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Jerks That Deserve To Be Taught A Lesson

8. Karen’s House

My pampered aunt Karen passed away recently. When her husband called to invite me to the funeral the following weekend, I declined. My older brother Mark also did. My mother’s older sister, Karen, often meddled in my mother’s and her children’s affairs.

She was never fond of my father and tried to convince my mother that she had made a mistake by marrying him. The name my parents chose for my older brother didn’t sit well with her either. The day before I was born, my great-grandmother passed away. When Karen learned they were naming me after her, she flipped out.

She said she planned to give that name to her future child and told my mother not to use it. Then she tried to convince her it was too traditional and that others would make fun of me. She chastised both my brother’s and my choice of friends. She even made a fuss when I began playing softball because “proper ladies” didn’t participate in sports, and if her daughter tried to, she would pull her off the team.

Spoiler alert: she never even had children. My parents drove to California the day after my 16th birthday on business. My father mentioned that when they returned, he would take me to the DMV to get my driver’s license. He never got the chance because they hit a patch of ice on the way to California.

They crashed and unfortunately didn’t make it. After that, I was in terrible condition; I didn’t even want to go to my high school graduation since my parents couldn’t be there. Everything was divided equally between my brother and me. My brother informed Tim, my parents’ production manager, that he would take over in a few weeks.

Tim was responsible for managing everything until that point, while he took over and learned the basics. Although it was guaranteed summer employment when I was growing up, I had no interest in the company other than that. I didn’t get involved and kept getting profit checks until I sold my share to Mark.

Mark instructed Tim to reassure the staff that their jobs were secure and that no significant changes would be made. Afterward, aunt Karen appeared and started organizing her things in my parents’ office one day. She said that Tim was fired after he confronted her about it and that she no longer needed his services.

After receiving a call from Tim, Mark sent the family lawyer, several police officers, and the required papers, then went down to have her removed.

As it was her sister’s property, she claimed, it was now hers, and she was the rightful owner. She’s had three husbands and no consistent employment since I’ve known her. Until she divorced them, she squeezed as much as she could from each one.

I walked for about 10 minutes the following morning to get to school, and as I was leaving, I noticed her car and a moving van parked outside. She claimed she was moving into “her” house, but that’s not the worst part. Then, in a sickly-sweet voice, she offered to let me stay there until I finished high school in exchange for a “fair” rent.

When I went inside and called my brother, he again came with the family lawyer, police, and all the necessary documentation and got her evicted. I missed what happened since I was at school. That evening, Mark handed me a business card (for a policeman, who I guess helped with all of this) and told me to phone that number right away if I ever saw aunt Karen on the property or close by.

I am aware that the movers charged her to load her belongings into the van, go across town, be turned away, and then return to her apartment, for which she had not yet given notice.

I used to bring our dog out in the yard to let her play in the fenced backyard while I was at school, but I became so afraid that I didn’t like letting her out there. I started to lock her in the garage and clean up after her messes when I got home in the evening.

Karen later moved to Colorado, where she eventually fell in love with and married the man who called to inform me that she had passed away and that he could not find any family members to attend the funeral.

I decided not to tell him about her and kindly apologized for my unavailability to attend. He said Mark the same thing. I don’t think she has any living relatives but me, Mark, and Mark’s little kid. Mark gave me his half of the house as part of the agreement where I sold him my share of the business, but I continued to sleep in my bedroom.

Even though I am 20 years old, own a big home, and have a lot of money in the bank, I still miss my parents and think about them often. I would do anything to have my parents back, even though I have all these luxuries.

Pexels / Paul Theodor Oja


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