1. Oh boy! His teeth are falling out
When I was, in ninth grade, a kid ruthlessly bullied me for a few months. I had gotten sick of it and devised a plan for revenge. Every Wednesday, we would sit outside for "quiet reading time," and this kid would always go back inside for a piss. I had left and waited in the bathroom for him, peeking under the stall for his shoes to appear. He entered the bathroom, took his piss, then played on his Gameboy for the rest of reading time.
The bell rang, and he walked to the crowded stairwell, still looking down at his Gameboy. I bumped into him, and he fell face-first down the stairs, knocked out four front teeth. Everyone on the stairs assumed he fell because he was playing his Gameboy. I feel pretty bad about it.
I had identified him by his shoes and used the bathroom as a place to pick up his trail. The bathroom he used was on the second floor since it was closest to the door near where we were outside. I knew he would have to use a set of stairs to return to his next class, one we had together, but I didn't know which one.
CORNDOG
2. Stop shouting at the bowl-cut kid
In elementary school, a bully kid would make fun of me. I had a bad bowl cut, and was pretty small, so it wasn't surprising. My friends and I usually just ignored him.
One day this kid from Brazil moved into the house next to mine. He was a year older, and we used to play soccer together every day after school. I mentioned to him once that this kid would call me names, usually follow me behind, and taunt me as I walked home.
One day as I was about to leave school, this kid was riding his bike slowly while shouting behind me.
The Brazilian kid comes out of nowhere, knocks the kid off his bike, and starts beating him. The bully kid is on the grass, crying and bleeding. The Brazilian kid grabs the bike, hands it to me, "you can keep this," and then walks away. I didn't know what to do, so I laid the bike next to the kid and walked home. He wasn't at school for like a week.
Years later, I found that kid had a crappy home situation with abusive parents. I was ten at the time. Always felt bad for that. He quit bullying me, though. I still occasionally see that Brazilian guy. I don't think he even remembers it! Cool on him for helping in his way. I just think it went too far.
Slin15
3. A call to keep him shut
When I was a preteen, my friend and I went to one of those day camps that picked us up in yellow school buses. One of the other kids on our bus was a younger boy I'd refer to as Eli.
Eli was horrible. He would scream, spit, and hump things, make a mess, and be as annoying and insufferable as possible. Riding the bus with him was a nightmare for everyone involved most of the time.
So I came up with this idea. I found his family in the phone book and called up, pretending to be a camp counselor. I told his mom that he was misbehaving on the bus and would either be disciplined or kicked out of the camp if he didn't stop. She bought it and said she would talk to him about it. I felt so brilliant. The next day, a quiet, sullen Eli showed up with a black eye. I'm still mad at myself for this.
Pyro62S
4. Down the hatch
In elementary school, a friend threw a piece of chalk that hit me square in the forehead. It was the most humiliating moment for the younger me as everyone who saw that started laughing their behinds off.
I plotted and planned my revenge to get back in the same fashion over the next couple of days. One fine day weapon in hand, I find him perfectly placed a chalk-throw away from me.
I yell his name and launch the projectile as he spins around. For some reason, he had his mouth open as he looked at me, and the piece of chalk flew directly into his throat. His eyes widen, and he starts choking. I stood frozen in shock as he fell to his knees, coughing. Luckily somebody grabbed him from behind and thumped his back, so he swallowed the piece. An adult walks in, I cannot remember who it was at the time, but she looks at me and asks what happened. At this point, I'm shaking, realizing that I narrowly killed my friend. I say it was mint. My friend, also surprised at this point, laughs it off, saying it went straight into his throat, and he didn't taste it. The adult shakes her head and says next time, just hand it like an average person and walks away.
Years later, when we were moving to another country, I reminded him about the incident, and came clean about the whole thing. He snaps and yells, "I knew it!".
D1andonly
5. Don't even bother
I was dating this girl, and my friend saw her around town a few times and humiliated her to embarrass me. I told him to stop bothering her, but he did it again.
That night I convinced him to try getting back together with the wildly insane and manipulative ex, whom he hadn't spoken to in years, thinking he would humiliate himself by trying.
