A Prank Like No Other
Joe sat in hilarious anticipation as he hid behind the bar. Mike excused himself from the customers and went to a quiet corner of the bar, holding his folder stiffly in his hands.
He sat down, took a deep breath and turned the first page of the legal document. He read the cover letter, groaned and raised his hands to his face. Little did he know, his day was about to get much, much worse.
Best Friends
Joe Hammer was just like every other young man in his early 20’s. He didn’t have it all figured out yet but if there was one thing he knew, it was how to have a good time.
His best friend Mike, knew this better than anyone. They even worked together at their local bar. Mike was a bartender and Joe was a bouncer. It was a time in their lives when the living was easy but that’s not to say their friendship was always smooth-sailing.
From Light To Dark
At first, the pranks were lighthearted and innocent. It was all good fun but that all changed when Mike started to take things to the next level.
It was a nerve-wracking 12-hour shift for Joe as he waited for a call back from a salesman interview he had done. He really wanted this job. He clung to his phone all day, hoping for good news. That’s when Mike launched his first attack.
The War Begins
Knowing how much Joe wanted this new job, Mike thought it would be funny to put his number on private and crank call Joe at work - all day long.
Every time Joe got a phone call, his heart raced. Even when he was almost positive it was Mike again, he’d cling to the desperate hope it wasn’t. As the day dragged, his anger grew. Mike knew how much this meant to him and he would pay for this.
Pay Back
Joe had suffered a horrible day thanks to Mike. It wasn’t enough to simply get him back with the first prank he thought of. No, this one had to be well-thought-out.
He was going to give Mike the same hurt and disappointment Mike gave him. So he decided he would go nuclear and end their prank war with a devastating blow. Thus, using Mike’s enjoyment of the single life, his master revenge plan came into fruition.
Ladies Man
As a popular bartender with a silver tongue, Mike was a hit with the ladies. And he liked to make sure everyone knew it. Joe decided to use this to his advantage and teach him a lesson or two.
He was going to have him served with a fake paternity suit while he was working at the bar. How was he going to pull it off?
Lights, Camera, Action
A lawyer walked through the doors of the bustling bar. Wearing a suit and tie, he tucked a folder under his arm, and made a beeline towards the bar, to where Mike was standing.
Dropping formalities, he asked Mike for his name. Once confirmed, he slapped his folder down on the bar. “What’s that?” Mike asked. The lawyer handed it to him and responded, “Paternity suit. You’ve been served”. He turns and walks out.
Behind The Scenes
Mike stood frozen, staring at the folder between his hands. Meanwhile, Joe was sitting out of sight behind the bar, desperately trying to hold in his laughter.
The lawyer was one of Joe’s friends, who was instructed on exactly how to act. The folder was a bunch of free online legal documents, including the paternity suit, income disclosure forms, statements of parental rights and suggestive visitation rights. But that wasn’t the most convincing part.
Best Bits
Joe crafted a backstory in the cover letter and called out the mother’s fake law firm, “The [nearby city] Family Law Center”. He named Mike’s past fling with an Irish exchange student who visited last summer, as the mother and that her baby “Eliza” was his.
He also set up a generic voicemail for the law office’s number, encouraging Mike to call between office hours to arrange a DNA test to affirm paternity. The paperwork was 20-25 pages long.
Sinking In
Joe sat in hilarious anticipation as he watched Mike excuse himself from the customers around him and go to a quiet corner of the bar, with his folder in hand.
He sat at a table and turned the first page of the very real-looking paternity suit. He read the cover letter and raised his hand to his face, wincing. Little did he know, his day was about to get much, much worse.
The Boss Plays His Part
Joe had told his boss about his prank and asked him to approach Mike and question what was wrong and then add stress to his situation and wait for the signal to reveal the prank.
Mike’s boss did exactly that. Joe listened as their conversation took a very real turn. Mike was getting teary-eyed and was about to call his mom. Joe wondered how far he should take this. He wanted his revenge to leave a mark.
Realization
But just before he grabbed out his phone to call his mom, Joe nodded. Mike was directed to read the very last line of the document.
Confused, Mike fumbled to the very last page, his eyes quickly scanned the document and then his face turned from pale to red. He was totally furious and he flipped.
Busted!
At the end of the document, in very very fine print, it read “Now we’re even, Mike”. Mike read it and spotted Joe keeled over laughing. He then ran over to him and punched him in the chest.
Everyone watched as Mike then made a quick exit. Since then, they ceased fire on their prank war. However, not before that prank came back to haunt Mike.
A Prank That Keeps On Giving
Several months later, Mike’s mom was clearing his car when she stumbled across the fake paternity suit. For some reason, Mike kept it in the side door of his car.
Mike received a phone call from his sobbing mother one evening as she demanded an explanation as to why he never told her about her estranged Irish granddaughter.
The Friendship Continues
Safe to say, Joe delivered on his promise to put an end to their prank war with the most outrageous, perfectly planned and fatal prank.
Although many friendships may not have been able to survive this psychological warfare, Joe and Mike remain good friends. But now, they try to stay away from the whole let’s-try-to-destroy-each-other's-lives part!