Awkward Moments
In a Twitter trend that had gone viral, people share awkward moments where a joke didn't land. People flooded the tread with situations where their jokes were met with complete silence.
The end result is a compilation of stories that would probably make anyone cringe and laugh all at once. Here are the most awkward jokes!
Riding In An Elevator
Once I was in an elevator with five strangers, and a lady ran up at the last second. Instead of helping her, we all watched the door close.
I said, "Good. I never liked her." I thought my comment would be received with enthusiastic laughs. Nothing. I rode for ten floors in complete silence. Never again.
During Labor
When I was in labor (and possibly a little woozy from all the meds), I confidently said to the many doctors and nurses that had suddenly flooded the room. "I bet you're all wondering why I've gathered you here."
I barely got a chuckle out of it. I'm still sore over that one, and it's been years since it happened.
Twelve Friends
I worked at a local pub as a waitress. And a table of 12 arrived, and I said, "12 friends? I don't even know 12 people," as a joke.
It went completely silent, and one of them told their mom that I had no friends, and she told my mom. My mom told me to not make jokes there anymore.
Before Surgery
A few years ago, I had some health issues I needed to take care of. When I was in the hospital doing the prep work for the surgery, my surgeon went over the basics of my chart and asked, "Any children?" and I replied, "Not that I know of."
I'm a woman. He did not laugh. He should've laughed.
A Dump
After going down the Maine Coast to pick up a 75-dollar sofa, we arrive at an obviously posh house right on the water.
And when the seller greeted us, I said, in my best Bette Davis voice, "What a dump!" I got complete silence. I mumbled, "just kidding!" and then we loaded the sofa in the car.
During IVF
During IVF, I was just about to go into the theatre to have two embryos given to me. They asked if I'd like to look down the microscope at the two potential babies.
I did and said, "Wow, they look just like their father." Nothing. My twins are now 20 years old and think I'm funny.
Making A Return
My wife and I went to the hospital to meet our newborn niece. We waited in line for a few minutes, and then I walked up to the front desk carrying our 3-month-old daughter.
Instead of asking for directions, I just raised her up and blurted out in a deadpan voice that I would like to make a return. No one laughed.
On The Surgical Table
I was on a surgical table once, and the doctor asked if I had any last questions, so I said, "How are we all feeling tonight!?" I got one half-hearted "woo."
There had to have been 12 people in that room, and I only got one measly "woo." I was expecting more than that. I thought it was funny.
In The Wine Section
When my mom passed out in the wine section in a supermarket, the paramedics asked me if she had something to drink while attending to her.
I said, "No, she's such a lightweight she passes out only from looking at the wine." The paramedics were not amused. She was fine in the end, but I'll never forget that awkward moment.
During Dinner
I went out with identical twins to eat at a restaurant. The hostess asked them if they were twins, and I answered, "we're triplets." I looked nothing like them, so it was obvious that we were not.
She said, "What?" I repeated that we were triplets, and she just stared at me blankly. I will never go eat there again.
Doctor Visit
I went for a medical appointment at the end of my first pregnancy. The doctor asked me if I was talking to the baby and letting her know we were ready for her to come at any time.
I said, "Yep, we've even tried bribing her with candy." The horrified stare from my doctor has never left my memory.
Dinner First
I once had to be rushed to the operating room, and the nurse tore off my shirt so she could properly take a look at my stomach.
I went, "Woah, take me out and buy me dinner first." They gave me anesthesia very quickly afterward. And we never spoke about it again, but the memory still haunts me.
At The Vet
The pet surgeon saved my fuzzy friend, but her post-surgery haircut was wild. I've never seen anything like it.
I said, "It's a good thing you did well in veterinary school. You're never going to make it as a hairdresser in this town. I didn't get any laughs, just awkward looks. I might need to change my vet too.
Selling Raffle Tickets
When I worked as a cashier, our supermarket would sometimes sell raffle tickets to customers. I asked a guy if he wanted to buy one. He said, "The last time my number got drawn, I went to Vietnam."
Luckily, I was a history nerd and got the joke, so I didn't congratulate him on winning the trip.