Well, they banged and got back together for a while. And they had a baby. Now they're terrible single parents.
PK_Thundah
6. Ice War
My Coworker and I had a friendly prank war spanning two years. Close to the end of our war, he "iced" my car.
Icing involves taking the hose to the parking lot every half hour and spraying a light mist over your victims' car when it's below zero. I finished my 12-hour shift to find a car encased in 2 inches of ice.
My revenge was, I thought, both more inconvenient for him and less freezing my balls off for me. I decided to take a bed sheet, drape it over his car, and only took 4 or 5 trips out with the hose the next night.
So the following day, he finds his car with a quarter inch of ice freezing a sheet to his car. When he started peeling off the sheet, he pulled his windshield wipers, arms, and all off his ratty jeep.
I got a very pissed-off phone call. I felt bad; the unwritten rule was "embarrassing or inconvenient, no damage." I paid for repairs, and he got his revenge. He planted a dozen pieces of smoked herring throughout my car. It took me six months to find the last piece. It was hidden under the carpet under the back window of my car. I can still smell it; I no longer own the car.
FlipZer0
7. Release a punch
Revenge implies thinking out the act or sometime between acts. But at 14, I was rolling up the hose in my backyard with a friend since my mother told me to.
The two girls next door were playing in their backyard and came over to talk. One 12 or so, the other ~7. The 12-year-old happened to be standing on the hose, and I asked her to move. She did not.
I pulled the hose hard enough to make her fall over. At this point, the seven-year-old screamed bloody murder and ran right at me, and bit me right on the stomach. She was not letting go, and blood stained my shirt. I grabbed her head and tried to pull her away, but nothing.
So I just full-on punched her right in her eye. I was/am not proud of this, but it had to be done. What was worse is that the house was owned by a local church where I happened to go to Boy Scouts.
Everyone quickly knew I had punched a seven-year-old and given her a black eye. But no one cared why.
errgreen
8. Slippery River
As a kid, I was at a local river (a great swimming spot many people visited). My friend pushed me into the river, and naturally, I came up spluttering and a little red in the face, but it was all in good fun. For the rest of the day, I planned to get her back, waiting for my opportunity to push her in until she was at the edge of the river drying off. I pushed her, but her flailing and the slippery nature of the rocks she was on made her slip on the spot, and instead of just splashing into the water, she landed on her back, hitting the rocks hard, and then fell into the water.
She was winded but thankfully otherwise unharmed. Our parents were furious at me, and I spent the few seconds it took to get her out (which felt like a lot longer to me) just hoping I hadn't broken her back or something. 2/10 revenge. I would not do it again.
KradeSmith
9. Throw it back
In middle school, a friend threw a small, wadded piece of paper at me. I retaliated by throwing the only thing I could find, which was mud, close to my shoes—smacked him in the face.
The worst part is that it turned out to be dog poop at the bottom of my shoe. I still vividly remember his angry "wtf, man? I throw paper at you, and you throw dog poop?"
Gdlk_Abe
10. Hit it one more time
I sat beside a kid that I was okay friends with, but he would always smack the back of my head. In our grade 9 math class, he did it too many times, and I devised a plan. In my head, I was like, I am going to make up for the last 100 smacks with one big one. So I get up with my textbook when the teacher leaves the room, wind up, and roundhouse him with my textbook (300 pages thick) in the back of my head. I'll never forget how it hit him, launching his face straight into the desk with a huge thud.
Immediately I realized I had taken it too far. Our loud class of students trying to solve practice algebra questions was immediately silent and staring in disbelief. I went into sorry mode right away, trying to save myself because if he told the teacher, I would be dead. Surprisingly he was pretty cool about it, more or less laughing and saying, 'I smack you with my hand, and you use a textbook? He ended up having a big bump on his forehead where his face hit the desk, but he didn't tell his teachers or parents the real reason why. Quite the bro, now that I think of it.
Daniel, if you ever read this. I'm sorry dude.
