“It Just Felt RIGHT And So I DID”: Self-Gaining Moments of Cheaters in Despair

Living in complete honesty and fairness is a rewarding feat, but with the challenges and pressure that we face everyday it can be somehow difficult to attain. As our morality is being tested when placed under pressure, an option to cheat is likely when we are given an opportunity. Check out these stories from the Reddit community and see if cheating is really the right thing to do under such circumstances. I wasn't happy. I was only in the relationship because of threats of self-harm and not having the understanding and maturity to deal with it. I cared enough to say, "okay okay we'll work it out" and go with whatever she wanted, but the relationship itself was hell. Then one day, I was asked over by another girl and thought to myself at that moment, "Screw it, I don't care, I've already tried to break up like half a dozen times" and went on over. She found out, of course, and cut herself badly enough to get hospitalized. I told a nurse about our relationship and how I've been trying to end it but caving to her threats of self-harm.

Her parents were there too, though they were of the opinion I should just stick with her to get her through life. Nurse told me that she was only going to end up killing herself and to leave her, and honestly that get-out-of-guilt-free-card was all I needed. She died a few years later. Suicide. I go back and forth on if the right thing to do was to stick with her and try to be her support. Don't set yourself on fire, and yet... I don’t know. Galatros

We have a pretty hardcore group of around 5 Monopoly Deal addicts in my office and give or take another 5 people who play casually. Initially, I'd occasionally cheat by holding more than the maximum 7 cards. I'd also sometimes slyly put money into the bank when it's not my turn. Why did I do it? The Fraud Triangle framework explains that people commit fraud due to the intersection of opportunity, pressure, and rationalization. I had the opportunity because my movements are deft and swift. I had the pressure to win because losing is soul-crushing and Harry looks like a smug twat whenever he wins.

I rationalized my actions as a necessary evil for my own mental health and departmental harmony. I quit cheating after I found a Monopoly Deal website online. Playing against Russians and bots and Russian bots has elevated me to a level where I am my department's GOAT Monopoly Deal player. I now look forward to the occasions where I lose the way a cricket legend approaches his second innings in a Test match. I still freaking hate it when Harry wins though. rudraxa

In my case, it was because I had two lovely girls of entirely different sorts coming at me at the same time, and just couldn't decide. I had two good things and couldn't let either go. Plus, I have this crippling inability to say "no" to a girl that's crying, causing me to fail to dump one of them. It took months until things finally came to a head, at which time I fully expected to lose them both, but one held in there. I went on with her for a few years, until it fell apart due to various sob story reasons.

After that, the other one tracked me down, we picked up like nothing had happened, and that went on for a few more years. Then I finally got my comeuppance when she cheated on me — almost as if she'd been playing the long game for that revenge. Oh, to top it off, they were both cheating on their current boyfriends to get to me when we first met — looking back, we were all pretty dysfunctional. blargoramma

I was in a long-distance relationship and my ex had been ignoring or cutting short calls for a few weeks. The last time we saw each other (about 6 weeks prior), my ex made comments that I didn't look as good since getting really into fitness/gym life and didn't feel like having a thing with me. I was out clubbing with my sports team and this guy (who had chatted me up a week before, but I blew him off) started dancing with me and told me how good I looked. My drunk self just thought about how unhappy I had been, and I decided I wanted to be single.

So, I went back to the guy’s place and slept with him. I did it purely because I wanted to, and it was nice that someone thought I was hot. I broke up with my ex the next day in case you were wondering. Turns out he had slept with 7+ other people and never told me. KatieWhoGrindsGrains

We took some kind of Latin test for some kind of competition in high school. This special test wasn't going to count toward our grade, (it was just for show-off points) so I didn't really care. I was failing the class at the time. I sat across from the smartest kid in class, and carefully copied 95% of his answers while making sure to mess up a few purposely. I figured, what the hell, I probably wouldn't get in trouble, and there wasn't really a vigilant proctor.

Lo and behold, I got the second highest grade in the class and blew away a lot of the competition outside the school. Our Magistra (means female Latin instructor; that's about the only damn word I remember learning in that class) went up to me and told me she knew I had it in me to do well and was proud of me. I dutifully continued to fail that class, much to her dismay. highoncraze

I was young, probably 17. I had just started dating this 22-year-old who had previously been my senior at high school. He was really nice to me, and truly loved me. I didn’t feel the same way but continued dating him because he was handsome, bought presents for me, and drove me around. I cheated on him several times and he always found out, usually by secretly reading my phone. He always forgave me each time because he didn’t want to let me go. This went on for about four years. We have now been broken up for three years and I am a completely different person. I would never do that to someone now.

