"Former cop here. I was behind a vehicle that couldn't stay in the lane, kept swerving, etc. It was 1 am, and I think another drunk idiot was on the road. Pull him over; the guy is straight-up rude to me. Cursed me out, yelling at me, and I notice his speech is slurred. I get him out of the car, and I can smell a fruity smell on his breath, and he has to lean against the car for support.
I ask him how much he had to drink, and he tells me to f*ck off. By this point, I'm ready to bring him in for a DUI, but I just had a feeling something wasn't right. I called EMS to come to check him, his blood sugar was at 40. Not drunk, just a diabetic. If I would have arrested him, he probably would have died before I finished the paperwork. Go with your gut if something doesn't seem right!" -Reddit user Exsoulja
"My first ever real call was for a flasher at the local park, when I got there and finally found him, it was a mentally impaired young man 16-17 who had a pair of headphones on in a full pooh bear. I said: "Hey man, come here.
What the hell is going on? You know you have to keep your pants on, especially at the park." He goes on to tell me he had bad itching down his pants and couldn't take it anymore, so he had to rip his pants off and was running home to get help; I said: "Cmon, you couldn't make it home first?" He said: "No, I had ants in my pants." According to more than one witness’s account, he had been sitting in a sandbox playing at the park and accidentally on a nest of red ants that had crawled up his pant legs..." -Reddit user Bretc211
"My dad was a cop, and my favorite story of his goes like this: He’s a young cop in a rough neighborhood. It’s so late that the stop lights are flashing red, meaning treat it like a stop sign. Out of nowhere, this pink caddy goes rolling through the intersection. My dad pulls him over.
A big black dude was driving, the caddy had a fur interior, dice in the mirror. A real “pimp” car, if you know what I mean. My dad says, “Sir, do you know you ran that light back there,” and this guy says, “Officer, I believe I got between the flashes.” My dad was laughing so hard he had to let the guy go." -Reddit user deleted
"This will probably get buried, but here's my best story. I had a heroin addict who I arrested for a warrant. While searching her purse, I found a small container with a grayish/brown substance, consistent with heroin. When I asked her what it was, she started laughing. She told me to test it because it wasn't heroin.
I tested it and sure enough, the test came back negative. She explained to me that inside the container were the ashes of her dead cat. She said that when she goes to pick up heroin for her friends, she'll take some for herself and cut the rest with her cat's ashes. Her friends have been snorting or shooting up some of her dead cat." -Reddit user buckmelanoma77
"One of the funnier ones that I remember. We got a call for a kid (he was 18 and a gang member) brandishing a firearm. He had pulled up his shirt pretending to brandish a firearm to intimidate somebody. The person calling only saw a holster. After we got there, he kept telling us it wasn't a gun but a dildo.
We took him down at gunpoint, and he was right. He was walking around with a holstered, black dildo. Why? Because he could. haha." -Reddit user SpicyMcHaggis666
"My dad is an officer, and he pulled someone over for speeding and running a red light, and they said their breast implant burst.
He called ems to rush them to the hospital and turned out it did, and it’s very dangerous if they leak." -Reddit user MuffTacos
"Not the cop in this story, but someone crashed into a tree on their way to work, and most people have an excuse as to why they weren't at fault when they crash. In this particular case, the woman said an owl flew into her car, and she swerved off the road into a tree.
Anyway, said cop gets into the car to move it for the tow truck, and sure enough, an owl flies from the back seat past the officer's face and out the front window. The owl was included in the diagram of the accident report." -Reddit user isthisreddit157
"I pulled someone over for driving across the median while there was a warrant out for assault. The guy was pleading for 20 minutes until we finally realized that he did not match the description.
It turns out he just had the exact same name, birthday and was born in the same city as the person we were looking for." -Reddit user (deleted)
"I got a call about a domestic dispute which sounded very heated. When I got to the scene, I heard someone swearing and fighting from inside the house. A guy answered the door, furious.
He told me he was building IKEA furniture. Entering inside, I realized that there was indeed half set up IKEA furniture and no one else in the house." -Reddit user (deleted)
"I stopped a car that was unable to stay in his lane and had erratic speeds- all signs of an impaired driver. He said that there was a frog in his car, that he didn’t want it to touch it, and he had a huge fear of them.
When looking inside, sure enough, there was a huge frog on his dashboard." -Reddit user (deleted)
"It was 2 am when we stopped a man who was driving with music blasting and going a little over the speed limit. He passed the breathalyzer and everything. However, while patting him down, I felt something in his pocket.
He claimed that it was tea that his friend gave him, which I thought was ridiculous.
He then pulled out a plastic baggy, complete with a single bag of tea, labeled neatly. When I asked him why he had it, he responded, “I like tea, officer.”
-Reddit user (deleted)
"I pulled over a vehicle which was swerving dangerously. I didn’t ask if they were drinking because I could already smell it. I ordered them out of the vehicle and realized that everyone was soaked and shaken up.
It turns out two champagne bottles burst open due to the July heat, spraying drinks everywhere in the vehicle. I still did a sobriety check to be sure. " -Reddit user (deleted)
"I saw a car driving very slowly and strangely in the middle of the night in a store parking lot. I thought they might be casing, but it turns out he was just playing Pokémon Go.
This is the fourth time I’ve had this experience for this week! " -Reddit user (deleted)
"I received a call for a domestic violence argument in progress. When we arrived, we heard a male yelling and crying at his wife. He didn’t want to open the door, so we kicked it in and searched the house. We found him in his bed and his wife was nowhere to be seen.
He was still worked up and crying. When he finally calmed down, we asked him where his wife was. He pulled back the covers and showed us an urn. He had just brought her home from cremation." -Reddit user (deleted)
"One night, I pulled someone over for speeding. I got my flashlight for visibility and began doing a standard traffic stop routine. The guy wasn’t cooperating at all but kept pointing to the side of his head and shrugging.
Eventually, I pulled him out of the vehicle, which is when he said, “I’m deaf!” He later explained that he could read lips, but the flashlight was blinding him. I felt terrible and quickly sent him on his way." -Reddit user (deleted)