DudeWithAHighKD
11. Flat tire
I had a roommate who basically let his new GF move into our house in college. She helped herself to everything in the house but has yet to contribute.
Finally, she parked in my parking spot, which was my breaking point. I let all the air out of her tires, thinking she'd just air them back up, and it would be an inconvenience. Instead, she ended up buying all-new tires. Whoops. I never came clean about it.
SEIVIP
12. Little Liar
So all through elementary and middle school, this girl had some kind of strong feelings for me, and I can't quite pinpoint what those feelings were. I don't think she could either, but I don't think it was affection or sexual awakening or anything like that because she turned out a lesbian, and I'm a dude (somewhat effeminate though, so maybe). But anyway, she would be staring at me, and my friends would bring it to my attention, and I'd glance over at her, and she'd grunt and turn her head as if she were disgusted with me, but she'd keep staring out of the corner of her eye.
I mostly tried to ignore her, but she occasionally tried to start messing with me, and I can't say I was always graceful about it, but I never picked on her. But this time, she was at a table up against a wall, and her back was to the wall. A couple of other kids were sitting next to her, and I was trying to get past them to grab a book off a shelf; she had her hair up in a ponytail, and I batted it with my hand, making a boop noise. I would have done it to anybody sitting there at the time. I was just being playful and stupid. But she hisses and grabs her hair, and I throw my hands up and apologize, and she turns her head back around, and I think it's over.
The following day I came into school, and two teachers pulled me out of class and said that this girl's mom had come into school that morning and said that this girl had come to her crying, telling her that I ripped a chunk of her hair out and that I would pinch her and hit her and she lived in constant fear of me. I was like, um, what? The teachers knew she was full of crap because it was a small class, and I had never touched this girl. But they told me to ignore her and not interact with her completely, get close to her, don't respond to her if she says anything to me, etc.
So later that day, my mind was still blown by this whole thing, and I was furious that a woman out there thought I physically and emotionally attacked her daughter regularly. So naturally, I tell my friends and half my damn class. They're all sitting across from me, and I have my back facing the room. The space is otherwise empty, so I'm just giving them all the deets, talking about how ludicrous it is, and how everybody knows it's crap. My friends are all looking at me with their eyes wide and their mouths open, and I think it's because they believe the story is as crazy as I think it is, but then finally, somebody tells me to turn around.
This girl's mom would occasionally come in as a kind of assistant and help grade papers. Anyway, she was like three feet away from me doing just that while I was rambling, talking crap about her and her crazy daughter. So I turn around and make eye contact, and for a second, I feel like I'm caught, but then I'm thrilled because this woman just got my side of the story completely candid. But she looks at me like this is the end for me and says she will tell my teachers everything, and I say, "oh, thank god, please do," and she looks baffled and furious.
Anyway, she tells the teachers later that she overheard me talking about how I had never picked on her daughter like I'd been caught red-handed, and this is the proof she needed. But my teachers say, "no, if anything, that's more proof that your kid is full of crap, but we already knew that."
It was a minor triumph, but I'm still living in the afterglow of that one. Sorry I didn't realize that story was so ridiculously long.
GonzoBalls69
13. New Game
My older brother was always quite horrible to me as a child, and my parents never did much about it. He was also much bigger than me, so that I couldn’t retaliate physically cause the cross-faced/walls of Jericho would swiftly cripple me. One day I had just had enough. My revenge? He had been playing Rome's total war for 6 hours a day for about three weeks. I started a new game and overwrote his save file.
I saw fury like it. I regretted it at the time cause he was so angry it scared me and made him dislike me even more, but now I praise my 13-year-old self for hitting him where it hurt most.
[deleted]
14. Swipe on lips
My older brother was always a jerk to me as well. He always had probably close to 100 lbs on me, so I could not do much to defend myself. I always opted for nonviolent revenge as well. Probably the worst thing I ever did to him was sneaking into his room in the middle of the night while he was sleeping, sticking my index finger all the way into my own anus, and swiping it across his upper lip. He woke up immediately, freaking out as you would imagine, screaming about how it would not stop stinking and that his upper lip was soaking wet. He beat the holy hell out of me and spent the next hour in the bathroom scrubbing his face. He was miserable all night and couldn't go back to sleep, so I was pretty proud of myself.
