As a member of this species, I find some of these things completely bizarre. At the same time, I have also noticed myself doing a few of them! If aliens took their UFO out of orbit and landed on our planet for a visit, I’m sure they’d be weirded out too!
Which of these things do you think they would find the strangest?
Have you ever started a sentence without remembering what you were talking about in the first place? Rehearsed your order at the drive-up window and then completely forgotten where you were? You are not alone!
Our brains can sometimes skip the needle-- whoops!
What was I about to order-- chicken nuggets? I better remember fast, because the car behind me in line has started honking!
Does the ant crawling across the window sill have a thought in its head about what would happen if you suddenly decided to squish it? No! Yet humans are obsessed with thoughts about what--if. Is the plane I’m on going to crash?
Is that blowfish sushi I’m trying going to make me keel over?
Maybe if we spent more time focused on the task at hand, like our hard working insect friends, we’d get farther in life. Then again, cars are everywhere, and it’s hard not to worry about how bad it would be to get squished. I guess I’ll look both ways before crossing the street!
Did you know that babies in the womb hiccup? It’s true! We start this habit even before we are born. Side note-- why does it seem like everyone and their grandma has the perfect cure for this occasional hassle?
My solution?
Drink water through a straw while plugging your ears with your fingers. Hey, give it a try next time you have the hiccups. Or better yet, as the cute guy who bought the champagne to help try and scare you and make them go away!
Are you staring out the window, thinking about how much fun you are going to have when your new video game comes out, or how much money you’ll have when your student loans are paid off? Humans spend more than 10% of their days letting their minds wander.
There’s nothing wrong with this practice, unless you happen to be somewhere serious, like a courthouse! Sometimes, paying attention is important.
If you’re a lifeguard at a local pool, you need to remember to stay focused-- it could save a life! But just know, our minds wander whether we want them to or not. We might as well enjoy the ride.
This fantastic ability is called “lucid dreaming”. Some of us know how to do it, some of us don’t, and a few of us are able to learn. Next time you’re asleep, give it a try! Just notice you’re asleep and try to control your dream from inside.
It’s great fun to be able to simulate your favorite ice cream stand from childhood, or meet up with long lost friends from school.
Better yet-- let’s go flying! I’m a bird way up in the clouds, just flapping along, until… beep, beep, beep! Damn, my alarm clock!
When it’s dark and quiet, sometimes our imaginations get the better of us. We can create bad guys in our heads who want to attack us as we run up the stairs away from them.
If this has ever happened to you, you might laugh at yourself a little later when the lights are back on and the dread has died down.
Then again, you may realize your fear means there are some things you can’t control, and your human brain is reminding you to be prepared for anything. At least running up the stairs is a work out!
We’ve all done our own staging of Madonna songs, singing into hair brushes and staring seductively at the imaginary camera. It’s not hard to get carried away by the deep bass of a favorite tune, or sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey, we’re humans-- it’s what we do!
Just make sure your neighbors aren’t home when your voice goes falsetto. Have a glass of water handy for after-- you’re going to be thirsty!
It’s called “the call of the void”. When driving over the Mississippi River or looking down from the Empire State Building, we might sometimes wonder what it would be like to let go and fall. But we know it’s not really a good idea-- we just are drawn to the sublime nature of experiences we’ve never had before.
If you really enjoy this sensation, now may be a good time for you to take up rock climbing.
Get out onto the mountain, but make sure you have the correct gear and a healthy appreciation for the value of a good grip. Mountain selfies are beautiful, but staying grounded means we get to go home at the end of the day. Sometimes, we have to turn off the call of the void and get back to reality.
You’re writing a paper for a class, and it’s due early tomorrow. You start brainstorming to yourself and wondering aloud about the best way for the words to fit together. “Mumble, mumble, NO! That doesn’t work!”
Suddenly, your roommate bangs on the wall.
She’s asleep, and wanting you to be quiet! You’re not alone here-- we all talk to ourselves sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I make pretty good company!
So you’ve seen too many Bourne Identity films, okay? Still, it’s hard not to enter a restaurant or grocery store without wondering what the best way is to get in or out. After all, you wouldn’t want to be cornered by the bad guys, right?
Knowing your exits is always a good idea, whether you’re the star of a blockbuster spy film, or just a guy trying to pick up some groceries for dinner.
It’s also a good idea to keep in shape, in case you have to make a break for it. Bring your own grocery bags, or else pasta sauce and a dozen eggs are going to fly out of those flimsy plastic bags all over the floor. Wet clean up, aisle 9!
You see an old woman at the park feeding the ducks. Suddenly, it seems like you can read her thoughts! She seems like she’s had a hard life, so you begin to empathize with her and create a whole backstory on her. Maybe she was a safe cracker in a previous life.
Maybe she’s still a criminal on the run. Are you going to sit down with her and ask her?
Of course not! But it’s still fun to wonder what she’s thinking, and who she was in a past life. Hey, at least now she has the ducks to keep her company, whether or not she’s got the rest of her jewel thief stash hidden away in the basement.
Sure, you can make faster time if you focus on the goal. But isn’t it more fun to avoid cracks in the sidewalk and swerve around your neighbors?
They may get in on the game too, so watch out!
If little Billy chucks a snowball at you, you’ll be ready!
You’re at the bar on vacation. The music is swaying, the cocktails are flowing, and you met some cute guys. Maybe you and your bestie want to pretend you’re Irish.
After all, you’re never going to see these dudes again, so who could it hurt?
Top o’ the mornin’ to you! You two will have a story to remember for a lifetime, and they’ll always talk about those two Irish lasses they met in the Caribbean.
Then again, I’m curious to see what odd things they would do. Would they lose their car keys? Look for their glasses when they’re really sitting on top of their forehead? Call their new girlfriend’s mom by their ex-mother-in-law’s name?
Yikes!
I bet aliens aren’t so different from us, after all.
What do you think? If you were an alien, what strange behaviors do you think you would bring to the third rock from the sun?