while still managing to do it half as fast.
I walked over and tried to give them friendly guidance and they didn't seem to respond positively. I came back an hour later and they didn't progress very far. When I told them that they needed to step up their game, one of them became aggressive and responded, "Or what!? Who the heck do you think you are, talking to me like that? You ain't my boss!"
She got right in my face like a WorldStar video and acted like she was going to fight me. They had forgotten that I was one of the interviewers (although it was someone else who chose to hire them). I said, "Well, actually, I am..." They looked mortified as I asked them to follow me.
I took them into the office with my VP, and together we wished them well. They begged to keep their jobs and I had to explain that laziness is bad enough, but insubordination will not be tolerated. At which point they told me to screw myself and left.
Raven_Strange
37. If It Isn’t Broke…
The fastest turnaround I've ever seen was this guy we hired in support at a tech company. Everyone knew that the structure of our network wasn't ideal, but it worked and we didn't have the resources to fix it. We showed the guy the network diagram and told him this.
He immediately declared it unacceptable and marched down to the Network Manager's office and started listing off all the reasons why the network was "wrong".
Yeah... you don't lecture the King Neckbeard on the first day, and sure as heck not when you're the lowest-level peon in the company. He was politely told to "get the fudge out" less than 4 hours into his first day.
fubes2000
38. Quick Drop
I worked as a hiring associate at a small trucking company for a bit, friend of mine was in a scenario where he *needed* a job so I hooked him up on my name.
He wasn't interviewed, he was hired just because I gave the recommendation. The dude shows up, shakes hands with the manager, walks into his office and the manager walks out and tells me to fire him.
Why, you ask? Well my friend came into the office, shook the man's hand and was supposed to watch those work training videos. The manager gave him his own office to do this in. Manager went to start the video, turned around and this clown knucklehead had his feet up on the man's desk and was playing on his phone.
I kid you not, he was in and out in like 6 minutes, max.
thatswhatshesaidxx
39. Eat The Rich, Not Their Kids
I'm a teacher. I was on a committee to hire a new 5th-grade teacher.
I was showing her the ropes and monitoring her in-class behavior. I watched this bonehead tell a student "I don't like you very much. Figure it out yourself."
The next thing I showed her was the door.
In the exit interview (had walked to the door) I demanded an explanation and she said of the student she 'didn't like'. She said, "he was wearing designer jeans. You know his life is all peaches and cream, taking from us little guys." I say "Did he make an inappropriate comment to you about money?" She says "No. But I know their kind." The 30-year-old woman was a classist against a 10-year-old.
ligamentary
40. Treeplanting
I was there when someone got fired on his first day at a tree planting gig.
Before I explain why, let me tell you what tree planting is like for those who don't know. You live in a tent for a couple months, wake up in the morning in the middle of the forest, pack your lunch, fill up your water (if the pipes didn't freeze overnight) and head to the cutblock.
We were working in northern Ontario where they did selective cut logging. This means that they didn't clear cut but only took down the best and healthiest trees. A year or two after logging they send the Tree Planters in to fill the empty spaces.
You open up a box, grab a couple hundred little saplings about 6 inches tall and put them in these big bags that sit on your hips. You then walk through the forest planting trees wherever there is enough space for them to go. Each tree pays around 10 cents.
On your first day you will likely plant a couple hundred, but after a month or so you'll be up to a couple thousand. It's very discouraging to spend a day working hard and only make 20 bucks.
So here we are on our first day, not having any idea what tree planting is like, not making any money, and working quite hard. There are many ways to plant a tree wrong, too close to other trees, too deep, too shallow, too crooked, wrong soil, air pockets below ground, roots not pointing down... Etc.
To make sure you're planting them correctly, your crew boss comes around and checks your quality. The client (logging companies) pays the company (our boss) differently depending on how well the trees are planted, so quality is important. Back to our star employee...
It's his first day and he's making about as much as a kid in a third world country's sweatshop and working almost as hard. So he comes up with the bright idea that since he's digging a hole for each tree, he might as well stick an extra one down at the bottom of the hole and get paid twice the money for each tree.