I was probably ten at the time. Looking back, I fully realize how disgusting it was to do that to another human being, but I loathed him during that time and couldn't think of a better way to mess with him.
Cheese_Pancake
15. Jokes on You
All my friends and I were big into "your mom" jokes in high school. And by "jokes," I mean to say anything, and we'd reply the same thing you said but add "your mom" before or after. Not really funny in the sense of being funny, but just amusing to dumb kids. A friend who was also big in it had his neighbor over (who I also knew from grade school and was old friends with), and the neighbor told me to do something or move something, and I told him, "your mom (whatever he said)" and as soon as it left my mouth, I remembered his mom had just passed last year from lung cancer.
Could he tell? I realized by the look on my face and just said, "Really ChickenWang? My mom?" I just lowered my head and apologized, but he laughed and said it was fine. He was a good sport, but I felt like a jerk. His mom was a wonderful lady too.
ChickenWang98
16. Ain’t no Creep
My friends and I used to pull a lot of pranks on each other growing up, and about ten years ago, I was helping my buddy set up a new business. He was ordering business cards, and the company he was going through offered 500 or so free with a large order, so we decided to prank our other friend. We made business cards with his name, phone number, and home address and had his job title as "Professional Creep" with the slogan "If I'm creepin', you ain't sleepin'."
We passed these cards out all over town. He was getting harassing phone calls for a while and couldn't figure out why. He found one of the cards on a random fridge at a party about two years ago and put 2 and 2 together. He was pissed and is still getting random calls ten years later. I feel really bad about that one.
Smith495
17. Flying Bikes
My brother and cousins were walking home from school. My brother and I were walking, and my cousins were on bikes. They kept circling and making fun of us because we didn't have bikes. One of my cousins then spits on me. Out of reflex, I blasted her with my trumpet case, and she went flying, landed on the concrete, and broke her arm. I felt awful; it was the first and last time I had never hit a girl.
My family believed every word of the story, knew this cousin was always a total bitch to me, and largely believed she had it coming. I still felt awful tho.
SIMONEY
18. Anger Issues
My sister used to kick my butt on the regular. She had mad anger problems and would go berserk over the littlest things. One time I turned the light on while she was trying to sleep, she beat me up, and I went to prom with bruises all over me. All through the years, I never hit her back. I was a super sensitive kid, and if I ever hit back, I cried to my mom about how I loved my sister and hated hurting her.
After I graduated, she calmed down a bit, but she still had issues. Coming back from a small party one night, she was back on her old crap, just getting mad over something stupid and going crazy. We get home, get out of the car, and say I’m driving home. She kept saying I was “too drunk” even though I’d only had 2-3 mini beers. She grabs the back of my shirt, and I’m so pissed at her. I turn around fast with my fist out to hit her arm or something. She immediately lets out a blood-piercing scream and drops to the ground. Blood is spurting everywhere. She leaves a trail, runs inside, and wakes up our mom and dad. It turns out I broke her nose pretty bad, but my mom and dad kept saying it couldn’t be that bad because I had done it and that she must have been messing with me for me to have done something like that after all these years of her beating on me. I felt so awful I cried and tried apologizing, but she went to the hospital. I don’t feel so bad now because she purposely never paid the bill, thinking she could bully me into producing it, and she never lets it go. She always says I’m why her credit and stuff are high and that she still has collections agencies calling her over the ER bill. I’m not paying that crap. Consider it payment for the years of abuse.
[deleted]
19. I’m not joking
My friends, to celebrate my graduation, threw me into the shallow end of the beach (off of a concrete wave breaker). Shallow end cause I was always too scared to jump into the deep end.
I landed on a rock and broke my foot in several places. They didn't believe I was in pain and left me to limp the 20 minutes to the car (we were 18), calling me at 2 am to ask where I was when I said the emergency room... My friend cried. Serves her right
BulletBites
20. Scardy Cat
This one wasn’t a planned revenge, but I still feel guilty about it whenever I think about it.
