If there's something that no one can ever truly master, it's parenting. Children have minds of their own (even if their ideas may not make sense to you), making their behavior unpredictable. Despite not agreeing with your children, you still love them, and hard as it may be, you still want to create a good relationship between you and them. Here is a list of things you should consider.
Prioritise Communication
If you can't communicate well with your kids and have no interest in changing that, you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Communication is not a one-way street. The same way you take a step back to listen to all the people you deem as important is the way you should actively listen to your children when they are trying to communicate with you. Effective communication also entails airing your views unjudged and looking for a middle ground or a compromise with your children so that they don't feel like you listen. By creating a safe space for them to communicate with you, they will trust you better, and in turn, you'll be able to enjoy a beautiful relationship with your kids.
Spend Quality Time
Time is an important investment in your relationship with your children. You tend to ensure that you take time to have fun together so that you can connect on different levels. Remember, you should only do what you feel is fun with them but should instead ask them for their opinions on what a fun day of activities looks like. You can then find hobbies or activities you can enjoy together, whether it’s cooking, sports, or arts and crafts. Establish family rituals, like game nights or weekend outings, to strengthen bonds. You may just find yourself wanting to spend every other free time you have with your children after this.
Stay Involved In Their Lives
You need to be an active front-row participant in your children’s life. You can do this by attending their games, sports, and school events. Not only will this save your child from having emotional damage caused by absentee parents, but it will help you keep up with the things that are happening in their lives and regulate them where there is a need. Don't be a distant parent, your kids need your active involvement to flourish.
Be affectionate
There's more to being a parent than being a provider and just doing what you are required of on a bare minimum level. You need to further your actions by showing your kids that you love them. After all, a child's first true and unfiltered love should Come from their parents first. Hug them, give them pats on the back, or simply hold their hands in assurance so that they know they are loved even when you are in disagreement. Also, make it a point to tell them verbally how much you love them. This can strengthen emotional connections and then ultimately strengthen your relationship.
Be Supportive
Do not force your children into living the life you want for them only so that you can live vicariously through them. Instead, encourage their interests and support their passions and hobbies, even if they differ from your interests. Stay supportive of them even when the going gets tough and challenging. You'll be surprised at how your support for them will mold them into even better people than they were. By doing this, you are showing them that they can rely on you for everything, building your relationship into a healthier one.
Have Set Boundaries
Just because you're the parent doesn't mean that your kids can't set boundaries for you. You need to collectively set rules with your children and involve them in setting all ground rules for them. You should allow them autonomy and room to contribute to things that are beneficial to them. Make sure that you also make sure that the boundaries and rules you set are implemented and that the repercussions for breaking the rules are set. This will ensure that you both know what to expect from each other. Ensuring that there is consistency in rules and consequences builds trust and security with your children. Which is beneficial to your relationship. Becoming healthier.
Lead by Example
Children learn more by observing what you do. They then model their behavior to match the things you do. This goes to say that if you are rude to them but expect them to be good to you, it won't happen. You, therefore, have the duty to demonstrate the values and behaviors you want to instill, such as respect, kindness, and responsibility. Instead of setting unrealistic behavioral expectations for them, just act right and you will model their behavior. This will help them look up to you more, knowing that you are consistent and fair thus helping build your relationship into a stronger one. Teach them how to handle conflicts and challenges by modeling effective strategies.
Allow Them Their Independence
Being too restrictive of your children will make them feel suffocated. It will only make children feel rebellious and defensive of their actions, causing constant disputes and straining your relationship in turn. I'm sure you can relate to this from your childhood. You, therefore, need to give them room to make their own decisions on age-appropriate topics. This will encourage them to grow while feeling supported, Replacing feelings of feeling tied down and suffocated with a constant increase in their independence.