Why I did it, part of it was immaturity. I wasn’t thinking about how he felt, only my feelings. I also never took the relationship as seriously as he did, I always told myself ‘Not like I’m gonna marry him anyway.’ The last reason was that I didn’t have many friends at the time and felt quite empty/ lonely. So, I fulfilled it by going out with a lot of guys. Looking back on it, he was the one who loved me to death. It was a very pure love on his part. I kept doing crap to him, but he would relentlessly stick by me even though he was in pain. I might not have someone who loves me that much again. deleteduser

We had a contest at my elementary school for selling stuff out of magazines door to door. We "won" these little fuzzy characters, I can't remember what they were called, but we all knew their hierarchy very well. Kids who sold the most got big prizes, like roller skates, bikes, jungle-gym stuff, or gift cards for theme parks. I sold the most in my class two times in a row, and got nothing. The way it worked was that the person who sold the most got called first at the assembly and got to pick whatever prize they wanted. Twice in a row, they just started calling people down and never called me, even though I knew my numbers. My dad was a business guy for Caterpillar machines and my mom was a realtor. They knew how numbers worked, took my stuff to work with them to sell to other employees, and supported a coworker's kid always looks good.

After two semesters of overselling (myself, the people at my parents' jobs didn't help out much) and getting nothing for it, my mom called the school and presented the "evidence" we had. They freaked out and gave me first choice at multiple prizes at the next assembly, I got to choose three things. I got a bike, a set of nice roller blades, and I don't even remember the third thing. It was nice to win something for once when I'd busted my butt going door to door for hours five days a week, only to get shut out by the rich kids whose parents just bought dozens of things and raised way more money. I still have that bike in my barn, it's way too small for me now, and I ended up donating the brand new, never used skates to a local charity. The only time I've ever "won" anything, my mom had to intervene. Super cool and empowering, you know. spiderlanewales

I studied for like 6 days collectively over ~3 weeks, just nothing stuck in my head, and I asked my teacher tons of questions, but I never understood. I stayed at school late, snuck into the classroom, copied the teacher’s guide test answers, wrote them down in a little piece of paper, folded it up like an accordion, stuck it in my pencil bag, and during the test copied down the answers from the little sheet to my test paper when the teacher was looking away. Purposely made 2 (out of 25 problems) wrong to not seem suspicious.

Got a 96% because the teacher gave me a bonus for nice handwriting (the teacher did stuff like that). So, all in all, I definitely think it was worth it, seeing as I would not have gotten first honors that semester had I gotten the grade I would have if I took the test honestly. youhavebeenwobbled

In my freshman year of high school, we had this very, very strict religious teacher. Everyone feared her and knew she was one not to mess around with. One day, during my midterm exam. I decided to cheat (because I wasn't religious whatsoever and couldn't care less). The paper I had with me was huge and had literally half the test answers. I hid it in my shoe. After answering everything I could answer. I pulled out the paper from my shoe and started copying.

My teacher started walking up towards me. Once I noticed I crumpled the paper in my hand. She told me to open my hands. So, I did, and the paper fell down my sleeve. After that, my teacher apologized to me and for the rest of the year, she never even looked twice towards me and her trust in me increased by like 7 billion percent. I'm still in shock that this happened (I've graduated high school now). It's one of my favorite stories to tell. yusefzolanski

A year into one of my relationships, my grandmother died. She was my best friend at the time and I was absolutely devastated. My boyfriend at the time tried to be supportive but he had never lost anyone before, least of all someone that close. One night, I was hanging out with a male friend after work. He made me dinner, let me cry on his shoulder, and listened intently to every story I wanted to share. My mistake was getting drunk, and I mean wasted. I was so far gone that I fell the hell over while sitting cross-legged at the end of his bed watching a movie. As such, I don't remember much about that night. I remember being unable to get a hold of my then boyfriend, and I had missed the last bus and couldn't afford a taxi, so my buddy suggested I crash with him and bus home in the morning. I remember initiating because I was in so much emotional pain and just wanted to feel good for a little while.