As a kid, I was extremely easy to scare by jump scares, and I hated them. I would always enter fight-or-flight mode whenever something jumped at me, and then I’d be mad afterward. When my buddies caught on to this, they made it their business to jump out at me and scare me any chance they got. Despite my hate of being scared, I was a huge fan of Halloween, and I had a Halloween party every year, close to or on the big day.
Naturally, this was the night when all my friends would do their dumbest to scare me so badly that I would bolt and run. They succeeded a few times when we were all under nine years old, but something shifted in me the year I turned ten, and none of us knew it until it was too late.
As usual, I had my big Halloween party, all my buddies were there, and as usual, one of them wanted to try and scare the pants off me. About midway through the evening, I went down the hall to use the restroom, and while I was there, my friend (I’ll call him Aaron) scampered down the aisle after me and hid in a darkened doorway. I exited the restroom and started down the hall, and Aaron jumped at me and grabbed my arm. Ordinarily, something like this would have made me bolt like a bit of chickencrap, but for some reason, that night, the Flight side of my Fight-or-Flight got turned off. When he grabbed me, I whirled and punched him square in the face without thinking about what I was doing.
It was all pure instinct, and after impact, I realized what I’d just done and freaked out. Aaron wrenched his mask off, clutched his face, and groaned (or so I thought), and I yelled for my dad, concerned I had really hurt my friend. My dad and all my other friends came running down the hall to find out what had happened; my dad flipped on the hallway light, and what greeted us? Aaron with his face covered in blood. I am instantly horrified, thinking I busted his nose, but as I’m spewing apologies to him, I realize he’s not groaning; he’s laughing.
He grabbed me by the hand I’d punched him with and yelled, “What’re you apologizing for?! That was freakin’ awesome!” and he yanked my hand up over my head like I was a boxing champ and started telling everyone how cool it was of me just to haul off and slug him.
If you haven’t guessed, Aaron was a pretty cool kid. He thought it was great that I’d suddenly found the courage to defend myself. My dad helped get him cleaned up (though he insisted on keeping his now bloody costume on) and inspected his nose. Thankfully, it wasn’t broken. However, I still feel a wave of guilt when I remember the sight of his face covered in blood and remember the feeling of my fist hitting him in the schnoz. I’ll always be grateful to him for handling it so well and encouraging me to stand up for myself, but I still feel so guilty about decking him that I can’t even imagine how I would feel if I had broken his nose.
The5Virtues
21. Fell off the hill
When I was in Nursery (pre-school), a kid used to constantly bully me, take toys off of me, etc. One day, outside in the garden, he stole a toy tractor I was riding on. He stood up on the seat and stuck his tongue out at me. Age 4 me had finally been broken. I ran and kicked the tractor, which jolted it forward.
He subsequently fell off, rolled down a hill into some stingy nettles, and got pretty nasty cuts and bruises. I remember thinking right then and there, wow, I didn't need to do that, but that little part of me felt great
UnhappyAnalysis
22. What a bite
I was in daycare/preschool, but I was the victim. I was probably about 3, maybe three and a half. I see a girl my age playing with some barbie dolls alone, so I ask her if I can play with her. And she says, "no, go away. I don't like you". So I left feeling pretty irritated that she wouldn't share with me because this girl was hogging at least five barbies to herself. Eventually, I saw her get up, and she left the barbies there for a good while, so I supposed she was done with them and just didn't put them away. So I go over, sit down with the barbies, and as I pick one up this little girl comes barreling across the room and sinks her teeth right into my arm as hard as she can.
This all happened in the span of ~10 seconds like this girl was hiding across the room waiting for me to try and touch the barbies. I started screaming and crying and trying to hit her in the face with the Barbie because she wouldn't let go. It was probably the worst pain I had experienced in my short time alive. I forever hated Barbie dolls after that incident.