Within a couple hours, and pretty much immediately after checking his trees he was caught, and fired. In the 6 years since then I've seen many different ways of cheating, but none quite as stupid as this.
Wrobot-rock
41. The Exception
He didn't actually get fired but.... I am the GM at a popular chain restaurant. They were getting ready to open another store in our city so all of the managers that had been hired were sent to my store to do their training. Everyone was great except one guy. We will call him James .
All of this happened on his first day, as hard as that may be to believe.
James took it upon himself to institute a "no smoking" policy. Even going as far as to attempt to confiscate the cigarettes of employees he caught going to smoke. When I confronted him about this he said "I hate the smell".
Bear in mind this was my store. He had absolutely no authority whatsoever. He was there to learn. That's it.
He was running expo (The person on the other side of the food window. Organizing food onto trays and making sure they are run to the correct table) and was completely unable to keep up despite it not being that busy.
I comped food for nearly half the restaurant that night because they either got the wrong food all together, or waited 45 min for their food because it had to be re-made because he sent their food to the wrong table. (I was explicitly told by my regional manager NOT to intervene. At this point he was supposed to be ready and able to "stand on his own feet")
During his 10 hour shift that day at least two hours of it was spent pooping in the guests bathroom.
About halfway through the rush and after numerous complaints James began yelling at my cooks. He told them they were worthless. That they haven't been giving him the right food and that they should all be fired, of course he refused to take responsibility for any of it
At the point where he began yelling at my cooks my KM stepped in risking a write up to help our cooks out of the weeds. James stood behind my KM on the expo line. Attempting to "help" by telling him he is doing things wrong. And getting angry at servers for "getting in his way"
My KM finally sent James off the line saying something along the lines of "get the heck away from me idiot!" So James went outside and sat in the break area for an hour or so before I found him and asked him what he was doing.
He proceeded to explain that the entire kitchen staff was conspiring to make him look bad. That they've "had it out for him" since the moment he got there. I sent him back inside to attempt to expo during a lull in service to hopefully help him get his bearings. And had my KM come meet with me in my office.
My KM explained what all went down after he stepped in and what James had done to get himself thrown out of the kitchen. A story which I relayed to my boss who told me to send him home.
I went to find him to let him know he could go and he was nowhere to be found. He had just disappeared. Told my wheel guy to hop on expo and dipped the heck out. No one ever heard from the guy again.
Some other things the guy did that I only learned about later from my employees
When he wasn't pooping, he was picking at his bum. Constantly just going at it outside his pants. In full view of everyone
He would not wash his hands. He would put on gloves and take them off, pick his bum, scratch his face, pick at his teeth. Then he would just throw on some new gloves and call it good. When my lead cook mentioned it to him he said "that's what gloves are for"
Apparently he spent more time looking at the servers’ butts than doing his job. Which is probably why he was so slow and confused trying to expo.
He openly propositioned at least one 17 year old hostess (45 ish year old guy) saying something along the lines of "What are you doing after work? I bet boys your age don't party like I do" and then gave her what she described as an "I'm going to attack you".
The dude stunk. Like nothing I've ever smelled before. Like BO mixed with poop mixed with mildew/ mold. It was disgusting.
Finally he apparently attempted to convince one of my cooks who is heavily tattooed to go put a jacket on saying "cover that stuff up. No one wants to see your tattoos"
The fact that this man even made it through the hiring process is beyond me. In nearly 15 years in this industry I have never met someone so incompetent. And that my friends is why I hire my management from within.
Once-a-chef
42. The Grinch that Stole Christmas
Christmas time at a garden center, lots of seasonal hires for the tree lot and cashiers. One of the new guys was complaining about how cold his hands were, which is a crappy aspect of that job, no lie.
He got the bright idea to put his cotton and vinyl-coated sap-covered gloves in the breakroom microwave to heat them up. You know, the one we put our food in. Well he left them too long and they caught on fire.