I don't remember what we did, but I remember waking up the next day and my first thought was "what the heck did I do". I did tell my boyfriend what happened. I apologized profusely, begged him for forgiveness, and completely cut that male "friend" out of my life. He forgave me and we ended up being together for 4yrs. Broke up for unrelated reasons. To this day, that night is the biggest regret of my life. I know what it's like to be cheated on, I knew prior to this, and I never wanted to do that to someone. Thankfully, I have learned from it, and I know I will never do something so stupid and thoughtless again. lifeslemon91

It was 5th grade. We had to memorize all 50 States. I mean come on. So, the test was written, and we got extra credit for each state capital named. The girl sitting next to me brought a book of state license plates, and apparently a bunch of states name their capital on their license plates! The desks we were at were two-wide (two kids per desk), and the front was completely blocked, so the teacher couldn't see our feet.

We put the book by our feet and were the only two kids to get all 50 states and extra credit. No one suspected a thing. The perfect crime. Coolest_Breezy

I was alone in our college town working for the summer. I had just started at a restaurant and my girlfriend was back in our hometown for the summer for internship. Most days the highlight of my social interaction was going to work. My roommates were gone for the summer and all of my friends except 2 guys I was sort of friends with and hung out maybe once a week with. I was lonely, but I realized that if my friends were there, I would have been perfectly fine with the long-distance relationship. We grew apart and it made me realize that I didn't need her, therefore we weren't meant to be together forever. I also met a girl at the restaurant I worked at and would find myself daydreaming about not just hooking up with her but doing things together. I ended up snap chatting the waitress and looking forward to her texts back more than my girlfriend.

I hit a low when I had been drinking one night and told the girl to come over. She didn't, but when I woke up, I realized that I had as good as cheated and broke it off with my girlfriend over the phone. Crappy thing to do. Added to the fact that I hooked up with the waitress the night we broke up. Of course, it didn't last, and I found out the waitress had decided that she wanted to break me and my ex up the moment we met. Me and my ex weren't meant to be together, sure, but she deserved more than what I gave her. sep1eters3

I only ever cheated once, and it was with my wife. I suppose that needs some explanation. Me and my (now ex) wife were getting divorced. We separated in December, 2001 and I got a girlfriend in February 2002, while my wife and I were still legally married. My state has a 90-day cool down period before the divorce can be initiated. I started dating the other girl during the cool down period. She knew I was still married, and we were even making adultery jokes after we had a thing for the first time. We'd known each other before I even met my wife and probably would have gotten together because we were obviously crazy about each other, but she was 17 and still in high school and I was 23. The age gap seemed too big and, technically, I couldn't legally do anything with her. So, we never actually did anything. She got a boyfriend, and I met my wife. Anyway, we ran across each other shortly after I moved back home, and she was around visiting family. It took about 3 days for us to actually get together as we were both single.

She had to go back to college in California. I had to go settle some affairs with my ex-wife shortly after my girlfriend left. I ended up having a thing with my (almost, but not quite, ex) wife. My girlfriend was furious but initially forgave me. I turned into an insane jealousy monster and was convinced she was going to cheat on me with some guy in California, just as revenge. I became obsessively controlling of her and it drove her off. She broke up with me about a month after I cheated. It sucks because I liked her so much. More than any girl before or since. I massively regret everything I did then. A few years ago, I hunted her down on Facebook and sent her a few messages, but she never responded. Clearly, she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Joetato

I'm a die-hard Jeopardy fan. The show comes on in the afternoon for me. My fiance works the graveyard shift and is usually asleep for it. However, she's off Fridays and is sometimes awake for that episode.

For that episode, I'll look up the episode recap on The Jeopardy Fan to check the Final Jeopardy answer so I can impress her by answering it correctly. I'm such a fraud. That website is a godsend, though. Ganrokh

I was in a very abusive relationship that was simply too cowardly to get out of. One night I managed to go home for an evening for the first time in months (much to my girlfriend’s anger) and went drinking with some mates (to even more anger). I think they could all see how worn down I was (I was also rocking a few stitches from when she hit me with a bottle of JD) and were more than a little perturbed by how often she was texting me and how some of the texts read. After a lot of hugs and drunken promises that I would leave her, most of my mates went home. It was just myself and a lady-friend who hung about because we lived close together and we could walk one another home. We grabbed a few beers from a shop en route and drank them in this little hidden park roughly between our houses as we had done many times before over the years. No idea what happened that night, but one thing led to another and before I knew it, we were having the roughest, angriest, and loudest thing I had ever experienced up until that point.

