Dates are an interesting activity that pushes you to the limits of your mental and physical capacity. Between all the mental gymnastics and the wardrobe stress, dates out us ladies through the wringer. However, it does not need to be so. By following this guide on your dates, be they first dates or blind dates, you will find that your experience will be much smoother than your friends’. Also, that call for a second date will be coming to you sooner; you can take that to the bank.
Wear something flattering that you like and feel comfortable in
This is a simple but essential tip that has a double effect on both you and the date that you’ll be with. First, by wearing something comfortable and flattering, you’ll be able to move freely and not feel constricted. There are so many people that have gone on dates, but because they were feeling restricted by their clothes, they did not have a good time at all. We don’t want you to be one of those people. Also, by wearing flattering clothing, you are guaranteed to have him drooling over you, instantly assuring you that your date will start without a single hitch. That will elevate your confidence to the moon.
Understand romantic chemistry
Many people confuse having a good time with having sexual chemistry. These two things are not always aligned. In fact, it is possible to have a deep connection without having any sexual chemistry, especially on a first date. If you speak to many people who have been married for a long time, they will tell you that they started off as friends. To do that, you’d have had to form a deep connection. So don’t be worried when that first date doesn’t have crazy intimate vibes; it’s okay.
Aim for neutral expectations
They often say that expectations are the killers of joy. While you should have some moderate expectations, please don’t set the bar so high that no one will be able to attain it. If you arrive at your first date hoping to see Prince Charming, anyone, even the good ones, will be underwhelming, and you’ll miss out on some good people and deep connections. Instead, try, by all means, to let go of all expectations and just be in the moment with the person sitting in front of you.
Be positive
I don’t know how many times we can write this, but please be positive. Please be positive. Please be positive. If you go on a date looking for all the red flags in the world, trust us, you’ll find them and then some. But when you have a positive outlook and you look for the good in people, you’ll also find it. Being positive has already been proven to drastically increase one’s quality of life, so there is no reason under the sun why you shouldn’t keep a happy, positive outlook, not just for your date but for life in general.
Date mindfully
This is a very crucial point that feeds into the last point we spoke of. Try, by all means possible, to be present when you date. A lot of us let our minds wander on dates as we start to wonder if our dates like us just as much or if they don’t. Sometimes we can be having such a good time that we start to imagine a big wedding and the like. Stop doing that, please. Just be present and lost in the moment as best you can.
Check your date’s body language and facial expressions.
A lot of people forget that body language can be as big a problem as anything else. The last thing anyone wants is to sit across the table from someone who looks like they don’t want to be there. Small things like crossing your arms in a defensive stance can be apprehensive to others, so try to avoid that as much as possible. The best thing to do would be to make eye contact and smile at the person you’re with. That will go a long way.
Don’t get too personal
This is a big mistake that we often hear others complain about. The first date is a test of the waters. It’s when you dip your toes into the pool and see how cold or hot the water is. It’s not the time to dive into deeply personal matters, as that may make others uncomfortable. Your first date or your blind date is not the time to talk about your ex or your other previous partners, as those may be red flags or touchy topics. If things go well, you'll have more than enough time to delve into personal matters. For that first encounter at least, please refrain by all means.
Use active listening skills
Communication skills are vital in conversation, and your active listening skills can make or break the date. When your date is speaking, don’t text or be on your phone the whole time. Instead, ask open-ended questions and build on what your date just said. That way, you keep the conversation flowing, and everyone is happy.
Remember to focus on communication, not cross-examination
In line with that last point, asking questions is quite different from cross-examination. Rather than grilling someone about their career and their families, ask questions that your date will be happy to talk about. That way, you can get more out of them, and that pushes the conversation forward. If you reach an uncomfortable topic, don’t grill them on it; just move on. They will appreciate this more, and in time, you can circle back to such topics once you get more comfortable with each other.