The resulting smell was bad, but what got him fired was pulling out the flaming gloves, running past the metal break room sink equipped with water taps, and throwing them into a trashcan out the back door. Said trashcan caught fire. Said trashcan was also right next to the plastic greenhouse wall.
He took out a section of the greenhouse wall in below-freezing temperatures so we had to move tons of stuff and get someone to go get sheeting so we could staple it up until we could get it fixed.
During a busy as heck Saturday they had to pull a couple of us year-rounders off the areas we were overseeing to do this.
Mistakes happen, but missing the safe alternative, *not making sure the fire was out*, causing that much damage, and tying up experienced employees was just too much.
Plus if he could cause that much trouble with a pair of gloves we sure didn't want him anywhere near the chainsaws.
zargurnsflattire
43. Loss Prevention
I once had someone get "fired" before they even started as a full time employee. They had been a temp and we were going to hire a full time actual employee.
The day before they were to come in for their first day as an employee of the company and not the agency, we got a call from Loss Prevention saying they lied on their application. They had to fill out to be a company employee and would be called by HR and told not to come in and we would send them their belongings.
This person had a felony on their record but indicated they did not on their application. Loss Prevention said we would have possibly still hired the person depending on the felony if they had answered honestly, but were automatically "fired" since they lied.
JiffyAnchors
44. You Can Fake It, But Be Sure To Make It
I hired a guy as a mechanic. He owned several of the types of cars our shop specializes in and did well in the interview; however, he quickly proved to have hobbyist-level skills.
His productivity was slow! I always give new hires work on my own/family vehicles or a shop vehicle before allowing them to work on a customer's car. In this case, he was given a front brake job on my stepson's older model. This is a gravy job, 20-30 minutes on average.
This guy took almost 1-1/2 hours, lost a part, started cross-threading a bolt, overtightened a bolt till it broke not once but three times, and asked too many dumb questions.
Finally, it was finished. I took it on an extended road test including on the freeway. There was a scraping noise that wasn't going away. In fact, it started getting worse.
Got it back to the shop, lifted it on the hoist to inspect the brakes, and found both the bolts holding on one of the brake calipers were those. Like, “didn't even try to tighten them” loose, only 2 turns or so.
If one of them drops out, the caliper rotates out into the wheel and locks it up abruptly without warning, which on the freeway will make the car suddenly swerve to the right and tumble. My stepson was driving 450 miles back to college that night!
I called the guy over to see what happened, and he looked like a guilty dog. With as much composure as possible, I explained the above to him and told him I had to let him go. He understood and packed his tools and was gone.
The interesting thing was, a week or so later his sister (who had never been there before) dropped off her car [same brand of vehicle we specialize in] and hadn't heard the news about her brother's employment demise.
Without skipping a beat, she proceeded to leave her car anyway, dismissing the matter of her brother with, "Eh, not surprising…"
TurgidJusticeBoner
45. Guest sitting unattended to
I am a server/bartender and trained this lady in her 30's that definitely has some issues. The training lasted 6 days and it came down to her serving a manager which is the final test in this training process. Pass, and you are on your own, or fail and take it again the next day.
Somehow she miraculously passes on her first try which shocked me (because honestly she is an idiot) so she was on her own for her first shift tomorrow.
So her first day alone she struggled a bit, but is pretty typical for someone new. She survived and she was "cut" by the managers meaning to finish up her tables that she currently has and do her "outs" meaning cleaning, sweeping, rolling silverware, etc. before she leaves.
She knows this and I know she knows this because I trained her. She decides this is a good time to talk down the street to Wal-Mart to buy herself a RedBull (which we have in the restaurant so no need to walk there). But that wasn’t even the worst part.
SHE STILL HAD TABLES! No one knew where she was and her tables were asking for her. I was baffled. She returns eventually to finish her "outs" and she gets yelled at for being so stupid. My managers gave her a second shot because she was so new.
Instead they suspended her for a week or so. First day back again and she did it again! I have never met someone so stupid in my life. Yeah she was fired.
nick8191