Mspaintthis
23. Dont screw with me
I was 11, and my older brother was 16. We would fight and argue, but once I was running up the stairs away from him, he whipped the back of my legs with a long rubber chew toy. It left a pretty big, figure-8-shaped welt on my legs. I knew he was faster and stronger than me, and I knew if I tried to attack him, he'd stop me. So, I grabbed a flathead screwdriver and held it over the stove until it was red hot. I ran up to him and very openly went to stab him, knowing he'd stop me. He grabbed my wrist to stop my thrust (as anticipated), and I pushed the red-hot head of it into his forearm as hard as I could.
Man, I was a crazy jerk as a kid. Sorry, Mike.
KidGrundle
24. Press charges
Some girl hit my car in a hit-and-run. There was a witness to the crime, so the police were able to track her down. When I was asked if I wanted to press charges I went for it. Turns out she had no license or insurance. She kept trying to fight the charges but wound up getting sued by my insurance, having to pay me restitution via the court system, and four separate charges between all her crimes, including a decent fine. She was an 18-year-old single mom. I felt super bad by the end of it.
The damage wasn’t significant. There was a small dent and a large scratch. It was all cosmetic damage. My deductible was small, but the total bill to my insurance was about three grand. My car is over ten years old and has some other scratches. I was way more upset that someone hit me and drove off than I was about the damage. I wouldn’t have bothered fixing it if the girl hadn’t driven off.
Pursuing her and pressing charges was 100% fueled by revenge, and her life got pretty messed up. Yeah, what she did wasn’t right, but I can emphasize her being a scared 18-year-old who made a bad choice while caught up in the moment. Also, I’m not justifying her behavior because she had a kid, but it does make me feel bad for her. Being a single parent (as a woman or man) is costly, and having a bunch of fees on top of that financial burden has got to suck.
[deleted]
25. Defend yourself
My grandpa was a bit old school and gave me prison-yard advice for my first week of school. He said, if anyone picks on you, just deal with them right then, don't take it. During the first week of Kindergarten, a grade 1 kid pushed me around, not letting me return to class.
I pushed him down against a fence and kicked him in the face 3 or 4 times, splitting his nose. I almost got kicked out of school until they found out my grandpa had told me to do it. The thing is, no one messed with me after and that guy was nice to me all the way through to graduation.
grayum_ian
26. It was an accident!
Oh man, this poor kid I used to work with at Wendy's. Kevin, a juvenile delinquent, was a few years older than me, a little bit bigger than me had nasty tattoos on his neck, and supposedly was out of jail on work release. He tried to be tough and bully me whenever we worked together. Stuff like generally talking smack unprovoked, getting real close up in my face, and that stance where you puff out your chest and pull your arms back like you're going to swing. The most irritating was when he would walk right up in my face, then flinch like he was going to throw a punch at me, then just laugh and say some rude crap.
I got along with almost everyone at work, and he did somewhat, but we did not fit together. One day the exchanges between us were so apparent and stressed everyone working was talking about me fighting him. I dispelled these rumors as I wanted to keep my job - but my destiny on this day said otherwise.
First was the backdoor incident. The store had a large back door with a peephole that could only be opened from the inside. There was a buzzer outside that employees would push if they wanted back in. Kevin was locked outside, and his patience while awaiting his re-entry had run out. Instead of tapping the buzzer, this guy mashed it and held it down while everyone inside went nuts. We were all busy, and I ran to the back to grab some heavy boxes. Holding these boxes, I would open the back door while I walked past. I tried to push on the door, but it wouldn't open. I leaned into it but couldn't push much more because of the boxes I held. I was in a hurry so I yelled, "GET BACK I'M GONNA KICK THE DOOR!" he did not hear me over the loud constant buzzing. I gave that door a swift THIS IS SPARTA kick, and it opened about 3 inches, then bounced closed again. Wtf!?? I kicked it again, and it opened, revealing abashed and somewhat upset Kevin. When I kicked the door, he had been trying to look in the peephole. I had just broken the crap out of his nose. Like the tip almost touched his cheek, bright red-purple, swollen eyes, broken. He was pissed. Immediately I started apologizing and backing away from him, but he came at me like a rabid monkey. Quickly we were surrounded by employees and separated. I was told to go up front and manage fries and not to come into the back part of the store until Kevin left for the hospital.
