Marriage and monogamy is intrinsically embedded into modern society, whether we like it or not. For some, a monogamous marriage is the only option in one’s eyes, and it works for a LOT of people. But history has shown that it isn’t for everyone. And there is nothing wrong with that, everyone is different. Let’s take a look at 20+ Celebrities Who Believe Monogamy is Unnatural.
Despite being married to Greg Wise for almost 14 years, Emma Thompson still has some doubts about monogamy. During a webchat interview with the parenting website Mumsnet, Thompson articulated her feelings on the matter. “Monogamy is an odd state, and actually it’s an odd state for women. I think that we’re locked into certain ideas and certain romantic ideals that have shaped our thinking about relationships for some time,” revealed Thompson. “And I do sometimes wonder about whether there are alternatives, and about whether our fury and rage and disbelief and horror about infidelity is quite realistic.”
In a 2017 interview with Playboy, Scarlett Johansson spilled the tea on why monogamy is unnatural. “I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing,” she said. “I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person. I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work, and the fact that it is such work for so many people—for everyone—the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing…It’s something I have a lot of respect for and have participated in, but I think it definitely goes against some instinct to look beyond.”
Jada Pinkett and Will Smith
During a 2015 interview with Howard Stern, Jada Pinkett Smith revealed some behind-the-scenes details about her successful and long-running marriage to Will Smith. “I trust that the man that Will is is a man of integrity. He’s got all the freedom in the world, and as long as Will can look at himself in the mirror and be OK, I’m good,” stated Pinkett Smith. “You gotta trust who you’re with, and at the end of the day, I’m not here to be anybody’s watcher. I’m not his watcher. He’s a grown man.” Will Smith also provided insight into their marriage in his 2005 interview with The Huffington Post. He said: “Our perspective is you don’t avoid what’s natural. You’re going to be attracted to people. In our marriage vows, we didn’t say “forsaking all others.”
Ethan and Ryan Hawke
In 2013, Ethan Hawke straight up admitted to being okay with polygamy and explained why he didn’t think cheating was such a big deal. “People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad,’ as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous,” stated Hawke. “To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went gray.” Hawke also delved on the uncertainty brought on by relationships. “My relationship with my present wife is thrilling to me and I’m committed to it. But neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in. Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do,” he added.
Harper’s Bazaar took a deep-dive into Tilda Swinton’s unconventional romantic life after she declared three’s company in her relationship. Swinton reportedly lives in Scotland with her children and their father, playwright John Byrne, in addition to her lover, Sandro Kopp. Swinton has described the arrangement as “sane” and exclaimed “We are all family…What you must also know is that we are all very happy.”
Even though she’s now happily married to Benji Madden, Cameron Diaz previously questioned the idea of monogamy. In a 2014 interview with InStyle magazine, Diaz expressed her concerns about marriage. “I don’t know if anyone is really naturally monogamous. We all have the same instincts as animals. But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things,” said Diaz
During a 2016 interview on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show, Hugh Grant explained why he thought marriage was “unromantic.” “If you ask me the question, ‘Do I think human beings are meant to be in 40-year-long monogamous, faithful relationships?’ No, no,” Grant stated. “I always admire the French and the Italians who are very devoted to their marriages. They take them extremely seriously, but it is understood that there might be other visitors at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. You just never boast about.”
In 2006, Sienna Miller was still dating Jude Law, but the actress didn’t have a very good perception of monogamy. “I don’t know, monogamy is a weird thing for me,” Miller stated in an interview with Rolling Stone. “It’s an overrated virtue, because, let’s face it, we’re f–ing animals.”
Dolly Parton has been married to her husband, Carl Thomas Dean, for over 50 years. The country superstar has often joked about her views on monogamy and why she isn’t particularly fond of it. When asked if she had an open marriage, Parton responded: “If we cheat we don’t know it, so if we do cheat, it’s very good for both us.” Later, in an interview with Vanity Fair, Parton was asked what the most overrated virtue was. This was her response: “Monogamy—I’m sorry, I meant monotony.” Nice one, Dolly!
Before “consciously uncoupling”, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had a rather interesting understanding about their relationship. According to People magazine, the Oscar-winning actress and Coldplay frontman sometimes had an “open” relationship during their 10-year marriage. A source also provided Access Hollywood with some details about their relationship. “If Chris was playing around, Gwyneth didn’t care. She’s never been jealous or territorial. Her philosophy is, ‘We’re both adults. We make our own choices,'” claimed the insider. In fact, cheating rumors surrounded Paltrow and Martin right before their marriage ended. The Oscar-winning actress was linked to her ex-boyfriend, Donovan Leitch, billionaire Jeff Soffer, and entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn. For his part, Martin was suspected of having flings with both Kate Bosworth and Alexa Chung. Back in 2011, Paltrow gave a rather intriguing interview during the Venice Film Festival. “I am a great romantic – but I also think you can be a romantic and a realist,” said Paltrow. “Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs. It’s like we’re flawed – we’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge. That’s their problem, but I really think that the more I live my life, the more I learn not to judge people for what they do. I think we’re all trying our best but life is complicated.”
Back in a 2014 Marie Claire interview, Shailene Woodley explained her beliefs about how monogamy isn’t incorporated in the chemical makeup of human. “I just haven’t met anyone where I was like, ‘Wow, I could definitely see myself spending a season of my life with you,'” she said. “I don’t even know if humans are genetically made to be with one person forever.”