Not sure what happened, but the next day I sort of felt renewed, a lot more confident. I ended it with the mental ex a few days later, she took it badly, and actually ended up dating the friend for a while. It didn't work out but she certainly redirected me into a better life. How do I feel? Nothing. My ex was a witch who abused me to the point wherein I felt absolutely worthless, "cheating" in this scenario actually helped me rebuild myself in a strange way. PM_ME_YER_TITTAYS

There’s plenty of different reasons people do it, that doesn’t make any of it right. Even when you fall in love with someone else that doesn’t excuse the fact that you haven’t spoken to your partner about it. That’s why I did it, but she never found out.

I left her a week later for the other girl, but then I got dumped by her after a week for someone else too. Naive_Volume8420

He went on a guy get together out of town. He wouldn’t pick up and when he did (at 2 a.m) he was pissed that I had called so many times to check in (the road there is hard and dangerous). I told him I was done and wanted him to come home or I was dumping him. There were many reasons that made me call him back. We were together for 4 years. He said he was leaving first thing in the morning and would call me at noon when he was back.

I get ready and wait till 5 p.m before I start calling and worrying. His mom knows nothing. I opened his Instagram and saw him drunk at noon with friends in a totally different city. I hooked up with someone else that day and dumped him the next. collegekit13

I cheated on an ex when I found out he invited some guy from Grindr to the beach after I declined his invite. Normally, I would have just ended the relationship, but I really enjoyed hanging out with his family. Most of the cheaters I’ve come across have all said the same thing.

They’re happy with their partner, but not sexually satisfied, and then proceed to spill all the deets. Vividagger

I was in a relationship with a guy who was driving me mad. He regularly caused intense drama and "broke up with me" whenever I didn't do precisely what he expected me to do. I loved him but I felt like a puppet in his hands. He was playing with me and my feelings, so I grew resentful. He broke up once more over a meaningless matter (something like he wanted sex, I told him I was tired and that we could do it the following day instead). I lost it. I decided it was really over and taken by a desire to feel free and maybe a sense of revenge, I downloaded Grindr and hooked with more or less the first available guy. As usual, the ex-boyfriend came back asking for forgiveness a couple of days later. I said I needed time and that it was better to spend the summer apart. He would spend 1.5 months back in his home country anyway. I proceeded to sleep with 4 more guys. I also had two dates that ended with a handshake and no sex.

I felt like a piece of crap throughout the whole phase, I was sleeping around as a form of rebellion. During a conversation with the ex, I understood that he had never heard me when I said I wanted a break. Or maybe his very selective mind erased the memory. Long story short, I suddenly found myself cheating. It was a grey area: on my side, I considered myself single, on his side, we were a couple. I didn't feel sorry for him because he had treated me like trash, I felt sorry for myself because I acted in a way that was below my standards. I stopped with it and went back with the ex, and we continued this endless back and forth of breaking up and going back together, until I decided to end it and moved away. It was so toxic that, two years after, I still haven't recovered from it. I don't feel any guilt for the cheating, nor I'm sure it can be called cheating. However, I've promised myself to never do something like that again. It made me feel inferior to the type of person I strive to be. Gallagher297

I was 19 and there was this guy I liked personally and emotionally, but not physically. He wasn’t bad looking, just not physically my type. But I thought it’d be a good step up in my life to date guys through less superficial reasons than I was before. We were friends for a bit, but one day he asked me out and I said yes, after giving it some time to think it over. We had some nice dates; watched movies, talked about life, kissed, etc. and it was actually kinda nice. Just connecting with a person and not immediately throwing our clothes off at any given chance. We tried hooking once, but things just felt awkward. He was inexperienced and I wasn’t all that sexually into him. Then I think his phone rang and it ended.

But that’s all we got around to doing. A few months go by and one day I had this “other friend” over at my place. He was an old fling and I really wasn’t planning to do anything with him, we just had this community service project we worked on together. But the way he was laying down and his pants just awakened the super sexual part of me until it felt uncontrollable. I grabbed his back, he turned over and pulled me into him. Literally, all thought of my current relationship went out the window and we were just down to indulge at that very moment. I felt bad after I came, and just went into a depressive slump for like a week, didn’t respond to anybody, and hardly talked to my actual boyfriend. I told him what I did, and he understandably got really mad. But all I can really chalk it up to was me not knowing what I wanted and acting out when I found out what it really was I wanted and who I was as a person. deleteduser