Then the final event, less than 10 minutes later. I was working on the fries, which entails grabbing a metal basket from boiling hot oil and dumping the fresh fries into an adjacent tray. I was doing this, and everyone talked about how I broke Kevin's face. On his way leaving our store for the hospital, he decided to come right up to me again and try to instigate a fight while I was dumping some fresh fries. Kevin pulled his signature move of flinching at me like he would throw a punch. I retaliated by returning my flinch with the basket I was holding. I didn't hit him with an incredibly hot fry basket. But I forgot about the boiling oil still clinging to the basket. When I flinched at him and shook the basket, tiny flaming hot drops of grease splattered his face and neck.
I broke his nose accidentally, then threw boiling oil on his face. Instant fight. On the ground. I'm a wrestler, so his freshly broken and burned nose was smashed and wiped across a dirty floor for a few seconds before it was broken up. He was an absolute mess. He left for the hospital, and I got sent home. That was it. No charges. No questions from my manager(s) after. No more being scheduled with Kevin. Not even any paperwork about two vicious assaults and fights on the same day. I felt awful but simultaneously quite justified. Both incidents were accidents that could have easily been avoided if he hadn't been such a jerk. I still felt like the outcome was worse than reasonable.
Jasonxhx
27. Pull the Piggy
When I was about 7 or 8, this girl was at my horrible school, and we'll call her Cindy. Cindy would run up to you and pull your hair out, steal the toy you were playing with, eat your snack at snack time, etc. In other words, she was a real witch.
One day as we were finishing recess in the playground, she approached me, pulled my hair, and took some with it. That was the last straw. As the teacher gathered everyone inside and wasn't looking our way, I grabbed Cindy by her pigtail and dragged her over to the playground. Now, this playground was built weirdly with an enclosed area in the middle of 3 bridges that formed a triangle you couldn't escape. Sometimes bigger kids would jump in during hide and seek and climb out later. But Cindy couldn't because she was shorter. So I picked her up and threw her down in there and left to go back inside. It wasn't until about an hour later that the teacher realized that Cindy wasn't in class. I didn't say where she was; it took them another half hour to find her. I got in trouble and had to spend the next week in the principal's office (and lost my Gameboy for a month), but Cindy never messed with me again.
AfroMidgets
28. Sliced
I had an older brother that I mostly got along with, but we would fight occasionally. One time, I can't remember what we were fighting about, but he got super pissed and actually ran into the kitchen to grab a knife to threaten me. This was the first (and last) time he ever did that. As he hastily went to grab the knife out of the drawer, he cut himself pretty badly and was bleeding all over.
In a single instant, we went from "so angry I want to stab you" to "holy crap,” you're bleeding, and mom will kill us. What do we do?!". We got the bleeding to stop and bandaged him up as best we could. When mom came up, we told a story about his hand getting sliced over at a nearby playground while wasting time. I was 12 or 13 at the time (him two years older). We ended up telling my mom the real story when we were in our thirties. She told us it was a good thing we lied because she would've killed us.
Spiritchaser84
29. Don't hit it with a shoulder
Two days ago, in my soccer game, this clumsy defender caught my ankles seconds after I would pass the ball away. So one play, he was clearing the ball, and I just wanted to lay the kid out.
As he was on his plant foot swinging, I hit him with my shoulder hard, and as he was falling, he grabbed me and took me down with him. I landed on his arm and it snapped like a twig between the wrist and the elbow. I feel awful.
prof_kabbbige
30. Eat with me
My parents built my brother and me an outdoor clubhouse when we were little. He got the top of the clubhouse, and I got the bottom. The bottom was just a square pit of river rock and spiderwebs. The access to the ropes and ladders was at the top of the clubhouse, and he had a table and some other things up there. We were eating lunch outside one day, and I wanted to come up and eat with him. He said no (like he usually did), so I climbed up the ladder and threw my spoon at him.
It hit him in the head and cut his head open. I feel slightly bad about it now since we get along, but he was such a coward (so were my parents) when I was a kid.
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