In a 2014 interview, Alan Cumming explained how he doesn’t believe in monogamy, but is still in a committed marriage with his partner, Grant Shaffer. “We don’t have an open relationship,” stated Cumming. “What I do believe is that monogamy is not a natural state, and it is not something we are conditioned to do as animals. So in my own life, I realized it’s not possible, and I don’t pretend I can do it. And also if you are kind and you are honest and you are faithful in a true way, then it is not the worst thing that could happen—that you have a little something on the side.”
Mo’Nique and husband Sidney Hicks
There have been a lot of rumbling about Mo’Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks throughout the years. In 2016, the Oscar-winning actress finally set the record straight in a podcast. “No one knew it wasn’t Sidney’s idea to have an open marriage. It was mine. I want to say that again. It was not Sidney’s idea to have an open marriage; it was mine,” Mo’Nique explained. “So it’s not just an open relationship from a sexual standpoint, it’s an open relationship in terms of dialogue that you’re having with your spouse, your mate, your sons, your daughters, your mothers, your father, because we always hear ‘be someone important’ or ‘be yourself’ but that’s only when its politically correct—when you’ve fallen into the boundaries of what people expect you to be as opposed to you being yourself when it is against the preverbal norm but what we find is against the norm is really the norm.”
In a joint interview with People magazine and Entertainment Weekly, Shirley MacLaine explained how her marriage to film producer Steve Parker was different than what people might expect. “I guess you would say ‘practiced an open marriage’ in 1954, which was another lifetime,” said MacLaine. “No one understood it, we did. He lived in Japan basically, I lived in America working, and this and that…We’d meet up, always great friends, traveled sometimes together.” She added: “I think that’s the basis for a long-lasting marriage, if you really want to do such a thing. I would say better to stay friends and we don’t have enough time to talk about the sexuality of all. I was very open about all of that and so was he.”
Well, this one’s a no-brainer! Hugh Hefner laid it all out there in a 2009 interview with E! News about why marriage and monogamy just don’t make sense. “Marriage is just a convenience,” claimed Hefner. “It’s very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!”
Amidst his media meltdown in 2011, Charlie Sheen gave an 20/20 interview in which he discussed living with his two, 24-year-old girlfriends (or “goddesses” as he preferred to call them.) “You’ve read about the goddesses, come on. They’re an international sensation. These are my girlfriends. These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart,” Sheen said. “Maybe the three of us will get married. I don’t know,” he added. “I’m gonna say this. It’s a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It’s like an organic union of the hearts.”
In her provocative book If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN!: Whoopi’s Big Book of Relationships, Whoopi Goldberg discussed her views about extramarital affairs candidly. “Sometimes in a relationship, people can’t always get what they need, and if you have reputable people you can turn to in order to get what you need, I say go for it. It is a whole lot better than being frustrated and angry at the person you love,” wrote Goldberg.
The famous designer has been with his partner, Richard Buckley, for an eternity and the two tied the knot back in 2014. Still, Tom Ford has always been forthright about his feelings. In an interview with Arena, Ford was very direct about his views. He said: “I think that monogamy is artificial. I do not think it’s something that comes naturally to us…The relationship I’ve been in for 18 years—I don’t even want to get into this because he’s going to read this and I’m going to be in so much s–t!”
In a 2006 interview with Esquire, Maria Bello explained her views on never getting married and why that works for her. “If you notice, I’m not married, I’ve never been married,” she stated. “The whole idea of monogamy is nonsensical to me. I suppose I understand the idea of a lifelong helpmate and friend. But when you have to stay sexually monogamous to this one person, I think it’s usually a big fat lie. Read the statistics. Seventy percent of people are having affairs. And if they’re not, they’re jerking off to porn every night.”
While Akon believes that men have a natural inclination for polygamy, he doesn’t quite believe the same for women. Back in 2013, the singer shared his views with TMZ as he was passing through LAX. “The average guy in the world has a main girl and they got a side chick. And then they got a jump-off,” the singer stated. “At the end of the day as a male we are natural breeders by nature. We can’t even escape it if we wanted to. Let’s say you put 1,000 guys on one corner and one bad chick walk passed. You gon’ see 1,000 heads go, ‘Damn.’ They don’t even know why they doing it. They’re natural breeders. It’s in their genes, they can’t help it. Even if you’re walking with your girl and you’re holding her hand and you see a bad chick walk by and she lookin’ at you like, ‘Boy you better not look,’ you gonna wanna look so bad and you don’t even know why that urge is there, but you’re a natural breeder. It’s what we do. Men are put on this earth to breed and the reason why God put multiple women on this earth is for that.”
Comedian Margaret Cho has been married to artist Al Ridenour since 2003. During an appearance on The Real, Cho discussed her bisexuality and having an open marriage. “I’m married to a man but I’m bisexual so I like both,” Cho stated. “We got together because…we both have this , ‘I just don’t want to have sex with the same person my whole life. That’s just gross.'” When asked if she gets jealous of the other women or if she’s run into them at her house, Cho laid it all out. She said: “We have a really big house. It’s kind of like if we wanna have that, it’s like, ‘You can stay on your side or I’ll stay on my side.’ When I see her, I’ll make her dinner….Oh yeah. I’ve definitely been in the house.”