9. Chased His Punk-A** Off
“I’m a very unassuming-looking guy. 5’8″, 150 pounds, and not a tattoo to be found. But back in the day, I was pretty athletic and I could hang in games with fringe D1 or semi-pro guys. I can’t emphasize how much I didn’t look like it at all. Anyway, in college, while hanging out in someone’s room, it came up that I played basketball a bit.
Out of nowhere, some dude I didn’t know started running his mouth about how he could destroy me. He just wouldn’t stop talking. I gave him every out until it basically became personally offensive. The other guys were a bit tired of this guy hanging around and they knew I could play, so we all trooped over to the gym, late in the winter, so we could settle things.
Here’s a spoiler alert: I ended up winning 11-0. I’m not sure if we played after that, but I remember it was 11-0 because I made sure to not let the guy score. And I’m a pretty mellow guy—I would have laid off and let him score a couple when it was clear that I was better, but this guy was a real jerk, so I just clamped down on him, start to finish. I blocked a ton of his shots.
He stopped hanging around nearly as much after that, so I was kind of a hero to the rest of the guys. I totally drove that snake out of our nation.”